JALAV 4: The Will of the Gods 


By Sharon Green 

CH 1. The disagreement of male and the anger of Mida 

I awoke in the thick, enveloping darkness of the room, at first convinced there had been movement near 
me, after a moment allowing that the movement must have been Mehrayn's, tossing about upon the furs 
beside me. The male's sleep was uneasy, perhaps by cause of the words of disagreement he and I had 
spoken in the dwelling of Aysayn, he who was called Sigurr's Shadow. It had been necessary to speak 
those words over and again, with Aysayn and Chaldrin as well as Mehrayn, and still the males refused to 
abandon their stand. I had, at last, refused to discuss the matter further, which had silenced the males yet 
had not moved them from their stubborn stance. Fool that I was, I had first spoken of the matter myself, 
therefore could blame no one else for the difficulty. Though reluctantly, I had known many males of late; I 
knew it was likely they would attempt to interfere with the doings of a warrior. 

The darkness was cool and comfortable, bereft of the heat which would reappear with Mida's light. I lay 
upon the fur I shared with Mehrayn, feeling only comfort from its silky softness against my body, relieved 
that no intruding presence threatened. My sword and dagger were not far away, but the continuing 
presence of much drink lay even nearer, in my head and body. Had it been necessary to defend against 
intruders I would have done so, yet not with all of my usual skill. We had all of us drunk much of the 
drink called falar, that which was nearer unbrewed daru than the renth of city males, though none of the 
Sigurri males had had as much as I. As I was to depart with the new light, and alone, the males had 
insisted upon the sharing of falar, each cup, as they said, a prayer to Sigurr to watch over me upon my 
travels. I had not told them that their god cared naught for this warrior save for her use, for the doing 
would have been idle. I had, instead, accepted each cup given me, baffled by the surprise of the males 
when I continued to accept them. Falar had more presence than renth, yet less than brewed daru, that 
which warriors drank. I had agreed to take as much of the falar as I was able; did they believe I would 
give my word and then be forsworn? 

I sighed as I turned toward Mehrayn where he lay, seeing the deeper darkness of his back, able to see 
no more than the broadness of it, none of the corded muscle which rippled with his movement. So 
strange were males, these Sigurri even stranger. First it had been the males of Bellinard, a city to the 
north, then the males of Ranistard, even farther north. Ceralt and his Belsayah, Hannis and his Neelarhi, 
the male god Sigurr and his fighters, and now his Sigurri. Bellinard had fallen to my sister clans of 
Midanna, whom I led as war leader; Ranistard held those of my own clan of Hosta and would fall in its 
turn when the Midanna were free to ride against it. Ceralt, by now surely healed, had returned to his 
Belsayah, and perhaps led the Neelarhi as well, in the absence of Hannis. Sigurr dwelt among his fighters 
in undoubted pleasure, for I had raised his Sigurri to stand with the Midanna against the coming strangers, 
just as he had demanded. I had but one further thing to see to before I might return to my warriors who 
held Bellinard, a thing demanded of me by Mida herself. It was this thing which upset these Sigurri so 
greatly, yet in Mida's name I was unable to fathom the reason for such upset. 

I, who am Jalav, was first war leader to the Hosta clan before my sisters were taken by the males of 
Ranistard. This capture was allowed by the goddess Mida so that I might lead the other nine clans of 
sister Midanna against Bellinard with none to say I favored one clan above the others. It was necessary 
that I do naught to free the Hosta, and though my soul writhed in agony at that lack of doing, I was not 
able to refuse the will of Mida. Strangers came to our world who were enemies to Mida and Sigurr, and 
the goddess and god demanded that their warriors face these strangers and best them. Nearly all of the 


Hosta carried the quickened seed of males within them, and would therefore be unable to stand in battle 
with us. I planned to lead my warriors against the strangers and then see to the males of Ranistard, but 
first the nine enemy clans of Midanna must join us. 

Hosta carried the quickened seed of males within them, and would therefore be unable to stand in battle 
with us. I planned to lead my warriors against the strangers and then see to the males of Ranistard, but 
first the nine enemy clans of Midanna must join us. 

"Why do you not sleep, wench?" Mehrayn's deep voice came suddenly, held low so as not to challenge 
the darkness. "Had I as much falar within me as you have within you, it would be feyd before I awoke." 

"Falar is not like daru," said I, speaking as softly as he, my hand reaching to the dark shadow of his arm. 
"Had it been brewed daru I swallowed, I might well be insensible. 

Was I not sufficiently awake and aware during your devotions?" "Indeed you were," said he, chuckling as 
he turned toward me. "With the removal of your life sign, your sufficiency is beyond question. You do not 
mean to deny me that sufficiency for a final time, I hope? I await the new light with thoughts of no other 
thing than my devotions." 

"Dark Sigurr is surely pleased with your piety," said I, finding great pleasure at the touch of his hand upon 
my back, beneath my hair. "Mida, too, will be pleased that you no longer mean to impede her warrior. 
The home tents of Midanna would allow you no devotions, yet would you be used to the glory of 
Mida-again and again and again. The use you had at the hands of my warriors in Bellinard would be as 
naught in comparison." 

"Were all Midanna as-sufficient as you, I would give myself to them with eager anticipation," he 
murmured, drawing me into his arms. "I will miss you sorely once you have gone, and more than that; 
already do I feel your absence. Will you join me upon my altar when the new light arrives, or do you 
mean to deny me a last taste of you?" 

"Such a taste might be had now, here upon these furs, rather than with the new light upon your altar," I 
murmured, feeling the nearness of him begin to heat my blood. So broad and hard was the male, so 
warm to my hands which stroked his back, so alive to my bare body pressed to his. I, too, felt the gap 
his absence would bring, though I would not mind the emptiness when my life sign hung about my neck 
once more. At one time my life sign was of wood, carved from the tree which had been marked as mine 
at birth, though the symbol of the hadat had been changed; Mida had touched it and made it like her 
Crystals, clear and light yet not easily broken; Sigurr had breathed into the crystal hadat, sending 
darkness swirling throughout its shape. In such a way was it shown that I rode for both goddess and god, 
and also was I given a great gift: with the life sign about my neck upon its thong, what wounds came to 


me in battle were not immediately felt, and were healed during no more than one darkness of sleep. The 
gift was priceless to a warrior and war leader such as I, yet there was something I did not understand! 
with my life sign upon me I felt no desire for males. I had thought my lack of interest due to the use I had 
been put to by the dark god Sigurr, yet it had not been so. Though to me the time had been horror-filled 
agony, I had been told by Mida that Sigurr had been unexpectedly pleased. For what reason, then, 
would interest in males be taken from me? It had surely not been Mida's doing, for her teachings council 
that one uninterested in males is a thing of pity; how are our clans to thrive and grow stronger if peopled 
by warriors who care naught for those who are able to give warriors new warrior lives? The doing was 
not beyond Sigurr, who would surely laugh soundlessly at whatever pain I was given due to a lack of 
interest, yet the reason seemed insufficient. It would not be-

me in battle were not immediately felt, and were healed during no more than one darkness of sleep. The 
gift was priceless to a warrior and war leader such as I, yet there was something I did not understand! 
with my life sign upon me I felt no desire for males. I had thought my lack of interest due to the use I had 
been put to by the dark god Sigurr, yet it had not been so. Though to me the time had been horror-filled 
agony, I had been told by Mida that Sigurr had been unexpectedly pleased. For what reason, then, 
would interest in males be taken from me? It had surely not been Mida's doing, for her teachings council 
that one uninterested in males is a thing of pity; how are our clans to thrive and grow stronger if peopled 
by warriors who care naught for those who are able to give warriors new warrior lives? The doing was 
not beyond Sigurr, who would surely laugh soundlessly at whatever pain I was given due to a lack of 
interest, yet the reason seemed insufficient. It would not be-

"Mehrayn, I do not mean to remain till the new light," I said, his body still as he heard my words. "The 
last of the darkness will do best to see me upon my way from this city, before those who dwell in it are 
up and about. A journey such as the one before me is best begun as soon as possible." 

His motionlessness touched me more deeply than his flesh, for I knew well that I would now have no 
more of him. His flesh remained as warm as it had been, his great arms as tightly about me, yet would 
they soon be gone, withdrawn in male-seen insult. 

"So soon?" he asked at last, and then, strangely, the arms I had expected to release me tightened the 
more. The breath was nearly taken from me with the abrupt constriction, and a small grunt escaped my 
throat, more from surprise than pain. My breasts were crushed against the broadness of his chest and I 
moved in silent protest, nearly wide-eyed at the strength he showed. So easily is a warrior able to forget 
the strength of males, yet recall it she must if she is to remain free and a warrior. Again I moved in 
protest, attempting to loose myself from the keren-like embrace, and at last Mehrayn perceived my 
difficulty. 

"Have I hurt you, wench?" he asked, releasing me enough so that he could look at me. "It was not my 
intention to do you harm, yet the thought of losing you so quickly-the new light seems a great deal farther 
away than the end of this darkness. I suddenly find that my arms lack the strength to release you." 

I breathed deeply as I continued to attempt to extricate myself. "The strength of your arms seems more 
than sufficient for any deed you may care to essay," I said. "Perhaps you could try to release me--else I 
seek the aid of another." 

"Another?" asked Mehryn, chuckling as his arms tightened some small amount. "There are no others 
about to ask, nor would any Sigurri attempt to stand against me in a situation such as this. Even Chaldrin, 
who has sworn himself to your safety, would not attempt to come between us. Should I find it impossible 
to release you, who would there be to stand for you?" 

"Mehrayn forgets that I require no more than one to stand with me," I replied, pressing my dagger to his 
throat. Again his body grew motionless, this time for different reasons. "'This blade was given me by 
Mida, and by cause of that has become my sister. Is it your desire to be kissed more deeply by my 
sister?" 

"I had not realized you had brought your-sister to my furs," said he cautiously against the sharpened 


metal. "Never before this have you slept with a dagger so near to hand." 

metal. "Never before this have you slept with a dagger so near to hand." 

"Wench, I refuse to believe that you would use that blade on me," said he, remaining motionless. "We 
have come to mean too much to one another to cause each other harm. You will put that blade up and 
then we will pleasure ourselves, and come the new light we will leave together to see to those enemy 
wenches of yours. Aysayn will lead our legions out when the rites are done, and we will ride to meet 
them when our chore is completed." 

"When our chore is completed," I echoed, once again annoyed. "So you insist that you will accompany 
me, do you? What of the agreement we came to?" 

"I came to no agreement," said he. "It was you alone who refused the presence of those who would stand 
with you during your need. Once I rode from you and permitted you to ride from me; had Sigurr not 
moved those foul followers of the Oneness to attack my legion quickly, I well might have returned here 
rather than continue on to their city. The distress I felt apart from you was more than I was able to bear, 
Jalav, and I do not care to bear it again." 

"Sooner would you bear what the Midanna would bring you," said I, disgusted. "You eagerly seek an 
unknown fate, forgetting that I cannot prevent it, for I stand in Mida's cause and not in that of a male! 
Perhaps you should have some small taste of that fate." 

"Wench, you may not do this!" protested Mehrayn, but he released me at the urging of my blade. Though 
he seemed sure I would not harm him, he knew well enough that I need not slay him to see my will done. 
And were I to wound him, he would not only not accompany me, neither would Aysayn permit him to 
accompany the Sigurri legions when they rode forth. His insistence on foolishness had angered me, so 
that I wanted to wound him. In the darkness the male was unable to see my anger, but he could sense it 
from the near growl in my voice-and be properly wary. 

As Mehrayn put himself flat upon the furs, I followed, one hand to his shoulder as I knelt across the dark 
shadow of his body, the other hand a fist about the hilt of the dagger which touched his throat. It had 
been some time since I had last used a male so, but I remembered the way of it. The male stirred faintly 
beneath me, clearly agitated, and I smiled into the surrounding darkness. 

"You cared little for use of this sort as a captive in Bellinard," said I, my voice soft as I moved farther 
toward his thighs along his belly. "Were you captive to Midanna in their own home tents, you would 
know no other use. Never would you be permitted to take a warrior, only to serve her in her own chosen 
way. Jalav is a warrior and war leader, and has taken many males in this manner." 

"Jalav has swallowed too great an amount of falar," said Mehrayn, sourly. "I am not a wench to be forced 
to the pleasure of a warrior, nor am I as deeply in need as in Bellinard. The war leader Jalav will receive 
from me no more than that which her esteemed enemies would receive-here or in their own home tents." 

"You speak so by cause of never having tasted of the sthuvad drug," said I, moving myself to where his 
manhood lay. Indeed was he only partially aroused, not nearly enough for adequate use, yet did his flesh 
jump at the touch of mine, and begin somewhat to rise and harden. "In the presence of the sthuvad drug, 
a warrior may do with a male as she wishes, and the male may not deny her." 

"I am the master of my own body," said Mehrayn, the words forced between clenched teeth. "It is not 
seemly for a man to be taken so, and I shall not allow it." 


"And yet you deemed it seemly to take this warrior with your strength when she would have had none of 
you," I replied in a murmur, caressing his male-flesh with my female-flesh and causing him to continue to 
stir. "As that taking was to your liking, so is this taking to mine." 

"And yet you deemed it seemly to take this warrior with your strength when she would have had none of 
you," I replied in a murmur, caressing his male-flesh with my female-flesh and causing him to continue to 
stir. "As that taking was to your liking, so is this taking to mine." 

"I find little unwillingness in your body, male," said I with a soft laugh, pressing my breasts to his chest as I 
kissed at the flesh beneath the hair. Red was that hair, like the hair upon his head though lighter, and had I 
been able to see him I would also have seen his sun-darkened skin, marked upon the left shoulder with 
the stroke in black which stood for Sigurr. At my kiss his great unwillingness stirred even more greatly, 
searching for the heat in which it might bask, and again I laughed. "For one who is unwilling, your rod 
seems uncommonly active," said I. 

"Never would I wish to see a rod used upon you, wench," said he, growling softly. "A length of leather 
would suffice for your hiding, which shall be yours should you continue with this- Ahhh." 

The breath flew from him as I succeeded in his capture and then, slowly, settled myself upon him. The 
male was far too used to having females many times each fey, and was therefore not difficult to bring to 
rigidity. Ah, Mida! The pleasure a warrior may find in the presence of a male of strength! I hummed along 
with the motion of my hips, and Mehrayn's great hands rose to my sides as he moaned. 

"Perhaps-perhaps a brief time engaged so would not be too unseemly" he said haltingly, his hips rising to 
meet me. "There will yet be words between us on this matter, wench-at another time." 

Again I laughed as I often did in the presence of the male, until I allowed the pleasure to take me. I kept 
the dagger firmly in my fist, carefully near the male's throat yet did not threaten his safety, and we both felt 
great pleasure. After an endless time his hand was able to force the dagger entirely away from him, and 
he threw me back in the furs, his body quickly following. So abruptly did I become possessed rather than 
possessor that I gasped, yet the pleasure did not cease. With Mehrayn's lips to mine came the first of his 
vigorous pummeling, and my dagger was forgotten entirely. 

I did not awaken till the first of Mida's light spread warmth and color through the room. Mehrayn lay 
deeply asleep beside me to my left, my dagger lay abandoned and forgotten to my right, and I, sluggard 
that I was, lay where I had been left when the pleasure was done. I had immediately slept, more deeply 
than was usual; the falar had indeed affected me. Already was the fey advanced beyond my planned 
departure time, and I was as annoyed with myself as I had been at Mehrayn in the darkness. To take 
pleasure with a male is the right of a war leader and warrior, but yet the will of Mida must come first. 

I arose from the furs and quietly donned my breech, then placed my dagger in its leg bands. Best to be 
gone before Mehrayn's awakening, so that I need not listen to him beg again to accompany me. Although 
my hair seemed snarled and twisted its entire length, from crown to thighs, it would keep till I rode the 
forests toward the land of the Midanna. A heavy wooden comb was among the few possessions I had 
wrapped for the journey. Upon a platform by the wall was my bow and shafts, and the life sign I had 
carefully removed the darkness previous. I raised my swordbelt and sword from the furs beside the place 
I had slept, then turned toward the platform. It would be the work of no more than a moment to gather 
all I required, and then would I be- "So you are prepared to depart," came Mehrayn's voice suddenly 
from where he lay. "And I may not halt you, for you move to the will of the gods. Am I permitted to wish 
it might be otherwise?" 


"To wish the matter otherwise would be to disapprove of the doings of the gods," said I, looking down to 
where he lay in the furs. "Few males approve of the demands of Mida, yet in this endeavor the will of 
Sigurr joins hers. Do you mean to set yourself against the dark god, O Sword of Sigurr?" 

"To wish the matter otherwise would be to disapprove of the doings of the gods," said I, looking down to 
where he lay in the furs. "Few males approve of the demands of Mida, yet in this endeavor the will of 
Sigurr joins hers. Do you mean to set yourself against the dark god, O Sword of Sigurr?" 

"And yet you will not," said I, knowing the truth of this as I looked up into the warmth of his eyes. Again I 
marveled at this male, this Sigurri, who could have held me with his strength yet refused to do so, for he 
knew that I did as I must, just as he did. I knew he was possessed of warrior honor, which moved each 
of us to the path of right rather than that of personal pleasure. 

"Yes, Sigurr take me for the fool I am, I will allow you," he murmured, sliding his palms beneath my hair 
and drawing me easily to the firm strength of his bare body. "I shall have your lips a final time and then I 
shall turn from you, and in a hand of feyd I shall follow after and find you. Once I have done so we will 
face the final battle together, and then-and then the will of the gods will have been seen to." 

His lips lowered to mine and eagerly did I meet them, endlessly pleased that I need not discuss my 
thoughts after battle with the strangers was done. It was then that Mida wished me to lead the Midanna 
against the Sigurri, destroying them before they might do us the same, yet had I learned that the Sigurri 
were honorable far beyond the god they served, and would not attack those they had fought beside. 
Should the matter come to it, I would give my life and soul to halt the intended attack, for the Midanna 
would not find it prudent to enter battle by the single clan against so large a force commanded by a single 
leader. Midanna and Sigurri would not raise blade to one another and I-I would find the peace I had 
come to long for, the peace that would not be mine while I lived. I let my swordbelt fall from my grasp 
and held Mehrayn as he held me, knowing that I would forget him once my soul thinned and melted into 
the final dark-yet somehow his strength and warmth would be eternally missed. 

Our lips clung together in an attempt to prolong the moment, though it was impossible to prolong it 
forever. We parted at last and Mehrayn looked down upon me, his hand gently smoothing my hair. 

"I shall help you gather your things and choose a kan," he said, with resolve. "Allow me a brief moment to 
cover myself, and then we may . . . " 

A clear, deep ringing broke into his words, the summons from Sigurr that the time of devotions was at 
hand for all Sigurri. Mehrayn looked startled at the sound, and his tone became bitter. 

"So I am not to be allowed even to see you off," he said, stroking my face. "Perhaps Sigurr was 
displeased with the words I spoke earlier after all, yet I refuse to withdraw them. I must go now to find a 
wench to take to my altar, but my prayers will be for you rather than her, my Jalav. Go with Sigurr's 
blessing, and care for yourself till I am able to stand once more beside you." 

His lips brushed mine briefly and then he was gone, to take up his black body cloth from where it lay 
upon the floor covering and begin to wrap it about himself. No, I will not share your devotions, I had told 
him in the darkness, and he, recalling my words, would go without argument to seek another. I found my 
swordbelt upon the floor at my feet but yet in Mida's name, I could not pick it up. Never would I allow a 
male to deter me and yet-


"Do you mean to send me to battle without a final blessing?" I asked, knowing how the male saw his 
devotions to Sigurr. "I had thought the male Mehrayn cared more for the war leader Jalav." 

"Do you mean to send me to battle without a final blessing?" I asked, knowing how the male saw his 
devotions to Sigurr. "I had thought the male Mehrayn cared more for the war leader Jalav." 

"Wench, I had not thought you would remain," he said, amused, as I eyed him warily, recalling the 
embrace I had received in the darkness. "No, I shall not crush you to me again-at least until I have you 
upon my altar. Come, the time flies before us." 

Quickly then did he take me to that black, padded platform which was his altar to his god, turned to light 
the black candle which stood above it upon a ledge, and then returned to me with eyes shining as brightly 
as the flame. In a moment was my breech opened and pulled away and my dagger taken and thrown 
aside, and then was I lowered gently to the black platform, Mehrayn following to crouch above me. 

"Sigurr, hear these words from one privileged to be known as your Sword," said the male, pressing his 
lips lightly to mine as his hands touched everywhere. "I ask that you guard this woman I have beneath me 
as you would guard one you looked upon as your own beloved, one for whom you would gladly give 
your own life that hers be spared. She rides to danger among those who are enemy to her; protect her 
and aid her in her attempts as your breath in her life sign restores health to her wounded body. Should 
this be done, I will never again ask a thing of you, for all I wish for in this life will be seen to." 

"Mehrayn," I whispered, but yet his lips stopped whatever words I would have spoken concerning his 
prayer. That he asked only for my well-being and not his own disturbed me, yet was I caught up in his 
devotions and unable to pursue the matter. The joy his body was able to bring to mine was a 
never-ending thing, and much did we revel in that joy till Mehrayn was no longer able to continue. For a 
long time the male continued to lie atop me and look down into my eyes. 

"I do believe I detect a purr in the throat of my hadat," said he, clearly pleased. "To cause a hadat to 
purr, a man need only put her to her back and stroke her deep." 

"True," said I with a smile, "and yet must a male be ever wary of her claws. The claws of a hadat are 
never long sheathed." 

To prove the truth of my words I set my own claws to the flesh of his back and drew them gently down, 
and the male affected to cringe as though in pain. 

"Ah, Sigurr, she wounds me!" he moaned, thrashing about so that his body touched mine at all points. 
"Surely she now shows her jealousy at my intention to take another wench to my altar. Once she has 
gone, how may I not take another wench? When she has returned to my side there will be no other, and 
yet while she is gone-" 

No longer was his tone light, his eye sparkling. Soberly did he gaze at me, and surely did I believe his 
words were incomprehensible. The light of the fey bathed his features in the glow of growing warmth, and 
of a sudden it came to me that I had not the time to puzzle out his meaning. My task awaited me, the task 
which had for too long been put off. 

"And now she must be gone," said I, touching the serious lines of his face. "Release me, male, so that we 
may be about the duties which await us." 

"Ah, yes, the duties which await us," said he with a sigh, but he remained motionless. "We shall each of us 
see to our duties, and yet you have not spoken of your feelings toward my taking another to my altar for 


devotions. Do you mean to blame me for obeying the word of my god?" 

devotions. Do you mean to blame me for obeying the word of my god?" 

"Oh, indeed," said he, essaying a smile. "You may no more hold me at fault than I may hold-" His words 
stopped abruptly to be followed by an odd smile and strange expression. "You-mean to take another to 
your-sleeping leather during our parting?" he asked in a strange voice. "You are a war leader, and will 
therefore lie with another man?" 

"Should the desire come to me," I agreed with a shrug, moving somewhat beneath him. "There will 
undoubtedly be many males among the home tents of the enemy Midanna, and once I have won their 
leadership the males will be eager to please. Mehrayn, you must release me now, for I cannot move past 
the bulk of you." 

"Oh, indeed, release you," said he, at last beginning to rise from the altar. "The-males will be eager to 
please you, and yet by then I will have led my legions to rejoin you. There will be little need for you to 
seek another when I am there." 

"The matter will be seen to in its own time," said I, relieved, as I rose from the platform. Much did I 
dislike all that belonged to Sigurr, although I had ignored the dislike for Mehrayn's sake. "It may perhaps 
be necessary that I honor one or more of the favorites of those who will follow me," said I, stretching my 
body. "I will then put aside my life sign and use the males gently, so that I do not cause them upset." 

"I cannot conceive of a man alive who would find upset at your use," muttered Mehrayn, eyeing me 
where I stood. "Even those who willingly enslave themselves. And yet-I had forgotten about your life 
sign. With your life sign about your lovely throat, you will feel desire for none of them." 

The thought seemed to please the male; he grinned and chuckled. Again was I perplexed, even as I 
retrieved and replaced my breech and dagger, and bent for my sword. Once it was belted about me, I 
saw that Mehrayn did likewise. Much would it have pleased me to wash the smell of a male from me 
before taking my leave, yet would the washing be more thorough when once I found a stream or lake in 
the forests through which I meant to ride. I strode to the platform to find my life sign-and my fingers 
closed on air. Thinking I had mistaken the place, I looked about, yet nowhere was the life sign to be 
seen. In sudden upset I threw all things from the platform, the bow, the shafts, the flame-maker and comb 
I had prepared, yet all to no avail. The platform stood bare of all things-most especially my life sign. 

"What occurs here, wench?" asked Mehrayn, halting beside me. "Do you mean to throw the whole room 
about now that you no longer will have use of it?" 

"My life sign," I said, immediately turning toward him. "Have you moved it elsewhere, male?" 

"Not I," said he, with a frown. "Perhaps it has fallen behind the table." 

Quickly then did he reach to the platform, lift it from where it stood and peer beneath, with no success. 
Clearly the life sign was no more beneath the platform than upon it. The male then began a slow, careful 
search among those things that I had thrown to the floor cloth, yet a thought had come to me that held me 
from joining his search. In only one manner might the life sign have flown so completely from where it had 
been left, and in such a manner was I able to know of Mida's displeasure with me. As Mehrayn stood to 
look about himself in great frustration, I quietly walked to those things I had thrown to the floor cloth and 


began gathering them to me. 

began gathering them to me. 

"There is no need," said I, holding the things I would soon take to the forests with me, shaking my hair 
back from my arms. "No search will discover that which has been reclaimed by the one who gave it." 

"What foolishness do you speak?" he asked, turning his look of displeasure from all about to me. "The life 
sign has merely been misplaced, not reclaimed. Would your Mida take from you the magic of her healing 
powers and Sigurr's upon the dawn of the fey you ride to battle at her bidding? Such a thing would be 
inconceivable." 

"Patience is more often to be found in mortals than in goddesses," I replied, stringing my bow. "Perhaps it 
came to Mida that I would have little need of her magic healing when I concerned myself with no other 
thing than dallying with a male. I must now see to her task without the aid of her magic, and for this I may 
blame no one other than myself. I cannot say I knew no better." 

The bile rose high in me at thought of my stupidity. When one surrounds oneself with males, one begins to 
think as they, a thing I had not known was possible. I now must return to the forest ways as quickly as 
possible, and hope to avoid any further disasters. 

"Should one be at fault, that one is myself," said Mehrayn, his firm hand resting on my shoulder. "I cannot 
believe, however, that the life sign has been reclaimed, and will immediately begin my search to prove the 
contention. You may assist me or merely sit and await the results; I will not be proven wrong." 

"Perhaps not," said I, showing no awareness of his hand on me. "I, however, have already been proven 
wrong, and have not the time to sit about in idle patience. Should you find the life sign, you may bring it 
after me when your legions are prepared to march." 

"Bring it after- No!" exclaimed Mehrayn, turning me quickly by the shoulders and snatching away the 
newly strung bow. "You cannot ride to battle without the protection given you! Do you seek crippling or 
death?" 

"Do you mean to say that the war leader Jalav has never before faced battle without protection?" I 
demanded. So great was my anger at this insult that my hand closed about the hilt of my sword. The male 
saw the effect of his words upon me, yet showed annoyance rather than contrition. 

"Do not think to lure me from my stand with misdirection, wench," said he, in a tone of disapproval. "I 
know well enough that you have faced battle many times and had need of no protection other than your 
sword. Yet I would also know how many of those times you alone faced enemies without number? How 
many of those times was done what you are about to do? No mortal wench-or man-may face your task 
without the protection of the gods, and this you may not deny." 

"My task is what I may not deny," I said, the insult diminishing somewhat, the stiffness remaining 
unchanged. "When taken as a slave in Bellinard, I faced enemies without number; when held with the 
Hosta by the males of Ranistard, I faced enemies without number; when captured by Ceralt and his 
Belsayah, I faced enemies without number; when sent as a slave to the Caverns of the Doomed, I faced 
enemies without number. Also did I walk the lines for Silla trash, as the scars upon me testify, yet did I 
survive to avenge the insult. Do not speak of what you don't know, male, and beware giving insult. Jalav 
does not care to swallow insult." 


"Nor has she spoken, till now, of what service to the gods has entailed for her," said the male, his green 
looking down upon me. "These Silla, who gave you such terrible wounds as to cause the scarring you 
wear-they are enemy Midanna, are they not? They stand among those who unknowingly await you, do 
they not?" 

"Nor has she spoken, till now, of what service to the gods has entailed for her," said the male, his green 
looking down upon me. "These Silla, who gave you such terrible wounds as to cause the scarring you 
wear-they are enemy Midanna, are they not? They stand among those who unknowingly await you, do 
they not?" 

"Indeed, denial is reserved to mortal men alone," said he, grimacing. "Should I attempt to stand in your 
path, I will be blown from it by those who may not be denied. I dislike being moved about so." He 
looked at his altar a moment, and then back at me. "Very well. As I am given no alternative, I shall see 
you upon your way. When your life sign is found, I shall follow after with it." 

He came then to aid me in gathering the few things I would take to the forests, and another moment saw 
us moving toward the door which led from his chamber. Mehrayn put a hand to the door to open it, yet 
did he hesitate and then bend an odd look upon me. 

"And who might this--Ceralt of the Belsayah be, in whose capture you were?" he asked, the oddness 
also a part of his tone. "No doubt a man of low character, who sought to give you no other thing than 
pain and shaming, a man whose life was well ended by the edge of your blade." 

I, too, hesitated before the door, remembering Ceralt. As tall and broad as Mehrayn was Ceralt, with 
eyes nearly as light, yet was Ceralt dark of hair, and darker of skin despite Mehrayn's tanning. Many 
were the memories I had of Ceralt, not all of them unpleasant. 

"Ceralt-was he who bought me as slave in Bellinard, he who claimed me as his own in Ranistard, he who 
found me after I had walked the lines for the Silla and lay near to death," said I, seeing each of these 
things against the wood of the door as I spoke of them. "It was he who was chosen by Mida to bring me 
to her, and for that reason was I given into his capture for the journey. Ceralt-wished to make me his, 
and would not acknowledge my service to Mida, therefore was his life nearly forfeit at journey's end. 
I-bargained with Sigurr for his life and the lives of those others with whom we traveled, then left them and 
rode to raise the Sigurri. Ceralt was too gravely wounded to speak with, yet did I leave word with others 
that he was not to seek me again, therefore shall I never lay eyes upon him again." 

"I see," said Mehrayn quietly. "You warned him away, therefore will he refrain from seeking you out. 
Merely by cause of the warning." 

"Certainly," said I, understanding naught of his oddness. "Nearly was his life lost by cause of his 
insistences. No other than a fool would attempt the pursuit of that which has been denied him by the 
gods." 

"The truth of your words cannot be denied," said Mehrayn, with a small, odd smile. "No other than a fool 
would do such a thing." 

With such comment was the door then opened before me, so that I might walk through. I did so without 
hesitation, relieved that the conversation need no longer be continued. As a Sigurri male, Mehrayn did 
well in upholding the greater strangeness of all Sigurri. 


The corridor we entered was carved from stone, thick candles illuminating the black of the walls, as well 
as the small platforms which stood here and there against those walls, and the silver sconces in which the 
candles themselves were held. Though other doors appeared at intervals in the black walls along the 
corridor, no other living being did we see till we descended to the level below. Here were some few 
Sigurri males moving about their business, two slave females in red hip cloths and bare, red-tipped 
breasts who sought to take the dust from those things which stood about, and one slave female who bore 
a large wooden board laden with provender. When her eyes touched Mehrayn she halted and slipped to 
her knees, her head bending as far as possible above the board. Light of hair and eye was the slave, of a 
similar coloring to Ilvin, the Hitta warrior who had wished to accompany me to the land of the Sigurri, yet 
no further did the similarity run. Had Ilvin been captured by males, I much doubted that she would have 
knelt so easily. Midanna warriors do not so easily acknowledge themselves slave. 

The corridor we entered was carved from stone, thick candles illuminating the black of the walls, as well 
as the small platforms which stood here and there against those walls, and the silver sconces in which the 
candles themselves were held. Though other doors appeared at intervals in the black walls along the 
corridor, no other living being did we see till we descended to the level below. Here were some few 
Sigurri males moving about their business, two slave females in red hip cloths and bare, red-tipped 
breasts who sought to take the dust from those things which stood about, and one slave female who bore 
a large wooden board laden with provender. When her eyes touched Mehrayn she halted and slipped to 
her knees, her head bending as far as possible above the board. Light of hair and eye was the slave, of a 
similar coloring to Ilvin, the Hitta warrior who had wished to accompany me to the land of the Sigurri, yet 
no further did the similarity run. Had Ilvin been captured by males, I much doubted that she would have 
knelt so easily. Midanna warriors do not so easily acknowledge themselves slave. 

The male turned then and rapidly retraced his steps in the direction from which we had come, leaving the 
slave where she knelt and a Midanna warrior in whom impatience flared with the strength of Mida's light 
at mid fey. I looked briefly about at those who hurried to and fro, saw none who seemed intent upon 
barring my way, slung my bow across my shoulders and added the case of shafts to my left, then 
purposely took my leave. 

To one side of Mehrayn's dwelling stood a smaller dwelling called stables, that which housed the kand in 
Mehrayn's possession. No Sigurri was then about, and no sign that a kan had been prepared for me, 
though as expected, brought disappointment. The stone of the floor was unlittered with the stiff, yellow 
stall bedding, as though one had already been there to clear away the trailings of the fey previous, leaving 
my feet an easier path through the dwelling. I sought the kan I had brought from Bellinard, thinking it 
might be among those of Mehrayn and, surprisingly, there in the dimness to the back of the dwelling, so it 
was. 

The beast turned its head to regard me as I slid in beside it, softly whickering to show its recognition. A 
glance about the enclosure showed its bridle hung upon the wall, within easy reach. It was the work of a 
moment to place it upon the r beast, another moment to tie my small pack of belongings into its mane, 
and then did I back the beast from the enclosure and mount in a single, fluid jump. My weight upon the 
yellow and brown kan and its release from confinement caused it to dance about in anticipation, as 
pleased as I at the prospect of departure, as eager as I to be shut of the cities and doings of males. I 
touched its sides with my heels and we danced forward, leaving the dimness for the growing light and 
warmth beyond. 

There were few about to see me ride from the glittering black of Mehrayn's dwelling, those few heedless 
of me as they moved along upon errands of their own. Truly had Mida sent a glorious fey for my travel's 
beginning, one which would be all the more glorious once the forests had been reached. The road tended 
ever downward, for the city of the Sigurri was built level upon level, carved from the face of the mountain 
against which it had been built. I rode past glittering black upon the fifth and fourth levels, yet the third 
and second brought more and more red-black dwellings to stand about the glittering black. The glittering 
dwellings of the higher levels were for those of higher station, those of lower level red-black for those of 
lower station. Much were males concerned with position in life, as though there was importance to be 
found in so foolish a male thing. What greater importance was there than to gain the position of war 
leader to warriors of worth during the glory of battle? Those who were Midanna were warriors all, yet 


even the Sigurri had those about who were other than warriors. I looked about at those males of the 
lower levels who did not wear the black of Sigurr, those males who stood sweeping dust and dirt from 
before their odd-appearing dwellings, those males who saw to the kand of those from above who paused 
on their level, those males who did naught save stand about and converse idly with others like 
themselves. For what reason were they permitted to remain in what was purportedly a city of warriors? 
They none of them wore weapons, these males who looked me with unvoiced heat as I rode by, yet did 
they live among those who fought in the name of Sigurr. Much though I had tried, I could conceive of no 
use for these males, no reason for their presence; it remained one of the many male oddities. 

even the Sigurri had those about who were other than warriors. I looked about at those males of the 
lower levels who did not wear the black of Sigurr, those males who stood sweeping dust and dirt from 
before their odd-appearing dwellings, those males who saw to the kand of those from above who paused 
on their level, those males who did naught save stand about and converse idly with others like 
themselves. For what reason were they permitted to remain in what was purportedly a city of warriors? 
They none of them wore weapons, these males who looked me with unvoiced heat as I rode by, yet did 
they live among those who fought in the name of Sigurr. Much though I had tried, I could conceive of no 
use for these males, no reason for their presence; it remained one of the many male oddities. 

It seemed as though half the fey had passed before the multitude thinned and the way carried me from the 
city. With none before me I allowed my kan his head, and quickly did his ever-lengthening stride take us 
farther and farther away. Truly were cities a thing of males, confining, violating, unreasoning and 
maddening. The open countryside through which I rode was a gift from Mida in comparison, the 
occasional dwellings and toiling field-males notwithstanding. The muscles of my kan bunched over and 
again as the beast strove to increase its pace, and I tightened my knees and bent forward, encouraging it 
to an even greater pace. 

Not long did I allow my mount to continue at full tilt, for there was a considerable journey before us. I 
slowed our plunge to an easy trot, freed my bow from about my shoulders, then looked more 
purposefully food stuffs. There was a small hunger in me at that time, brought about by having fed thrice 
each fey as the males did, yet would I soon revert to the proper trail manner of only twice each fey. To 
be free of males was to be free to act as a warrior preferred, with none to insist upon another way, a 
supposedly superior way. 

Abruptly I slowed the kan to a stop, slid from its back, placed my bow upon the stone of the way, and 
crouched with my arms about me. With head bowed I attempted to force the trembling from my body, 
much as my previous thoughts had attempted to force the trembling from my mind. Never before in my 
life as a warrior had I ridden forth without my life sign, the life sign which was the guardian of my soul. I 
raised my head and breathed deeply of the sweet, silken air, warmed to perfection by the climbing light of 
the fey, lifting my face to the gentle breeze which whispered by. Once thought upon, the reason for my 
difficulty became clear; others might dismiss consideration of Mida's displeasure, yet Jalav was not 
among them. I had put aside the wishes of Mida and had paused to dally with males, therefore had my 
life sign been taken. Was I then to be allowed the presence of those selfsame males, to allay the loss of 
the life sign? I laughed once, bitterly, knowing myself a fool. Never again would I be allowed the 
presence of Mehrayn, just as the presence of Ceralt had been denied me. My life and efforts were 
Mida's alone, and were I to forget the lesson, it would soon be recalled to me. I was to continue on as I 
was, without life sign and without accompaniment, and I was to prevail. Failure would bring a greater loss 
than one single life alone, all those Midanna who followed me, all the Hosta lying in capture, those were 


the lives which would be forfeit should I fail. The other clans of Midanna would enter battle leaderless 
and would fall, leaving none to aid the Hosta at battle's end. So many lives looking to one, and the 
possessor of that one sat crouched upon the stone of a way, trembling from a punishment justly earned, 
bewailing the loss of males as though she were city slave-woman. In full disgust I rose from the crouch, 
taking my bow with me, feeling the weight of the sword which hung at my side, the comfort of the 
presence of the dagger in my leg bands. It came to me then that my life sign had not been about my neck 
when I had faced Chaldrin for my freedom, nor had it been there during the battle in which I had stood 
with Aysayn and the other males. Mida alone had watched over her warrior, and now a task had been 
given me which I would see to-and after the task would there be opportunity to mourn the loss of those 
who were denied me. I caught up the reins of the grazing kan and mounted quickly, then continued on 
toward the forests which awaited me. 

the lives which would be forfeit should I fail. The other clans of Midanna would enter battle leaderless 
and would fall, leaving none to aid the Hosta at battle's end. So many lives looking to one, and the 
possessor of that one sat crouched upon the stone of a way, trembling from a punishment justly earned, 
bewailing the loss of males as though she were city slave-woman. In full disgust I rose from the crouch, 
taking my bow with me, feeling the weight of the sword which hung at my side, the comfort of the 
presence of the dagger in my leg bands. It came to me then that my life sign had not been about my neck 
when I had faced Chaldrin for my freedom, nor had it been there during the battle in which I had stood 
with Aysayn and the other males. Mida alone had watched over her warrior, and now a task had been 
given me which I would see to-and after the task would there be opportunity to mourn the loss of those 
who were denied me. I caught up the reins of the grazing kan and mounted quickly, then continued on 
toward the forests which awaited me. 

The smell of water was faint yet unmistakable beneath the green of the trees, calling to my mount as 
clearly as to myself. The heat of the fey lay upon both of us, causing the very air to waver in the 
occasional bright shafts falling through the trees. The stream appeared abruptly beyond a line of bushes, 
running happily above its bed of rock and stone, spreading into a pool at the point we met it. I slid from 
my kan and bent to the clear blue gurgling below the bank, drank my fill, then stood and waited while my 
mount did the same. The undisturbed quiet of the forest filled me with great pleasure and a large measure 
of calm, both of which were welcome to one with many thoughts racing about within. I paced a step or 
two farther about the pool, considering it a pity I had not the time to bathe-then stopped with hand to 
sword and looked quickly about. There was sign at the pool, unexpected sign, and no longer did the 
forest seem serene. 

A hunter must be one with her surroundings, and Midanna were hunters as well as warriors. Again I 
tested what little wind there was, read the lellin song with sharpened ear, sought narrow-eyed for unusual 
movement. I took hand from hilt and again examined the sign upon the ground. Two had stopped at the 
pool no more than a pace from where I stood, one having had a leather sack within which was thrust 
various herbs, some which healed, some which flavored provender. The sack lay where it had been 
dropped, amid signs of a brief struggle, whereafter they who had knelt beside the pool to drink had been 
carried off. No indication of spilled blood marred the trail, therefore were those who had been carried off 
either taken alive or ended bloodlessly. The matter was no true concern of mine, yet is it wise to refrain 
from beginning a journey before being aware of that which may come behind. Again I looked about 
narrow-eyed, to be sure none awaited me unseen, then slowly followed the clear trail before me. 

More deeply into the woods was I led, at one point seeing that those I followed had halted briefly for 
some unknowable reason. Still did the ground sign indicate a double burden for each, and neither had put 
aside that burden. My pace, though cautious, was faster than theirs; the sign quickly grew fresher and 
more recent, necessitating even greater caution. When the birdsong all about stilled to occasional 
twittering and leaf-stirring I began to edge forward with no sounds of my own, quickly coming upon a 
point where words were to be heard, sounds alone with no meaning. Behind the word-sounds were 
whimperings and weepings in higher voices, confirming the tale the ground sign had given hint of: those 


who spoke were male, those who wept female. Another three paces took me to the very edge of a 
sizable clearing, wherein stood and lay more folk than I had anticipated. The thickened brush hid me 
easily from their eyes, yet were their words now wholly intelligible. 

who spoke were male, those who wept female. Another three paces took me to the very edge of a 
sizable clearing, wherein stood and lay more folk than I had anticipated. The thickened brush hid me 
easily from their eyes, yet were their words now wholly intelligible. 

"These two would have seen more adequately to our needs at the beginning of our hunt," said a second, a 
male with hair as red as Mehrayn's, casting an annoyed glance toward the largest knot of males in the 
clearing. "With the easing of their wounds, they begin to look upon our captures with an eye toward 
sharing. They seem unacquainted with the laws under which we live." 

"And with their numbers greater than ours, it seems unlikely that we shall be able to adequately instruct 
them," said the first, sourly. "I for one, however, having travelled so far with so little to show for it, have 
no intention of giving over that which is mine. Should they wish wenches of their own, they may hunt for 
them as we have." 

"They claim the status of warriors, and therefore feel themselves exempt from the need to hunt," said a 
third, a male as light-haired as the first, whose tone was as sour as the other's. "By the blessing of the 
Serene Oneness, we now have wenches enough for ourselves; I will no more share mine than Ramsarn 
will share his. How do you mean to see to this, Gengan?" 

"I know not," sighed the red-haired male, he who had been named Gengan. "Were it possible to take the 
wenches and depart unnoticed, I would do so immediately. And yet those warriors are cousins to us, far 
from their homes and wounded from the battle which was joined with those of the dark god's legions. 
May we in honor abandon them in their need, when they have done no more than look upon our 
wenches? How might we face the Serene Oneness in prayer, if we were to . . . " 

"Ho, Gengan, bring them closer so that we may all see them," called a male from the scowled-upon knot, 
stepping forward with two others close upon his heels. A full five hands in number were these other 
males, all marked with wounds from recent battle, six of their number so badly taken that they lay 
unmoving upon pelts with others in attendance upon them. The four who had spoken not far from me 
turned toward the male who had shouted, little of friendliness to be seen in the movement. 

"We will be pleased to share sight of our good fortune with you, Nobain," said this Gengan, an easy 
heartiness to be heard in his voice. "The Serene Oneness has smiled upon us and we now have six 
wenches, one for each man of our hunting pack. We six need never wench-hunt again." 

"You are men to be envied, Gengan," returned the male called Nobain, a sleekness to his tone as he and 
the others watched the fetching of the new females. The two were lifted from where they lay and carried 
into the center of the clearing, where they were again placed upon the grass. The four males stepped 
back so that the others might see the females, and a murmur of appreciation arose from the larger set, all 
of whom wore body cloths of gray. It had become clear that these were of the force which had done 
battle with Mehrayn and his males, a remnant which had run dishonorably. Sharply did my lip curl at 
thought of such cowardice, yet were these males, after all, with little else to be expected. All gray-clad 
males able to move rose to stand with the initial three, and much did their gazes show the heat of their 
desire. 


"These newest are fully as pleasing to the eye as those others," said the male Nobain, stepping forward to 
look down upon the females before raising his gaze to the males who stood above their captives. "As the 
Serene Oneness has seen fit to bless you so, surely you will not refuse to share your good fortune with 
those less fortunate, eh, cousin? We seek no more than their use till we part, and then they will again be 
yours alone. So little a thing . . ." 

"These newest are fully as pleasing to the eye as those others," said the male Nobain, stepping forward to 
look down upon the females before raising his gaze to the males who stood above their captives. "As the 
Serene Oneness has seen fit to bless you so, surely you will not refuse to share your good fortune with 
those less fortunate, eh, cousin? We seek no more than their use till we part, and then they will again be 
yours alone. So little a thing . . ." 

"We enter battle in the name of the Serene Oneness so that you and those like you might be free to 
wench-hunt!" returned this Nobain, his face cold as his hand caressed the hilt of his sword. "The laws do 
indeed say that no man may simply take the use of another man's women, therefore will we now have 
your freely given assent-else shall there be no living men to whom these wenches belong. What say 
you?" 

Ramsarn stood with hands closed tight, fury in the gaze he sent to Nobain, restrained by the hand of 
Gengan upon his shoulder and the clear knowledge that he looked upon the promise of death. Again was 
I struck by the strangeness that there were among males those who were unfamiliar enough with the use 
of a sword that they dared not face others with a hilt in their hands, else their lives would be undeniably 
ended. These males in colored body cloths must give over the use of their captured females to those in 
gray, for those in gray would easily best them. Greatly pleased was I that the dilemma of the hunting 
males was not mine to deal with, for yielding without battle was not countenanced by Midanna. As I had 
seen that which I had come to see I prepared to depart as silently as I had come-and then my gaze fell 
upon something I had not seen earlier. 

At the beginning of the heated words between the males Ramsarn and Nobain, two other males in 
colored body clothes had stepped forward from where they had been, allowing an unobstructed view of 
those who lay upon the grass behind them. Clearly were they the previous captures of the hunting males 
whom I had paid no mind-till my gaze had slid across them and then been sharply pulled back. One was 
a female of town males such as Islat, the town which had lain beneath the protection of the Hosta before 
the Hosta had been taken by the males of Ranistard. Small was the female, as small as the Sigurri 
females, also was she covered with cloth from neck to ankles, cloth which was soiled from long, hard 
use. Beside her lay a Midanna, one who continued to struggle against the leather which bound her, paying 
no heed to the snarls her struggles put in her long, pale hair. Clearly was I able to see that warrior, yet 
even had I no more than a glimpse I would have known Ilvin, the Hitta warrior who had so strongly 
wished to accompany me on my journey to the city of the Sigurri. I had refused to permit her to 
accompany me, yet had she clearly disobeyed and followed without permission, now reaping what 
disobedience had brought her. She lay in the capture of males, the reason for which was surely to be 
found lying next to her. 

Beside Ilvin lay the last of the captives, no longer struggling, yet not acquiescent. Two warriors of the 
Summa were they, one brown-haired, the other light-haired, yet not so light-haired as Ilvin. The blue of 
their clan coverings was not the blue of the Hitta, but it was difficult to see this beneath the soiling of the 
coverings. Only with Ilvin beside them was it possible to know the difference easily, and the doubt was 
surely what had drawn the young Hitta warrior. Had they been her clan sisters she could not have 
abandoned them in their capture, and her close approach to them had gotten her captured. The Summa 
and the town female had undoubtedly been taken by the hunting males in Midanna lands; Ilvin, hovering 
about the city of the Sigurri, awaiting my reappearance, had observed the arrival of the hunters and their 
captives, and then had been taken by them. Shame undoubtedly lay heavy on the shoulders of Ilvin, for 
none of the males seemed harmed, as though she had been taken with naught of battle to speak of. That 


she had been taken by cause of the presence of Summa rather than sister Hitta must truly gall, for Summa 
and Hitta were blood enemies. 

she had been taken by cause of the presence of Summa rather than sister Hitta must truly gall, for Summa 
and Hitta were blood enemies. 

The males' doings now concerned me, therefore did I listen closely when the male Gengan stepped 
forward. 

"There is little else we may do save agree," said he heatedly to the male Nobain. "You and your men may 
have use of our wenches, yet must you take care to cause them no harm. It must be clearly understood 
that they are ours, Nobain, and may not be kept beyond the time of our parting." 

" Certainly not, Gengan, certainly not," returned the male Nobain, a wide grin of pleasure taking him as 
those others in gray chuckled aloud. "We have little use for wenches save in our furs, therefore shall they 
be returned to you at the time of our parting. Now shall we continue on our way, to put a greater 
distance between us and those demons of Sigurr. Should they discover us here, so near to their city, we 
will none of us have a use for wenches." 

At his word the other males all turned from him, those in gray hurrying to obey, those of the smaller set 
reluctantly doing the same. There were opened packs to be closed, provender to be kept or thrown 
away, kand to be brought out, wounded to be mounted. With great care I returned as I had come, 
reentering the forest and making for the stream where my kan had been left, frustrated that I was not able 
merely to step within the clearing and challenge the males. Their numbers were far too great for a single 
warrior to attempt, so I could only skulk about, awaiting a moment when the three Midanna might be 
freed. That sat badly with me, but it was all I might do. 

My kan awaited me where I had left him, calmly cropping the grass beside the stream, my bow lying not 
far from where he stood. The herb-gathering bag dropped by the Sigurri females also lay where it had 
been left, and quickly did I take it up and empty it of what herbs had been gathered. The bag was a large 
one, and once carefully rinsed within the stream, it did well holding what water I would require on my 
new journey. In following the males, I would have little time to seek out the ponds and streams of the 
forest, which the heat of the land would cause me to require. Best I carry water with me, and try instead 
to free my warriors. 

No more than two hands of reckid passed before I was prepared to depart, yet were the males I 
followed no different from the balance of their ilk. Nearly a hin was it before all were mounted and away, 
the wounded tied to their kand, the captive females each ridden before a male in colored body cloth. He 
who held Ilvin was the male Ramsarn, and much did the fury burn high within her that the male dared to 
fondle her breasts as they moved with their set through the trees. Her wrists pulled at the leather which 
bound her as she struggled, yet did her movement do no more than put a grin upon the face of the male 
touching her. Well punished for her disobedience would the warrior Ilvin be, and not soon prepared to 
repeat that disobedience. 

The hind passed with little save movement to fill them, yet did I, at one point, find a pleasant distraction. 
Males in gray were sent out to hunt, and in that way become mine. One by one I put a shaft in each, 


paused only long enough to cut the shaft free, then continued on to the next till all five had been left for the 
children of the wild. In such a manner did I reduce the number of those to be faced, and also bring 
hunger to those who remained. That Midanna warriors rode with them mattered not; Midanna warriors 
would sooner hunger than take provender from their captors. 

paused only long enough to cut the shaft free, then continued on to the next till all five had been left for the 
children of the wild. In such a manner did I reduce the number of those to be faced, and also bring 
hunger to those who remained. That Midanna warriors rode with them mattered not; Midanna warriors 
would sooner hunger than take provender from their captors. 

When I returned to the clearing the males had chosen after seeing to my kan, the nilno had been skinned 
and set upon a large spit to roast. Two of the males in gray turned the spit, inattentively however. Silently 
I moved through the line of males guarding the camp, approached as near as I might, and then was able 
to see what held their attention. As the travels of the fey were done and the provender not yet ready, the 
males were amusing themselves with their captives. 

The whimpers of the two Sigurri females and the town female reached me where I crouched at the edge 
of the clearing, no sound save struggle coming from the three Midanna. All six had been brought to the 
center of the clearing by gray-clad males, those in colored body cloths following sullenly after. The six 
captives struggled against the strength of the males who held them as they were brought before the male 
Nobain. He looked with great pleasure upon them, only turning as the male Gengan addressed him. 

"Your word was given that no harm would come to our wenches," said Gengan, the others of his males 
stiffly astand at his back. "Is this the manner in which your word is kept, Nobain?" 

"Indeed do I seek to keep my word," said Nobain, grinning. "These wenches must serve a large number 
of men this darkness, therefore must they be prepared for sustained eagerness. You who use them first 
will have no more eagerness than those who use them last." 

"Your words hold no meaning for us!" snapped Ramsarn, he who had held Ilvin before him. "If we are to 
use our wenches first, for what reason have they been brought before you? Are you so foolish as to think 
we shall perform here, for your edification and entertainment?" 

"You need not tremble in fear at thought of lost privacy, man," Nobain replied laughingly, despite 
Ramsarn's anger. "I have had the wenches brought here so that they might be treated before your use of 
them. Such treatment will enhance the pleasure of your own use as well as ours, and as the wenches are 
yours, you men may do the honors." 

"We would know what-treatment you speak of," said Gengan, eyeing the small leather sack which was 
then being given to Nobain. "There are few enough wenches about in these parts, that to harm these 
would he . . ." 

"This sack contains a salve made from the bulb of the gimba plant," said Nobain, as he held the leather 
sack high. "When once these wenches have had it spread within them, they will desire no more than the 
use of men. This desire will last for hind, and will allow each of us their eager use without their tears of 
attempted refusal. Would you prefer instead that they be taken till they wept?" 

The three city females seemed to know naught of the gimba plant, for city females also knew naught of 


the sthuvad drug used by warriors. From the gimba plant was our sthuvad drug derived, that drug which 
made it possible to use a male captive over and over again without loss of strength. Never had I heard of 
a salve having been made from it, that might extend its use to females. My left hand closed about my 
sword hilt where I crouched; a gesture as useless as the anger which gripped me. One alone could do 
naught against so many, no more than remain in place and witness the degradation of sisters. 

the sthuvad drug used by warriors. From the gimba plant was our sthuvad drug derived, that drug which 
made it possible to use a male captive over and over again without loss of strength. Never had I heard of 
a salve having been made from it, that might extend its use to females. My left hand closed about my 
sword hilt where I crouched; a gesture as useless as the anger which gripped me. One alone could do 
naught against so many, no more than remain in place and witness the degradation of sisters. 

"You are generous to allow us the salving of our own wenches," said Gengan, sardonically. "This 
generosity is unexpected. For what reason are you so eager to see us perform the task?" 

"Why, man, merely for the reason that the wenches are yours," replied Nobain, with feigned innocence. 
"What other reason might there be? Take the salve now and apply it, for we others would have our turns 
as soon as may be." 

"I think not," said Gengan, his decision joined grimly by the others. "We know not what you are about, 
Nobain, and we refuse to be gulled." 

"I am merely about an attempt at having this salve applied," said Nobain. "As it must be applied, who is 
to do it if you will not?" 

"We care not!" spat Ramsarn, as the males nodded with him. "Should you find the doing so necessary, 
you may do it!" 

"An excellent suggestion!" said Nobain at once, great laughter having taken him. "As I have your freely 
given permission, I shall do that very thing. See to their positioning, men. " 

The males in gray who held the captives gave voice to laughter of their own, the while they prepared the 
captives they held as they were commanded. Gengan and Ramsarn and the others, filled so greatly with 
fury that their skin paled, allowed themselves to be put to one side with no further words, knowing they 
had indeed been gulled. It had been in the mind of Nobain that they would not be permitted to touch their 
own captives, yet had he accomplished the doing without resort to sword threat. Their own suspicions 
had brought the males down, yet they saw the doing as other than their own. Now the male Nobain, had 
other things of greater interest to occupy his attention. 

Each of the captives had been put to her knees, wrists bound tightly behind, head bent to the ground by 
the fist tight in her hair. The male Nobain took himself first to the town female, clearly amused as he 
indicated that her long covering was to be raised. Whimpering quickly became protests of shock, yet was 
the town female unable to keep herself from being bared. The large hand of the male who held her 
stroked her bottom, causing her to voice agitated cries, and then did her cries sharpen to fear. The male 
Nobain had also put a hand to her, first having put the fingers of that hand within the sack he held. With 
screams and weeping did she attempt to dislodge him from her body, over and again twisting herself 
about; he, with deep laughter, thrust yet farther into her, the hand of the other male aiding him to retain his 
place. Slowly did he stroke about in her and as slowly withdrew, and then did he turn from her and took 
about himself. 

With purposeful steps did he approach the Summa, gazing from one bared bottom to the other, deeply 
amused that no sound came from the females. Struggle there was aplenty yet no sound, even as they 
were touched, first the darkhaired warrior, then the light. Their bodies each twisted about with the effort 
to rid themselves of him, yet were they no more successful than the town female. Each was filled well 
with the contents of the leather sack, and then were the Sigurri females approached. 


The clearing still rang with the screams of the two Sigurri females as the male Nobain at last reached Ilvin. 
The heat in his gaze was clear even in the fading light of the fey, and with much relish did he stroke his 
hand all about her, causing her to move in fury where she had been knelt. Her movement and fury caused 
greater amusement in the male, and much was she touched before his hand again dipped into the leather 
sack. 

The clearing still rang with the screams of the two Sigurri females as the male Nobain at last reached Ilvin. 
The heat in his gaze was clear even in the fading light of the fey, and with much relish did he stroke his 
hand all about her, causing her to move in fury where she had been knelt. Her movement and fury caused 
greater amusement in the male, and much was she touched before his hand again dipped into the leather 
sack. 

Bared teeth flashed briefly in the face of the male Ramsarn, the single forward step he had taken halted 
by the hand of Gengan upon his shoulder. Still were the males unwilling to face those who were 
gray-clad, even in the face of the laughter to be heard from Nobain. 

"One such as she must be taught a proper fear of men," said Nobain withdrawing from Ilvin and handing 
the leather sack to another. "Such teaching brings great amusement to one who does not himself fear the 
wench. For what reason have you not yet taught this wench to fear you, Ramsarn?" 

"The wench has been mine less than one full fey," said the male Ramsarn, with a growl. "Should I wish 
her fear I shall have it, as easily as any other man!" 

"The Serene Oneness teaches that we are to seek respect from our wenches, not fear," said the male 
Gengan cautiously, perhaps more to Ramsarn than Nobain. "Are we to liken ourselves to the followers of 
the beast god, those who will have naught save fearful service from their wenches? Are we not far better 
than they, in that we follow the teachings of one greater than their god?" 

"Are we not men as they are, with hungers like theirs which must be fed?" returned Nobain, sharply. "As 
we follow the true god, who may say that our desires are not his? Does he not know our desires, does he 
not know our beliefs and needs? Were these desires, beliefs and needs contrary to his wishes, would we 
have been accepted to raise sword in his name? It is you who follow a false path, man, and we who truly 
know our god, as he knows us! No true man will have respect from his wench, when he may, instead, 
have her fear! Should he be able to have her fear." 

Again did the gaze of Nobain fall upon the male Ramsarn, a male who seemed filled with less reason 
even than other males. With the eyes of the gray-clad male upon him his chin rose high, and sharply clear 
was the set of his jaw. 

"I am able to have the fear of any wench," said Ramsarn, "even a wench such as that. I shall take her 
now, and teach her deep fear." 

"She is not yet able to appreciate the lesson," said Nobain, a victorious glance at Gengan. At Ramsarn's 
words Gengan had left his former male's side, to stand stiffly silent with the others of his males, all 
stepping back from the male Ramsarn, who had chosen the stand of the gray-clad ones. "When once the 
salve has thrown her into a frenzy of need," said Nobain, "her fear will be deep and complete upon 
realizing that it is you she must look to for relief. Should you be uncertain, the place you must enter her is 
here." 

Amid the loud, howling laughter of the gray-clad males, Nobain again put a hand to Ilvin, again causing 
her to throw herself about. Ramsarn, deeply shamed before his men, threw himself forward with hand to 
hilt, clearly intent upon battle. Deeply flushed was the face of Ramsarn as his sword began to clear his 
scabbard, foolish, mindless rage blinding his eyes to the doings of Nobain. The second male had drawn 
at the first rushing steps of the other, and swiftly, before Ramsarn might raise his blade, leaped forward 
and cut the head from the first male. Deep red blood fountained into the deep red of the end of fey's light, 


and Ramsarn's body fell to Mida's sweet ground, soon to be one with it. 

and Ramsarn's body fell to Mida's sweet ground, soon to be one with it. 

The gray-clad males chuckled as Nobain wiped the smears from his sword upon the unmoving thigh of 
he who had been Ramsarn, then sheathed the weapon. Even I, who knew full well the lack of honor to 
be found among males, could scarcely credit the doings of the leader. Full clear had it been that the male 
Ramsarn could not have faced Nobain and been victorious; the youngest of my warriors would easily 
have fared better. No more than slaughter had the action been, Nobain cravenly refusing to face the other 
male in honest battle even for the brief moment Ramsarn would have stood against him. I gazed upon this 
male called warrior with hand closed tight about sword hilt, nearly ill with the need to ask his life of Mida, 
yet was there Ilvin and the Summa to consider. Little pleasure would have come to me, were I given 
Nobain's life at the cost of Ilvin's. 

In the moments I frothed in helpless rage, the craven Nobain had returned to Ilvin. Well was one able to 
see that it was she he had coveted, and for that reason had lured and slain the other male. Rarely did 
warriors bare blades over a male among the Midanna, for even a male who chose to follow a given 
warrior was shared among clan sisters when desire arose. Often had Midanna been called barbaric, yet 
never had I seen so barbaric a thing as two males at sword's point over a single female. The doing was 
entirely beyond reason, a thing to curl the lip of any warrior who witnessed it. 

At a gesture from Nobain, Ilvin was straightened upon her knees and turned about, so that she might see 
the remains of the male who had first claimed her. Nobain watched closely as my warrior looked about in 
great anger, something of a smile turning his lips, and then did he take a single step forward. 

"As you can see, wench," said he, "you have now become mine. Through battle prowess have I won you, 
and therefore shall you give me whatever pleasure I demand." 

"Battle prowess," said Ilvin with a snort of disdain. "Ever have I seen greater battle prowess even among 
our warriors-to-be. Should you wish to prove battle prowess, face me instead-if you dare." 

"You think to escape me by falling to my blade?" asked Nobain, greatly amused. "No, wench, you shall 
not escape my use, the use you will soon be in dire need of. When that need comes upon you, you will 
know me for your master; you will beg then, and pray I grant your pleading, yet perhaps I shall not. I 
may perhaps allow you to bear your need without relief, and only when it has passed put you to my use. 
You will then, perhaps, speak more respectfully to your master." 

Again did Ilvin make a sound of contempt, yet had Nobain already turned from her to look upon those in 
colored body cloths. The males stood all in a clump, silent and unmoving as though they, too, had taken 
the edge of a blade. The touch of Nobain's gaze seemed to draw their attention yet did they make no 
effort to speak before him. This he noted with a smile of satisfaction, then gestured to the others of the 
captive females. 

"First use of those wenches is yours, I believe," said he, full pleased with the silent, fear-filled attention he 
had from those he so clearly looked down upon. "You will need to spend very few reckid upon them 
before you are able to take them to your furs, for the salve touches quickly. When once you have finished 
with them, you will then be responsible for the preparing of the nilno, which my men and I mean to take 
part of at the end of our-entertainment. Be very sure our provender is not allowed to burn." 

Coarse laughter sounded about the clearing, low yet speaking well of the consternation felt by the hand of 
males in colored body cloths. Had they wished it, they might have drawn the blades hung at their sides, 


yet no other choice had they been given save, perhaps, to die. Warriors, in their place, would have 
chosen the glory of death in battle much the sooner, yet these males had not the stuff of warriors within 
them. I knew not what use those males might be of in any manner save as the very slaves they emulated, 
yet was not surprised to learn that they would continue to be allowed the use of their captives. Males 
have a fondness for slaves, most especially ones which need not be faced before they might be chained. 

yet no other choice had they been given save, perhaps, to die. Warriors, in their place, would have 
chosen the glory of death in battle much the sooner, yet these males had not the stuff of warriors within 
them. I knew not what use those males might be of in any manner save as the very slaves they emulated, 
yet was not surprised to learn that they would continue to be allowed the use of their captives. Males 
have a fondness for slaves, most especially ones which need not be faced before they might be chained. 

"No," she whispered, looking upward yet shrinking back where she knelt. "Gengan, you are a man of 
sensitivity and patience and understanding; you cannot mean to degrade me as those monsters ask! You 
must find a place of privacy for us as you have previously done, and there I will give you all you desire. 
You will not need to ask, not limit your appetites, nor even consider my wishes in the matter. I will be 
yours entirely!" 

"So, you have previously begged her favors, eh, Gengan?" said Nobain, again bringing laughter to his 
males and the flush of shame to the victim of his words. "Have you never been told that a man requires 
naught of consent from a wench? Have you never been shown how easily the heat may be raised in the 
center of one such as she? Perhaps I speak idly, for perhaps you have not yet even had the bit. Have you 
tasted her?" 

"She is now my woman, and I have done with her what a man ever does with his woman," replied 
Gengan, his speech stiff with insult. "That I have also acted as the Serene Oneness demands is no shame, 
rather is it an example you and your-warriors would do well to emulate. The pleasure brought a man 
thereby cannot be equalled." 

"I do not doubt that such pleasure cannot be equalled," returned Nobain, still amused. "What man, used 
to far greater pleasure, would seek to lessen his enjoyment? There are those, I am told, who find 
unmatched bliss in constant denial, however. Is it possible, Gengan, that you are one such as that?" 

"Blessed is he who seeks consent from his woman!" shouted the male Gengan, fists clenched and color 
high at the raucous laughter which surrounded him. "Should a woman be taken against her wishes, the 
Serene Oneness will frown upon the man's efforts and give him no response from her! You who have 
never had true response cannot know the unmatched quality of it!" 

"I believe the quality you speak of consists entirely of whining, complaints and denial," said Nobain with a 
snort of derision, folding his arms as he looked upon the other male. "Already have you had the woman 
deny you, for you were to have warmed her, not merely approached her. The Serene Oneness sneers 
upon a male who fears to intrude upon the will of a use wench, and clearly do you show yourself to be 
one who has earned his disapproval. See now the doings of one who has been smiled upon." 

A nod from Nobain brought a gray-clad male forth, one who was large and light-haired, and who smiled 
in anticipation. A wide hand in the chest of Gengan brusquely pushed the other male aside, and then was 
the gray-clad one astand before the town female. The female whimpered in fear and shook her head as 
she looked upward at this larger male, then did she attempt to cringe back when he crouched before 
her. 


"I beg you not to touch me before all these men!" she blurted at once, her voice uneven and filled with 
great trembling. "You must take one of those others, instead, for they are shameless and far less than I. 
They are disgusting as well, and will surely squirm in great pleasure at your touch, which I shall not. You 
may do no more than force yourself upon me, which I shall accept if it is done in privacy. Surely you 
would prefer the use of a woman of quality in private, to her useless humiliation in public? It is clear there 
are few women of quality in this area; do you not covet the freely given use of one?" 

"I beg you not to touch me before all these men!" she blurted at once, her voice uneven and filled with 
great trembling. "You must take one of those others, instead, for they are shameless and far less than I. 
They are disgusting as well, and will surely squirm in great pleasure at your touch, which I shall not. You 
may do no more than force yourself upon me, which I shall accept if it is done in privacy. Surely you 
would prefer the use of a woman of quality in private, to her useless humiliation in public? It is clear there 
are few women of quality in this area; do you not covet the freely given use of one?" 

"There are no more than two qualities to be found in wenches," said he, reaching toward the cloth 
covering the legs of the female. "There are those wenches a man wishes to use, and those he does not. 
All else matters not in the least, no more than the wishes of the wench herself. So you have never 
squirmed in pleasure, eh, wench?" 

"No, do not bare me so!" choked the female, attempting to back upon her knees, yet were her words as 
useless as her attempted movement. All within the clearing, the female captives as well as the males, 
watched with interest as the large, light-haired male raised the female's covering well above the center of 
her thighs, then put his hands to the fastenings of the upper part of her garment. Amid many "Ohhh's!" of 
mortification were her breasts revealed, large and firm and scarcely a shame to be hidden beneath cloth. 
The oddness of town males was easily matched by their females; despite the fact that her sister captives 
were equally as bare-breasted, the female writhed and sobbed in humiliation with the thrusting back of 
the cloth covering her. The male Gengan continued to stand with fists clenched, yet had his gaze been 
drawn to those breasts. When the hands of the light-haired male touched them, drawing a ragged gasp 
from the female as her flesh hardened, the male in colored body cloth wet his lips with his tongue and 
rubbed hard at his body with one hand, clearly unaware of the grimace which covered his face. 

Slow moments passed as the town female suffered her breasts to be touched, her humiliation keen, yet 
not so keen that she was able to remain perfectly unmoving. When, at last, she was forced to shift where 
she knelt, her earlier discomfort increasing, the male who crouched before her took his hands from her 
breasts and grasped her thighs. 

"You are a wench I care to use," said he, forcing her thighs wider before putting a hand to her. "First I 
will see you squirm, and then I will hear you beg." 

Again coarse laughter sounded as the female gasped with widening eyes, her body greeting the intrusion 
of the male in a manner she had not expected. Much did it seem that she had intended to remain 
unmoving in her shaming, yet did she immediately begin twisting about in response to the touch upon her. 

"No-do not-I cannot bear it!" she gasped, wide-eyed and bent nearly double above the hand between 
her thighs, her bound arms attempting to battle the leather which held her. "The fire-it burns so high-it 
grows from naught and consumes me-No! You may not do this! No!" 

"I may not touch you so?" asked the male before her, greatly amused. "I may not tickle about your 
softness and rub awake the warmth? Very well, then, I shall cease." 

With a final touch did the male then withdraw his hand from her, yet was the gesture scarcely the comfort 
expected by the female. Now her need had grown high, and quickly did it grow even greater. The female 
continued to move as though touched deeply by a male, in shock descended and disbelief. 

"It will not cease!" she choked, writhing where she knelt, unaware of the laughter about her. "I cannot 
bear it as it is, and still it rises! I must be eased, I shall die if I am not eased! Please, I must be eased!" 


"You squirm well for one who will not squirm," observed the male before her, again touching her breast. 
"You have squirmed, and now you must beg. Beg to be used, wench, beg to be used here, upon this very 
spot." 

"You squirm well for one who will not squirm," observed the male before her, again touching her breast. 
"You have squirmed, and now you must beg. Beg to be used, wench, beg to be used here, upon this very 
spot." 

The male's laughter came silent amid the screams of the female as he straightened from his crouch and 
reached to his body cloth, yet did a form suddenly appear from the lengthening shadows to thrust him 
aside as he had earlier thrust aside another. That other was Gengan, body cloth already opened, and 
swiftly did he fell upon the town female, throw her to her back, and thrust deep within her. The screams 
of the female beat against the ears of all within hearing, a nerve-tearing sound in the desperation of it, yet 
was he who had been thrust aside unaffected by it. The male's lips drew back in a snarl of rage, his fist 
clenched tight as his body moved toward the wildly pummeling Gengan; however he first glanced toward 
his leader. Nobain showed deep satisfaction with the doings of Gengan, and disapproval for the anger of 
his male. Gengan was not to be halted in his doing, and though the male in gray grew angrier still, he 
made no further movement toward the other. 

Much had I hoped that I might somehow find the males so deeply taken with their pleasure that they, too, 
might be taken, yet was the hope an idle one. All of the captives, the sneering Summa, proud Ilvin, the 
two Sigurri females, all were soon writhing to the urgings of the salve placed within them, the Sigurri 
screaming wildly, the Midanna softly moaning. Though Nobain had spoken of leaving Ilvin untouched in 
her need, he quickly found himself unable to deny the need of his own body amidst the use of the other 
captives. Ilvin writhed slowly at his feet, eyes closed and body aflame, aware of naught save the agony 
she fought uselessly against, and the male was able to bear the sight of her no longer. Swiftly did he go to 
his knees above her, inflamed himself even more greatly with the touch of his hands to her body, and then 
was he preparing himself to enter her. I looked about, saw that those males not in possession of a captive 
remained alert to that which occurred about them, and abandoned the hope that I might somehow free 
my Midanna. Reluctantly yet with great relief, I left my place among the bushes and shadows and 
returned to where I had left my kan tethered. 

A low whicker greeted my arrival, and I went to stroke my kan, at the same time attempting to still the 
wildly raging thoughts filling my head. My hand ached for the hilt of my sword, the need for spilling blood 
was a taste in my mouth which thickened my tongue, and calm was impossible. To be forced to leave my 
warriors as captives to males! To be unable to free them though I, myself, rode free and armed! 

I turned from my kan and began stalking about, as helpless to halt the motion as to cease heaping abuse 
upon my own head. Upon learning that Midanna warriors were held captive to males, I had made the 
decision that I would see them freed; much good had the decision done them, as much as thought I, too, 
were bound beside them. Had I had even three or four warriors to stand with me, I would have attacked; 
to stand alone against such numbers would have meant certain death. Patience was necessary; I must 
await what came. Perhaps, should Mida desire strongly enough that I continue on with the task she had 
given me, the assistance of her aid might well be forthcoming. With Mida's aid my sword alone would 
suffice, and welcome indeed would be the sight of enemy blood upon its edges. 

Although frustrated, I found a hunter's calm, enough so that I might return to my kan for a cut of the small 
matrig I had slain and skinned during the fey's ride. The greatest part of the heat had fled with Mida's 
light, leaving behind a pleasant cool breeze. I sat before the tree which stood nearest my kan, took a 
tasty mouthful of raw matrig, then leaned back to chew. Many of the words of the males had confused 
me ever since I had first begun traveling among males. 


Both the male Nobain and the male Gengan had spoken of their god and yet, had they not called that god 
by the same name, one might easily have believed they discussed two entities rather than one. Each saw 
his god as being like unto himself, the one seeing diffidence and halting uncertainty, the other seeing 
aggression and impatient insistances. How it was possible for each to see so different a thing I knew not, 
nor even the why of their views differing so greatly from those of Ceralt and his brothers. Those males, 
too, paid homage to that which was called the Serene Oneness, yet were Ceralt and his brothers unlike 
those who had once been Sigurri. Was he as Mida and Sigurr, this Serene Oneness, or in some manner 
entirely unlike them? Again and again was my path entwined with that of those who followed this Serene 
Oneness, males who brought pain to warriors both from without and within. The lash and slave chains in 
Bellinard, capture and the lash in Ranistard, shaming and capture with Ceralt among his Belsayah-all 
more easily withstood than those feelings drawn forth by Ceralt and the memory of his arms. Wise indeed 
had Mida been to deny all males to her Midanna save those who were taken for use. Best would be to 
avoid them entirely, yet how was that possible when three Midanna now lay in the clutches of yet another 
set of them? 

Both the male Nobain and the male Gengan had spoken of their god and yet, had they not called that god 
by the same name, one might easily have believed they discussed two entities rather than one. Each saw 
his god as being like unto himself, the one seeing diffidence and halting uncertainty, the other seeing 
aggression and impatient insistances. How it was possible for each to see so different a thing I knew not, 
nor even the why of their views differing so greatly from those of Ceralt and his brothers. Those males, 
too, paid homage to that which was called the Serene Oneness, yet were Ceralt and his brothers unlike 
those who had once been Sigurri. Was he as Mida and Sigurr, this Serene Oneness, or in some manner 
entirely unlike them? Again and again was my path entwined with that of those who followed this Serene 
Oneness, males who brought pain to warriors both from without and within. The lash and slave chains in 
Bellinard, capture and the lash in Ranistard, shaming and capture with Ceralt among his Belsayah-all 
more easily withstood than those feelings drawn forth by Ceralt and the memory of his arms. Wise indeed 
had Mida been to deny all males to her Midanna save those who were taken for use. Best would be to 
avoid them entirely, yet how was that possible when three Midanna now lay in the clutches of yet another 
set of them? 

CH 2. The new task-and the dishonor of cowards 

The new fey was bright and golden, shining through the green of the forest, filled with the joy of 
continuing life for all save those who rode as captives to males-and she who followed. Though I had been 
loath to witness the continuing shaming of my warriors, I visited the camp of the males again, seeking an 
opportunity to free my sisters, only to find that the guard males remained alert and the captives lay in a 
motionless stupor, no more than occasional moans to be heard from those who had been used so 
harshly. Easily might I have slit the throats of those who stood guard, sending them one by one to Mida's 
chains; had Ilvin and the Summa been capable of movement of their own, quickly would I have done so. 
With my Midanna as they were, however, the slaying of the males would have done no more than alert 
the others, so I had to return clean-bladed to my own camp, where the sharp movements of my fury 
would only be heard by the children of the wild. 

The new light had brought awakening to the camp, and a great look of pleasure to the males. With much 
laughter did they speak of their prowess to the darkness, few caring that the town female and Sigurri 
females wept raggedly, the three Midanna silent yet with blood-fury in their eyes. Gengan sat apart from 
his males, looking defeated, speaking to none and none speaking to him. The other males in colored 
body cloth had done much as Gengan had, yet did they cluster one near the other, speaking in low tones, 
attempting to laugh as freely and fully as they in gray body cloths. Gengan alone seemed taken in some 
manner; though I knew not what ailed the male, Nobain looked upon him with knowing eyes, and smiled 
his smile of triumph. 

When all in the camp had been fed and the balance of the nilno packed away with the other possessions 
of the set, the males moved on. Again were the captives ridden before certain of the males, yet were 
these males of Nobain's set rather than those of Gengan. The males in colored body cloths disliked the 
loss of their captives, yet none would speak of the matter to his own self, and Gengan spoke not at all. 
The male rode alone in the midst of those who were gray-clad, seemingly heedless of all that occurred 
about him. Ilvin rode with no other than Nobain, the constant, grating presence of his hands upon her 


bringing an unheard growl to her movements. 

bringing an unheard growl to her movements. 

Much did the heat of the fey touch me with the slickness of sweat as I rode through the forest, following 
the track of the first of the three. The male rode with little care, looking only for provender, heedless of 
predators. Much sign was there all about that lenga prowled those woods, causing me to keep bow in 
hand and shafts within easy reach, yet the male either saw not or cared not. Large was the lenga, and 
beautiful even in the eyes of those it hunted, its long, silky fur highly prized by males of town and cities; 
nevertheless was it swift and terrible in attack, its claws and teeth difficult to avoid, often taking down 
those who hunted it even as it died. The male who rode some distance before me had strung his bow, yet 
was it across his back rather than in his hand, easily reached should prey be sighted, not so easily 
reached should he become prey. Many males were fools in the forest, I knew, and these gray-clad males 
appeared to be greater fools than most. 

Movement ahead of the male caught his attention; he reached for his bow, but his prey was quickly gone, 
leaving him with bow in hand and naught to do with it save grasp its well-bound grip. Angrily, then, did 
the male put heels to his kan, sending it forward again in search of that which would stand and hold its 
place till a shaft reached it; instead did my shaft reach his back, knocking him from his leather seat as the 
life flew from him with a grunt. 

Startled, his kan leapt away into the forest as he who had been of Nobain's set lay face down and 
unmoving, the red seeping out to cover him, the shaft I wished the return of standing unbroken from his 
flesh. That the deed I performed was distasteful was of no moment; sooner would I have faced each of 
the males with swords, yet I had not the time to offer them mock warrior courtesy. They, being males 
and naught of the true warrior sort, would have soiled the gesture, likely angering Mida yet further. I slid 
from the back of my kan and tied it to a tree. Best would be to reclaim my shaft quickly, before the scent 
of spilled blood drew the lenga to the place, then continue on to the next target for my bow. 

I crouched beside the slain male and applied my dagger to the flesh about my shaft, digging deep to free 
the metal head, attempting to work as quickly as I might. A lenga screamed not far off, voicing its hunger 
and boasting of its presence upon the hunt, and I shook my head with impatience. 

"Neatly done," said a voice from very near, causing me to look up quickly up. A male stood with drawn 
sword less than two paces from me, one of the remaining two who had been sent from the set by 
Nobain. Not so tall as others was this male, yet were his shoulders and chest broad, his arms firmly 
muscled, his body prepared for attack. Light of hair and eye was he as well, the light eyes of him happily 
taking me in. 

"More than neatly done," said he, gleefully, his point not far from me where I crouched. "Follow after, 
plant a shaft, retrieve the shaft, then continue on to the next. The beasts of the forest will see to the body, 
and should the remains be found afterward, there will be no indication of attack. Nobain thought the 
others deserters, yet did he clearly do them an injustice. They did not desert, they died, and had I not 
been set to watch the two who hunted for us this fey, again would we have been misled." 

The male chuckled at his own words as though he discussed the fate of those who were his enemies 


rather than brothers. His gaze continued to move all about me, seemingly pleased and amused at that he 
saw. 

rather than brothers. His gaze continued to move all about me, seemingly pleased and amused at that he 
saw. 

Truly eager was the male for that which he intended, so eager that he stepped the nearer, bringing his 
point closer to where I crouched. My dagger moved swiftly in an arc against his blade. I had intended to 
drop my dagger and draw my sword, yet the male, far more alert than I had anticipated, jumped 
forward, bringing his sword very near. Never before had I faced a sword with a dagger, and although I 
again beat aside his sword, the male chuckled. He, as well as I, knew I could not long keep myself 
untouched with only a dagger, but I was not allowed to arm myself further. 

Closely did the male press me as I moved about among the trees and bushes, his point seeking to disarm 
rather than slay, yet unavoidable for all of that. My dagger moved without stop, keeping his sharpened 
metal from my flesh, the frustration growing as sharp within me that I was able to do no more than 
defend. The heat of the fey brought the moisture forth from my body, rolling it into my eyes to burn there, 
but it affected the male as well. Remorselessness showed from his eyes as he continued to press me, 
seeking to strike the dagger from my hand or score my body seriously enough to disarm me, in no 
manner willing to be denied my use, most especially not by allowing me escape. It was his intention to 
take me as the others had been taken, my intention to keep from being done so. Too often had I been 
made slave to them; not again would I be forced to such use, not while breath remained in my body and 
strength in my arm. 

A hand of reckid passed with the sword of the male pursuing me, the blade of my dagger flashing 
goldenly in the occasional shafts of light which found their way through the leaves above. I had 
discovered the difficulty and strain of constant backing, yet had it proven impossible to merely take a 
stand and hold it against attack. The blade of the male's sword struck hard against my dagger, causing 
both weapons to sing, his effort an attempt to break my blade and thereby disarm me. The shock of the 
contact flared through my arm, causing me to once again curse the strength of males, yet no more than 
that occurred. Much did I believe that another weapon would indeed have snapped at the calculatingly 
delivered blow, a weapon made by mortal hands and skill; the blade I wielded was goddess-made, and 
clearly proof against such destruction. The spirit within me soared at the thought, so high that I briefly 
attempted attack upon the male, yet was the attempt without possibility of success. My considerably 
shorter blade was laughingly struck aside, a sharpened metal blur sprang from my wrist, and again 
defense was my sole recourse. 

It came to me of a sudden that I no longer moved in Mida's cause, in truth that my actions were contrary 
to the most basic beliefs held by Midanna. For one who had been given a task by Mida to turn aside 
from it to aid others, even sisters, was to spurn the will of the goddess. Had I thought Mida angered with 
me previously, how might she now be considered? 

"Might that be consternation to be seen in your eyes, wench?" said the male, laughter in his voice as his 
blade snicked close to my middle. "How, you have till now avoided each tree and bush behind you I 
know not, yet do I know that my point is soon to be avoided no more. When that time has come, you 
will find a good deal more than consternation." 

I growled in reply but the male was only amused. Jalav would be his when he triumphed, his to use as he 


wished, his to force shame and pain upon in the manner of all of his ilk. Again I struck his point from me, 
and then another growl sounded, from a throat other than my own. The male heard naught, nor did the 
scent reach him, the scent which spoke of the nearing presence of a lenga. Nearly did I whirl from the 
male to search the greenery with weapon held before me, yet the dagger would have done naught against 
the lenga, even if I could chance turning my back on the male which I could not. Much did it seem that 
Mida now stood with my enemies, as punishment for my disobedience, yet are Midanna taught that the 
truth of a matter, such as Mida's will, may not be known till the final blow is struck. Had Mida's face 
turned from me, I would surely find the final darkness; had it not, the insanity of the ploy which had 
suddenly come to me would take the male instead. 

wished, his to force shame and pain upon in the manner of all of his ilk. Again I struck his point from me, 
and then another growl sounded, from a throat other than my own. The male heard naught, nor did the 
scent reach him, the scent which spoke of the nearing presence of a lenga. Nearly did I whirl from the 
male to search the greenery with weapon held before me, yet the dagger would have done naught against 
the lenga, even if I could chance turning my back on the male which I could not. Much did it seem that 
Mida now stood with my enemies, as punishment for my disobedience, yet are Midanna taught that the 
truth of a matter, such as Mida's will, may not be known till the final blow is struck. Had Mida's face 
turned from me, I would surely find the final darkness; had it not, the insanity of the ploy which had 
suddenly come to me would take the male instead. 

The lenga snarled and tore a bloody mouthful from the thigh of the male as it gazed arrogantly toward me, 
but the male was well beyond agony. He lay sprawled upon his back, his throat torn out, looking 
shocked even through the blood which covered his face and hair. The sword which he had wielded with 
such glee lay not far from his outstretched arm, its blade gleaming silver in the warm light, totally 
untouched by the blood of his attacker. The lenga had taken its prey without sustaining injury of its own, 
its snarl half purr as it tore again into the carcass it rested upon, its gaze clearly challenging me to come 
closer in attack. Faintly I smiled, asking Mida in my heart to make the lenga know the male was my gift 
without challenge, then did I slip behind the bush I stood near and quickly take myself from the vicinity, 
before the lenga had quieted its immediate hunger and turned interested eyes toward other available prey. 
In the past I had hunted lenga and had slain them, yet not without spear or bow before they had closed 
with me. To allow a lenga to close with you is an action fit only for males, one which is indulged in no 
more than once. After that is the lenga left, the hunter no more than bones beneath Mida's light. 

My kan was nearly beside himself with the fear of hunting lenga, and was unable to pull loose from the 
tree I had tied him to. I calmed him somewhat and then mounted and rode from there, feeling great relief 
and something of confusion. Though much of me was bruised from my roll across the ground, and my 
back was gouged where the point of the male had reached me as I threw myself from in front of him, 
both the attack of the male and the attack of the lenga had been handily survived. Clearly did Mida's 
shield continue to stand firmly before me, and this despite the goddess' anger with me. Much had I 
doubted that this would be so, and even in the face of it could conceive of no explanation to account for 
it. Perhaps Mida was loath to release me as her chosen, therefore I rode with Mida's blessing, yet could 
not consider the blessing unending; best would be to free the captured Midanna as quickly as possible, 
before that blessing was no more. 


With Mida's blessing, then, did I find and follow the track of the third male, one who had not sought prey 
which would stand and await the shaft of a mighty hunter. A large nilno had fallen to his bow, much in the 
same manner that he fell to mine. This time was I able to retrieve my shaft without difficulty, afterward 
taking a large enough cut of the nilno to allow me to feed my fill. The male had hunted so that I might 
feed, and this, together with the knowledge of Mida's smile, allowed my spirits to rise. 

With Mida's blessing, then, did I find and follow the track of the third male, one who had not sought prey 
which would stand and await the shaft of a mighty hunter. A large nilno had fallen to his bow, much in the 
same manner that he fell to mine. This time was I able to retrieve my shaft without difficulty, afterward 
taking a large enough cut of the nilno to allow me to feed my fill. The male had hunted so that I might 
feed, and this, together with the knowledge of Mida's smile, allowed my spirits to rise. 

Again did the males remain alert during the darkness, therefore did I reluctantly take a few hind of sleep 
to chase away my weariness. With the new light were the captives roughly shaken awake and dragged 
stumbling to those they would ride with; only then was it discovered that he named Gengan was no longer 
to be found in the camp. That his kan was gone as well kept the males from looking about themselves, 
yet was it a near thing. Well prepared was I to fall back to keep from being discovered, yet that way I 
couldn't note what hunters were sent forth. Nearly did I call down the curse of Mida upon the head of the 
male Gengan, he who had used the town female, yet was the effort proven unnecessary. The gray-clad 
males shrugged in an uncaring manner over his departure, the males in colored body cloths seemed 
disturbed and uneasy, and all took to their kand and resumed their journey. 

Perhaps two hind passed before it became clear that no males would that fey ride out to hunt. I knew not 
the reason for such a lack; Nobain failed to speak of the matter aloud, and none of the other males 
questioned him upon it. With Mida's light at its highest all partook of the dried string meat which the 
males carried, yet none paused to hunt. The town female and two Sigurri females were given small bits of 
the meat when they begged it, yet were the Midanna given naught save gulps from a water skin, these 
being forced upon them. Ilvin and the Summa showed no more than hatred and scorn for the males, a far 
cry from the groveling the males desired from them, therefore were those three captives sneeringly left 
with the hunger upon them. It had not come to the males that Midanna do not feed upon the leavings of 
enemies; had they known the truth, they would undoubtedly have given the warriors pain. 

Brief indeed was the halt for provender, yet did it seem to bring joy to those in colored body cloths. Low 
laughter and eager smiles were theirs upon the resumption of the journey, as though a great burden had 
been lifted from them. I, myself, felt no lightening of a burden, for the gray-clad males rode close to one 
another in their set, two by two as they had not done previously, all alert, all well bunched. My shafts 
fairly hummed in their quiver, eager to fly, yet no sensible target presented itself. Mida! The fury and 


frustration which gripped me then was unspeakable, well nigh to the point of sending me forward with 
sword hilt in fist, to lay all about at what targets I might reach. The need for the glory of battle gripped me 
fiercely; had I not had a Mida-given task before me, had my Midanna not been awaiting my return, were 
there not captives to be freed- So many things bound me that I frothed with near madness in the chains of 
them. To ride free and armed is at times no more than an enslavement. A warrior without freedom is a 
pitiful thing, one destined for no more than the final darkness. 

frustration which gripped me then was unspeakable, well nigh to the point of sending me forward with 
sword hilt in fist, to lay all about at what targets I might reach. The need for the glory of battle gripped me 
fiercely; had I not had a Mida-given task before me, had my Midanna not been awaiting my return, were 
there not captives to be freed- So many things bound me that I frothed with near madness in the chains of 
them. To ride free and armed is at times no more than an enslavement. A warrior without freedom is a 
pitiful thing, one destined for no more than the final darkness. 

Less than two hind of light remained to the fey when the forest began somewhat to thin. Rubbled hills 
appeared to the west of the males' line of travel, a reddish-black blot upon the warm greens and browns 
all about, a sight clearly expected by the males. Those in colored body cloths were greatly gladdened by 
the sight; they left their places in the set and rode together to Nobain, who, upon noticing them, halted the 
set with one hand upraised. 

"This, I believe, is our point of parting, Nobain," said one of the males in colored body cloth, his words 
difficult to make out at the distance I was forced to keep. "As you and yours mean to turn off at the 
caves, my brothers and I must continue on to our city alone. We await only the return of our wenches. " 

"Ah, yes, the return of your wenches," said Nobain, smiling broadly at those who sat their kand before 
him. "Four wenches, now, that would be. Ramsarn no longer requires a wench, and Gengan has taken 
himself off to nobler company. Am I correct?" 

"Four!" echoed the male in sudden upset, exchanging glances with those three who rode with him. I, too, 
was dismayed, for it seemed that all of my expectations had been dashed. The males would not camp 
that darkness as I had anticipated, and Ilvin and the Summa would be parted! It would not be difficult to 
follow and free the Summa, yet would the Summa ride with me to free Ilvin? And even should they do 
so, what would await us at the caves of the gray-clad males? More than likely further males of Nobain's 
ilk, all eager for the use of Ilvin and the town female, all prepared to guard them well. My fist closed 
tightly about the reins I held, the silent voice of my mind roundly cursing all males and their doings. 

"Four is correct," said another of the males astand before Nobain. "The others would have been warmly 
welcomed in our city and quickly taken as wives by two of those who have no women of their own, yet 
are they properly yours to dispose of. Should you choose to sell them in the city when you are done with 
them, their price will be yours. We have no wish to detain you longer; therefore-our wenches?" 

The pleading note to be heard within the voice of the male set Nobain to chuckling as he gestured 
forward those four who held the spoken-of captives. The gray-clad males urged their kand to stand 
beside and among the now smiling males of colored body cloths, riding close so that the two Sigurri and 
two Summa might be given over with the least amount of difficulty and awkwardness. Eagerly did the 
four males reach their arms out toward the captives they had been promised-only to meet the ending of 
their lives. Those in gray who held captives also held daggers beyond the sight of the four, and used them 
with dispatch, the sharpened edges in sides and backs bringing eternal silence to the four males. The 
Sigurri females screamed in terror, as did the town female, yet the males in gray were well pleased with 
their deed. 


"How distressing," said Nobain with a laugh, his eyes upon the last of the four to fall to the ground beside 
his kan. "Our generous offer has been refused, for these men no longer desire females. It seems we shall 
be forced to retain possession of all six of the wenches." 

"How distressing," said Nobain with a laugh, his eyes upon the last of the four to fall to the ground beside 
his kan. "Our generous offer has been refused, for these men no longer desire females. It seems we shall 
be forced to retain possession of all six of the wenches." 

It was now clear that Ilvin and the Summa were not to be simply used by their captors. When the males 
had taken all the pleasure they wished, the lives of their captives would be taken as well, leaving no 
opportunity for escape. Were I to find myself unable to free them their lives would be ended in great 
dishonor, all possibility of death in battle denied them, their entrance to Mida's Realm forever barred 
through the shame given them. Such agony could not be allowed if it were possible to avert, and to this 
end had I pledged myself. 

Without undue haste did the males continue on toward the caves, unconcerned by the deserted-seeming 
caves which were their goal. For nearly a hin did I follow, increasing the distance between us, and then 
did I rein in my kan and resolutely dismount. Well did I know that I must be nearer the set; and I had to 
dismount and continue on afoot, fleetly and silently from tree to tree beyond the sight of the males, closing 
with them as they reached their destination. I tied my kan to a tree, well within reach of what grass there 
was, hesitated, then left bow and shafts behind me. I knew I would regret having left the weapon, yet did 
I also anticipate the need to move invisibly within the caves ahead; were it necessary to conceal myself 
the bow would be a hindrance. 

The pace I took to reach the males was much of a trot, sending me forward swiftly yet silently, a pace 
used much by warriors on the hunt for quarry which must be run down. The light of the fey had gone to 
red before me, and I closed my eyes to slits against the last of its efforts. Much more easily would the 
males have seen me than I them, therefore did I proceed with caution, most especially once I had nearly 
reached them. Then did I circle right and edge ahead, allowing them to come to me, a thing easily 
possible at the slow pace they kept to. I stood hidden among the growing shadows of a wide tree, 
awaiting their approach to the caves which were no more than three gando-strides ahead, then quickly 
drew back even farther. A male appeared about the leg of stone which stretched before the caves, his 
eyes upon the approaching set, and lazily did he walk out a bit to meet them. 

"Ho, Nobain, we thought you had forgotten us," he called to the set, grinning. Large and gray-clad was 
the male, and light of hair, his sword and dagger easily upon his hips. "The others returned a considerable 
time before you." 

"We were pursued by those sons of Sigurr and could not chase them from our trail for feyd," returned the 
male Nobain, his voice its usual smoothness. "In the interim we encountered these wenches, took them 
from the Sigurri who had captured them, then thought to share them with our brothers. I trust our late 
arrival will yet be well looked upon." 

"Only by those of us remaining," answered the other male with a laugh, his eyes moving slowly over the 
captives. "The bulk of our warriors have already departed upon the mission begged of us by the city. Will 
you leave immediately to follow them, or are we to have the pleasure of your company for this 
darkness?" 

"I am of the opinion that our early success entitles us to at least a single darkness of taking our ease," said 
Nobain, halting before the new male. "Should you and the others remaining behind disagree, we will 


certainly depart immediately." 

certainly depart immediately." 

"Not nearly as pleased as we shall be to accept it," said Nobain with matching amusement. "Not to speak 
of adequate provender. You must be sure to join us when your watch is done." 

"I shall be there within the hin," nodded the guard male, stepping higher upon the beginning of the 
protruding stone leg. Nobain raised a hand in temporary farewell then urged his kan forward, followed 
eagerly by those of his set. The males rounded the stone leg and rode toward the caves which 
disappeared in shadow behind the leg, they too disappearing with their forward movement. Within a hand 
of reckid were they gone from sight, the guard male looking about once before following. I stood a 
moment considering the matter, then I crouched down in the shadow which hid me, to await the darkness 
and the replacement of the guard male before I entered behind Nobain and his captives; I knew the time 
would not be long. 

When the darkness was at last complete all about, I straightened and breathed deeply of the sweet forest 
air. Within the caves were males, and where males dwelt, there might one find even the air fouled. The 
silence of the shadows was mine as I passed from forest to rock, on toward the caves. Beneath my feet 
the ground was gritty and sharp; nearly speaking of my presence with whispers and hisses, yet was I 
Midanna rather than city dweller. He who stood within the cave mouth, faint light trickling out from 
behind him, was not the male who had greeted Nobain, nor was he one to search the darkness with his 
eyes when none might approach without being heard. He lifted to his lips the skin he held, drank deeply, 
then pulled the back of his hand across his lips, a low sound of satisfaction accompanying the faint odor 
of falar brought upon the breeze. Not much difficulty was there in slipping up behind the male with dagger 
in hand, and in a moment the throat of the male was no longer able to hold falar. Without a sound did the 
male begin the journey to Mida's chains, and quickly did I grasp the body and drag it some paces from 
the cave opening before allowing it to fall. Should one come seeking the male the while I and my warriors 
remained in the cave, he would not be easily found. 

The entrance itself was wide enough for three to stand abreast, faint light to be seen within it, coming 
from a turning to the right beyond a short corridor of stone. Low voices and laughter accompanied the 
trickle of light, the while the odor of kand came from the left. The place the males had come to rest was 
clearly evident, yet did I halt just within the entrance I had won, remembering the cave entrance to 
Sigurr's altar. Though I berated myself, I could not halt the faint tremors which seized my flesh and 
brought accursed weakness to my limbs, all through memory of thrice-damned Sigurr. There in the 
darkness I stood, bloody dagger in my hand, trembling with the fear which had been well taught me in a 
cave in another place. My free hand stole upward, toward my life-sign, seeking the comforting, 
strengthening presence which had ever sustained me, only to encounter naught save unadorned flesh. 
Only then did I recall that my life sign had been taken, in punishment for my having dallied with a male. 
Had I been city slave-woman I would have fallen to my knees and wept, yet was I Midanna, and one 
who had learned much of males; I hated Sigurr and all things male, including the manner in which the 
pleasure of male bodies lured a warrior. Much pain and deprivation had I suffered because of males, and 
though I continued to tremble at the thought of entering battle without my life sign, the thought of spilling 
male blood bested the trembling. Were I to be lost to the final darkness with all of my obligations unseen 
to, the shame would be forevermore unending-yet would I have first taken the lives of many males. 

Once made, the decision took my steps to the right, toward the light and the sound of males. The turning 
in the rock continued on a short distance, then did it lead to the entrance of a large cavern. Spires of rock 


hung from the ceiling and grew from the floor of the cavern, graying the black of its outer reaches, and 
within the center of this cavern were the males, resting themselves upon lenga pelts and handing round 
large skins which undoubtedly contained falar. Their laughter was cruel and anticipatory, no doubt 
stemming from thoughts of that which they would do to their captives, who sat bound to spires toward 
the rear of the cavern. Faintly struggling were three of those captives, their attempts to free themselves no 
more than aborted movements in the gloom beyond the torches near the males. The thought came that 
swords would be welcome to the hands of those who struggled, and then did I curse my own stupidity 
and retrace my steps to the body of the slain guard. Though he had undoubtedly made little use of the 
sword he wore, still would the weapon be more than adequate in other, more highly skilled hands. 

hung from the ceiling and grew from the floor of the cavern, graying the black of its outer reaches, and 
within the center of this cavern were the males, resting themselves upon lenga pelts and handing round 
large skins which undoubtedly contained falar. Their laughter was cruel and anticipatory, no doubt 
stemming from thoughts of that which they would do to their captives, who sat bound to spires toward 
the rear of the cavern. Faintly struggling were three of those captives, their attempts to free themselves no 
more than aborted movements in the gloom beyond the torches near the males. The thought came that 
swords would be welcome to the hands of those who struggled, and then did I curse my own stupidity 
and retrace my steps to the body of the slain guard. Though he had undoubtedly made little use of the 
sword he wore, still would the weapon be more than adequate in other, more highly skilled hands. 

"Nobain!" called a sudden harsh voice, drawing the silence and eyes of the male and his set, as well as 
those of the five hands of males who inhabited the caverns. From the dark before the entrance stepped 
he who was Gengan, he who had taken himself from the traveling set upon the trail. Wild-eyed yet with 
strangely forced calm did the red-haired male appear, and resolutely did he march himself to a place 
before the lounging Nobain. The second male looked up more in amusement than in upset, and sounded 
his usual, abrasive chuckle. 

"So, Gengan, you have returned to yourself enough to rejoin us," said he, drinking briefly from the skin he 
held. "Had we known you suffered from phantoms of the mind, we would have aided you to a return to 
health." 

"The sole phantoms which plague me are those of the slain!" returned Gengan, nearly with a sob, his 
hands closed to fists. "You led them on, causing them to believe that they would have the return of that 
which was theirs, using them as slaves about your camp to spare your own men the efforts, and then, 
when you no longer needed them, you slew them! You forced me to unbearable bestiality and lust so that 
I would in no manner be able to council and caution them, yet I understood this far too late to protect 
their lives. You are no other thing than evil, Nobain, yet will your evil not long continue!" 

"Calmly, Gengan, calmly," soothed Nobain, his tone smooth and uncaring. "We slew none save followers 
of the accursed Sigurr, a thing you would know were you in full health. All else is the product of your 
illness, and you must allow us to aid you." 

"You would aid me to death, as you aided my brothers!" sobbed Gengan, his chest heaving as though 
with great effort. "You will pay for your evil, Nobain, as surely as I am a Pathfinder for those who follow 
the true way! I have seen your death upon the Snows, and therefore have I come to challenge you! Arise 
and face me, Nobain, and face as well the fate you cannot avoid!" 

With slaking hands did Gengan drag forth the blade he wore, stumbling backward a few steps to allow 
the rising of Nobain. He who called himself warrior put aside the skin he held with a sigh, shook his head 
in helpless surrender, then rose to his feet. 

"Gengan, brother, do not force me to harm you," said Nobain, his weapon drawn with a speed and ease 
which put the other male to shame. "You are ill, and cannot hope to match me. Put up your blade, and 
we shall . . ." 


No further words were allowed the male as Gengan retook the steps he had given up, immediately 
swinging his weapon toward the covertly delighted Nobain. The youngest of warriors-to-be would have 
found avoidance of the stroke a thing of ease, therefore was Nobain able to deflect it smoothly with his 
own blade. Again and again the red-haired Gengan struck, seeking to reach the other male, yet was he 
clumsy and totally without skill. For a hand of reckid did Nobain fend him off, finding amusement in the 
sobbing vexation of the male who stood before him, and then did he tire of the foolishness and thrust his 
sword into the other male, low and hard to give the greatest pain before death. A small pouch was 
sheared away from Gengan's belt at the thrust, incongruously falling to the stone the while Gengan 
remained erect, eyes wide in disbelief and sword frozen in upraised arm. For two heartbeats did he 
remain so, and then a scream of torment escaped his lips, a scream filled with raging denial, shocked 
disbelief, and soul-tearing pain. All save Nobain cringed somewhat at the sound and then it was done, the 
spirit of Gengan having fled his body. The untenanted body fell to the stone at Nobain's feet, causing him 
to quickly free his sword with a wrench, and then did he look at the one who had faced him. 

No further words were allowed the male as Gengan retook the steps he had given up, immediately 
swinging his weapon toward the covertly delighted Nobain. The youngest of warriors-to-be would have 
found avoidance of the stroke a thing of ease, therefore was Nobain able to deflect it smoothly with his 
own blade. Again and again the red-haired Gengan struck, seeking to reach the other male, yet was he 
clumsy and totally without skill. For a hand of reckid did Nobain fend him off, finding amusement in the 
sobbing vexation of the male who stood before him, and then did he tire of the foolishness and thrust his 
sword into the other male, low and hard to give the greatest pain before death. A small pouch was 
sheared away from Gengan's belt at the thrust, incongruously falling to the stone the while Gengan 
remained erect, eyes wide in disbelief and sword frozen in upraised arm. For two heartbeats did he 
remain so, and then a scream of torment escaped his lips, a scream filled with raging denial, shocked 
disbelief, and soul-tearing pain. All save Nobain cringed somewhat at the sound and then it was done, the 
spirit of Gengan having fled his body. The untenanted body fell to the stone at Nobain's feet, causing him 
to quickly free his sword with a wrench, and then did he look at the one who had faced him. 

Those who were of the caves murmured in admiration and agreement, putting sly smiles upon the faces of 
many of Nobain's set. Again had Nobain taken the life of an innocent, yet had he made it seem a noble 
act to keep the wrath of others from him. How low a sednet was this Nobain, more than sufficient to turn 
the stomach of any who was forced to watch him. 

Two of the cavern males rose to see to Gengan's body, Nobain pausing no longer than to clean his 
sword before returning to his place and his falar skin. I had used the time of the battle, brief as it was, to 
make my way to where Ilvin and the Summa sat bound, silently thanking Mida for having seen to it that 
the three were placed one beside the other. My hair snarled about my arms as I pulled myself across the 
stone floor to a point just behind them, and impatiently I shook it back while the hum of laughter and 
conversation arose again among the males. 

"Sisters, you are not alone," I whispered below the sound of the males, striving to keep my voice from all 
those save Ilvin and the Summa. "I have come to free you, yet have I been able to secure no more than 
one additional weapon. The strongest of you must stand beside me, guarding my back the while I win 
further weapons from these males. When all are armed, we may depart this place with none to halt us." 

Not one of the three heads turned to me, none foolish enough to betray my presence to the males, nor 
did any of the three jump to her feet once my dagger had parted the leather which bound them. I 
replaced my dagger in its leg bands, paused a brief moment to peer out at the males above Ilvin's 
shoulder, then did I jump to my feet and vault between Hitta and Summa, dropping the male's sword at 
their feet as I drew mine from my scabbard. 

"In the name of Mida, and for the glory of the Hitta and Summa clans!" I shouted, standing wide-legged 
and ready as I gazed upon the startled, exclaiming males. "Stand with me, sisters, and we shall soon be 
gone from here!" 

Many of the males rose quickly to their feet at my appearance, drawing their weapons and looking about 
themselves as though expecting others to appear about the cavern. Though I was prepared for immediate 
attack none launched themselves toward me to engage in battle, therefore did I throw a quick glance 
back toward the three Midanna to see who would be the one to stand with me. The glance I took 
became a stare, for none of the three had gained her feet! The light-haired Summa remained leaning upon 
the stone spire with her back, one arm dragged forward while the other kept its place behind her, the 


place in which it had been when bound. The other Summa, she of the dark hair, and Ilvin, had both 
fought themselves free of the spires which had held them, yet was the Summa fallen to her left side and 
Ilvin sprawled half forward, sweating with the effort. Their limbs moved feebly, mere twitches rather than 
true movements, their lips opened in attempted speech, the dullness of forced lethargy peering out from 
their eyes. Clearly they had been fed some Mida-forsaken brew of males, and though they tried with all 
their strength, they could not stand with me! 

place in which it had been when bound. The other Summa, she of the dark hair, and Ilvin, had both 
fought themselves free of the spires which had held them, yet was the Summa fallen to her left side and 
Ilvin sprawled half forward, sweating with the effort. Their limbs moved feebly, mere twitches rather than 
true movements, their lips opened in attempted speech, the dullness of forced lethargy peering out from 
their eyes. Clearly they had been fed some Mida-forsaken brew of males, and though they tried with all 
their strength, they could not stand with me! 

"What more than one warrior is needed to best males?" I asked with sneering challenge, seeking to bring 
the males to anger and thereafter immediate attack. "I am Jalav, war leader of all the Midanna, and have 
come to free those warriors of mine you hold captive." 

"We would much prefer that you join them," the male Nobain replied, his accursed amusement halting 
those who would have come forward in a rush. We stood four or five paces apart, the males and I, and 
clearly did all begin to show the look most males took on at sight of Jalav. 

"Never have I seen one to match her," muttered one male of the caverns, stepping up beside Nobain, his 
point fallen to the ground. "Her pull is greater than that of that wench of yours, Nobain, and I would be 
the first to claim her." 

"She must first be disarmed before she might be claimed," returned Nobain, the smooth persuasiveness 
having returned to his voice. "Do you fancy yourself able to accomplish this without seriously harming 
her?" 

"As easily as you," replied the cavern male, a faint amusement coming to him at the sudden flash of anger 
to be seen in the eyes of Nobain. "I know you, brother, and will not be put off by your supposed 
eagerness to have me make the attempt. The light-haired wench is yours, and with her you must be 
content. This one will first be mine." 

With that the male turned from Nobain and again raised his point, then confidently strode forward to face 
me. It was clear he anticipated little difficulty in his undertaking, yet was I not of a mind to oblige him. His 
first attempted stroke was to my wrist, his intention to cause me to drop my weapon; my return stroke 
merely brushed his aside, my intention being to feign small skill and thereby draw others into the attempt. 
A sound of annoyance came from the male, and then was I looked upon with severity. 

"Wench, you cannot stand against me, therefore are you to surrender immediately!" he scolded, his tone 
stern and uncompromising. "Should it become necessary for me to wound you seriously before I might 
take you, you will be soundly beaten!" 

"To either wound or punish, you must first conquer," said I, finding it difficult to credit the foolishness of 
the male. Sooner would I have faced Nobain, he who merited slaying many times over, he who now 
spoke softly to two of his set who stood beside him. 

"I shall certainly conquer!" growled the male before me, gripping his weapon and beating at me with 


strength. Perhaps the male imagined his weapon a branch instead, yet was I sufficiently startled by so 
mindless an attempt that I slipped his stroke and put my point to his throat. I had not intended slaying the 
male so quickly nor so easily, yet did my earlier ruse in some manner bear fruit. 

strength. Perhaps the male imagined his weapon a branch instead, yet was I sufficiently startled by so 
mindless an attempt that I slipped his stroke and put my point to his throat. I had not intended slaying the 
male so quickly nor so easily, yet did my earlier ruse in some manner bear fruit. 

Quickly did he raise his weapon and rush toward me, just as quickly being joined by another of their 
number, their charging forms sending jagged shadows in the torchlight. With two so intent upon spitting 
me, I could no longer control my feelings. Battle pleasure rose so strongly that a purr escaped my throat. 
Mida! The glory of battle at last! And then the first of the males reached me and began laying about 
himself, as though he faced a hand or more of those who came in attack upon him. The purr died in my 
throat and red-lined rage grew in its place, so keen was the disappointment I felt; this second male had 
fully as much skill as the first. So great a warrior was he that I was able to keep watch upon the other 
who came, the while I kept his wildly swinging point from my flesh. When the two at last stood before me 
I raised my voice in the piercing Hosta battle cry. The males, startled, gave ground to my charge, and 
then did they give their lives; a slash left and right took the throats from them, their own blades uselessly 
elsewhere. Now was it clear as to why these males had been left behind upon the departure of the others: 
their battle skills were so greatly lacking that to take them against Sigurri warriors would have surely 
brought about their ending. Had I had even one other Midanna to stand with me, easily would we have 
slain the lot of them. 

And yet I had no other Midanna to stand with me. Though three now lay in their own blood at my feet 
and those two who had carried away the empty husk of Gengan had not yet returned, still were the 
numbers of the males too great for a single warrior. Those who stood about now looked upon me with 
fear touching them, and it came to me that there might yet be a manner of besting them all. 

"You have said you would joy in having my use," I called to them, holding firm to the red-tipped sword in 
my fist. "Should this continue to be so, I give challenge to the leader amongst you. Let that one face me if 
he dares, and the outcome of battle shall decide. Should I stand victorious at the end of it, I shall take my 
warriors and go." 

"And should you not stand victorious, it is you who shall be taken," said Nobain, his voice rising above 
the surrounding hubbub. The male spoke with the cool arrogance which was usual to him, his smirk likely 
calculated to anger me, yet was I other than an unblooded warrior-to-be or a fool of a male. I, too, grew 
a smile, one with the fangs of the hadat in it. 

"To speak of a thing is not to see it done," said I, giving the male look for look. "Do you mean to face me 
with weapons, or slay me with the boredom of speech?" 

Much of a fool did I feel, boasting witlessly in the manner of males, yet had I done so before in order to 
bring about the battle I required. The light eyes of Nobain grew cold as the males about him fell in 
silence, all eager for revenge. A low, muffled grunt sounded behind me, undoubtedly from one of the 
warriors who struggled in the bonds of the drug which held them, yet was I unable to turn and assist her. 
The males ranged before and about me, well to left and right, and I could not take my eyes from them 
lest two or three slip past to my unguarded back. 

"To defeat a wench requires little effort from a man," said Nobain, drawing his blade slowly, as though to 
frighten me with sight of the weapon. "Those you slew were warriors in name alone, as I am not. I shall 
do you the honor of facing you for a short time, wench, and then shall I honor you further by using you. 
You will find pain in that use, yet will you learn to beg that pain as though it were the deepest of 
pleasures. You have my word." 


I made no effort to remark upon the qualities of the word of one such as he, for the male moved forward 
quickly, brought himself past those three who had fallen, then attacked with moderate strength. Indeed 
was Nobain more skillful with a blade than those others I had faced, yet was he short of the skill shown 
by those Sigurri such as Mehrayn and Aysayn and Chaldrin. His weapon flashed here and there, seeking 
my flesh, finding no more than the golden blade of Mida barring his path, the exchange, after a moment, 
bringing greater anger to his eyes. Again I felt the smile of the hadat take me, for I had not yet answered 
the attacks of the male in kind, nor would I till he knew himself thoroughly bested. Much anguish had this 
male given others, those who were no match for him, and much did I wish to return the same before I 
took his life. Well might Mida retain him for her chains, and should she do so, all eternity would be spent 
by his recalling the shame he had been given. 

I made no effort to remark upon the qualities of the word of one such as he, for the male moved forward 
quickly, brought himself past those three who had fallen, then attacked with moderate strength. Indeed 
was Nobain more skillful with a blade than those others I had faced, yet was he short of the skill shown 
by those Sigurri such as Mehrayn and Aysayn and Chaldrin. His weapon flashed here and there, seeking 
my flesh, finding no more than the golden blade of Mida barring his path, the exchange, after a moment, 
bringing greater anger to his eyes. Again I felt the smile of the hadat take me, for I had not yet answered 
the attacks of the male in kind, nor would I till he knew himself thoroughly bested. Much anguish had this 
male given others, those who were no match for him, and much did I wish to return the same before I 
took his life. Well might Mida retain him for her chains, and should she do so, all eternity would be spent 
by his recalling the shame he had been given. 

"I will waste no further time and effort upon this foolishness!" he shouted, backing again before I might 
reach him, nearly tripping upon the husk of one of those who had faced me before him. "The patience of 
a warrior is at an end. Take her!" 

The words of treachery were not totally unexpected, yet was it difficult to see from where that treachery 
would come. No other male was within sword reach of me, nor did any of those nearest draw their 
weapons. I looked quickly about, seeing naught, and then caught sight of a male swiftly uncoiling a heavy 
fighting whip. One of those with whom Nobain had been speaking was he, and even as I began to turn to 
him the memory came that there had been another--yet the memory came to late. From my other side 
came the crack of a second whip, causing agony to flare in the hand which held my sword. Nearly did I 
cry out as my fingers flew open as a red streak appeared across my hand, the thin, sharpened metal 
braided within the end of the leather freeing my blood as easily as would a sword. In fury and 
desperation I knelt, my hair falling across my arms as I stretched wildly for my sword, yet the crack of 
the whip came again and filled my hand before the hilt. This time were my palm and inner fingers abruptly 
slick and red, and the pain that flew from hand to arm to body nearly flattened me. Both knees to the 
stone, I groped, left handed, shuddering at the pain in my right, and then came the next slash, this time to 
the left. 

"Now you need no longer think of challenging a man, wench," said Nobain, laughter full in his tone as I 
fought in vain to flex my hands against the flaming pain. "You are no longer able to hold a sword, yet have 
you been left able to hold another thing, elsewhere than in your hands. Each man here shall have you, and 
then we may speak again of challenge." 

A snarl of unbounded hatred took me as I looked up at the male, my blood dripping freely to the stone 
before me. To Mida did I swear that I would have his throat out with my teeth if he were insane enough 
to approach me without the aid of others, and indeed did he sheathe his sword and begin to move 
toward me. The blood which fell from his arm gave him no pause, yet was he able to take no more than a 
single step before the voice of another brought him to a halt. 

"Perhaps you will speak of challenge with me," came the words of an angry voice I recognized. Nobain 


spun about to see the broad form of Mehrayn, astand with sword gripped tightly in fist, thoroughly 
enraged. Beside Mehrayn stood Chaldrin, a deep coldness in the depth of his eyes. Here and there about 
the cavern appeared other black-clad males of the Sigurri, perhaps two hands of them, all with weapons 
drawn, bringing gasps and moans of shock from those who stood with Nobain. No idea had they of the 
manner in which the Sigurri had appeared so abruptly, nor was I more well informed than they; the 
Sigurri had come from out of the air, it seemed, at a time when their enemies had least expected them. 

spun about to see the broad form of Mehrayn, astand with sword gripped tightly in fist, thoroughly 
enraged. Beside Mehrayn stood Chaldrin, a deep coldness in the depth of his eyes. Here and there about 
the cavern appeared other black-clad males of the Sigurri, perhaps two hands of them, all with weapons 
drawn, bringing gasps and moans of shock from those who stood with Nobain. No idea had they of the 
manner in which the Sigurri had appeared so abruptly, nor was I more well informed than they; the 
Sigurri had come from out of the air, it seemed, at a time when their enemies had least expected them. 

"Stay as you are, wench," said the male of other caverns, looking carefully about to make sure no enemy 
male approached before he crouched down before me. Large and broad and thick in the waist was 
Chaldrin, dark-haired and dark-eyed and thickly covered with dark body hair where his white body 
cloth did not cover him. Also did he continue to wear a white cloth about his middle to cover the wound I 
had given him, yet had that wound not kept him from seeing his sword well streaked with red. He set his 
weapon upon the stone beside him, within easy reach should the need arise, and then attempted to take 
my hands in his. 

"No, you must let me see them," said he, referring to my withdrawal. So great was the pain I felt that the 
cavern had begun to move somewhat about me, as though it had come loose from the rock and stone 
which held it. I had no wish to give voice to that pain, yet I might were the gaping, bloody wounds to be 
touched. 

"You may see my hands as you wish, male," said I, my voice far too thin and small, "yet are you not to 
touch them. They have already been touched by those who are male, and have no further need of such 
helpful attentions. When my Midanna have regained themselves, I will have what aid I require." 

"By then you will have bled to death," said he, annoyed, as he glanced at the warriors behind me. "They 
are all of them senseless from the exertions they attempted, and Sigurr alone knows when they will 
recover. The Sword believes you safely attended to by me, therefore does he lead his men in pursuit of 
those followers of the foul Oneness who have fled to escape a well-earned death. Will you give me the 
necessity of having to face him when he returns to find that you continue uncared for?" 

I had seen that Mehrayn had indeed led his males deeper into the caverns in pursuit of those who fled 
their swords, nor had I missed the searching look he had sent toward me before departing. All thoughts 
in my head had grown fuzzy-edged through the presence of blazing, throbbing pain, and abruptly was I 
seated upon the stone rather than kneeling upon it, my bloody hands somewhat cradled at my middle. 

"The decision is mine, therefore shall his anger be mine as well," I muttered, looking curiously about at the 
torches which had illuminated the cavern. All continued to burn as they had earlier, yet in some manner 
their light had begun dimming and darkening. "Should his anger come, it may join that of Mida, which 
continues to pursue me. I must depart this place and again take up my task, else shall Mida be taken with 
fury rather than anger-" 


Without further strength for words I left off speaking, but had I forgotten the dimming of the torches. 
When I attempted to rise to my feet, their light went quickly to blackness. 

Without further strength for words I left off speaking, but had I forgotten the dimming of the torches. 
When I attempted to rise to my feet, their light went quickly to blackness. 

Once erect I looked about, wondering how I had come to that place. A small chamber of stone was it, lit 
by a torch and closed off with a stout, metal-clad wooden door. Within the chamber stood some few 
wooden kegs and assorted sacks, putting the odor of dried provender and much falar in the air. To the 
rear of the chamber, beyond the sacks and kegs, had a fur been placed, the one upon which I now sat. I 
moved somewhat in discomfort and annoyance, unable to free my hair properly from beneath me, unable 
to catch sight of where my sword and dagger had been put, and then was the great wooden door thrust 
open so that Mehrayn might enter. Carefully did he bring within two wooden pots, one carrying the odor 
of cooked nilno, the other the odor of lellin broth, and when his eyes touched me, he smiled. 

"Jalav, you are awake!" said he, bringing forward the bowls to set them upon the stone by the furs before 
returning to the door to close it once again. "Chaldrin assured me that the balm would take the pain from 
you, and I would know if he spoke the truth." 

Closely were his eyes upon me as he returned to crouch before the furs I sat upon, a deep anxiety clear 
in the green pools which sought my soul. Much had I felt the absence of this large, red-haired Sigurri, yet 
to speak of my feelings would have been idle. Jalav rode as Mida sent her, and none would be allowed 
to lure her from that path. 

"The pain has been taken so long as I remain unmoving," said I, aware of how thick my tongue continued 
to feel. "Perhaps, after a short while, it will aid during movement as well. You have my thanks for your 
assistance, male. The other knew naught of honor and shamed himself in challenge, yet cared not. Much 
would it have pleased me to have taken his life myself, yet am I nearly as well pleased that it was you 
who was given the pleasure." 

"Pleasure indeed," said Mehrayn, a merciless look claiming him as his voice hardened. "I recalled the man 
as soon as I faced him, for I was one of those who pursued him when he fled our city. His crime was the 
senseless murder of a temple slave, a foul act which sickened all who learned of it. The slave was 
tortured before attaining the release of death, and for no reason other than that it pleased the filth to do 
her so. Had we caught him before he took refuge with those who follow the Oneness, he would have 
been put to death in the same manner as she whose life he took. How did you become entangled with 
him?" 

"He and his males held captive three warriors of the Midanna," I replied. "Even had I been willing to 
abandon Ilvin, who followed me in disobedience to my will, I could not stand before the enemy clans and 
demand the leadership of them after having left two of their number to their fate. It was therefore 
necessary that I free the Summa before continuing on with my task." 

"Your task," echoed Mehrayn, looking strangely at me. "A task which you insisted you were to attempt 
alone, and which then became another task. Was it demanded by your Mida that this second task also 
be seen to alone, or was there a reason other than that which kept you from returning and asking Sigurri 
assistance?" 


"You would have had me seek out males to assist in the freeing of Midanna?" I asked, amused at so 
strange a suggestion. "Never do males seek to aid Midanna, only to use them. It was my intention to see 
those warriors ride free, not to cause them to be chained in alcoves for Sigurri pleasure." 

"You would have had me seek out males to assist in the freeing of Midanna?" I asked, amused at so 
strange a suggestion. "Never do males seek to aid Midanna, only to use them. It was my intention to see 
those warriors ride free, not to cause them to be chained in alcoves for Sigurri pleasure." 

"So you continue to see us as no more than 'males,' " said Mehrayn, his bitterness taking the amusement 
from me. "Was it with thoughts of use that Chaldrin followed you, intending to allow none to keep him 
from raising his sword beside yours? Was it with thoughts of use that he hastened back to me, to speak 
of the enemy trail you had for some reason taken up? Was it with thoughts of use that we all rode after, 
praying to Sigurr that we find you before harm came from those followers of the putrid Oneness? Surely 
it was with thoughts of use that we slew them all, saw to your wounds, and gave comfort and easing of 
those poor creatures who had been so brutally used!" 

Much indignation flashed from the eyes of Mehrayn, his head held high as he looked down upon me, his 
body stiff in the crouch he had taken. I, myself, felt no more than confusion, for Ceralt had also once 
spoken in such a manner. Always did these males make unreasonable demands upon a warrior; how was 
a warrior to know what moved a male? 

"What other reason might there have been?" I asked, the words faltering. No more than the distant ache 
in my hands did I feel, and then was the anger and indignation gone from the male. 

"It gives me pain that no other reason occurs to you," he sighed, "a pain which stems mainly from a 
deeper understanding of that which has been done to you to cause you to feel so. Suffice it to say that we 
are here, and shall not allow further harm to come to your wenches. You may rest easy in the knowledge 
that you have my word." 

"The word of Mehrayn has proven honorable," I assured him, seeking to take the sadness from his eyes. 
"Jalav accepts it gladly, and without reserve." 

"You do me great honor, I know," said Mehrayn, a faint smile turning his lips as his hand reached out to 
stroke my hair. "Now must you do me further honor by partaking of that which I have brought. First the 
broth, to ease the knots of pain from your belly, and then the nilno, to restore some portion of the blood 
and flesh which was lost to you. Do you feel yourself capable of holding the nilno within?" 

"I shall make the effort," said I, for the first time looking directly within the pot which held the nilno. 
Barely warmed by the fire was it, bloody and raw as I most preferred it, yet did my insides lurch some 
small amount at the sight. Wounds often stole the appetite from a warrior; however I had to fortify myself 
for the journey I must immediately resume. I reached my hands out to the pot of broth, saw the cloth 
covering them before recalling its presence, then made a small sound of annoyance. No other than a male 
would bind a warrior's hands so closely, and clearly would the cloth need to be removed before I might 
again take up sword and dagger and kan's reins. 

"Here, I will assist you," said Mehrayn, his large hand taking the pot of broth from the stone and raising it 
toward my lips. No more than a moment did I hesitate, greatly displeased with the need for assistance, 
but I needed the provender so I could be on my way. I therefore drank the broth with my eyes upon the 
pot, pushing away thinly insistent thoughts of humiliation, giving no heed to the strong pleasure which fairly 
hummed from Mehrayn. I had no understanding of the pleasure males felt from doing a warrior in such an 
odd manner, yet was I certain of my dislike of it. 

With all of the broth within me, Mehrayn then took up the nilno, which had been cut small as though in 


anticipation of difficulty on my part to do the thing for myself. Indeed would I have had difficulty in 
wielding a dagger, yet did I dislike such solicitous reminder of supposed helplessness. Jalav was a 
warrior and war leader of the Midanna, and well able was she to see to her own well-being! As Mehrayn 
looked within the pot for a cut to his liking, it came to me that the broth was all I was then able to hold; 
the nilno would turn my insides about, therefore it was best left behind me. 

anticipation of difficulty on my part to do the thing for myself. Indeed would I have had difficulty in 
wielding a dagger, yet did I dislike such solicitous reminder of supposed helplessness. Jalav was a 
warrior and war leader of the Midanna, and well able was she to see to her own well-being! As Mehrayn 
looked within the pot for a cut to his liking, it came to me that the broth was all I was then able to hold; 
the nilno would turn my insides about, therefore it was best left behind me. 

"Trail?" echoed Mehrayn sharply, looking up quickly. "Hunt? What nonsense do you speak? You cannot 
take to the trail with your hands in ribbons." 

"I may do no other thing." I shrugged, looking about with some small difficulty among the sack and kegs. 
"Where have my sword and dagger been put? I shall require them upon my journey. " 

"Wench, you journey nowhere save in return to this fur!" the male growled, putting aside the pot and 
straightening to the fullness of his height. "You have no need of weapons you are unable to wield, solely 
do you have need of rest and care so that you may be restored! To speak of taking to the trail now is 
idiocy, an idiocy I shall not allow!" 

"There is naught you may say upon the matter," I told him, gesturing aside the foolishness of his prattle. 
"Still do I ride in the name of Mida, and no mortal male may stand in my path. Go and fetch my weapons 
at once, and think only upon your word in regard to my warriors. They must be released as soon as they 
are able to ride, for we will require all of their swords when the strangers have come." 

I turned my back upon the lowering look he gave me, tossed my hair back from about my arms, and 
took myself unsteadily toward the metal-bound, wooden door. 

"Should it be your expectation that I shall leap to obey your commands, you are destined to find 
disappointment, O war leader of Midanna," came the angry words from behind me. "I do not leap to 
obey foolish girl-children, merely do I ignore their chatter and see to that which must be done. Return to 
this fur immediately, else shall I return you to it!" 

"No longer have I the time to dally with males!" I snapped. "There has already been far too much of such 
idle foolishness, for which I have paid a high price in loss and pain! Should it become necessary to pay 
further, I may well fail to survive to do as I must! I will not see my Midanna leaderless and my Hosta left 
captive to males, solely by cause of my lack of sense of duty! Now, where are my weapons?" 

"Woman, you speak utter nonsense!" Mehrayn exclaimed, more annoyed. "To consider your actions the 
cause of all that has occurred is the height of idiocy! To believe that you must take yourself into the 
forests this very moment, wounded and alone, is even greater idiocy! What will become of your wenches 
when you find yourself unable to defend against the prowlers of the forests? Or when you discover you 
are unable to hunt for the sustenance you require? You will fall a final time with none to know of it, 
nothing accomplished." 

He stood with hands upon swordbelt, anger darkening his skin and blazing forth from the green of his 
eyes. Much would it have pleased me to find a male capable of sense and logic, one who knew and 
acknowledged the ways of the gods, yet was such an expectation idle. No more than males were they, 
each like unto the next, of use in no place other than a warrior's sleeping leather. I shook my head, then 
did I turn again toward the closed door. 

"Mida will see to the safety and provender of her warrior," said I, putting a final end to the discussion. "I 


will find my sword and dagger alone." 

will find my sword and dagger alone." 

"In order for your Mida to see to your safety and provender upon the trail," said Mehrayn, "she must first 
see to the opening of that door. Surely so unimportant a thing will not be allowed to stand in your way." 

"I do not know the method of its opening," said I through teeth clenched in anger, keeping my gaze from 
the accursed male. "You, of course, will refuse to speak of it." 

"On the contrary, wench, I consider it my duty to assist you," said he, considerable amusement to be 
heard in the words. "One need only grasp the metal latch, push it down, then turn it in a full circle and pull 
to the right. The door will then open easily with no more than the slightest pull." 

I continued to keep my gaze upon the dark, aged wood of the door, silently calling down the curse of 
Mida upon the heads of all males who would devise such things as that door. In order to perform the 
doing one must be able to grasp the leg of metal, a thing I was then unable to accomplish. Indeed did I 
attempt to close one hand about the cloth covering it, only to nearly moan at the flash of returning agony. 
A fury rose up in me that I might be closed in so effortlessly, causing me to attempt the leg of metal with 
my arms; the Mida-forsaken leg sprang back to its resting place the moment I attempted beginning the 
circle, no matter that I made the attempt over and over again. A growl rose to my throat with the last of 
it, to accompany the sweat of frustration and effort which covered me, and then did a big hand come to 
my shoulder. 

"That mechanism is designed to keep without all those unfamiliar with it," said Mehrayn, in a soothing 
tone. "Also shall it keep within one who is as yet unfit to take to the trail. Return to the fur, wench, and 
allow your strength to find you again." 

"I shall not!" I ground out, jerking my head about to glare up at him. "I shall go my way as I am meant to 
do! In Mida's name do I demand that this accursed door be opened!" 

"Now do I know for certain that the wounds have affected you," said he, his brows low with disapproval 
as he withdrew his hand. "Though we have often shared words of disagreement, never before have you 
sounded the willful, demanding child. You go nowhere save to your furs, wench, and the door shall 
remain as it is." 

With such words did he bend and lift me in his arms, and then return me to the fur I had left. Much did I 
shout and kick and attempt to struggle, yet all to no avail. Despite the closeness of the room a covering 
fur was placed upon me, and when I attempted to rid myself of it agony flared in my hands. I moaned as 
the searing pain intensified, then moaned again when Mehrayn's hand touched my brow; so cool was that 
hand that I shivered to my soul, unable to fend off the feeling. The torchlight danced and shuddered in the 
dimness, partially illuminating the odd look which had taken Mehrayn, much as though deep concern held 
him close. Long reckid passed in my attempt to escape, and longer hind, yet was Mehrayn inescapable. I 
fought and struggled though all strength was lost to me, and then, at the end of strength, came the 
darkness. 


CH 3. A gift is returned-and a journey begun 


All was silent when I awoke, yet did it seem as though the air carried memory of the presence of many 
males--and warriors as well. At first I recalled naught of what had occurred; I knew only I was hungry 
and my body felt slick and unclean, my hair hanging again in greasy strands, yet was there a strength and 
well-being within me which squared my shoulders and allowed me to hold my head high. I sat upon a fur 
in a room of stone, a half-spent torch casting enough light to look about in, a large, metal-bound wooden 
door shutting off sight of what lay beyond. A sudden aroma came to me which caused me to twist 
toward a wooden board where stood an array of the provender which I had such a great need of. Nilno 
and paslat and fellin tubers there were, dark baked grain and a large metal goblet from which the aroma 
of falar came; though it seemed to have stood there some short time I reached for the first of it with 
pleasure, and at sight of the cloth wrapped about my hand, memory returned of what had gone before. 

For a single brief moment I sat unmoving, and then did I look down between my breasts to see that 
which I already knew was there. My life sign, the crystal hadat with roiling black within, hung upon its 
leather as though it had ever been upon me, as though it had not been taken in anger by Mida. Slowly, 
though there was no longer a reason for caution, I took the wrapped cloth from first my right hand and 
then my left, seeing the faint lines of healing where so recently had been gaping wounds, feeling naught 
save strength and steadiness in my grip. The sole cause of unsteadiness I felt stemmed from the vast 
clouds of confusion surrounding me, for never had I thought to see my life sign again. Had Mida relented 
in her anger and therefore returned the life sign as she had taken it? Had she felt approval for my actions, 
rather than condemnation as I had at first believed? Was the pain I had been given no more than that 
which a warrior might expect at the hands of males, rather than the punishment I had thought it to be? I 
knew not what the goddess was about, yet did I know that I had again been healed; clearly, in future, it 
would be necessary to recall that the final stroke of a battle was not necessarily that which was clear to 
the eye. 

The provender which awaited me was also unexplained, yet was I able to feed upon it without such 
explanation. Much of it had gone comfortably down my throat to fill the hollow within, the falar slowly 
and smoothly following, when the great door opened to admit Mehrayn. He halted briefly, his eyes 
touched me, with a look of satisfaction, and then he closed the door and approached the place where I 
sat. 

"Though the doing of it was this time longer, you are again healed," said he, halting before the fur so that 
he might bend and seat himself upon it. "And you have eaten the food left for you." 

"Indeed," said I, sipping at the falar as I considered the strangeness which held the male. Much did it 
seem as though he hid annoyance, yet for what reason I knew not. "You are already aware, then, of the 
return of my life sign, therefore was it you who provided provender. I had wondered upon the reason for 
its presence." 

"Indeed," said he, almost as though he mocked me, his eyes continuing to hold mine. "You wondered 
upon the reason for the presence of the food, yet not upon the reason for the presence of your life sign. 
Perhaps you already know how it was returned?" 

"Clearly has Mida relented in her anger toward me," said I, understanding naught of the tone of the male. 
"As it was she who took the life sign, it was also she who returned it. What part of the fey is it outside 
these stone walls? How long was I made to sleep?" 

"Darkness has but recently fallen without," said he, keeping his eyes upon me. "You have slept the healing 
sleep since mid fey of the last fey, before that you lay in fever sleep since the darkness before last 
darkness. We discovered that the blades of the whips which touched you were coated with a resin which 


brings on delirium. If not properly counteracted, it eventually brings death as well. So it was your Mida 
who returned your life sign to you, was it? Just as she took it?" 

brings on delirium. If not properly counteracted, it eventually brings death as well. So it was your Mida 
who returned your life sign to you, was it? Just as she took it?" 

"Perhaps one might say with even greater certainty that I am better acquainted with the point than you," 
said he, reclining. "When the life sign was returned, you see, I was not in the midst of the sleep of 
delirium." 

"You beheld Mida?" I asked, startled to a large degree. "Never before has she appeared to a male, save 
that that male was already . . . " 

"It was not Mida," said he, his tone so flat that my words immediately died. Indeed, the male seemed to 
grow more and more angry and annoyed with each passing hand of reckid. "The one who returned your 
life sign was Aysayn, who rode after us as quickly as he discovered who had stolen it. And before you 
ask, that one was also not your Mida." 

"I do not understand." I stumbled, confusion growing so great that it nearly overwhelmed me. "Who other 
than Mida would have dared . . ." 

"Ladayna dared," said he, quickly taking the goblet of falar which I had nearly spilled through having 
forgotten that I held it. "The wench slipped into my chamber while we slept, having left Aysayn's side in 
my guest chamber where he slept. Through accident did Aysayn discover it in her possession, and then 
did the wench dare to insist that she had taken it to keep you from riding off alone as you intended. She 
was attempting to assist Aysayn and myself, said she, and yet she did not come forward with the life sign 
once you had left without it. She professed fear of accusation of having taken your protection once you 
were gone, yet do I recall that she took the sign once before, having found a great attraction in it. Aysayn 
beat her till her speech was nearly incoherent with pain, yet did she continue to maintain that she had not 
stolen for her own benefit." 

I stretched my legs out upon the golden lenga fur and leaned down to one elbow, stunned at the tale 
Mehrayn had told. Ladayna! She it was who had twice condemned me to slavery, each time to protect 
the schemings she had contrived against Aysayn, he who was called Sigurr's Shadow upon this world. 
When I regained my freedom it had been my intention to take her life, yet had I been felled by the wound 
I had received in the battle fought shortly before; upon awakening I found I had been given my task by 
Mida, therefore had such petty thoughts been put aside. Perhaps it would have been best to complete 
that which had been nearly begun; to leave a living enemy behind is to offer one's back to that enemy's 
blade. 

"So much for the term 'sister' used by her," I said at last, recalling the words the female had last 
addressed to me. "Surely was it her departure from your chamber which awakened me during that 
darkness, and surely would I have awakened the sooner had I not swallowed so great an amount of 
falar. Once again has it been proven that a warrior must be cautious when taking drink among males." 

"And this is the sole conclusion you have come to?" asked Mehrayn, drawing my eyes back to him. 
Though the torch sat upon the wall above and somewhat behind him, the eyes of the male fairly glowed 
with whatever emotion flared through him. "A warrior must be cautious of the company she keeps? No 
word upon the foolishness of wenches who see themselves as of vast importance? No word of apology 
to those who have been badly used by those selfsame wenches?" 

"I know of none who have been badly used," said I, again confused. "Nor do I see my actions as foolish. 
As Mida commands so must it be, with none to deny her. No more have I done than attempt to obey." 


"You obey neither mortal nor god," said he with a soft sound of disdain. "Your actions stem from no 
more than your own interpretation of events, an interpretation which is more often incorrect than true. 
You defy and deny those about you in the name of Mida, when the true source quoted should be Jalav 
the stubborn." 

"You obey neither mortal nor god," said he with a soft sound of disdain. "Your actions stem from no 
more than your own interpretation of events, an interpretation which is more often incorrect than true. 
You defy and deny those about you in the name of Mida, when the true source quoted should be Jalav 
the stubborn." 

"You know well enough that the Sigurri shall ride as Sigurr demands," said he, his tone calm yet 
implacable. "I shall not be distracted into argument upon a point other than that which we discuss. When 
your life sign was found to be gone from that place where it had been left, I asked that you delay your 
departure till a thorough search had been instituted. One of proper and mature reason would surely have 
agreed, yet Jalav the gando knew the true meaning behind the disappearance: Mida the goddess had 
fallen to anger, and Jalav's punishment was that she be bereft of protection. Immediately did the 
she-gando take her leave, without even so much as a final word to those who had come to care for her." 

My lips parted to berate the male for the tone he dared to take with me, yet he quickly sat himself straight 
and continued before my words were able to come forth. 

"Much did I heap curses upon my own head for having kept you so long from your task that terrible 
punishment was given you," said he, sharp anger now evident in face and voice. "Clearly was it my 
insistence upon accompanying you and the-'dallying' I had lured you with that had brought disaster upon 
you, for so had you maintained and so did it truly seem. When Chaldrin returned with word of the new 
direction you had taken I rode out immediately, ill with the thought that further punishment was to be 
added to that which had already been given you. We crept within this cavern, seeking to surround the 
enemy whose numbers were greater than ours, yet before the encirclement was complete the whips were 
used on you. Again I reviled myself, believing the ills which befell you continued to be caused by me, 
thinking you had spoken truly when you insisted that my presence would bring naught save grief. We 
slew our enemies and bound your wounds, then stood about and watched as delirium slowly sapped the 
life from you. We were helpless, unable to aid against the resin, for we knew not what the counteragent 
might be-and then your life sign was brought by Aysayn. The life sign you would already have worn had 
you waited another fey or two." 

His green eyes held to me with an unsettling directness, a voiceless command that his words were to be 
taken as truth. Indeed was I greatly dismayed at his view of the happenings, yet was it clear that he saw 
only through the eyes of anger. 

"You are a male, and therefore unfamiliar with the doings of Mida and unable to comprehend the true 
meaning of things," said I, attempting to free my tone of insult and merely to teach. "At first did I, too, see 
Ladayna at fault, yet must it be remembered that Mida may use any to see her will done, even a city 
slave-woman or males. Ladayna's doing was clearly at the behest of Mida, the return of my life sign by 
Aysayn as clearly the same. Had I found the final darkness I would no longer have been able to ride in 
her cause, therefore did the goddess see to my survival. Chaldrin was allowed to follow and bring others, 
for I rode in a direction other than that from which they have been barred. It was indeed Mida's intention 
to see me punished, yet was it not her intention to see me ended. She continues to feel annoyance with 
her warrior, yet are there tasks which must be accomplished." 

Again I stretched upon the lenga pelt and rested upon my left elbow, the now-healed fingers of my hand 
toying with the long, silky hair of the fur. I did not know whether or not Mida approved of my most 


recent doings, but I continued to feel that she did not. The males might well have been allowed to arrive 
soon enough to keep the metal-tipped fighting whips from my flesh, yet they had not. The word sent to 
me may well have been a warning to heed the command I had been given, else might my life sign also be 
kept from arriving should the occasion again arise. Under such a circumstance would my soul then be 
forfeit; however I still was not eager to obey. Instead I felt a faint curiosity, centering on a newly formed 
query: in what manner would the goddess act if I were to fling my life sign into a swiftly running stream 
and then open my own throat with a dagger? Would even the magic of the goddess be sufficient to keep 
the life from flowing swiftly from me? I had once been healed by her without the presence of the crystal 
life sign, yet had the process been long and filled with the frustrations of helplessness; if it were her 
intention to see me healed again, would this longer process be used, or would the life sign somehow be 
retrieved yet again? Faintly did it seem that the goddess challenged me rather than commanded yet the 
notion could be nothing more than empty-headed fancy. 

recent doings, but I continued to feel that she did not. The males might well have been allowed to arrive 
soon enough to keep the metal-tipped fighting whips from my flesh, yet they had not. The word sent to 
me may well have been a warning to heed the command I had been given, else might my life sign also be 
kept from arriving should the occasion again arise. Under such a circumstance would my soul then be 
forfeit; however I still was not eager to obey. Instead I felt a faint curiosity, centering on a newly formed 
query: in what manner would the goddess act if I were to fling my life sign into a swiftly running stream 
and then open my own throat with a dagger? Would even the magic of the goddess be sufficient to keep 
the life from flowing swiftly from me? I had once been healed by her without the presence of the crystal 
life sign, yet had the process been long and filled with the frustrations of helplessness; if it were her 
intention to see me healed again, would this longer process be used, or would the life sign somehow be 
retrieved yet again? Faintly did it seem that the goddess challenged me rather than commanded yet the 
notion could be nothing more than empty-headed fancy. 

I blinked in uncertainty at the words of the male, yet did it seem that, although strangely put, he had at last 
found the right of it. The reason behind so odd a circumstance was far beyond the vision of even a 
Midanna war leader, yet had the male done well in describing the circumstance itself. Again I parted my 
lips, this time to commend the male, yet was he in the midst of opening and removing his swordbelt, the 
overly pleasant smile he had worn now nearly a grin. I had no understanding of what brought him such 
amusement and lightheartedness, and surely did he see the words I had not yet put breath to. 

"Your dark, lovely eyes are filled with question," said he, putting sword and scabbard well behind him. 
"Should you wonder at my feelings of pleasure, you need wonder no longer. I am pleased that I may now 
accompany you as I wish, for my presence will be in accordance with the will of the gods. Lacking free 
will of my own, my actions may be considered no other thing." 

"You cannot!" I protested, so taken aback by his intention that I began to straighten to sitting again. "I 
must be on my way from here in as few reckid as possible, therefore . . . " 

"No," said he, his voice soft, his movement so swift that he knelt across me before I was able to rise to 
sitting. "As the gods direct my actions, my will may be looked upon as the will of the gods. It is my will 
that you remain here through the darkness, therefore shall you obey the gods and remain." 

"You do not speak with the voice of the gods!" I hissed, glaring up at his broad form in anger. "Merely 
are you used at times to see the will of the gods done! You, yourself, are no part of it! Remove your bulk 
from before me this moment, for I must quickly depart!" 

"Else shall I be struck down by the gods?" he inquired pleasantly, putting his great hands to my life sign 
and the leather which held it. "Surely do you seem to have forgotten that the gods are angered and have 
decreed punishment for you. What harsher punishment than to keep you in a place you wish to be gone 
from? What better way to punish disobedience than through forced obedience? You shall, I will wager, 
recall this punishment longer than many others you have been given, perhaps even unto a fair 
consideration in future of those about you who are other than Midanna." 


His hands then lifted the life sign from about my neck, showing that the leather had not been settled 
beneath my hair. The anger within me grew to fury, for the male clearly believed not a word he spoke, his 
intent no more than to mock me and take that which was not freely given. I had not the time to dally with 
males, and surely would Mida see me truly punished if I again failed to ride as she had directed. Personal 
punishment might be borne in silence, yet what if the punishment should descend instead upon the Hosta 
or those other Midanna who followed me? That was how the gods punished, bringing agony to one's 
very soul, though this male above me did not know that. He moved in the cause of none save his own, his 
anger toward one who was chained to the gods more than foolish. 

His hands then lifted the life sign from about my neck, showing that the leather had not been settled 
beneath my hair. The anger within me grew to fury, for the male clearly believed not a word he spoke, his 
intent no more than to mock me and take that which was not freely given. I had not the time to dally with 
males, and surely would Mida see me truly punished if I again failed to ride as she had directed. Personal 
punishment might be borne in silence, yet what if the punishment should descend instead upon the Hosta 
or those other Midanna who followed me? That was how the gods punished, bringing agony to one's 
very soul, though this male above me did not know that. He moved in the cause of none save his own, his 
anger toward one who was chained to the gods more than foolish. 

"I give eternal thanks to Sigurr that you have been restored to full health, stubborn she-gando," he 
murmured, the green of his eyes now steady with sobriety. "Had you been taken from my arms to his, 
surely would I soon have followed you. I know now that I mean naught to you, for I am male and Sigurri 
rather than Midanna, yet do you remain all that holds meaning for me. Best you learn to care for yourself, 
for the pain which takes you takes me as well, and I care little for such added pain." 

Then were his lips upon mine, warm and demanding, and I awash in limitless confusion. Though I had 
attempted to free myself of him, my desire for his lips and arms and body was so great that I felt I would 
burst with it. Merely to share the touch of his lips, my hands to the broadness of his shoulders. Mida! 
What enchantment the male had placed upon me I knew not, yet was I powerless to resist it. In the feyd 
we had been apart I had yearned for him endlessly, and he spoke of meaning naught to me. And yet, 
how was I to acknowledge what meaning he did hold for me, when the gods punished as they did? The 
warmth of his body came to mine as his tongue tasted me deeply, a tasting I could barely keep from 
sharing. Mida demanded that I ride at once, yet this male kept me from it; should she somehow gain the 
agreement of Sigurr, indeed might Mehrayn be struck down! I moved in protest beneath his body and 
lips, torn with the need for him, torn with the need to be away, unable to know more than a portion of the 
frenzied thoughts racing about in my head. If for no other reason, I must depart to protect the male, yet 
his arms moved beneath me and held me tight to his chest. 

"I shall not allow you to squirm free of me, wench," he said with soft laughter, his right fist tangling in my 
hair. "There is punishment yet to come to you-as soon as I am done with giving thanks to Sigurr." 

Again did his lips come to me, this time with greater strength, and no longer was I able to consider 
protection. 

The coming light of the new fey was not evident within the crowding dimness of the large cavern where 
Nobain and many of his males had been slain, yet was the presence of so many newly awakened folk 
ample evidence of its nearness. Provender had already been prepared and offered to those who had 
desire for it, and Mehrayn's males sat about and fed slowly, attempting to chase the mists of sleep from 
their eyes. It came as no surprise that it was the town female and two Sigurri females who had been 
chosen to prepare the provender; what surprise there was came from the manner in which they looked 
upon me when I stood before them. Their haughty up-and-down appraisal attempted to dismiss my 
presence, it faltering only when I straightened to my full height and rested left hand upon sword hilt. Foul 


was the humor of Jalav that fey, and fortunate were the females for seeing this so quickly. I had no desire 
for the provender they had prepared, yet had I a great need of it; had I found it necessary to demand that 
provender, their haughtiness would have been keenly regretted. 

was the humor of Jalav that fey, and fortunate were the females for seeing this so quickly. I had no desire 
for the provender they had prepared, yet had I a great need of it; had I found it necessary to demand that 
provender, their haughtiness would have been keenly regretted. 

"It pleases me to see you hale and strong again, wench," came a familiar voice. Chaldrin stood above me, 
partially shadowed, the steps of his approach so silent that they had not intruded upon my thoughts. I 
sank my teeth into the flesh of the paslat, tearing out a great chunk upon which to chew, giving the male 
no least sign of recognition. I had no desire for the company of any male, and wished the fact to be made 
plain to Chaldrin, yet was he male and unconcerned over remaining where he was unwanted. A deep 
silence descended when I spoke no word, and then was Chaldrin crouching beside me. 

"Do you mean to hold all men culpable for what was done to you by the Sword?" he asked, his tone held 
low so that it might reach my ears alone. "All men are no more responsible for the doings of one, than all 
wenches are to be taken to task for the doings of one of theirs. Mehrayn was filled with great fury when 
the Shadow appeared bearing your life sign, and deeply did he vow to see you punished for thoughtless 
foolishness. Was he overly harsh with you?" 

I tore again at the paslat flesh with my teeth, near to a growl at thought of Mehrayn's doings of the 
darkness. My hunger for him had been no less than his for me, and fully did we merge for an endless 
time, feeling more than simple pleasure of the flesh. Truly did I wish to weep as a city slave-woman 
would when he withdrew from me, for I knew I was bound to leave him behind once again and continue 
on the path demanded of me by Mida. I took his broad face in my hands, pressing my lips to his a final 
time, rose to sitting to seek out my breech, and then he had-

"Should that male approach me again, I shall have his life," I snarled low, reaching for the falar I had had 
the city females pour for me. "Mida take me if I fail to do so." 

"And I have sworn to stand with you," said Chaldrin with a deep sigh, hanging his forearms upon his 
broad thighs. "A pity the Sword will not hold his stroke against me as he shall with you. Perhaps your 
Mida will find a place for me as you do not." 

"Should he hold his stroke with me, he will not retain life long enough to face another," I informed 
Chaldrin. averting my eyes as I replaced the falar after one swallow and returned to the paslat. "Perhaps 
in future, however, you would be wise to consider carefully before giving your oath to stand beside 
another." 

"You are undoubtedly correct," said the male with his deep-voiced chuckle. "I am, however, still in the 
midst of the first oath, which shall also undoubtedly continue to hold my attention for some time. Do you 
mean to say you would strike at one who would not defend himself from you? That you would take his 
life though yours was not in jeopardy? I had not thought the coward's stroke to be among those you 
would use." 

Again I growled low in my throat, this time sending a venom-filled glare toward the male, yet his dark 
eyes refused to look away from mine. Though I enjoyed the thought of facing Mehrayn with blades, 
indeed would I feel the coward striking at one who had vowed to raise no weapon against me. My 


sword and dagger had I found immediately without the room I had passed the darkness in, yet had I not 
returned to sink a blade deep in the sleeping body of he who was Sigurr's Sword. Though the male had 
earned that and more, honor forbade that I do him so. 

sword and dagger had I found immediately without the room I had passed the darkness in, yet had I not 
returned to sink a blade deep in the sleeping body of he who was Sigurr's Sword. Though the male had 
earned that and more, honor forbade that I do him so. 

"For the reason that his stroke might have been avoided, had you taken the trouble to learn what I had 
offered to teach you," replied the dark male, his tone unrelenting. "Perhaps your efforts would still have 
come to naught, for the Sword is not unskilled in this manner of battle, yet would you have found yourself 
able to strike a blow or two which would not have gone unfelt. Would there not have been satisfaction in 
knowing that even in defeat you had given nearly as well as you had received?" 

The question the male posed hung between us, for I would have given much to have been able to strike a 
telling blow against Mehrayn. So large was that male, and so strongly made-was it truly possible Chaldrin 
spoke without deceit? I took my eyes from the male of the Caverns and put aside the paslat bones, then 
took up the dark baked grain. Had it not been necessary that I depart immediately upon Mida's work . . 
. 

"Jalav." The softly spoken word was in a voice other than that of Chaldrin, higher and considerably more 
hesitant. I raised my eyes to see Ilvin to my right, astand as though she were a warrior-to-be and I a 
Keeper's Attendant who had cause to be cross with her. Indeed was I the war leader of her war leader, 
and indeed had I cause to be cross with her. 

"So, Ilvin, you felt the need to take a short ride through the forests, I see," said I, staring up at a warrior 
who stood with head down and light eyes elsewhere. "Perhaps I have attained greater age than I had 
thought; surely do I recall having commanded you to remain with your sisters. This, however, cannot be, 
for what warrior would disobey her war leader?" 

"Jalav, I meant no disobedience!" she begged, light eyes now beseechingly upon me. "Those males gave 
no respect to the greatest warrior among us, and deeply did I feel that they would cause you harm! I 
followed after so that I might be at hand should you require one to stand beside you, yet did I take care 
to stand well away from Mida's work! Had I known my capture would draw you from the return path to 
those who wait, surely would I have first taken my own life and stood in dishonor before Mida." 

"For one who meant no disobedience, there was disobedience aplenty," said I, taking the baked grain 
and the falar and rising to my feet. Ilvin continued to look upon me with great anxiety, knowing the duty 
one owed to a war leader, knowing a war leader's word was ignored at a warrior's peril. The reason she 
had disobeyed was insufficient, for she had chosen her own estimation of the situation over mine-and then 
had been proven in error. At such a point one must either challenge the war leader in order to join Mida 
with weapon honorably in hand, else must the erring warrior accept punishment sternly given. "When I 
have returned to Bellinard," said I, "I shall expect to hear from your war leader what punishment was 
given you-and how well you accepted it." 

"I shall accept it gladly, Jalav," said she, happily eager, and then did the eyes which looked upward 
toward me widen with sudden distress. "When have you returned?" she echoed, truly hearing the words I 
had spoken. "You cannot mean to remain longer among these males?" 

"You, warrior, have only to consider your own path!" I returned with some sharpness, my annoyance 
growing greater at the tone Ilvin had used. Surely did it seem that the Hitta warrior was again prepared 


for disobedience, a thing I would not again allow. "Where your war leader rides is a matter to be 
considered only by her and Mida." 

for disobedience, a thing I would not again allow. "Where your war leader rides is a matter to be 
considered only by her and Mida." 

"A male, to stand with the war leader?" demanded Ilvin in outrage as I began to turn to Chaldrin to 
rebuke him. "Where stands Jalav, there stands Ilvin, for whom no male has yet proven a match!" 

"You have been commanded to return to your own, girl," grumbled Chaldrin with calm as I turned again 
toward Ilvin. "Best you obey and leave swordwork for those possessing skill." 

"For a male to speak of skill is like unto a sednet speaking of flight," returned Ilvin disdainfully. She stood 
before Chaldrin with head high and left hand resting upon sword hilt, taking no note of the manner in 
which he folded his arms across his chest, hiding sight of his leather-wrapped wrists. "Should the war 
leader require one to stand with her," said Ilvin, "she will require more than the presence of a male. 
Should she require none to stand with her, then would the presence of a male be fitting." 

Chaldrin seemed greatly annoyed, but I did not want to remain and hear what his reply to Ilvin would be. 
I thought that two difficulties might easily be left to see to one another, therefore did I step within the 
cavern shadows as a prelude to departing without. the notice of all those who so fervently wished to ride 
with me. Perhaps Mida knew how all those offering assistance might be easily avoided, yet I did not. 

"Hosta war leader." The words, softly spoken, came from the shadows I had entered, and then was the 
dark-haired Summa warrior before me, her light-haired sister at her right shoulder. "It pleased us to find it 
Mida's will that we escape the capture of those males," said the dark-haired Summa, her eyes continuing 
to rest upon me. "I am Wedin, and my sister is Dotil. We have no need to be told that you are Jalav, war 
leader of the Hosta, for we know you. We had not known, however, that you had become war leader to 
all of your clans, for never before has such a happening occurred. Our clans were taken with great 
surprise when it was discovered that all of our enemy sisters had left their lands, and we would know 
where they have gone. It was you, as war leader, who led them from their home tents, was it not?" 

"Not precisely," said I, feeling a sigh take me. I had not known it was to begin so quickly, yet must there 
always, in every undertaking, be a beginning. "Our clans of the Midanna were led to the lands of males 
by Relis, our Keeper, who was directed by Mida in a dream. I, who was elsewhere, was sent by Mida 
to join them, and then did I become war leader of all of the clans. With all of our warriors fighting as a 
single clan, we were able to take and hold a city of males." 

"You took a city?" asked Dotil, she of the light hair, her voice and face filled with delight. "Ah, Mida! 
Would that I had been there! The battle must truly have been glorious!" 

"I see a thing more glorious still," said Wedin, her dark eyes soberly upon me as I smiled at the words of 
Dotil. "It was Mida herself who commanded the attack against the males? Mida who speaks to your 
clans as she does not to ours? Are we, also, to be sent as one clan against the males? Are we, also, to be 
spoken to?" 

"Your clans have already been spoken to," said I, attempting to soothe the anxiety of the Summa. "I am 
the chosen of the goddess and have been directed to go to your clans and summon them to the great 
battle which approaches. All Midanna warriors are to fight as sisters, and I--I am to lead you." 

"Mida preserve us all," muttered Wedin with a sigh, both comments fitting companions to Dotil's look of 
pain. "I mean no offense, Hosta, yet do I anticipate the response of my clan and our sister clans to the 
tidings that we are to follow a Hosta and call her war leader. Though Dotil and I are aware of the willing 


assistance given us by you, the others of our sisters were not bound beside us. They heard naught of the 
manner in which you called Hitta and Summa to battle, and will believe that you sought to aid the Hitta 
alone-or that you thought us Hitta as well. Wisest would be to see one of our own as leader to us." 

assistance given us by you, the others of our sisters were not bound beside us. They heard naught of the 
manner in which you called Hitta and Summa to battle, and will believe that you sought to aid the Hitta 
alone-or that you thought us Hitta as well. Wisest would be to see one of our own as leader to us." 

"Jalav, it cannot be!" said Dotil, interrupting my words in sudden upset, her light eyes wide. "The visiting! 
It was nearly the time for the visiting when we fell to capture! Should we depart for Midanna lands upon 
the moment, it will surely be in the midst of the visiting when we arrive!" 

Wedin voiced a groan of memory suddenly recalled, and I, too, felt a great urge to give sound to the pain 
of understanding. Once each kalod do the various clans come together to a place of meeting, to greet 
sisters long unseen, to speak of the various battles each has fought in since the last meeting, to greet and 
give congratulations to new war leaders and newly blooded warriors, to look upon what males now 
followed those who allowed it. Each clan was bound to bring two newly learned things to share with its 
sister clans, things such as battle strategies, and hunting techniques, and insights in gando-breaking and 
handling, and weapons usage. At much the same time of the kalod do our two groups meet, each upon 
lands of their own clans, a truce of sorts existing at that time. Neither seeks out the meeting place of the 
other, and had my sister clans not ridden to take a city of males, they too would have been in the midst of 
visiting among their own. The two Summa continued to look upon me in upset, yet no alternate choice 
was possible to me. 

"There is naught for it save that I face all nine clans at once," said I, drawing and releasing a long, deep 
breath. "Surely do I give thanks that Mida's shield stands before me, and surely shall I give even greater 
thanks if it continues to remain so. It seems clear I shall have need of it." 

I raised my cup of falar to my lips and drank, finding that my mind already grappled with the problem I 
would face, and then another thought came to me. Much had I believed that my efforts in freeing Ilvin and 
the two Summa had caused anger in Mida, yet now it seemed more than likely that it was meant that I do 
so. Had I ridden on and left them to their capture, I would have found no single clan in its home tents, the 
locations of which I knew only a very few, nor would I have been able to easily discover the place of 
visiting. Much precious time would have been lost in search, easily more than that which had passed since 
I had left the city of the Sigurri. The lands of the Midanna are vast, and not easily searched through; with 
the Summa to guide me, however, the problem would no longer be of concern. 

"Nine clans, you said," remarked Wedin, clearly a warrior alert to all which went on about her. "You are 
aware, then, of the disappearance of the Silla. Their actions were exceedingly strange for some time, and 
then were they one fey gone from their home tents, no word left even with the Keeper's Attendants who 
cared for their warriors-to-be. Have you knowledge of their fate?" 

"Indeed I do," said I, looking about me at the greater stirrings among the Sigurri males. Soon would they 
be prepared to do whatever it was that they meant to do, therefore would it be best if the Summa and I 
departed. I gestured toward the cavern opening, directly across the cavern floor rather than through the 
shadows, and said, "As we journey, I shall be pleased to inform you of the happenings which now 
concern your clans as well as ours. Best would be that we depart as quickly as possible." 

"Indeed," agreed Wedin, looking about as I had, Dotil also aware of the stirring. "I find discomfort in the 
midst of so many males, despite their having offered us no indignity and no harm. Had our weapons not 
been returned to us, surely would we have awaited you in the forests to extend our thanks. I dislike the 


way these males look upon me." 

way these males look upon me." 

"I, too, have tasted a small number of them," said Wedin with a shrug, "yet is it their sword skill which I 
find most amazing. With practice would many of them reach nearly to the level of a warrior, and never 
have I before seen such a thing. What manner of males are these?" 

"They are called Sigurri," said I, draining the cup of falar before tossing it from me. "Their swords will 
stand beside ours in the coming battle, for it is Mida's will that it be so. This, too, shall you be told of 
upon the journey." 

I turned from their nods and began to make my way across the cavern, my stride quick and my heart 
eager to be free within the forests once again. There is little to compare with the glorious freedom of 
Mida's forests, and I continued to find myself unable to comprehend the attraction found by males in 
shelters of all sorts. When they were without dwellings they sought caves, forever locking themselves 
away from-

My thoughts ceased abruptly as my foot came down upon that which was not stone, my stride sending 
me forward another full pace before surprise and curiosity halted me. The Summa, following behind, 
halted as well, questioning clear in their eyes as I turned and bent to that which lay upon the stone floor of 
the cavern. My fingers found a small leather pouch, the strings of which had been cleanly severed, and 
within-within was a good supply of small, coarse brown grains well mixed with some bits of yellow 
grains. I stood unmoving as I gazed within the sack, not comprehending, but growing excited 
nevertheless. 

"A sack without a pipe," said Wedin, some small interest in her tone. "Of what use is a sack without a 
pipe?" 

"None," said I, finally bestirring myself to draw the sack closed again and knot the severed strings to a tie 
of my breech. "This sack, however, was that which was cut from the belt of the male Gengan when 
Nobain slew him. By the male's own words was he a Pathfinder, one whose spirit is released to walk 
free in the White Land when enveloped in the Clouds of Seeing. These grains will allow my spirit the 
same freedom-with none to halt me. Has either of you a pipe?" 

"Not I," said Wedin, Dotil agreeing with a shrug and a shake of her head. "What is this White Land you 
speak of, and what might be the Clouds of Seeing?" 

"Our journey may prove of insufficient length to allow the telling of all I have learned in the service of 
Mida," said I, considerably annoyed yet unable to alter matters. Clearly had I been set upon the trail of 
the males for a purpose other than simply freeing and following the Summa, for now the White Land was 
mine with Lialt unable to keep me from it as he had upon the first occasion. The brother of Ceralt was 
also a Pathfinder, the chief tracker of the White Lands for those of his village, a male who had feared my 
presence in a place where heretofore only he had gone. I recalled that the male Gengan had spoken of 
seeing Nobain's death upon the Snows, yet had the male clearly been less skilled at reading the tracks of 
the White Land than Lialt. Red-haired Gengan had failed to see that his own death would occur first, 
Nobain's coming only later at the hands of Mehrayn, who was also red-haired. It was perhaps possible 
that their signs were nearly the same upon the Snows. I would need to spend much time in the White 
Lands before I might claim familiarity with the place, yet at the end of that time would my skill far exceed 


that of Lialt. There was little a male might do that a warrior could not easily match and better, and as 
soon as I found the opportunity to make a pipe, I would begin my conquest of the White Land. 

that of Lialt. There was little a male might do that a warrior could not easily match and better, and as 
soon as I found the opportunity to make a pipe, I would begin my conquest of the White Land. 

"I have not yet given you greeting for the new light, wench," said he, gazing down into my eyes as he 
drew me close. "The taste of that which will break my fast is far inferior to the taste of your lips. First I 
shall have the superior, and the inferior." 

His lips lowered to mine, hungrily demanding as ever they were, yet was I filled full with the memory of 
the darkness. The nearness of the male was as naught to me, my body completely uncaring; in no more 
than a moment was the male aware of my lack of response, and then did his head raise once again. 

"When my hands are upon you, my wits are ever elsewhere," he muttered, annoyance clear in the green 
of his eyes. "Your life sign must first be removed before the softness and warmth again return to you, and 
this has not been done. Let us see to it quickly, and then we may-" 

His words ended as his eyes sought my life sign in vain, his hand lifting to where it normally hung, halting 
as well. No more than my breasts did his seeking gaze find, and when his eyes returned to mine they at 
last perceived the coldness therein. I had no words for the male for my fury remained too high; I had no 
wish to speak except in challenge, and such speech was useless. The male would meet me if I pressed 
the matter, yet would he refuse to strike, just as Chaldrin had said. Honor forbade that I draw weapon 
against him for the matter between us was not a blood debt, yet was I perilously close to the wish that it 
was. All this was the male able to see in my eyes, and a deep sigh took him. 

"I would know, O Sigurr, why all females must be cut from the same cloth," said he, raising his eyes to 
the unseen roof of the cavern far above as he folded his arms across his chest. "Ever do they insist upon 
doing as they wish, yet when those doings earn them a punishment it is the man who punishes them whom 
they blame, rather than the doings they, themselves, have insisted upon. As a man is able to forgive their 
foolishness, so should they find it within themselves to forgive that man the doing of the necessary." 

The foolishness of the male was incredible, therefore did I turn and walk from him, again attempting to 
depart. I had no understanding of the nonsense he spoke, nor did I feel a wish to understand. I wished 
for no more than a great deal of distance between us, yet was my wish fated to be ignored. 

"The while you ready kand for yourself and those other wenches," Mehrayn called after me, "I shall 
gather up that which will break my fast upon the trail. I have no wish to cause further delay in our 
departure." 

"Our departure?" echoed Dotil from behind me, she seeing naught of the urge within me to bare my teeth. 
"Does the male follow you, Jalav? Surely you cannot mean to allow him to follow you to the visiting 
place?" 

"The male seems one who obeys naught save his own desires," remarked Wedin, who now strode along 
beside me, to my right. "Should he refuse to take himself from the midst of Midanna doings, you will, of 
course, speak to him with swords. " 

"I cannot," I replied, vexation strong within me, too well aware of Wedin's dark eyes upon me. "The male 
has aided me too often, returned my life and freedom too often, for me now to take his life. Also has he 


sworn that he will never raise weapon to me, for once I kept him from the claws and teeth of the keren. It 
must be through Mida's efforts that he rides elsewhere than upon my track, and surely will she see it so. 
She knows even better than we that I cannot lead a free male to the visiting place." 

sworn that he will never raise weapon to me, for once I kept him from the claws and teeth of the keren. It 
must be through Mida's efforts that he rides elsewhere than upon my track, and surely will she see it so. 
She knows even better than we that I cannot lead a free male to the visiting place." 

"Another?" said Dotil with vast disbelief, stepping forward to study a calmly amused Chaldrin. "Should 
this continue, war leader, our clans will believe themselves under attack by males at your arrival. Also will 
your numbers be greater than theirs." 

"I find little amusement in this state of affairs, warrior," said I, the growl in my tone bringing a chuckle not 
only to Chaldrin but to Dotil and Wedin as well. "The why of my having been burdened by Mida with 
males without number is beyond me, yet do they surely move to her bidding. Come the time she plans 
for, the males will serve their purpose and then shall they be gone from beneath our feet. Should the effort 
not be beyond all those who so ardently wish to ride with me, let us now find mounts and at last be on 
our way." 

My annoyance was great as I took myself from the cavern room toward the entrance to the caves, so 
great that nearly did I forget that the kand were kept in a cavern to the opposite side of the entrance. I 
allowed the strong odor of kand to turn my steps in the proper direction, and then entered the long, close 
corridor which was the cavern of the mounts. Many kand were tied to either side of the torchlit stone 
area, each with fodder aplenty to keep it satisfied, and there, near to the front of the area, was the yellow 
and brown kan which I had ridden and left in the forests. It gave me pleasure to see the beast, and as 
Wedin and Dotil began the search for mounts of their own, I went to my kan and began to run my hands 
over him. 

"The animal remains sound," said Chaldrin from very near, clearly having followed after once again. "I, 
myself, fetched him from where you had left him, for I knew you would need him again. His track was 
easily followed through the forests, most especially with the signposts so thoughtfully left for us." 

"Signposts?" I asked, continuing to give the kan my attention. "Of what do you speak?" 

"The carcasses of those who were once followers of the Oneness," said Chaldrin, a chuckle again 
accompanying his words. "Your bow was well occupied during your feyd of travel, as was your dagger 
upon your arrival here. We observed the entrance of a man alone as we considered the best means of 
approach to this place, and saw that no sentry attempted to halt him. As he entered so did we, yet did he 
overlook the remains of the one meant to guard against us, as we did not. Should he have neglected to 
give you thanks for your effort, allow me to repair the omission." 

"Thanks for an effort which was undoubtedly merely adequate?" I asked, at last turning to look upon the 
male. "Had I had true skill, they would all of them have fallen to me, is this not so?" 

"There are limits to the doings of even one with true skill," returned the male, amused rather than abashed 
at mention of the litany he had so often infuriated me with in the Caverns of the Doomed. "Had I been 
beside you when you came to this place, considerably more of the dross would have fallen to us, yet 
alone-your efforts were adequate." 

I voiced a sound of disgust with the male, which brought further chuckling upon him, yet before I might 


take the matter further I detected the trace of a familiar odor. I sniffed, then sniffed again, then turned my 
head toward Chaldrin. 

take the matter further I detected the trace of a familiar odor. I sniffed, then sniffed again, then turned my 
head toward Chaldrin. 

"I am aware of no odor save that of kand," replied Chaldrin, testing the air as I had. "From what direction 
does it come?" 

"From there," said I, nodding toward the far end of the cavern. With that did I begin to walk in that 
direction, and Chaldrin came behind me, continuing to test the air for that which I had spoken of. We had 
nearly passed the last of the kand when the male put a hand to my arm, halting our steps. 

"Your senses are keen indeed, wench," said he, looking toward the darkness at the far end of the cavern. 
"The odor you detected is one I am well familiar with, for the precincts in which I spent so long a time are 
well imbued with traces of it. It is a vapor called Sigurr's Breath, and many of the unused caverns below 
and about the Caverns of the Doomed are filled with it. In slight traces such as here and in the Caverns, it 
appears to be harmless. In places where it holds full sway its presence is deadly, the power of it able to 
fell a man full grown at first breath, and thereafter take the life from him. I had not known it was to be 
found in any place other than beneath our city-and perhaps it is not." 

"What foolishness do you speak?" I asked, at last having recalled the odd odor from the time of my 
arrival at the Caverns of the Doomed. "How might this Sigurr's Breath be only beneath your city, and at 
the same time be here?" 

"The Caverns run a very great distance below the ground," said Chaldrin, his eyes busily taking in all they 
might. "How far a distance none truly know, for many have been lost in an attempt to learn the truth. 
Those who have lived to return and speak of their attempts have told of vast caverns, each beyond 
another, the traversal of which took feyd in the doing. The greatest difficulty was in retracing their paths, 
for the twistings and turnings were so like one unto the other that those careless enough to make no sign 
marks of their passage quickly became lost. It seems likely that Sigurr's city now stands in greater safety 
than before, due entirely to your having noted a familiar odor." 

"Never have I failed to note that males take great delight in speaking so that a warrior is unable to 
comprehend them," said I, standing myself before the male so that he might see my annoyance. "How 
might Sigurr's city find safety from my having detected an odor?" 

Chaldrin's broad face took on a smile of amusement. "As the followers of the Oneness chose these 
caverns in which to shelter and hide their presence," said he, "it appears they meant to attack the city 
from below once they had gathered sufficient numbers. Likely the force which was met by the legions of 
the Sword was the one meant to accomplish the attack, yet there is little sense in considering the matter 
over and done with. Those of the city will need to block and guard their own entrances to the lower 
caverns, and then will the threat of attack from that direction be negated. Had you not noticed the odor, 
those in the city would continue to stand in jeopardy, therefore do they now stand instead in your debt. 
Why have you wound the leather of your life sign about the hilt of your dagger rather than hanging it 
about your neck?" 

The abruptness of his question and his sobriety took me unawares, bringing to me at first a feeling of 
outrage. Never in all my kalod as a warrior and war leader had males made so bold as to enmesh 
themselves in my doings, yet from the time I had begun traveling in their lands, they had done little else. I 
had long since grown weary of the intrusion, no matter the curiosity which prompted it, and there was 
little reason to allow it to continue. 


"Speak to me first of the reasons for which you were condemned to the Caverns of the Doomed," I 
retorted, taking his gaze and holding it with mine. Much did I expect the male to withdraw in insult at the 
boorishness of the demand, yet he did no more than smile faintly. 

"Speak to me first of the reasons for which you were condemned to the Caverns of the Doomed," I 
retorted, taking his gaze and holding it with mine. Much did I expect the male to withdraw in insult at the 
boorishness of the demand, yet he did no more than smile faintly. 

The cool of the cavern continued to bring comfort to my body, yet the heat of shame entered my cheeks 
so that I found I must look away from the male who continued to gaze upon me with undisturbed calm. 
Once had Chaldrin refused to speak of the reason for the condemnation of one of his males, the question 
having then been put by Aysayn during our time in the Caverns. For him to now speak of his own 
condemnation was a sharing I had not expected nor, in my opinion, one that I merited. After sharing 
battle with him I had spoken of my willingness to call Chaldrin sister-brother, as he was male-yet my 
actions toward him had been colored with the awareness of his maleness and no other thing. The male 
had done naught to be slighted in such a manner, and would have been well within his rights to offer me 
challenge for the doing. A greasy, knotted lock of hair fell across my shoulder into my view, and I shook 
it back with impatience. 

"Many are the males who have offered Jalav shame and insult," said I, the words coming with difficulty. 
"Chaldrin, too, offered Jalav the same, yet was he filled with sufficient honor to also allow her the 
challenge, which the others had not. I have wrapped my life sign about the hilt of my dagger for a reason 
I do not yet fully understand, for I feel a great reluctance to don that which is, in fact, the guardian of my 
soul. Perhaps the matter will be resolved with the passage of time, yet now I must leave it as it currently 
stands. Should you wish to give me the challenge, I will not refuse you." 

I then attempted to pass him and return to where my kan stood tied, yet his arm came up before me and 
halted my steps. With great gentleness did his hand turn me toward him again, and I looked up to see the 
continued sobriety of his gaze. 

"Shame and insult and no mention of pain," said he, looking hurt. "Is pain, then, a thing you have come to 
expect from all men as a matter of course? I give Sigurr my most profound thanks that I am now able to 
stand by your side, girl, to see that no further pain comes to you. The punishment I gave you was at the 
time justified, yet do I now regret it as I regret little else in my life. In reparation to you and the gods do I 
now offer a lifetime of service, no matter the length of that lifetime. Should I also find the need to give my 
life, I will do so gladly." 

"Chaldrin may well find himself eternally occupied," said I, smiling faintly. "A warrior may indeed expect 
only pain from a male. Have you no intention, then, of offering me the challenge?" 

"I most certainly have no intention of offering you the challenge," said he, suddenly amused. "I would not 
have the lifetime I spoke of abruptly shortened, for Treglin is no longer about to reclaim my errors. 
Perhaps I will one fey try you again with a weapon other than the sword, yet one which is shielded. 
Solely to be sure, of course, lest you prove yourself-adequate." 

Gentle laughter came to me then, laughter which the male shared, and then did we both turn about and 
retrace our steps through the dimness to where Wedin and Dotil attempted to choose mounts. Little 
knowledge of kand did the Summa have, yet was Chaldrin able to indicate those mounts which had 
belonged to the followers of the Oneness, and I able to speak upon the most important points. The male 
left us to the choosing, yet had he returned in the few reckid necessary for the Summa to prepare 


themselves. His mount stood near to mine, therefore did we walk together behind the Summa in our 
departure from the cavern; the Summa passed through toward the outer air, eager to try for themselves 
the kand they had chosen, and one who had nearly been forgotten by me stepped out before me, 
determined persistence visible even in her upset. 

themselves. His mount stood near to mine, therefore did we walk together behind the Summa in our 
departure from the cavern; the Summa passed through toward the outer air, eager to try for themselves 
the kand they had chosen, and one who had nearly been forgotten by me stepped out before me, 
determined persistence visible even in her upset. 

"Your request seems oddly familiar, Ilvin," I said, hiding my annoyance. "Upon the instance previous was 
my word disobeyed, yet this time I will not have it so. You ride to your clan and war leader and a 
punishment well earned, you do not ride with me." 

"And yet you allow males and Summa to accompany you!" protested the pale-haired warrior, a great 
indignation upon her. She stood before me with fists clenched tight, body squarely in my path, and much 
did I believe that she meant to remain so, even were I to lead my kan over her. "Have those who follow 
you loyally now been relegated to a place beneath males and Summa? Is a Hitta warrior too poor in your 
eyes to merit a place at your side? It is undeniable that I have disobeyed you, and equally undeniable that 
punishment has been earned; that punishment, however, need not be given by any save you." 

"You would have me give you punishment?" I asked, with even greater annoyance. It was scarcely my 
place to punish the warrior of another war leader, save that that warrior chose to stand with naked blade 
before me-or requested that I see to the matter. I might not honorably deny her request, for the doing 
was more favorably looked upon by Mida were she to expliate her disobedience directly with she who 
was disobeyed. I had not the time to devise an adequate punishment, nor had I clan sisters who might be 
called upon to aid in the thing, yet Ilvin cared not. She knew only that I might not honorably deny her 
request, and therefore would it be necessary that she accompany me; she now stood before me with a 
glint of satisfaction in the light of her eyes, no longer taken by upset, no longer indignant. That she showed 
no trace of smug accomplishment meant only that she retained a certain respect for the temper of a war 
leader, not that she felt naught of the feeling. I met the newly come complaisancy in her eyes with an 
anger which did naught to diminish it, then stumbled upon a thought possibly Mida-sent, which cooled my 
anger. So I was to give this warrior a punishment, was I? So I was to search for a thing to teach her 
reluctance for disobedience, such as living a hand of feyd in the forests alone, with naught save a dagger? 
I had not the time for a punishment such as that, yet might there be a thing considerably worse, for which 
there was ample time. 

"So, Ilvin, you would have me give you a punishment," I said with thoughtfulness, reaching over to stroke 
the soft brown nose of my kan. "It has given you great upset that I have been sent by Mida among males 
alone, yet have you neglected to think upon the reason for this. Mida had no wish to put the burden of 
such a thing upon more Midanna than necessary, therefore was Jalav bidden to ride alone. Should you 
remain with me and accept punishment from my hand, that punishment will be to learn a good deal more 
concerning males than your recent capture has taught you." 

"War leader, I do not take your meaning," said she, the satisfaction no longer in her eyes. A deal of 
unease and wariness had quickly replaced it, and her left hand had closed about the hilt of her sword. 

"My meaning is this, warrior," said I, a glance showing me Chaldrin's close, amused attention to the 
conversation. "Should it be your wish to take mount and return to your sisters, we shall speak no more of 
your accompanying me, nor shall I allow memory of this exchange to remain with me. Should it be your 
decision to remain, however, your punishment will be to serve this male beside me, obeying his every 
command, till my word releases you from the confinement. I shall not intercede in his treatment of you, 
nor shall I allow the Summa to do so. You will be his to do with as he wishes, and in such a manner will 
learn some small part of that which Mida wished to spare you. The decision is yours, and may be thought 


upon no longer than the time you require to join us upon the journey we now begin." 

upon no longer than the time you require to join us upon the journey we now begin." 

"You believe, then, that to be my woman would be a terrible punishment," came abruptly from the male. 
No tone at all had the voice of Chaldrin had, and I turned my head toward him in lack of understanding. 

"To be a slave-woman to any male is great punishment for any Midanna," I said, searching that part of his 
face which I was able to see, seeking some sign of the unexplained hurt which I felt rather than saw or 
heard. "I have need of the aid of a-brother, and as Chaldrin did not deny the bond, I had thought I might 
call upon him to assist me. Should it not be his wish to give such assistance, I will seek another to see to 
Ilvin. Again it was not my intention to give insult." 

A moment passed in silence and then Chaldrin's eyes were again upon me. "I am unused to your ways, 
wench, and therefore have difficulty in understanding what moves you," said he groping about for the 
phrases he wished. "It was my assistance you sought when you told the girl she must serve me? Another 
man would do as well for your purposes, and yet you chose me?" 

"Indeed," said I, refraining from pointing out that I had just said the same. "Though the matter hardly calls 
for sword use, I had not thought you would object." 

"I do not object," said he, amused and puzzled at once. "As for the matter requiring no sword use, such 
remains to be seen. Perhaps you forget that the wench and I exchanged several words. I would ask 
further, however, concerning another point made by you. You wenches are all of you called Midanna, 
and none of the Midanna wish to be-women-to men? You, yourself, feel the same?" 

"Most certainly," said I with a shrug. "Each Midanna knows well the fact that males are unable to see to 
themselves, therefore do they take females to see to their needs. Midanna are warriors, not city 
slave-women, therefore do we shun the company of males. Had I had any doubt upon the point, it would 
have been well seen to during my time with Ceralt and his Belsayah. Much did he strive to make Jalav a 
slave-woman, yet were his efforts in vain, as they were destined to be. Jalav is Mida's, and none may 
deny the will of the goddess." 

"I recall our discussion upon the matter of the notice of the gods," said he, thoughtfully. "For a man to 
defy the gods is futile, yet must one admire such a man for his attempt." Silence descended briefly as we 
left the bare, stoned area for the beginnings of the forests, and then a chuckle came from Chaldrin. "You 
believe the wench Ilvin will accept your punishment," said he, returning to our earlier converse. "Should 
she truly do so foolish a thing, what am I to do with her? You cannot mean that she be given hurt or pain, 
yet do you intend punishment for her. Of what is the punishment to consist?" 

"It must consist of a knowledge of that which obedience would have spared her," said I, keeping watch 
all about for the presence of hunting children of the wild. "I do indeed believe Ilvin will accept the 
punishment, for she continues to believe herself chosen to accompany me. It may well be that Mida sent 
her behind me so that I might more easily find the presence of the Summa, yet was it the track of another 
which I followed to where they were held. Ilvin must be made to know her error, therefore must you be 


unyielding with her, seeing that she serves you as though she were a female slave in your former domain. 
Should she disobey or displease you, you may punish her without giving her true harm and may, of 
course, use her as you please." 

unyielding with her, seeing that she serves you as though she were a female slave in your former domain. 
Should she disobey or displease you, you may punish her without giving her true harm and may, of 
course, use her as you please." 

"She will discover her error," said I with a sharing of amusement, looking to Chaldrin briefly before 
returning my gaze to where we rode. "For a warrior's sleeping leather, the male Chaldrin may be 
deemed-adequate." 

"It seems a fortunate thing that my sword word was given in support of you, wench," said he, a dryness 
to his tone as his gaze left me at last. "Had it not been, I might well have been tempted to defy the gods 
by taking a length of leather to their chosen." 

"Chaldrin had best save his length of leather till Jalav bears shielded weapons," said I, truly amused by his 
faint annoyance. "He will then have no need to call upon the aid of the gods." 

A gentle heel in the side of my kan sent it forward, leaving no more than the trail of soft laughter to 
accompany Chaldrin where he rode. Though the male did not merit true insult, it gave me pleasure to 
serve him some portion of the annoyance he had caused me during my time in the Caverns of the 
Doomed. Also would his annoyance bring a sharper lesson to Ilvin, who now foolishly thought herself 
untouchable by males by cause of the presence of her weapons. Too many were the males in those lands, 
and Ilvin no more than a warrior; were she to attempt true battle against them, she would not live to grow 
to the skill of a war leader. 

No more than a few reckid passed before I sighted the Summa, and less than another hand brought 
Chaldrin to our set. We four rode through the forests in silence for a time, and then did Wedin ask after 
Mida and the Silla and my time among the males. The tale truly began with the theft of Mida's Crystal and 
therefore did I begin it there, speaking also of the Silla and the manner in which they had attempted to 
trade their Crystal for males to serve them. The Summa fell to fury upon hearing of such sacrilege, yet 
was the action not unexpected by those who knew the Silla. I continued on, through my time in Bellinard 
and Ranistard, through the pain of the device which spoke to the strangers, through the capture of the 
Hosta and Silla, arriving at last at the words which had come to us from the deep blackness of the 
device. The strangers had presented themselves as distant kin to use, yet were they known to Mida as 
evil ones, beings who would take and enslave our entire world. Enemies were they to Mida, and to 
Sigurr as well, therefore would the Midanna and Sigurri stand together in battle against them. 

"This word was given me when I visited Mida in her realm upon this world," said I to Summa warriors 
who seemed much taken aback by my narrative. "I was given into the capture of Belsayah Riders, males 
who are led by Ceralt and his brother Lialt, and it was these males who were used by Mida to bring me 
to her presence. Telion, a male of Ranistard, also accompanies them, for those of Ranistard have not yet 
declared themselves willing to stand against the coming strangers as Ceralt and his males have. There will 
be little need for these others with our warriors and the Sigurri present, yet are they likely to attempt 
joining our ranks. Mida willing, that will not be till victory has already been granted us." 

"Your time among men has been truly difficult," said Chaldrin, for the first time bringing me memory of his 
presence. "Stolen from by those of Ranistard, enslaved in Bellinard, taken to Ranistard in capture-and 
captured again by those you call Belsayah. And yet no one of them was able to make permanent his hold 
upon you." 


"No more than the Sigurri of the Caverns," said I, looking upon the male with something of a smile. 
"Those males are fools who believe they might hold Jalav of the Midanna." 

"No more than the Sigurri of the Caverns," said I, looking upon the male with something of a smile. 
"Those males are fools who believe they might hold Jalav of the Midanna." 

The word, left unspoken, hung between us in a manner which removed the smile I had shown and 
brought Chaldrin to chuckling. Much did it seem the male would remain insolent forever, just as he had 
been even in defeat. I took my eyes from him and returned to converse with the Summa, and banished 
from my mind memory of the use he had put me to. 

The hind passed quickly in travel and talk, and soon were my insides rumbling with warning that Mida's 
light was near to approaching its highest. Neither Ilvin nor Mehrayn had yet appeared, giving me to hope 
that Mida had in some manner intervened and sent the male riding elsewhere than upon my track. Ilvin, 
however, was another matter, for although she had not yet joined our set, both the Summa and I were 
aware of her proximity. The Hitta warrior appeared to be in the midst of difficulty regarding her decision, 
and it had been necessary for me to explain her actions to the Summa, who believed it was their presence 
which kept Ilvin from joining us. Dotil laughed in amusement at the punishment I had proclaimed for the 
Hitta, then took herself off to seek out that which might be fed upon by our set. Wedin, however, was 
more disturbed than amused. 

"I mean no insult, Jalav," said she, "yet do I feel the punishment you proclaimed excessive. It is easily 
seen that I have more kalod than you, and though I am not a war leader, neither am I an innocent. To be 
bound so to a male will bring the Hitta great hurt, even more than our recent capture." 

"It will bring her considerably less hurt than would have come in true capture," said I, as Wedin glared at 
me. I rode with eyes straight ahead, observing the path my kan trod through the forests, my inner eye 
occupied with sight of things other than trees and leaves and bushes. "In Bellinard was I hung by the 
wrists and lashed by males, then locked away behind lines of metal the while other males attempted to 
trade for my possession. In Ranistard I was lashed again, then given to a male called Nolthis, who took 
use from me which brought pleasure to him alone. Also was I beaten with the swordbelt of this Nolthis, 
so that the leavings of the lash did not heal. Once away from Ranistard it was Ceralt and his Belsayah 
who stood my capture, males who attempted to 'take me from my savage existence and bring me to 
civilized ways.' To ride the forests in freedom was savage, to serve a male upon my knees civilized; to 
hunt and see to my own needs was savage, to do no other thing than take the dust and clutter from a 
male's dwelling civilized, to wear a sword and proudly wield it savage, to give eager use to all males sent 
to me civilized. No thing other than the will of Ceralt was I allowed, no thing other than that done by 
village females, much the same as city slave-women. Would you have had Ilvin share a capture such as 
that, Wedin? The shame and pain were so great that I sought to end my life, and was kept from it solely 
by the intervention of Mida. I had not yet been named war leader to all of our clans at that time, yet 
would I have you assume that I had been, and that Ilvin had taken it upon herself to follow me. What then 
would have been her lot? It required the direct intercession of Mida to free me, for I could not free 
myself; what would have been the fate of Ilvin, who had not been chosen to ride for Mida and Sigurr? 
Do you continue to believe the punishment I decreed too harsh, despite the fact that this male beside me 
will not allow true harm to come to the foolish warrior?" 

"No," said Wedin in a whisper, and I turned my head to see the reflection of deep hurt in her eyes. "I had 
not thought upon what service to Mida might mean for you, Jalav, and now do I clearly see the reason no 
other is to be war leader to all clans of Midanna. There are likely to be few indeed who are able to show 
the strength demanded by the goddess, few indeed who have been tested so harshly and thoroughly. The 


glory of such a place is endless, yet do I give eternal thanks to Mida that another place has been given 
me. My strength had ever been my pride, yet do I now gladly put such pride behind me. May I ask what 
assurance you have that that male will give no harm to the Hitta? All know the perfidy of males, and how 
greatly lacking they are in a sense of honor." 

glory of such a place is endless, yet do I give eternal thanks to Mida that another place has been given 
me. My strength had ever been my pride, yet do I now gladly put such pride behind me. May I ask what 
assurance you have that that male will give no harm to the Hitta? All know the perfidy of males, and how 
greatly lacking they are in a sense of honor." 

"Sigurr" muttered Chaldrin, looking upon me with brows drawn low. "I know not whether the wench 
gives me praise or insult! Should I continue to spend time among these wenches, I will soon come to 
heartily regret my manhood." 

"Should it be your intention to continue to follow the war leader, male," said Wedin, reluctant amusement 
upon her at Chaldrin's words, "you had best be certain that your manhood is not forgotten. Should it be, 
she will no longer find a reason for your presence." 

"A reason for my presence," echoed Chaldrin, his brows remaining low though this time in lack of 
understanding, his eyes upon Wedin. "Should I forget my manhood, she will no longer-" His words ended 
abruptly as his skin darkened somewhat, and then was he entirely indignant. After a moment he blew out 
a breath of vexation before moving his gaze to me. "I had not known I was to serve your pleasure, 
wench," he growled. "Shall I come to you when darkness has fallen, or am I to await your summons?" 

"Chaldrin would do well to recall that Jalav did not take him in capture," said I, continuing to feel 
amusement. "It was his decision alone to follow Jalav, all the while knowing that Jalav was a war leader. 
To fill the sleeping leather of a war leader is a great honor for a male, yet should Chaldrin feel unequal to 
the task, I would not distress him by pressing the matter. That he has ever felt little desire for Jalav is 
known to her, yet does one discount such things with one who has been called brother." 

"It amuses you to put the feather to me," said the male, yet his annoyance was no longer evident. In truth 
a gleam of amusement had entered his eyes, and then he chuckled. "I feel greatly relieved that you are 
aware of how little desire I have ever felt for you, yet must I confess to a vast confusion over the duties I 
am to assume in your service. Never would I refuse the honor of a place in your sleeping leather, yet 
what of the wench Ilvin? Should she appear and accept the punishment you have demanded, am I to 
bring her to your sleeping leather as well? And what of Sigurr's Sword, who will undoubtedly join us 
before the fey has ended? He, too, will expect a place in your sleeping leather. A war leader of Midanna 
wenches must surely have the widest sleeping leather known to our world-upon which no sleeping is 
accomplished." 

"Insolent yet amusing," allowed Wedin with a chuckle of her own as I looked upon Chaldrin with 
annoyance. "Once he has been taught the proper manner with warriors and war leaders, he will surely be 
in great demand among those who follow you, Jalav. Should his ability to please prove a match to his 
size, you will undoubtedly find it necessary to command rest for him." 

"I will not see him used beyond his limits to endure, Wedin, of that you may be sure," said I, grimly 
pleased with the instant annoyance which took Chaldrin. The male disliked the manner in which warriors 
discussed him, yet had it been his choice alone to follow me. "For this journey the question will scarcely 


arise, for the male is free and may sleep in any warrior's leather he chooses--or none at all. As for the 
male Mehrayn"-and with these words I looked straight upon Chaldrin-"he may sleep in any leather save 
mine. Should he make the attempt, my dagger will taste of his blood despite any question of honor. Are 
my words clear to you?" 

arise, for the male is free and may sleep in any warrior's leather he chooses--or none at all. As for the 
male Mehrayn"-and with these words I looked straight upon Chaldrin-"he may sleep in any leather save 
mine. Should he make the attempt, my dagger will taste of his blood despite any question of honor. Are 
my words clear to you?" 

"You would have me believe you fear the sword of Mehrayn?" I demanded angrily. "That male may say 
naught to the one I choose to take for pleasure, else shall he find himself facing my sword! As I fail to 
fear him, for what reason would you not feel the same? Are we not nearly of a comparable skill?" 

"Indeed are we nearly of a comparable skill," said Chaldrin, and again a dryness had entered his tone. "I 
am sure, however, that you have never witnessed the full skill of the Sword, else would you speak with 
less derision at mention of my reluctance to face him. He won his place shortly before my condemnation 
to the Caverns, and never, before or since, have I seen one to match him. I was the best of the Caverns, 
girl, and I fell to the magic of your swordplay through ill luck; as well matched as we are, it might as easily 
have gone the other way about. Give thanks that Mehrayn will not raise sword to you, my fine Midanna 
war leader; were either of us to face him in true battle, we both would fall." 

The eyes of Chaldrin looked directly upon me, demanding a belief in the words he spoke, refusing to see 
how angry I was. Wedin attempted to question me upon the strangeness of a male believing he might 
share a war leader's sleeping leather, yet was it beyond me to discuss the matter. I assured the Summa I 
meant no insult, then did I put heels to my kan and take myself from the midst of others, into the forests 
where my thoughts might be calmed without distraction. 

I rode for perhaps three hands of reckid at high speed before coming upon the small glade, and once 
through it I slowed my kan and turned about, then reentered it and dismounted. I had felt a great need for 
speed and solitude, yet the speed had done naught save tire my kan, and the solitude had done naught in 
any manner. The light of Mida had brought the high heat of the land, and once dismounted I was again 
able to feel it, its presence underscoring my longstanding need to bathe in cool, cleansing waters. I 
pushed away the agitation within me as well, yet the effort was useless. An unexplained fury blazed high 
within me, and no thought or deed seemed able to quench it. 

Leaving my kan to feed upon grass and leaves I began to circle the glade, attempting to force my left 
hand from my sword hilt, attempting to allow the peace and loveliness of the glade to calm the swirling 
disturbance which turned my pace to a furious stride. What disturbed me most was that I knew not why I 
felt such fury, save that the actions of Mehrayn had had much to do with it. He had given my body great 
pleasure the last darkness, yet when I had attempted to leave him and ride as Mida demanded, he had 
given me humiliation equally as great. 

"Where do you think to go, wench," he had asked as I reached a hand out toward my breech, which lay 
beside the lenga pelt. His palm touched my back beneath my hair and stroked its way down, the broad 
strength of the hand nearly reawakening the heat in my blood. 

"I go where I have been bidden to go," I gave answer, quickly denying my reluctance to depart. "The 
sooner I depart, the sooner I shall arrive at my destination." 


"And the sooner find the necessity for facing those other savage wenches," said he, pulling me from the 
place where I reached toward my breech, back onto his chest. He lay flat upon the lenga pelt, both 
hands now holding me to him, a defiance in the green of his eyes which boded ill for both of us. "Yet have 
you forgotten that you are forbidden to ride without my presence, and that punishment has not yet been 
given you. I would see the manner in which a chosen of the gods accepts punishment." 

"And the sooner find the necessity for facing those other savage wenches," said he, pulling me from the 
place where I reached toward my breech, back onto his chest. He lay flat upon the lenga pelt, both 
hands now holding me to him, a defiance in the green of his eyes which boded ill for both of us. "Yet have 
you forgotten that you are forbidden to ride without my presence, and that punishment has not yet been 
given you. I would see the manner in which a chosen of the gods accepts punishment." 

"Must you, indeed," he murmured, those green eyes upon me, his arms remaining metal-like about me. 
"You speak of my defying the gods, yet do I see no one other than you whom I defy. Do you fancy 
yourself a god, wench? To me you seem no more than a willful girl child, one who has earned strict 
punishment with her willfulness. Had you listened to reason your life would not have been nearly lost, and 
now you again turn a deaf ear to the voice of reason. Remain here this darkness, and with the new light 
we shall ride out together, having put all thoughts of punishment behind us." 

"Mehrayn forgets that his thoughts are not the ones to be considered," said I, beginning to squirm against 
him in an effort to free myself. "The punishment of the gods may not be avoided by putting thoughts of it 
from one's mind. I have not been healed so that I might dally through another darkness with a male, 
therefore are you to release me now!" 

"Sigurr is my witness, I made the effort," said Mehrayn with a sigh, and then did he straighten himself to 
sitting without releasing his hold upon me. His gaze was stern and impatient which would indeed have 
been fitting if directed toward an erring warrior-to-be, and I felt a flash of anger that he would look upon 
me so. Jalav was a war leader, not the child he had named her! Again I attempted to deny his strength, 
yet was the effort as futile as ever. 

"Apparently you spoke with truth when you said the punishment of the gods may not be avoided," said 
Mehrayn, wrapping his great hands about my wrists as I beat at him with useless fists. Without effort 
were my arms put behind me, both wrists then held in a single hand, the struggle I attempted doing no 
more than rubbing my bare flesh upon his. "Also did he speak truth when you said you are not to dally 
further with a man. There will be no dalliance in what now comes to you, wench, and should you find 
yourself able afterward to take to the trail as you insist you must, I will not fail to see it as the will of the 
gods. For now it is I who dispenses the will of the gods, and my own will as well." 

He looked deeply into my eyes for a moment before taking my lips with strength, and surely did a 
trembling begin within me at his words. I had seen no indication of a lash in his possession, yet did it seem 
that he promised me no other thing. I knew of no other manner in which I might be kept from doing as I 
must, and although I struggled again to free myself from his hand upon my wrists and his fist in my hair, a 
numbness had entered me which quickly took my strength. I had not thought Mehrayn would do me so, 
yet was there ever the possibility that he did indeed move to the will of the gods. Withdrawing from his 
lips proved an impossibility, he held me so tightly, and then was his demand done. 

"I had not thought you would be so anxious to begin," said he, a dryness to his tone. "Though you greet 
the doings of the gods with full unconcern, I had forgotten you seek always to do men the same. Perhaps 
you will now be taught better." 

With such words did Mehrayn then put his free arm about me, and quickly was I turned so that I now lay 
upon him, belly down upon his thighs. My wrists continued to be held by his hand, and an instant later 
was my hair thrown forward so that it fell all about my face and head. Again I struggled, confused as to 


where his lash might be, and then was I touched in another manner, which banished all thoughts of a lash 
and brought great indignation to me. The open hand of the male had struck my bottom, bringing me 
humiliation rather than agony, and as he continued to strike me in the same manner, I knew that agony 
would have been much the easier to bear. 

where his lash might be, and then was I touched in another manner, which banished all thoughts of a lash 
and brought great indignation to me. The open hand of the male had struck my bottom, bringing me 
humiliation rather than agony, and as he continued to strike me in the same manner, I knew that agony 
would have been much the easier to bear. 

"You should have been done in this manner kalod ago," said the accursed male, continuing to strike me 
with the flat of his hand. "It would surely have taught you moderation in your doings, and would as surely 
have kept you from greater hurt. Perhaps it would be well if I gave my word to see you done in this 
manner each time you attempt defiance and disobedience, most especially with the gods. This punishment 
is most suitable for disobedient girl children, even should it please them to call themselves elsewise. You 
have been a naughty girl child, Jalav, and now do you pay the price." 

I snarled again in wordless rage, twisting about with all of my strength, yet helpless against the strength of 
this male. 

The male who held me now gained his will, for the accursed strength of his arm allowed him to continue 
striking me for an endless time, far longer than I was able to bear without truly feeling the thing. I had 
given him no sound which might be taken for weakness, yet was I shaken nearly as much as I was 
enraged. Once had Ceralt done me nearly the same, he having pursued me about a tent to strike so 
rather than holding me as Mehrayn did, and I had then been certain that the punishment was Mida-sent, 
for the goddess to allow a male to do me so. When Mehrayn released me the thought came again, for 
surely I knew I could not sit a kan. In truth I thought it possible that walking was beyond me, and so 
deep was the humiliation I felt that I knelt where Mehryan had put me, my head to the lenga fur, my eyes 
closed tight, my fists holding my hair to my face so that I might not be seen in my shame. Tears of rage 
had long since stained my cheeks, yet was such a rage useless, for without a weapon I could not regain 
my own from the male. And should the punishment indeed have been Mida-sent, even a weapon to hand 
would avail me naught. I knelt so in silence for a few short reckid, attempting to quiet the shudder 
breathing put upon me, and a sigh came from the male who had caused it all. 

"The pain of a punishment should not be for he who gives is as for she who receives it," said Mehrayn, 
naught of the satisfaction he surely felt evident in his voice. "Had I not felt this doing necessary to your 
well-being, Sigurr would surely have taken me before I was able to find the fill to strike you. I know that 
once again I am no other thing than a 'male' to you, yet do I accept the designation gladly, for I also 
know that your safety this darkness is assured. A man who is willing to give his life for a wench, must also 
be willing to forgo her approval of his actions where her safety is concerned. You may lie upon the lenga 
pelt without concern, wench, for I shall bring you no further hurt this darkness." 

His hands came to me then and removed the mass of hair from before me, ignoring the manner in which I 
attempted to thrust him away. The shame I felt was greater than the ache he had given me, yet was it 
necessary that I force my eyes open in order that I might see what I was about. Much had I expected a 
look of ridicule and derision upon the broad face of the male, a look which would surely have increased 
my shame, however, sight brought me no such hateful gloating. Filled with hurt were the green eyes of the 
male, seemingly a hurt for that which he had done. He showed regret, yet was there hurt to match the 
hurt he had given me. His hand came to brush at the freely falling tears upon my cheek, and then were his 
arms about me, holding me tightly to his chest. I had no true desire to be held by him for the useless fury 
continued to fill me, yet was I unable to push away from the warmth of his body and the strength of his 
arms, as unable to deny him as I had been unable to deny Ceralt. Instead did I cling tightly to him, feeling 


his lips upon my hair, and thrust away instead all thoughts concerning the punishment of the gods. 

his lips upon my hair, and thrust away instead all thoughts concerning the punishment of the gods. 

Knowing not where the fury should fall? The thought brought me to an abrupt halt, a churning in my 
middle underscoring the sacrilege of the thing. To feel fury toward males was a usual doing, much to be 
expected when a warrior moved among them, yet the other-

Many times since my choosing had I been given trials and punishment by Mida, shamings and pain and 
humiliation which I had not questioned when once it became clear that the goddess had indeed sent them. 
I had at first thought Mehrayn's doing to be his alone, despite the manner in which he had spoken, and 
then had come the thought that Ilida moved the male as she had once moved Ceralt. I had been forced to 
remain in the darkness by the doing of Mehrayn, continuing to feel a remembrance of the weight of his 
hand even to the new light-and then had I spoken with the Summa and stumbled upon that which brought 
the Clouds of Seeing. Had I left during the darkness, the Summa might well have been in their sleeping 
leather, the pouch bypassed in the taking of a different path through the cavern. 

I raised my right leg to the stump of along dead tree, gazing balefully upon my life sign where it lay wound 
about the hilt of my dagger. Though I rode in Mida's name and would continue to do so, it came to me at 
last that I was no longer willing to accept in silence the trials she sent. 

The light, pretty glade was well paced out by the arrival of Chaldrin and the two Summa. I swung the thin 
branch I had broken from a tree, as if it were a sword, bringing imaginary death and destruction to the 
golden light about me, using the exertion as an aid to lightening my mood. 

"Ho, Jalav, provender is at hand," called Dotil as she and Wedin and Chaldrin rode their kand to where 
mine stood. "A large young paslat happened across me, and though the battle was fierce I was at last 
able to prevail. There will be much of a victory celebration, and I would be honored by your attendance. 
" 

Chaldrin chuckled at Dotil's words as he dismounted, and even Wedin showed a grin of amusement. I, 
too, smiled at the picture evoked by the light-haired Summa warrior, for the paslat is a small, gentle child 
of the wild, easily frightened and easily hunted. I joined the three by their kand and looked upon the 
paslat, pleased to note that the beast was indeed larger than most of its kind. Easily would its flesh feed 
the four of us, even with my hunger as high as it was. Dotil took her dagger to the carcass and began 
skinning it, and Chaldrin took my arm in indication that he wished to walk with him to the opposite side of 
the glade. 

"How do you fare, wench?" the male demanded as soon as we were beyond hearing of the others. 
"When last I saw such rage upon you, bodies dropped lifeless to the ground about us. It was not my 
intention to give you such woe, and I have come to a decision. Should it become necessary, I will face 
the Sword as I faced so many others in my time in the Caverns, for I am indeed not without skill." 

His voice was firm and confident with decision, and I halted to turn and look up at him. His dark-eyed 
gaze did not avoid mine, and decision was as strong there as it had been in his voice. I continued to look 
upon him for a brief moment, and then made a sound of annoyance. 

"You are much of a fool, male," said I, allowing him to see my displeasure. "Think you I allow you to ride 
beside me for the reason that I have grown tired of seeing to battle my own self? Should it become 
necessary to face Mehrayn, it is I who shall do so." 


"He will refuse to face you," said Chaldrin, folding massive arms across an equally massive chest. "Should 
it truly be your desire to have naught further to do with him, it will be best if I face him immediately, else 
must you resign yourself to empty furs. I shall ever be as eager for your use as I was in the Caverns, yet 
do I refuse to sneak about behind the back of another man. The Sword will allow no other to life with 
you while he lives, therefore must he be faced." 

"He will refuse to face you," said Chaldrin, folding massive arms across an equally massive chest. "Should 
it truly be your desire to have naught further to do with him, it will be best if I face him immediately, else 
must you resign yourself to empty furs. I shall ever be as eager for your use as I was in the Caverns, yet 
do I refuse to sneak about behind the back of another man. The Sword will allow no other to life with 
you while he lives, therefore must he be faced." 

"You believe I jest?" said he, continuing to frown. "You see the matter in another light?" 

"Most certainly," said I with a comfortable chuckle. "Though you continually succeed in putting the point 
from your mind, I am a war leader of the Midanna. No male is permitted to speak upon the matter of 
who will fill the sleeping leather of a war leader who is not a captive, and Mehrayn is well aware of this. 
Should the male appear, he will not attempt to counter my decision." 

"He spoke of this to you?" asked Chaldrin, surprised. "You have his word upon the matter?" 

"For what reason would his word be necessary?" I asked in turn, enjoying the feel of my hand against the 
warm, muscled flesh of the male. Much pleasure was Chaldrin capable of bringing to a warrior, and little 
need was there to deny myself upon that journey. "Mehrayn is aware of the duties and rights of a war 
leader, the responsibilities and freedoms demanded by the position. Should he appear, he will abide by 
that knowledge." 

"And I, the only other man about, am to test that theory," said Chaldrin with something of a groan, closing 
his eyes briefly as though at the urging of deep pain. Then did his arms unfold and his hand came to mine, 
and gently was my hand taken from his shoulder. "With each moment that passes do I learn more of how 
little you know of men," said he with a sigh. "There is a great deal of difference between being captive to 
men and being cherished by one; you have learned much of the first, naught of the second. It is my fond 
hope that I shall survive till the new learning has had opportunity to come to you." 

He then put his hand to my face before turning away from me, back toward Dotil and the paslet she 
skinned. I had no understanding of why the male seemed so despondent, yet was that the way of males, 
to fret over the unimportant. Again I chuckled at Chaldrin's foolishness, and then followed him to where 
Dotil skinned our provender. 

Our halt for provender continued to be a time of amusement. When once the paslat had been skinned 
and quartered, the Summa and I began our feeding at once, relishing the taste of the bloody flesh. Not 
often among males does a warrior find opportunity to feed upon uncooked meat, for males must ever 
burn their provender to ashes before they find it palatable. The sweet blood ran down our fingers and 
marked our faces, and a full two reckid of silence passed before it came to me that Chaldrin stared upon 
us rather than upon his portion, his own provender as yet untouched. A good deal of dismay looked out 
from the eyes of the male, undoubtedly due to witnessing for the first time the manner in which Midanna 
feed, and then did a throat-clearing sound come from him. 

"Have none of you wenches a need for a fire?" he asked, his voice filled with upset as he looked from 
one to the other of us. "Is there a ritual you follow which requires uncooked meat for your mid-fey 
meal?" 

"Midanna prefer their provender as Mida has provided it," said I, refraining from adding that this 
preference held sway most often only upon the trail. When in their home tents, warriors would also see 
their provender cooked, yet not to the extent sought by males. "Surely Chaldrin will have no difficulty in 


emulating mere females." 

emulating mere females." 

"I cannot," said he, a great deal of distaste behind the words. "Never have I eaten uncooked flesh, as it is 
said some hunters are able to do. I am no hunter, and I cannot do as they and you. I shall have to build a 
fire." 

"To stand above a fire in the heat of this land will prove no pleasant chore," said Wedin, her amusement 
continuing cloaked, her tongue licking the blood from her fingers. "Such inability to feed properly is no 
doubt Mida-sent, as a punishment for males who presume and attempt over-familiarity with the warrior 
they follow. Are you not aware of the fact that Jalav is Mida's chosen, as well as war leader to 
Midanna?" 

"So I have been told, wench," said Chaldrin, as he rose to his feet. "I have attempted to mend the matter 
of over-familiarity, yet do others refuse to have it so. With war leaders and goddesses, a man stands little 
chance of finding victory in life." 

The sourness in Chaldrin's glance to me again brought a smile, yet did I see him gone about the matter of 
gathering wood for a fire without additional comment. The paslat was toothsome and already doing well 
to heal my hunger, the glade was lovely in its gold and green, and even the grass I sat cross-legged upon 
brought comfort. I tore off another mouthful of meat with my teeth, chewed with pleasure, then abruptly 
felt the urge to sigh. The peace of the glade would not be long in continuing, and that was a great pity. 

"The Hitta approaches with what seems determination," said Wedin about a mouthful, her tone held low. 
"You will, of course, do with her as you earlier proposed." 

"Of course," I replied, following the movements of Ilvin with no more than the corners of my eyes. Once 
within the glade she rode to where our kand were tied, dismounted and tied her beast beside the others, 
then hitched up her swordbelt and strode toward me with the determination Wedin had spoken of. As 
we sat not far from our mounts, her light-haired form was quickly before me. 

"War leader, I have come to accept the punishment decreed for me," said she, a look about her which 
spoke of a grim willingness to accept in silence the cruel stroke of the lash. "It is my duty to stand beside 
you come what may, therefore shall I do so." 

"It is your duty to obey your war leader, sister," said I, barely glancing upon her as I continued with the 
paslat. "Apparently you have not yet learned this truth. Should Mida smile, the learning shall come to you 
in due course, along with a proper regret for having done as you have. You may now approach the 
male." 

"As you command, war leader," said she, the resignation in her tone doing naught to lessen her 
determination. "As I withstood the capture so recently over, so shall I withstand this trial to Mida's 
satisfaction." 

With such words did Ilvin then take herself toward Chaldrin, where the male had gathered what wood he 
required and had set it upon bare ground in anticipation of lighting. The male had paid little mind to Ilvin's 
approach, so did the Hitta warrior had to speak first. 

"In accordance with the commands of the war leader Jalav, male," said she, looking down upon Chaldrin, 
"I am now yours as though in capture. You may do with me as those others did, yet shall I continue as I 


have ever been-a warrior of Mida." 

have ever been-a warrior of Mida." 

Tight-lipped did Ilvin stare down upon his bent back, yet for no more than a moment before her hands 
went to her swordbelt. Forced obedience is greatly more difficult than that which comes from the heart, a 
thing Ilvin would soon know well. After her swordbelt her dagger was thrown to the ground, and 
Chaldrin stood away from the spreading, crackling fire he had begun. 

"You may now see to the cooking of my provender," said he, looking down into light pools of anger 
which looked up at his calm. "Should you find the need to address me, you shall call me Chaldrin, not 
'male.' I, however, shall continue to call you 'girl,' for you have not yet earned a proper name. You will 
cook my provender properly, girl, you will bring it to me when it is done, and then, perhaps, we will 
discuss what hunger you might have. When you eat you will eat at my direction, for I dislike the look of 
scrawny females." 

Well did it seem for Chaldrin that Ilvin had rid herself of weapons; with his words ended he turned his 
back upon her and came toward where the Summa and I sat, apparently caring naught for the fury he 
had bred within the pale-haired Hitta warrior. The abrupt presence of a dagger in his back would have 
brought surprise to none of us, yet did Ilvin merely turn to the fire and begin to do as she had been 
bidden, her movements sharp with anger. Dotil laughed softly as Wedin smiled, both unconcerned now 
over what humiliation was brought to one who was under normal circumstances an enemy. Well they 
knew that Chaldrin would give no true harm to her, therefore were they free to find amusement in her 
plight. I, who had begun the thing, found amusement difficult in the face of memory, as difficult as looking 
warmly upon the male who now joined us. 

"Perhaps I am mistaken, wench," said Chaldrin to Wedin as he took seat upon the grass beside us, "yet 
does it seem that your Mida has spoken once again. The punishment which was to be mine is now 
another's, and I am to have service instead. Perhaps I have found approval after all." 

"The outcome of a battle cannot be known till the final sword thrust, male," said Wedin with amusement. 
"Only at that time does one learn the true will of Mida, and then is it far too late to mend one's ways." 

"Even should one have another to whom the mending may be given," added Dotil, drawing Chaldrin's 
eyes to her amusement. "A true warrior is one who is able to do for herself, in all things able to stand 
alone. To allow another to stand for you is not difficult, yet does the doing prove the warriorhood of none 
save that other." 

"I see," said Chaldrin, his dark eyes now resting upon me. "The outcome of a battle is never known till its 
end, therefore do you wenches fight on even in the face of what seems utter defeat. To have another 
stand for you in times of trial means naught, therefore do you ever welcome the call to stand alone. Now 
do I understand more fully the actions of one who was no more than captive, never a slave; also is my 
admiration greater, for the point of view is a difficult one to live by." 

"More difficult is the living in some other manner," said I, sending a glance toward Chaldrin as I rose to 
my feet. "As we have done feeding we will continue on, leaving a clear trail which you may follow when 
once you, too, are done. Guard your back more carefully, brother, for that is indeed a warrior you toy 
with, one who is far from the slave-women of your city. It would bring me distress to learn that your life 
was no more through naught save carelessness." 


"Indeed," said he, leaning to one elbow. "It would bring you distress to learn that I might no longer be 
used to prove a point you mean to see proven no matter the cost. And yet the matter no longer disturbs 
me, for I feel that Sigurr has taken note of my vow and now means to bring me regret for having spoken 
it. When the final stroke has fallen, then shall we know the true will of the gods." 

"Indeed," said he, leaning to one elbow. "It would bring you distress to learn that I might no longer be 
used to prove a point you mean to see proven no matter the cost. And yet the matter no longer disturbs 
me, for I feel that Sigurr has taken note of my vow and now means to bring me regret for having spoken 
it. When the final stroke has fallen, then shall we know the true will of the gods." 

"Whenever possible," echoed Chaldrin, looking up at me where I stood. "Is this a time, then, when my 
needs are to be considered beside yours?" 

"Come the final stroke, the will of the gods will be known to all," said I, grinning at the male who had 
shown faint hope ashine from his eyes. "Till then, one may do no more than that which one has ever 
done." 

"Then I shall be somewhat longer in following than a meal may account for," said he, annoyance clear in 
his look and tone as he took his eyes from me. "I will have the enjoyment of a wench for a final time 
before another of her ilk is the end of me, for I will surely have no other opportunity." 

"Do not tire yourself too far, brother," I said with a laugh which the Summa echoed. "Should the will of 
Mida match mine, you will have many further opportunities." 

No more than a growl came from Chaldrin in reply, therefore did the Summa and I gather up the leavings 
of our provender, dispose of them where the children of the wild might take what they wished, then 
paused by the tiny rill beyond the glade where we washed briefly and drank deeply. Cold and clear was 
the water of the swiftly running rill, yet so shallow and narrow that little more than drinking was possible 
with it. I continued to long for a body of water in which I might bathe, yet did it continue necessary to 
wait. The two Summa and I then went to our kand, allowed them also a drink at the rill, then mounted 
and took up the trail once more. 

A good deal of amusement was shared by the Summa over the red-faced fury of Ilvin, she who had kept 
her eyes from us as we departed the glade. Ilvin had clearly heard Chaldrin's announced intention to use 
her, and much had she felt humiliated. 

Mida's light had slid some distance from its highest, yet was it also a distance from darkness when we 
came upon the wide, cooly enticing pond. The heat of the fey had become sultry motionlessness, resting 
atop the Summa and myself as though it were a thrown lenga pelt, bringing the sheen of sweat to cover 
each of us most thoroughly. Had Mida appeared and demanded that we continue on past the pond we 
likely would have done so, yet naught less had the power to keep us from so exquisite an embrace which 
beckoned like the hand of glory attained. The kand had little interest in the pond save for a need to drink, 
therefore did we allow them their fill before tying them where grass was within their reach and then 
turning again to the beckoning. At my insistence did Wedin and Dotil enter the water as I stood guard, 
for I judged that their need was greater than mine. Though it had been far too long since soothing, 
cleansing water had last touched my body, it was the Summa who had been in such recent capture to 
males. I knew well the feelings which held them, and knew also that the reckid of waiting would be much 
the easier for me. 

With their weapons and clan coverings removed, the two Summa warriors dove from the bank into the 
deep pond water as though they were no more than warriors-to-be, laughing loudly as they each 
attempted to be the swifter. I watched no longer than to see their heads emerge dripping from the cool, 
blue-green depths, and then did I turn my attention to the forests we had emerged from. The place we 


had chosen would suit as a camping place as well, for there was too great a drop between the bank and 
the water for children of the wild to find the location a favorite one for drinking from. Our kand had 
stretched their necks to reach the water, finding themselves just able to do so, a thing those with shorter 
necks would not be able to accomplish. I smiled faintly at the shouts of joy voiced by the Summa which 
came to me as my eyes moved idly across the forest greens and browns, until I caught sight of abrupt 
movement. A lone figure emerged from the direction we, ourselves, had ridden from, clearly a male, 
clearly one I had never before come across. 

had chosen would suit as a camping place as well, for there was too great a drop between the bank and 
the water for children of the wild to find the location a favorite one for drinking from. Our kand had 
stretched their necks to reach the water, finding themselves just able to do so, a thing those with shorter 
necks would not be able to accomplish. I smiled faintly at the shouts of joy voiced by the Summa which 
came to me as my eyes moved idly across the forest greens and browns, until I caught sight of abrupt 
movement. A lone figure emerged from the direction we, ourselves, had ridden from, clearly a male, 
clearly one I had never before come across. 

"Good fey to you, child," said the male as he halted perhaps two paces before me, his voice deep and 
gentle and filled with an attempt to soothe one he apparently believed feared him. His dark eyes rested 
upon me with mildness, a mildness which did much to increase the annoyance I felt. I stroked the hilt of 
my sword with the open palm of my left hand, and met his gaze with other than mildness. 

"For one who wears no weapon, you give insult easily, male," said I, my tone as soft as my gaze was not. 
"Were I the child you named me, surely would you have already been sent to Mida's chains." 

"Indeed," said the male, amusement coming to him with his startlement, his dark eyes seemingly taking in 
my sword for the first time. "Indeed do you speak truly, wench, and indeed did I mean no insult. From 
the number of kalod I have lived, all seem as children to me, however you are clearly no child. Your 
anger would bring me great sorrow, therefore would I have your assurance that I am forgiven." 

The smile he sent was strong all through him, as though amusement held him tightly. I had no 
understanding of what thing brought him such amusement, nor did I care. 

"My anger would bring you a great deal more than sorrow," said I, voicing a soft sound of scorn. "For 
what reason have you halted here, male?" 

"For the reason that I am weary," said he, now apparently delighted as well as amused. "I am completely 
a stranger to these parts, I have traveled far, and have had no company save my own for too long a time. 
As a cure for the weariness of solitude and travel, I have halted to ask the favor of being allowed to rest 
a short while in the midst of three lovely wenches. And I assure you that I am entirely alone." 

The male's final words brought my eyes to him again, for I had been sending my gaze about the forest 
behind him, seeking those who were perhaps attempting approach the while the male before me engaged 
me in converse. An unexplained approval accompanied the continued amusement so clear in the dark gaze 
touching me, yet my annoyance continued undiminished as well. 

"Whether or not you are accompanied remains to be seen," said I, feeling little friendliness and belief, and 
showing less. "Your wish, however, is impossible to grant, for there are none about here save three 
Midanna warriors. Best would be if you sought your wenches elsewhere." 

The gray of his brows rose in a questioning manner, although there seemed little puzzlement in the depth 
of his eyes. His gaze traveled quickly up and down the length of me. 


"So young, and yet so sure and uncompromising," he murmured, as though he stood alone. "One should 
know from no more than the look of her, and yet-" His words ceased as he recalled where he stood, and 
the smile he then sent was of a sudden filled with a deal of the weariness he had earlier spoken of. 

"So young, and yet so sure and uncompromising," he murmured, as though he stood alone. "One should 
know from no more than the look of her, and yet-" His words ceased as he recalled where he stood, and 
the smile he then sent was of a sudden filled with a deal of the weariness he had earlier spoken of. 

The dark eyes continued to rest upon me, yet without amusement or condescension. At last had the male 
seen that I had little patience for his sort and had thrown himself upon my mercy, all unknowing that 
mercy was a cruelty most often practiced by males alone. I had no desire for strangers skulking about 
and disturbing the pleasure of the forests, yet was there an interruption before I might voice these 
thoughts. 

"Jalav, you have added another!" came the voice of Dotil, amusement heavy in her tone as she halted 
beside me. Her body and hair dripped freely to the ground by cause of her recent emergence from the 
pond, and laughter danced spritely in her light eyes. "I do not recall this one," said she, examining the 
stranger with her gaze. "Was he among those at the caves?" 

"This male is not Sigurri," said I, prepared to cast a baleful look upon the Summa. "Nor might he be 
considered one who is 'added.' We shall have enough of males in our midst, therefore . . . ." 

"Jalav, what occurs here?" asked Wedin, coming dripping to my other side to add her stare to Dotil's. 
"From whence comes this male, and whom does he follow?" 

"I would follow any-or none," said the stranger, his eyes moving between the two Summa, delight 
touching him again. "Command me and I am yours, lovely Midanna warriors, or merely leave me 
unwanted and ignored. Should I be permitted to remain, the choice would be entirely yours." 

"We have no need of the presence of another male," I rasped, disliking the manner in which Dotil 
chuckled and Wedin allowed her eyes to rove about the stranger. "To allow ourselves to be burdened 
with one such as this would be the height of folly, therefore . . . ." 

"Perhaps his presence would be an unburdening," said Wedin, her eyes continuing to examine the male. 
"Chaldrin is yours and will use the Hitta when you have no desire for him, and also is the red-haired male 
yours to use. The presence of one for Dotil and myself would relieve us of the need to share the others, 
and would be looked upon as a gesture of true sisterhood by us. How say you, war leader?" 

At that time did her eyes come to me, and Dotil's as well, both prepared to abide by my decision. The 
Summa would not disobey the commands of a war leader, yet had they put forward a request which held 
importance for them. I truly disliked the thought of allowing the odd, gray-haired male to remain, 
however the dislike was not reasonable whereas the request I had from the Summa was. I looked again 
upon the male, his return gaze steady enough yet filled with some odd discomfort, and after a moment 
nodded once with decision. 

"Very well," said I to Wedin, looking upon the darkhaired warrior with undisguised reluctance. "As the 
male pleases you, you may have him. Should he prove to have brothers hidden in the forests who mean 
to fall upon us in attack, however, you and I will speak of this matter again when they have been seen 
to." 

"As quickly as I spoke to the male himself of it," said Wedin, amusement in the glance she sent to the 


male. He, however, took no exception to our words nor to the look sent him as many another male 
would surely have done, seeming only extremely pleased and also filled with amusement. He had wished 
to remain, and now would see it so. 

male. He, however, took no exception to our words nor to the look sent him as many another male 
would surely have done, seeming only extremely pleased and also filled with amusement. He had wished 
to remain, and now would see it so. 

"I am called S'Heernoh," said he, the sparkle in his eyes showing that his sense of amusement felt tickled 
by the inspection. "I am from a land far from here, therefore do I ask your patience should I behave in a 
manner in which you find insult. Never would I consider giving insult to such lovely-ah-warriors. And 
how are you called?" 

"I am Dotil of the Summa clan," said Dotil, completing her circuit to stand again before the male 
S'Heernoh. "My sister Summa is Wedin, and the war leader is Jalav, once only of the Hosta clan, now 
war leader to all ten of her clans. You may address us by name, or as warrior or war leader, and need 
not spend words upon city male foolishness. It matters little to a warrior if the male she uses finds her 
'lovely.' " 

"And no doubt the thing matters even less to a war leader," said this S'Heernoh, the dark of his eyes 
leaving Dotil and Wedin's bodies for mine, then coming to my face. "Nevertheless does honesty compel 
me to insist that you are each of you indeed lovely, and I shall not retract the observation. You are each 
most beautiful, and none with eyes would voice the thought differently." 

At mention of eyes did the male's own eyes glow most brightly, an odd look which was akin to heat and 
yet quite different from it. Clearly were his words addressed to me, perhaps to challenge the manner in 
which I gazed upon him, yet was he far of the mark in his effort to achieve my approval. 

"No male cares to voice thoughts other than the same when he looks upon a warrior," said I, making no 
effort to soften the edge which had entered my voice. "Nor does he hesitate to attempt to take use from 
that warrior, she preferably bound at his feet or held by his greater strength. Many males have found 
approval in the look of Jalav, in the black of her hair and eyes, in the size of her breasts, in the length of 
her legs; many have called her lovely even as they put their manhood within her despite her protests. She 
then stood without weapon to hand and was therefore unable to keep the males from her, yet is she no 
longer weaponless. Beware lest your honesty touch her at the wrong moment, male, and unintentional 
insult be paid for with your lifeblood. In such an instance would apology be idle." 

Pain and disturbance entered the dark depths which held to me and the creased face worked as though 
there were words to be spoken, yet time limped past and naught save silence hovered about us. The 
glibness seemed to have slipped from the tongue of the male as quickly as the amusement had left his 
eyes, and though I knew not why the male failed to pursue his insistences, I was able to thank Mida for 
the peace and turn away from the small group which stood unspeaking. My movement seemed to waken 
Dotil and Wedin, who left the male who had been given to them and returned to the water of the pond, 
this time taking their clan coverings with them so that the attempt might be made to rid the cloth of dirt 
and stainings. The male S'Heernoh held his place for another moment before turning away to add his kan 
to those of the Summa and myself, aware of the manner in which I kept watch upon him as well as the 
forests, yet seemingly resigned to the doing. In no way might his silence have been bettered, save that he 
had mounted up and ridden off. 

The two Summa saw to their clan coverings and wet themselves for a final time, then withdrew again 
from the pond. The male S'Heernoh had unburdened his kan so that it might be at ease as it fed, yet had 
he left his bow with the leather seat of city males, still unstrung and therefore naught save a length of 


wood. Wedin and Dotil donned their clan coverings so that the cloth might dry upon them, then did they 
replace their weapons before asking the use of the comb which lay among my possessions. So long ago 
did it seem that I had packed that comb for my journey that I sighed, and then did I take myself toward 
the bank of the pond where I would leave my sword, dagger, breech and life sign the while I took joy 
from the blue-green wetness which awaited me. The gray-haired male was now the concern of the 
Summa, and well pleased was I to have it so. 

wood. Wedin and Dotil donned their clan coverings so that the cloth might dry upon them, then did they 
replace their weapons before asking the use of the comb which lay among my possessions. So long ago 
did it seem that I had packed that comb for my journey that I sighed, and then did I take myself toward 
the bank of the pond where I would leave my sword, dagger, breech and life sign the while I took joy 
from the blue-green wetness which awaited me. The gray-haired male was now the concern of the 
Summa, and well pleased was I to have it so. 

I continued to swim about for some reckid, glorying in the feel of wetness upon me, breaking through the 
shining gold patches of Mida's light which floated serenely upon the blue-green of the water in each place 
the leaves above allowed its presence. I remained not far from the bank I dove from-and then a sharp 
movement beneath the water caught my eye. The eldod seemed in the midst of agitated motion, and 
diving below showed me the cause of their agitation: the sleekly silvered shape of a hunting toray had 
appeared among them, its long, sharply moving body attempting to frighten away the adult eldod so that 
the calves would be easy prey. 

Again I surfaced to draw air into my lungs, yet not only for breathing. The intruding toray challenged the 
peace of more than the eldod, and I felt it should know this. 

"Wedin, your dagger-quickly" I called to the Summa, who turned to look at me with curiosity. "We shall 
feed upon toray this darkness!" 

"Ah, toray!" exclaimed Wedin, removing the dagger from her leg bands and throwing it to where I might 
take it out of the air. "I have not had toray in too long a time. I wish you good hunting, Jalav." 

I raised the dagger in acknowledgment then turned away, swimming a short distance before diving again 
beneath the warmed surface waters. The water-blurred silver shape of the toray continued to move 
menacingly among the eldod, its length nearly my height, its teeth prepared to slash at anything unable to 
protect itself. Four-legged was the toray, for walking about upon the land, with webs rather than claws at 
the ends of its feet, its teeth alone sufficient for taking its favorite prey, the gentle eldo. The hunter paid 
scant attention to me as I approached, considering me no more than an odd-appearing eldo, my size 
sufficient to keep me from being marked as prey, my lack of hunter-speed obscuring all menace from my 
approach. I closed as far as possible and remained so till my lungs began to demand a breath, rose 
quickly to the surface to breathe deeply a hand of times, then dove again, until I was upon the toray 
before it might do more than begin to turn to me. My left hand touched the short, smooth fur of its body 
as the dagger in my right sought its vitals, and then was I kicking rapidly away, to keep my arm from the 
slash of dagger-sharp teeth. My blade had penetrated the sleek body of my intended prey, yet had a rib 
turned the point before it might reach deeply enough to end the hunt properly. The toray had now turned 
upon me, its jaws gaping wide in fury and pain, a cloud of red staining the water all about. 

Again I kicked toward the toray, giving thanks to Mida that I yet retained sufficient air within me that I 


need not seek the surface, knowing well enough that the toray must now be ended before my need for air 
grew pressing. The silver shape flashed toward me as I made to twist in the water in an attempt to avoid 
its attack, my dagger doing no more than scoring deeply along its side, the stroke adding further to the 
mist of dark red leaking from it, yet doing naught to slow it. Again it turned and again it attacked, and 
although I was still able to keep its teeth from me, I began to be aware of a greater need to breathe. The 
long black lines which were my hair floated all about me, threatening to tangle me in a slow, caressing 
grip which would likely prove deadly, and again the toray came toward me, this time from above. Again 
my dagger did no more than score it as it twisted aside to rise above me again, and despite the growing 
ache in my chest, the toray's purpose came to me with clarity. At intervals was it necessary for the eldod 
to rise to the surface for air, a thing which the toray required as well; an awareness of this need had sent 
the toray above me in an effort to keep me from surfacing when the need arose, an interval which would 
be shorter than the toray knew. The need for air was becoming frantic within me, and although I now 
attempted to close with the hunter so that I might end it it avoided my attack, preferring to wait till it was 
no longer necessary to face the blade in my fist. 

need not seek the surface, knowing well enough that the toray must now be ended before my need for air 
grew pressing. The silver shape flashed toward me as I made to twist in the water in an attempt to avoid 
its attack, my dagger doing no more than scoring deeply along its side, the stroke adding further to the 
mist of dark red leaking from it, yet doing naught to slow it. Again it turned and again it attacked, and 
although I was still able to keep its teeth from me, I began to be aware of a greater need to breathe. The 
long black lines which were my hair floated all about me, threatening to tangle me in a slow, caressing 
grip which would likely prove deadly, and again the toray came toward me, this time from above. Again 
my dagger did no more than score it as it twisted aside to rise above me again, and despite the growing 
ache in my chest, the toray's purpose came to me with clarity. At intervals was it necessary for the eldod 
to rise to the surface for air, a thing which the toray required as well; an awareness of this need had sent 
the toray above me in an effort to keep me from surfacing when the need arose, an interval which would 
be shorter than the toray knew. The need for air was becoming frantic within me, and although I now 
attempted to close with the hunter so that I might end it it avoided my attack, preferring to wait till it was 
no longer necessary to face the blade in my fist. 

The male had done no better with his attack than I had with mine, for the toray continued to hang alert in 
the water. I circled widely about the toray where it rested unmoving the beast warily watching the small 
movements of Mehrayn which kept him from drifting away. A wide sweep of my dagger through the 
water, back and forth, drew a broad nod from the male showing he understood that I wished him to 
drive the toray toward me so that we might trap it between us. The attempt was in the hopes that the 
toray had bled enough to slow it; were it still in possession of its previous speed, it would likely escape, 
yet was the attempt worth the trying. Toray flesh was sweet and tender beyond many others, and its 
escape would truly be a loss. The attack would likely be the last as well, for Mehrayn could not have 
much air left to him, and to continue surfacing and diving would be tempting Mida to allow the toray a run 
at victory. Mehrayn kicked strongly toward the toray, his dagger tight in his fist and flashing toward the 
beast-and then were there other shapes about as well, above, and around the hunted beast. The toray 
had begun a retreat from Mehrayn which would have taken it well beyond me, yet the arrival of the other 
shapes halted this retreat. In seeming startlement did the toray back through the water directly to me, and 
this time no rib interrupted the journey of my blade. The silvery body stiffened, shuddered, then grew lax, 
the mist of red pouring from it increasing, and then was Mehrayn beside it and me, assisting me in raising 
the former hunter to the surface of the pond. 

"Sigurr!" gasped the male when once he had refilled his lungs with the golden air about us, his head 
flinging back the hair over his eyes. "Another moment and the great god would have been before me, 
welcoming me to his Eternal Legion. Perhaps it was he who sent those shadows, to aid his Sword against 
fish and female alike." 

"Those shadows were eldod," said I with a sound of disdain, seeing clearly that Mehrayn had not the lung 
capacity of Midanna. "Had the toray escaped us, it would have returned another fey to hunt among the 
eldod, therefore did the eldod take steps to see that it would not escape. Never before have I heard of 
eldod acting in such a way, yet am I pleased to have seen the thing done. The memory of lost toray 
would have soured the taste of whatever else I fed upon this darkness." 

"You mean to eat this?" Mehrayn asked, his brows raised in surprise as he glanced at the carcass we 
supported between us. "Good fortune truly smiles upon the wench who is able to savor the taste of that 


which attacks her." 

which attacks her." 

"It was you who attacked it," said Mehrayn, his tone flat, his green eyes narrowed, no note taken of the 
balance of my words. "Perhaps we had best return to the bank before we discuss this further." 

I saw no need of further discussion yet I had observed many times, the strangeness of males. With a 
small shrug I began to move with him to the bank, where Wedin and Dotil waited to assist in removing 
the toray from the water. Two other males stood there as well, Sigurri warriors by the black of their body 
cloths, the gray-haired male S'Heernoh astand behind all, looking on in faintly amused interest. We 
brought the toray to the bank, Mehrayn and I, and then did we push from beneath as Wedin, Dotil and 
the two Sigurri pulled and heaved till the carcass lay upon the grass. Much weightier without the water 
than within was the toray, and Mehrayn and I found the need to move some paces to the right before we, 
ourselves, were able to climb from the water. The male, I saw, was yet clothed in the black body cloth 
he habitually wore, a thing I had no understanding of till he turned about and sent an odd look toward 
me. 

"I seem to have no true understanding of what occurred beneath those waters," said he, sending one 
broad hand to push the sopping strands of hair from his eyes. "Upon my arrival did I see the agitation of 
the pond water and the spreading blood, and then did that stranger speak of your being in the pond. I 
dismounted immediately, removed my swordbelt, took my dagger, and dove to your assistance. Am I 
now to understand that you required no assistance?" 

"On the contrary, your assistance was quite timely," said I, crouching down to plunge Wedin's dagger 
into the ground before attempting to squeeze the water from my hair. "The toray was attempting to keep 
me from the surface, and would have attacked me even had I been able to bypass it. Had you not come 
when you did, my life might well have been forfeit. " 

"Then I am more than pleased to have arrived when I did," said he, grinning. "It was necessary to delay 
my departure by cause of the need to pass on your findings and Chaldrin's thoughts concerning the vapor 
you detected in the caves, the traces of Sigurr's Breath. Sigurr's city will now be safe from attack by the 
caverns, therefore is it most fitting that you were saved during your own attack against the toray. When 
darkness has fallen, I will reward you for your assistance and you may reward me for mine." 

The look in his green eyes was most familiar. I squeezed the last of the drippings from my hair, threw the 
still wet mass of it behind me, pulled Wedin's dagger clear of the ground, then straightened to my full 
height. 

"Should it be your wish to fill a war leader's sleeping leather," said I with a shrug, "the matter may be 
easily seen to. Should you adequately wipe out the insult given her, she may well consider your use 
among those others available to her. Should the insult remain standing, however, Mehrayn may look 
elsewhere for giving and receiving reward." 

"Others?" said Mehrayn with a yelp, the grin abruptly abandoning him. "Insult? Of what do you speak, 
wench? In what manner am I expected to soothe the ache of your feelings?" 

Annoyance had come to fill the green of his eyes, an annoyance which I easily shared. Had he not been 
male, it would not have been necessary for him to put so foolish a question. 


"To assuage the insult given me, you may face me with swords," I snapped, holding his gaze with mine. 
"As you have been of some assistance to me in the past, you have my word that I will not take your life. 
There should, however, be some provision made for your possible wounds being seen to." 

"To assuage the insult given me, you may face me with swords," I snapped, holding his gaze with mine. 
"As you have been of some assistance to me in the past, you have my word that I will not take your life. 
There should, however, be some provision made for your possible wounds being seen to." 

"Do not be more foolish than your maleness calls for, male," I said derisively. "You know well enough 
that I will not draw weapon against one who merely stands his ground, even though that one is male. I 
have given you challenge for there is now no reason that you not face me." 

"Has something occurred of which I am unaware?" he asked, his face now reflecting deep confusion, his 
forehead creased in perplexity. "In what manner do you see it as permissible that I face you?" 

"In what manner may you not?" I countered, full weary with the thickness of the male. "Are we not now 
quits upon the matter of life-debt?" I asked. "Though Jalav returned Mehrayn's life before the keren, 
Mehrayn has now returned Jalav's life before the toray. As the matter now stands even between us, we 
may freely face one another in challenge." 

As the point was of sufficient simplicity for even a warrior-to-be to understand readily, I fully expected 
the same understanding from the male. What was unexpected, however, was the stunned comprehension 
which took him, adding itself to the bewilderment which also appeared. Warrior had the male before me 
called himself, yet did he stare down upon me as though I had demanded that he take wing and fly. 

"Am I to understand that you believe a matter of-life-debt alone has kept me from facing you?" he asked 
in confusion. "It is true I owe you my life, yet the love I feel for you is a greater restraint. I could not strike 
at one I love." 

"Do not weary me further with male foolishness," I replied, dismissing the thing with a curt gesture. "I 
have heard many males speak of this thing they term 'love,' yet is it part and parcel with the cruelty of 
'mercy.' When a male professes this 'love' for a female, he is stating to all his intention of taking that 
female in slavery. As it is 'love' he feels, he must be obeyed by the female, and served by her, and must 
be allowed to take her use at any time desire comes to him. Also has he the right to direct the living of her 
life, for should she indulge in battle or the hunt, she will endanger herself beyond his wishes. A male may 
not profess 'love' for one who has gone to Mida's Realm, nor may he give her humiliation for doing as she 
must." 

"All men-and some wenches-do as they must," said he, folding well-muscled arms across his chest as he 
continued to gaze down upon me. "No man will punish a wench for doing as she must, yet will he 
certainly punish her for endangering herself beyond the necessary by thoughtlessness. Should the 
occasion arise, I will do again as I have already done, no matter the greater pain brought to me by the 
doing. And this is the true meaning of love, wench, the willingness to give necessary pain to one's beloved 
despite one's own pain to insure the safety of that beloved life." 

"Then Jalav must certainly be the beloved of many males," said I, undoubtedly showing the disgust which 
I felt. "Never have they hesitated in the giving of pain and humiliation, yet have they hidden well the 
greater pain felt by them. Such courage is truly awe-inspiring, and worthy of endless praise. Should you 
overcome your hesitancy to face me as easily as you have overcome the deep soul-hurt so recently felt 
by you, do not fail to speak to me of it." 

I attempted to turn from him then, to return Wedin's dagger and retrieve my own weapons, yet did his 


hand come to my arm to halt me. 

hand come to my arm to halt me. 

"No warrior would need ask so obvious a question," said I, seeing the annoyance which flashed briefly in 
his eyes, an annoyance which was not unexpected. "I am a warrior and war leader of Midanna, who 
consider it dishonorable for one of high skill to stand in challenge against one of considerably less skill, 
save that that other is she who demanded the challenge. Much did I believe you akin to most males, 
clumsy and with little skill to speak of, therefore did I refrain from pressing the matter of challenge in the 
past. Now that I have learned the truth, that you stand among the best of your males, I need no longer 
consider the challenge dishonorable." 

"I see," said he, his light eyes hooded, his expression thoughtful. "And in what manner did you learn this 
enlightening truth?" 

"The matter was spoken of by Chaldrin," said I, growing impatient to be about other doings. "He is of the 
opinion that no other is able to equal your sword skill, and Chaldrin is well versed in the matter of battle 
and weapons. Should it be your wish to converse further upon the point you may do so with him, for he 
arrives now with Ilvin. Jalav no longer has interest in converse." 

Curtly did I nod toward where Chaldrin and Ilvin had appeared among the trees, seeing the strangely 
grim nod of Mehrayn before turning from him for the final time. Had his hand not already left my arm, he 
would have found me well prepared to tickle it with the dagger I held. Wedin and Dotil, I found, stood 
some few steps beyond the toray carcass exchanging words with the two Sigurri who had accompanied 
Mehrayn, having left the stranger S'Heernoh behind with the carcass. It was this S'Heernoh who put a 
hand up before me, halting my stride before I might pass him on my way to the Summa. 

"I am greatly pleased no harm has come to you, war leader," said he in a soft voice, his dark eyes slitted 
against the dusk. "That man you spoke with, he with the hair of red-his concern for you must truly be 
deep and deeply felt. When he learned that you swam beneath the waters of the pond among indications 
of spilled blood, he immediately dove to your assistance without thought to his own safety. Such concern 
is rare." 

"It is scarcely a matter of concern," said I impatiently. "The male then owed his life to me, he believes I 
ride in the service of his god, and also does he find great pleasure in my use. It is these things which cause 
his concern, as S'Heernoh shall learn the longer he remains in these lands. Should he wish to retain life 
long enough to remain in these lands, he had best first learn to be silent upon matters which concern 
warriors alone, and to keep from their path when he has not been summoned by them. Are my words 
clear to you?" 

"Perfectly," said he, seeming annoyed and frustrated, he withdrew a pace. "It was not my intention to 
intrude, war leader, and I ask your pardon." 

A wordless sound came from my throat in response to his reply, for no true words were called for. The 
male spoke properly self-effacing words in apology for his intrusion, yet did I continue to find annoyance 
in his presence. I knew not why this should be so, yet it was. 


No more than three paces farther were Wedin and Dotil and the two Sigurri, and as I approached, their 
words came clear to me. 

No more than three paces farther were Wedin and Dotil and the two Sigurri, and as I approached, their 
words came clear to me. 

"We will then be allowed to make the attempt to please you," said one of the males, clearly exasperated. 
"You mean to have us stand about till then, praying to Sigurr for the failure of another, so that we might 
then perform for the honor of a wench in our furs'? Do you take us for slavies of the Caverns?" 

"Should you be too persistent, we will not take you in any manner," put in Wedin, her left hand arest 
upon the hilt of her sword. "It amuses us to see males skip about before us in an attempt to gain our 
attention, yet too great an insistence brings annoyance rather than amusement. Should your need be so 
great that you are unable to contain it, perhaps you would do well to speak to the war leader here. 
Possibly she has not yet settled upon a male for the darkness." 

The eyes of the two males came to me where I stood, taking no note of the dagger I handed across to 
Wedin, their gazes immediately filling with startlement which quickly became the approval and heat which 
was usual when males gazed upon me. Jalav stood without covering or weapon of any sort, and the two 
light-haired Sigurri grinned well before the male who had spoken earlier slowly shook his head. 

"It would give us great pleasure to speak to the war leader," said he, "and yet speak to her is all we might 
do. Had we a wish for an early entrance to Sigurr's Eternal Legions, there are far simpler and less painful 
methods of beginning the journey than putting a hand to the chosen of Sigurr's Sword. I, personally, 
consider it a great pity and loss, yet there is naught I may do for it." 

"I am the chosen of none save Mida," said I to the male. "Sigurr's Sword will not share this war leader's 
sleeping leather till he faces her, and perhaps not even then. Should it be my desire to use you or your 
brother, male, you will come to me when summoned." 

"Only should it be Sigurr himself who summons," said the second male, both continuing to grin well. 
"Sooner would I face the wrath of a wench than the wrath of Mehrayn. Not for naught is he Prince of 
Sigurr's Sword." 

"And not for naught is Jalav the chosen of Mida," said I, looking upon the two fools of males for a final 
time. "As you are free I may not merely take your use, yet are we three Midanna free as well. As you 
refuse this war leader, so shall you be refused by her warriors. Perhaps the Sword you stand in so great 
a fear of will allow you to return to your city." 

Dotil and Wedin chuckled well at the immediate stricken look which took the two Sigurri males, and then 
did the Summa take themselves back to the toray carcass the while I continued on to my weapons and 
breech. Much would it have pleased me to have no males about upon that journey, yet had the presence 
of Mehrayn and Chaldrin grown to two further Sigurri and the stranger S'Heernoh as well. The matter 
had moved far beyond my ability to halt or alter, therefore I had to trust in Mida to rid me of the males 
before my arrival at the visiting. Were she to fail to do so, she would undoubtedly find the necessity for 
deciding upon another chosen, if not by cause of the enemy Midanna, then surely because of the males 
themselves. 

With breech and weapons replaced and my life sign again wound about my dagger hilt, I hefted the 
pouch of that which brought the Clouds of Seeing and then resolutely made for my kan. Chaldrin and 
Ilvin had ridden up to add their kand to the string of those of the rest of us, and as I reached my kan I 


saw the abrupt appearance of Mehrayn beside the two. The red-haired male had taken a moment or two 
to wring the wetness from his black body cloth before replacing it along with his weapons, and now his 
hand fell heavily upon the shoulder of Chaldrin. 

saw the abrupt appearance of Mehrayn beside the two. The red-haired male had taken a moment or two 
to wring the wetness from his black body cloth before replacing it along with his weapons, and now his 
hand fell heavily upon the shoulder of Chaldrin. 

"Perhaps I am mistaken," said Chaldrin in a drawl, "yet do I feel that the Sword would have been even 
more pleased had I not joined this group. Had I been alone it might well have been so, yet the wench I 
ride with is able to read the forests as another reads the scarring upon his own palm." 

"Not at all, brother," said Mehrayn, the heartiness dropping from his voice as his hand withdrew from 
Chaldrin's shoulder. "I have waited anxiously to thank you for speaking so well of me, better than I had 
thought you would. A man is pleased to know that another thinks so highly of him." 

"What has she done?" asked Chaldrin with immediate weariness, one broad hand moving to rub at his 
eyes. "It can be no other thing than the wench, and I would . . . " 

"She has challenged me!" said Mehrayn with such low fury that Chaldrin winced visibly at his vehemence. 
"She was told how able I am with a blade, and has therefore deemed me able enough to face her!" 

"You have no need to accept the challenge," said Chaldrin, considerable strain audible in his voice. "Her 
blood need not be spilled in order for her to learn that you are able to best her." 

"Her blood!" hissed Mehrayn, his fury growing. "You know well enough that I could not strike her, yet 
what would there be to stay her weapon? In no manner would I find myself able to counter her, yet do I 
also foolishly wish to remain unsliced! And I cannot simply refuse her challenge. If I fail to face her, I will 
never again be allowed the pleasure of her! Why could you not have told her I was inept, and was named 
Sigurr's Sword only through the influence of my family? For what reason was it necessary to laud me to 
the skies?" 

"I spoke without thought," said Chaldrin with a sigh. "The wench demanded to know the reason I had no 
wish to face you, and I spoke the truth without thought as to what its effect would be on her. Does she 
mean to force you to the challenge?" 

"By no means," said Mehrayn in a voice near to a growl, his light eyes meeting Chaldrin's dark ones 
levelly. Nearly of a size were those two males, and although Chaldrin was larger of girth, Mehrayn had 
the shoulder-width of him. "By no means am I to be forced to the challenge," said Mehrayn, vexation 
holding him close. "I need not face the stubborn she-lenga till I am of a mind to do so. Once I have faced 
her she will consider allowing me entrance to her sleeping leather, yet till then I am to look elsewhere for 
release. Sigurr take me, I have no wish to look elsewhere!" In vexation did the male begin to stalk about, 
yet a sudden thought turned him back to Chaldrin. "Nearly did I miss the point, so befuddled does that 
wench cause me to be. For what reason would you need to face me, that it was necessary for you to 
speak of why you would not wish to?" 

The abrupt question seemed one Chaldrin had expected, yet expectation had not heartened him to its 
coming. Again he sighed, as though resigned to some matter, and slowly shook his head at Mehrayn. 

"When once the dark god turns his face from a man, never again does he smile upon him," said he to a 
puzzled Mehrayn. "I had thought the Caverns the harshest thing I would face through Sigurr's displeasure, 
yet have I found that there are things beyond harshness. I would not retract my vow to the wench even 
were I able, and yet-I had hoped for more time to stand beside her." 


"You sound as though we had already faced one another and you had fallen," said Mehrayn, returning to 
stand before Chaldrin and look upon him with the puzzlement he continued to feel. "From what I, myself, 
have seen of your skill, a set-to between us would be no preordained victory for Sigurr's sword. For 
what reason do you speak as you do?" 

"You sound as though we had already faced one another and you had fallen," said Mehrayn, returning to 
stand before Chaldrin and look upon him with the puzzlement he continued to feel. "From what I, myself, 
have seen of your skill, a set-to between us would be no preordained victory for Sigurr's sword. For 
what reason do you speak as you do?" 

Mehrayn sighed. "I believe I now understand her reference to 'others,' " said he, both vexation and 
annoyance clear in his tone. "I see she does indeed seek to force me into facing her, yet would I sooner 
have that bottom within reach of my hand again. You will, of course, refuse her should she come to you." 

"Refuse her?" said Chaldrin with the faintest of smiles, the while I bristled with anger where I stood. 
"Have I not said I am no more than a man? The taste of her fills even my waking dreams, the sight of her 
bringing desire like none I have ever felt. Should she come to me and press those large-pointed breasts 
into my flesh, touch my lips with the softness of hers, put her hand to me-Would you find yourself able to 
refuse her?" 

"Much does it sound as though you have already had her use," said Mehrayn in so soft a voice that all 
amusement left Chaldrin, his smile fading beneath the green of the stare which held him. "This is 
foolishness, I know, for the wench is mine, yet does it seem that the taste of her is familiar to you. You 
will, of course, assure me that I am mistaken. 

"In the Caverns, no wench belongs to a single man, nor are her origins made known to us," replied 
Chaldrin in a voice steady enough, yet did it seem that he looked upon his own death. "To refuse to take 
use from a wench such as that would have been lunacy, and none of us suffered from lunacy of that sort. 
As you wish the truth you shall have it: I would not have kept from her even had I know her to be 
Sigurr's, not to speak of yours. And quite confidently does the wench assure me that you will have no 
objection to her taking another man in your presence. Even when she was a captive, said she, her use 
was free to all who wished it, and no man has ever sought to keep her his alone. Now that she is again 
free, she insists, surely none will seek to limit her use of what 'males' she finds about her. Mehrayn is 
aware of the rights of a war leader, said she, and will not seek to limit her prerogative. Her belief in this is 
firm, and should it be necessary to speak words of disagreement, the chore must fall to Sigurr's Sword. I 
am more than weary of being laughed at." 

"Laughed at," muttered Mehrayn, his left hand repeatedly freeing his sword a hand-span and then 
thrusting it back within its scabbard again. "No man has ever sought to keep her as his alone. The 
prerogatives of a war leader!" Then were his eyes blazing. "What am I to do?" he demanded, as though 
the other male held knowledge which he refused to share. "in Sigurr's name, tell me what I am to do! In 
all my kalod of life, in all my kalod as Sigurr's Sword, never have I felt so helpless! She will listen to no 
word I speak, for she has been taught that men speak 'foolishness' and lies, and is able to find trust in 
none of us through what has been done to her! And above that, she rides in the service of the gods! Any 
man who attempts to distract her pits himself against the gods! Willingly would I stand with sword in hand 
against any being who ever lived, yet how am I to challenge the gods for her? Every man who has 
attempted to do so has been thrown aside by them, as so much refuse! Tell me what I am to do!" 

"Brother, I cannot," said Chaldrin in a voice filled with pity, his hand going to the shoulder of Mehrayn, 
who now stood with head down, as though in defeat. "My lot is simple in that I merely need follow her 


and stand with her, even should my life be forfeit. Had I the need to stand between her and her goals so 
that I might be seen and taken note of-fear of the wrath of the gods would surely drive me shuddering to 
my knees, not to speak of having to interrupt the wench's single-mindedness relating to her devotion to 
duty. Those who attempt to stand before her in the path she was set upon by the gods must face that 
blade of hers-and the skill which few have ever attained. Should you need the assurance of one who was 
foolish enough to face that blade, I give you my word that she will never fall without taking her due. Glibly 
did I tell her that you would easily best her were you to face one another, and perhaps this would be so. 
In full truth do I say to you that you would not go unscathed even were you to triumph over her, for she 
fights as none I have ever faced." 

and stand with her, even should my life be forfeit. Had I the need to stand between her and her goals so 
that I might be seen and taken note of-fear of the wrath of the gods would surely drive me shuddering to 
my knees, not to speak of having to interrupt the wench's single-mindedness relating to her devotion to 
duty. Those who attempt to stand before her in the path she was set upon by the gods must face that 
blade of hers-and the skill which few have ever attained. Should you need the assurance of one who was 
foolish enough to face that blade, I give you my word that she will never fall without taking her due. Glibly 
did I tell her that you would easily best her were you to face one another, and perhaps this would be so. 
In full truth do I say to you that you would not go unscathed even were you to triumph over her, for she 
fights as none I have ever faced." 

Briskly did he clap Chaldrin upon the shoulder and then take himself off, a determination about him so 
strong that both Chaldrin and I could do no more than stare silently after him. Some time had it been 
since confusion had swirled so thickly about me, yet had it not lost its ability to set my head to spinning. 
What the words of the male meant I had no true idea, yet did one small part of it disturb me 
considerably. As I had already put away the small sack in among my belongings, I left the side of my kan 
to walk to Chaldrin where he still stood gazing after Mehrayn. 

"What does he mean to do?" I asked, drawing Chaldrin's immediate attention. "Of what does he speak, 
and what does he mean to do?" 

"You heard?" asked Chaldrin, looking down at me. "Should you have heard all which passed between 
us, you must know as well as I that he means to make you his alone. I have seen you beside him, wench, 
when indignation did not ride you as a warrior upon a kan. You cannot mean to deny him." 

So quietly did Chaldrin speak, with calm acceptance in both tone and eyes, his gaze firmly upon me, his 
fingers resting upon his swordbelt. Broad and strong and calm was Chaldrin as he stood in his white 
body cloth looking down upon me, yet was he no more than a child speaking upon matters he had no 
true understanding of. 

"I have no need to deny him," said I, feeling quick anger at such colossal foolishness. "It shall be Mida 
who denies him, as she has denied others, this time, perhaps, with Sigurr's assistance. And not again shall 
I barter my soul to reclaim the life of one who stands against the will of the gods. Not again." 

I turned and strode quickly away from Chaldrin, aware of his wish to speak further upon the matter, yet 
unwilling to be drawn more deeply into useless male foolishness. A few steps into the forest and our 
halting place was gone from easy sight, yet did I continue on till I was well away, beyond sound of the 
others as well as sight of them. The lowering heat of the fey was again oppressive, taking the cool so 
recently given my body and turning it to small rills of sweat, save for where my still-wet hair touched me. 
My left palm rubbed fretfully against the hilt of my sword as I strode back and forth before a large, old 
tree, seeking to calm the mountainous turmoil which threatened to whirl me away forever from the sight of 
all. 

The vanity of males! He who was pleased to call himself the Prince of Sigurr's Sword had come firmly 
and strongly to the decision that Jalav was to be his, therefore was Jalav not to deny him! Such a decision 
had Ceralt made, and nearly had Ceralt lost his life for the doing! Was I to again stand between a male 
and his fate, accepting agony and terror beyond description so that he might be saved from that which he 
had so willingly and casually set himself to? 


I put a hand to my middle at the strong flash of illness which clawed through my inner flesh, knowing I 
would not survive another such attempt. The very thought of it froze me where I stood, taking the 
strength from my knees and threatening to send me senseless to the ground. A war leader of Midanna 
should know no fear, yet had this war leader learned the true meaning of terror, and surely would such 
lessons keep her from acting in defense of one whose absence was an ache deep in the chest-and whose 
presence was constant irritation. To put such a demand to me again was beyond reason. I put a hand to 
the rough bark of the tree I stood beside, and in Mida's name did I vow it. Not again! 

I put a hand to my middle at the strong flash of illness which clawed through my inner flesh, knowing I 
would not survive another such attempt. The very thought of it froze me where I stood, taking the 
strength from my knees and threatening to send me senseless to the ground. A war leader of Midanna 
should know no fear, yet had this war leader learned the true meaning of terror, and surely would such 
lessons keep her from acting in defense of one whose absence was an ache deep in the chest-and whose 
presence was constant irritation. To put such a demand to me again was beyond reason. I put a hand to 
the rough bark of the tree I stood beside, and in Mida's name did I vow it. Not again! 

Mehrayn sat to one side of the camp with his males, his large body stretched at ease upon a 
cloth-covered lenga pelt, the other two to either side of him, all three conversing casually in low tones. 
Somewhat farther about the camp sat Chaldrin and the two Summa, the warriors speaking, the male 
merely listening. None save Ilvin took note of my reappearance from among the growing shadows, the 
unfinished pipe I had set myself to carving held in my hands. The Hitta's eyes met mine above the fire she 
stood near, a streak of something dark upon her left cheek, a look of bridled fury within the gaze she sent 
me. The warrior in her chafed at the tasks she had been set to as though she were a city slave-woman, 
however she had not as yet been touched by any part of the knowledge which would have come to her 
had she been in true capture. She continued to feel herself justified in following me, a thing shown clearly 
in the stubborn set of her body which remained even after her head had lowered at my approach. 

"Chaldrin has not yet spoken of what pleasure he had when you were earlier made to serve him," said I 
very softly as she poked at the cuts of toray with the blackened end of the stick she held. "Were you 
made to serve well?" 

Her body stiffened yet further at my words, and the face which raised to me had darkened with anger. 

"It is beyond me why you allow that one to follow you, Jalav," said she, affronted indignation thick in her 
voice. "The male is impossible, and much would it please me to put the point of a blade in him! Come the 
fey I am no longer bound to him, I shall face him no matter the cost!" 

"There are some costs, warrior," said I, "which are beyond a Midanna's ability to meet. You have given 
your word to obey this male in all things till I release you from the vow. The male is looked upon by me 
as a brother, and I would not care to see him harmed. What would be the cost to you, Ilvin, if I were to 
fail to release you from your vow? Would you see yourself forsworn?" 

With the query Ilvin turned pale. No longer were there words in her throat nor fury in her widened eyes, 
and I stood but a moment longer before turning from her toward the kand, where I would put my 
unfinished pipe away beside the sack which would soon fill it. The kand had been seen to and were quiet 
and satisfied some already dozing where they stood, Gandod, in their place, would have been in fighting 
temper, the manner in which they ever greeted the coming darkness, the time of fey they most preferred 
to vent their fury upon one another. For that reason were gandod mounts to warriors alone, for males 


cared little for attempting their taming. Without disturbing the drowsing kand I exchanged pipe for comb, 
then went to seat myself between Chaldrin and the Summa. 

cared little for attempting their taming. Without disturbing the drowsing kand I exchanged pipe for comb, 
then went to seat myself between Chaldrin and the Summa. 

"Cooked toray," said Chaldrin with a growl, bringing forth chuckling from Wedin and Dotil. "I had 
thought the great Midanna warriors preferred uncooked flesh to fill their bellies. For what reason do you 
now see it cooked?" 

"For the reason that we wish it so," said I, glancing in amusement at the male. "Midanna warriors do as 
they please, a thing Chaldrin will come to know well." 

"Chaldrin is already aware of that thing," said the male, his voice filled with annoyance. "Would that he 
were able to take a switch to another of their number as easily as he did with that yellow-haired wench." 

"You gave punishment to the Hitta?" asked Wedin as I turned a frown upon Chaldrin for his insolence. 
"For what reason was it necessary that you do so?" 

"For the reason that she presumed," said the male, sending his calm, dark-eyed gaze to the Summa. 
"When I was done with my mid-fey meal and informed the wench she would then serve me with her 
body, she in turn informed me that she had ever taken from a male, never having been taken, and would 
serve me only in that manner. I cut a switch and whipped her till she screamed, then taught her the proper 
manner of accepting a man. Once taught, she was able to do no other thing than obey me completely. 
Well may she be Midanna, yet is she first and most thoroughly female." 

The silence of hard-eyed blood insult settled upon the two Summa, clan commitments forgotten in the 
face of such treatment toward one of their own. Few others save the Silla among the enemy clans would 
see another Midanna savaged so by a male without feeling rage, yet were the eyes of Chaldrin upon me 
rather than upon those who were near to giving him challenge. I considered the words he had spoken 
very briefly, then did I make a sound of derision. 

"So my brother seeks to give insult and anger," said I, allowing my gaze to hold his as I moved the comb 
slowly through the tangles of my hair. "Perhaps it would be well to inform him that should he be 
challenged, his sister would be honor-bound to stand beside him in that challenge. Also, should he bear 
the remains of a wound which might well hamper him during battle, honor would also demand that she 
stand alone in that challenge. Is this what Chaldrin wishes?" 

The calm quickly fled the gaze of the male as his hand went to the white cloth about his middle, 
consternation and alarm immediately replacing that calm. The thick brows of Chaldrin lowered as he 
sought to look within me, and then did his eyes move to Wedin. 

"She puts the feather to me again, does she not?" he asked, the rumble of his voice fainter than it normally 
was. "You and she are the same, you ride in service to the same goddess, you laugh and speak together 
as sisters. She would not face you above blade edges, nor would you face her." 

"Honor demands no other thing," answered Wedin, her tone stiff and devoid of all friendliness. "Even 
should the war leader deplore your actions, she is bound to stand beside or for you, just as we are 
honor-bound to stand in challenge. Think you sisterhood comes before honor? Without honor, sisterhood 
would be idle." 

Deep frustration took the male then, anger also coming at sight of my smile. I had truly fathomed 
Chaldrin's intentions, and had negated them by doing no more than speaking truth. 


"The demands of honor!" growled the male, as though he spoke of things accursed. "Honor should be left 
to men, for wenches will ever overdo a thing. For what reason did you fail to believe me?" 

"The demands of honor!" growled the male, as though he spoke of things accursed. "Honor should be left 
to men, for wenches will ever overdo a thing. For what reason did you fail to believe me?" 

"He did not do the Hitta as he said?" demanded Wedin, confusion clear in her voice. "War leader, the 
male lied?" 

"He did indeed," said I, seeing the amusement in Chaldrin over my previous words. The male chuckled to 
himself, for he knew I had again spoken truth. "Perhaps he would now care to speak of what truly 
occurred between Ilvin and himself." 

All eyes went to Chaldrin where he sat, and the male returned each gaze before shaking his head. "The 
beliefs of the wench as to how she must be used were no lie," said he, a sigh of capitulation taking him. 
"Well might I have acceded to her needs, for I have no true ownership of her, yet was her manner of 
informing me of those needs distasteful. Much was I made to feel that my ownership was hers, and also 
was I moved to suggest, in mockery of her tone, that she need not beat me as she seemed eager to do. 
The wench immediately informed me that my plea was rejected, took up the switch that Jalav had been 
swinging all about, then had at me. I found it prudent to take the switch from her, gave to her the number 
of blows she had managed to give me, then put her to her back. She made no more sound at the feel of 
the switch than had I, yet was her body afterward eager to give me the pleasure I sought. In no manner is 
a wench able to deny the man who beats her, for she wishes to placate him so that he will not beat her 
again." 

The eyes of the male became bland, a hidden smile barely turning the corners of his mouth. Well did he 
know that I had heard such a statement before from him, immediately following the first occasion he had 
taken a whip to me. The urge toward anger rose high within me as memory was returned of that time, yet 
was I aware of the intent of the male, and therefore did I smile rather than frown, and turn my head 
toward the affronted dignity of the Summa. 

"My brother seeks to have us eject him from our midst," said I, drawing the bristling glare of both 
warriors. "He knows he will serve me this darkness should I demand it, therefore does he seek to keep 
the command unspoken. His words of insult are as deliberate as the lies he spoke, for he wishes to 
provoke anger within me. I would have you understand this, so that no difficulty is given him." 

"By the blessed sword of Mida the Golden," growled Wedin, her eyes angrily going to Chaldrin. 
"Another moment and challenge would have been his rather than ejection! For what reason does he seek 
to avoid serving you, Jalav? Is he now unable due to having used the Hitta?" 

"I seriously doubt his inability, Wedin," I said, turning my gaze to a Chaldrin who was once again 
wrapped deep in frustration. "He seeks to deny me, as was asked of him by another." 

"Demanded of me," said Chaldrin, a sourness all through him. "The words were a demand, wench, not a 
request, nor do I take umbrage at the demand. A man has his rights." 

"As a wench has her needs," said another voice, and then did Mehrayn appear to seat himself upon the 
far side of Chaldrin. "Ever has it been the right of a man to see happily to the needs of his wench, as I 
shall do for you. When our repast is done, my furs are yours." 

"Jalav has no need of the furs of merely any male," said I, my voice and gaze equally cold. "Jalav will 
share pleasure with one who does not fear to face her, with one who is willingly called brother. The male 


Mehrayn may say naught upon this decision." 

Mehrayn may say naught upon this decision." 

The calm, unangered eyes of Mehrayn remained upon me, perhaps deliberately ignoring the hand 
Chaldrin had put to his own eyes, as though he were touched by pain. Wedin and Dotil exchanged looks 
of confusion, understanding little of what occurred, yet was it clear that Chaldrin had spoken the truth 
earlier in the fey. Although I found belief upon the point difficult, Mehrayn did indeed seek to fill my 
sleeping leather to the exclusion of all others. Such foolishness might be found among no others than 
males, and even had I not already determined to turn from Mehrayn, I would not have allowed it to 
continue. 

"He who gives challenge to my brother gives challenge to me," said I, repeating the point for the benefit of 
those who had no true understanding of it. "As my brother bears a wound which would slow him, it is I 
alone who shall stand to the challenge. In a meeting such as this there may, of course, be no quarter 
given, no thought of keeping back the slaying stroke. When and where are we to meet, male?" 

"We are not to meet," said Mehrayn calmly. "Should the need arise it is Chaldrin whom I shall meet, 
wound or no, with your approval or without. You shall not stand for him nor even by him, for your 
insistances make this a matter between men. You have little understanding of this state of affairs, I know, 
therefore do I attempt to teach you of it. Was there naught between us I would say no word upon your 
doings, for I would not have the right. Did you not continue to be held by childish anger and petulance I 
would say no word for there would then be little need. There shall ever be a place for you beside me in 
my furs, therefore need you no longer torment this man. Come to me and allow me to ease your need as 
I have done in the past, and we need say no more concerning meetings and slayings. I shall hold you near 
to me as gently or as strongly as you wish, and we shall both banish all thoughts of anger and 
disagreement." 

Earnestly did the male look upon me as his words ended, and though I felt the warmth and strength of the 
arms he spoke of I was also able to recall his vow to challenge the gods. Much did I wish to put my 
hands to my face and hide myself from the thought of that challenge, but that was impossible. Well did I 
know that were the male to stand in jeopardy I would not find myself able to deny his need, despite the 
curling fear in my soul, despite the agony and terror I would face. I would need to face again that which 
few were able to survive a first time, and my courage flagged and faded with the thought of it. Far better 
that I send the male from me, to pursue another who was not possessed jealously by the gods. 

"The male Mehrayn is mistaken," said I, again sending the comb calmly through my hair. "There is naught 
between us to be considered, naught which moves me to a wish for his use. As for my brother Chaldrin, 
he has been accepted in the service of Mida. Should he be slain, the war leader Jalav shall avenge him, 
even against one who will not raise sword to her. Then shall there be two who are slain, and Jalav shall 
continue on in the service of the gods-without males to bedevil her. You seek a thing which is not and 
never shall be, male. Seek it elsewhere, and all may survive to face the strangers." 

It was not possible for me to keep my gaze upon him, yet was I aware of the hurt and rage which drove 
him to his feet and away from where I sat. Mehrayn had no further words to speak, which was truly a 


blessing, yet would a greater blessing have been for Jalav to fall senseless to the ground. With no more 
than a few angry strides was the male gone entirely from me, and already had the ache of his going begun 
deep within. Mehrayn was denied me as Ceralt had been denied me, yet the ache came as though the 
matter might be done otherwise. A great fool was Jalav, and more than a fool, to feel such a thing for 
those who would never be hers. 

blessing, yet would a greater blessing have been for Jalav to fall senseless to the ground. With no more 
than a few angry strides was the male gone entirely from me, and already had the ache of his going begun 
deep within. Mehrayn was denied me as Ceralt had been denied me, yet the ache came as though the 
matter might be done otherwise. A great fool was Jalav, and more than a fool, to feel such a thing for 
those who would never be hers. 

With the toray fed upon I completed the combing of my hair as best I might, and then did I return the 
comb to its place upon my kan. Ilvin and the male S'Heernoh had both gone briefly into the pond to wash 
themselves, and as darkness had already fallen all those about the camp prepared to take their rest. The 
crackling fire cast shadows all about as S'Heernoh joined the Summa, and Chaldrin looked up as I halted 
before his cloth-covered lenga pelt. Even with the cloth the fur would be overwarm to lie upon, yet for 
once Mida's bare ground held little attraction for me. Chaldrin looked upon me where I stood silent and 
unmoving, joined my silence for a moment, then turned his head toward Ilvin. 

"Girl, go to those Sigurri warriors who ride with the Sword and tell them you are theirs for this darkness," 
said he to Ilvin, his tone gentle yet firm. "Should they be uninterested in the use of a wench, seek a 
solitary place to take your rest. You are not to return here." 

Ilvin, clearly distressed, parted her lips to speak, yet did the words die on her tongue when her gaze met 
mine. There was naught she might do save obey no matter the humiliation obedience brought her, and the 
realization of this truth took her away into the shadows. With her departure Chaldrin sighed, patted the 
cloth beside him, then waited till I had lowered myself near him before he spoke. 

"So you would slay the Sword if he were to slay me," he murmured, his eyes upon me though I looked 
only at my folded legs. "Your honor would demand such a thing, I know, and I also know you capable of 
doing what must be done. Despite all, I feel compelled to ask: would you truly find it within you to cut 
Mehrayn down? I speak of no other, mind you; solely Mehrayn." 

The cloth-covered pelt beneath me was warm and yielding, calling comfort to my weary body. I opened 
my swordbelt and removed it then put it aside, yet were there still no words to reply with. Chaldrin had 
said I had spoken untruth, yet was there naught of insult felt within me, for he was correct. I would not 
have found myself able to strike down Mehrayn, no matter the cause, no matter the provocation. 

"So I thought," said Chaldrin with a further sigh when it was clear I would not reply to him. "It would not 
be possible for you to slay him, for you feel for him what he feels for you. For what reason then, have 
you entirely denied him?" 

"He would throw his life away in an attempt to wrest me from the gods," I whispered, the pain of the 
thought touching me again. "I would buy back his life as I did with another, yet do I fear I no longer have 
the strength. He would be lost then, and I likely surviving to recall my failure, and all would be far more 
unbearable. Far better that he find belief in my words, and ride elsewhere to seek another." 

"And this you believe he will do." The words of Chaldrin were without inflection, neither giving support to 
the comment nor questioning it. I raised my eyes to look upon his shadow-darkened face, then nodded 
my head. 


"He shall do so for I shall see to it," said I, lifting one hand to stroke it slowly down his arm from his 
shoulder. "I have no understanding of the reason he dislikes the thought of my use of another male, yet 
am I able to understand that such use speaks of there being naught between us. I had desired the 
pleasure of you for this darkness, brother, and now do I have need of it as well. Am I to be refused?" 

"He shall do so for I shall see to it," said I, lifting one hand to stroke it slowly down his arm from his 
shoulder. "I have no understanding of the reason he dislikes the thought of my use of another male, yet 
am I able to understand that such use speaks of there being naught between us. I had desired the 
pleasure of you for this darkness, brother, and now do I have need of it as well. Am I to be refused?" 

"Had you demanded my agreement I would surely have refused you," said he, with resignation in his 
voice. "Had you sought to bring anger or jealousy to the Sword, I would also have refused you. 
However, as your intentions are honorable, and as I cannot refuse you when you call me brother in such 
a voice-" 

His words ended as his arm came to my waist, and then was I lifted back to lie upon the cloth-covered 
fur away from the fire, the back of Chaldrin turned toward it. The hand of the male caressed my breast a 
brief moment before lowering to the ties of my breech, and then were his lips beside my ear. 

"The Sword does not dislike the thought of another man possessing you," Chaldrin murmured, slowly 
opening my breech and pulling it away. "The thought is abhorrent to him, as it would be to any man with 
sense. Should your schemings go counter to your expectations I am likely a dead man, and yet-" His 
hand, moving between my thighs, drew a soft gasp from me as my hands went to his arms, and gently he 
chuckled. "And yet, my girl, this will be the first I have had willing use from you. Perhaps the cost is not 
unreasonable." 

His lips came to mine as the heat began to rise within me, brought about by his touch upon my 
womanhood and the feel of his thickly muscled body against me. Well had I known that Chaldrin would 
have the ability to cause me to feel so, and deep was my need for strong pleasure without thought. Had it 
not been foolish I would have wished Chaldrin to be another, one who filled more than the emptiness 
Chaldrin would fill, yet was it indeed foolishness and idle as well. Again I moaned, beginning to lose 
myself, and such was surely for the best. 

CH 4. An abrupt departure-and the will of the gods 

Fully had I expected Mehrayn to depart the camp with the new light in return to his city. My use of 
Chaldrin was to have shown him there was naught between him and me in accordance with his own 
views, yet had I forgotten how greatly lacking were males in reason. When we again took to the trail 
Mehrayn and his males were with us, he who was called Sigurr's Sword silent and grim. 

Of those who rode in our set, no other save Ilvin emulated Mehrayn. The pale-haired Hitta warrior was 
fully disturbed, for the two Sigurri who accompanied Mehrayn had accepted her use for the darkness 
with wide grins. They, unlike Chaldrin, had not considered even briefly the allowing of Ilvin her own 
method of use, instead taking their pleasure by making Ilvin helpless to their demands. The Hitta's time in 
the capture of the followers of the Oneness had been harsh and cruel, ill preparing her for the use which 
Chaldrin and the Sigurri took. To be used with no thought for her own pleasure allows a warrior the 
dignity of hatred and the considering of revenge, yet to be made to feel great desire and need before she 
is granted use brings naught save humiliation. The consternation in Ilvin's eyes showed she began to learn 
the lesson I had meant for her, the lesson teaching what might well have been her fate forever. 

Wedin and Dotil had looked fondly upon the gray-haired male S'Heernoh when all three were mounted, 
and the male had returned their look with amused delight. It had pleased the Summa to allow the male 
their use rather than taking his, and they had not regretted their decision. Despite the age of the male he 


had been able to satisfy both of those he followed, which put a knowledge of justification for the request 
she had made in Wedin's eyes. 

had been able to satisfy both of those he followed, which put a knowledge of justification for the request 
she had made in Wedin's eyes. 

For our mid-fey meal was there smoked toray, the last of the beast the heat of the land would allow us to 
taste. I fed with more relish than I had the darkness previous, and also did I come to the decision that 
more must be done to rid myself of the presence of Mehrayn. To allow him to remain with my set was to 
invite disaster, for one may not know what foolishness will suddenly enter the head of a male such as he. 
The sense of dignity he possessed was considerable, therefore I thought that bruising his dignity might 
well send him to ride elsewhere. When Chaldrin left my side to speak to Ilvin upon some matter which 
displeased him, with S'Heernoh also gone to look over the hooves of his kan, I turned to the Summa and 
briefly discussed my thoughts with them. Both grinned with amusement though they did not fully 
understand, and both agreed to assist me. Our journey to their homelands would be long, and diversions 
on such a journey were welcome indeed. 

Nearly were we prepared to resume our journey, when Wedin and Dotil strolled toward where the three 
black-clad Sigurri warriors stood. Mehrayn paid them little mind and moved off toward the kand, yet 
were his males eager for their attention, puffing themselves up and grinning at the Summas' approach. 
Soft words were at first exchanged between the four, and then did Wedin laugh aloud the while Dotil 
grinned. 

"Our interest in the males about us has its limit, Gidain," said Wedin to the Sigurri who had spoken to 
them the fey previous, her voice loud. "For what reason would we find interest in one who was spurned 
by all others? That warrior is foolish who takes the use of a male out of pity." 

"Indeed," said Dotil in agreement, taking no heed of the manner in which both Sigurri paled and 
attempted to gesture the Summa to silence. "The male must truly be clumsy and inept, far beyond the few 
words of derision Jalav has spoken, despite the heartiness of his appearance. He continues to follow a 
war leader who has wearied of his clumsiness, most likely through there being no other female who will 
have him. And you would have us offer him use, as though he were worthy of our attentions? Seldom 
have we heard such foolishness." 

"You have not heard such foolishness this time!" hissed the male Gidain, filled with fury, yet were his 
words far too late. He had hesitated in speechlessness after Dotil had done speaking, and a furiously 
red-faced Mehrayn had jumped to the back of his kan and ridden off. I felt a bottomless relief at the 
ending of Mehrayn's intentions to challenge those he had no hope of finding victory over, and stood 
looking after him where he had disappeared into the forest, pleased beyond words. The Summa had 
done well in using his pride against him, I thought, yet strangely enough another was not as pleased as I. 

"To have a man treated so is naught to smile over," said S'Heernoh to me, great disapproval evident in 
the sharpness of his gaze. "He has done naught to deserve such humiliation at the hands of a wench." 

"You speak to no wench but a war leader, male," said I, my words cold with the passing of surprise, my 
body stiffening in insult. "Should you wish to continue speaking so, first find a blade to give you the right. 


Insult may not be given by one who fears to arm himself." 

Insult may not be given by one who fears to arm himself." 

His words ended abruptly, as though he had no need to speak the last of them, and in truth he had not. I 
might perhaps have spoken of the truth he had not seen, yet did I turn from him instead and go to my 
kan. Far better Mehrayn suffer the small hurt and be kept from the greater, and this I would continue to 
believe no matter the beliefs of others. 

Our journey through the forests continued in silence, all deeply enmeshed in thoughts of their own. The 
two Sigurri males had been unsure upon the point of continuing on with us, for their purpose had been to 
accompany Mehrayn, who was no longer with the set. Had it been I, I would have followed his track to 
see where he had gone, yet the two Sigurri seemed reluctant to face the one who was their leader. That 
they had spoken naught of the request attributed to them by Wedin and Dotil had no meaning, for 
Mehrayn might well be too embarrassed and ashamed to heed their protestations of innocence. They 
chose to continue with our set the while they considered what other thing might be done, yet did they ride 
far to the rear, away from the balance of us. 

Wedin and Dotil had disliked the words spoken to me by their male, yet had S'Heernoh turned a deaf 
ear toward their attempt to remonstrate with him. He rode ahead of us upon his gray kan, his gaze turned 
inward, his silence a strong rebuke against what the Summa had done. Chaldrin continued to ride beside 
me, yet his gaze spoke of the displeasure he felt and also of his anger. It irked me that the males behaved 
so, as though it would have been better had I allowed Mehrayn to remain where his life would surely 
have been placed in jeopardy, yet wasn't irrationality to be expected from males? It requires a warrior to 
think clearly, and males, no matter that they took the calling to themselves, were scarcely warriors. 

Perhaps two hind passed in undisturbed travel, and then was our set forced to turn our path east. The 
sounds of lenga battle came to us clearly from ahead and to the west, the volume of growling and 
screaming speaking of a great gathering. Well might it have been a mating gathering, which all those who 
rode and lived within the forests were wise enough to avoid. After a while were caves again visible to us 
in the distance, far ahead through the trees, so that we had to turn north again if we were not to be halted 
by the stone of their presence. This we began to do, and then did a deep rumble come to us from out of 
the distance. 

"The skies begin to speak with Sigurr's anger," said Chaldrin, seeking sight of the blue which lay above 
the tops of the trees we rode through. "Perhaps it was unwise of you to do as you did with his chosen 
Sword." 

"Thunder from out of Mida's skies brings naught of fear to her warriors," I retorted, seeing the manner in 
which the light of the fey turned brassy as it dimmed, and also the movement of the trees in the sudden 
wind which sprang up and stiffened. "Clearly does a storm approach, one of those which arise from 
naught, drop the tears of Mida quickly, then depart as rapidly as they came. Have you never seen a 
storm of that sort?" 


"I have seen many storms in these parts," said Chaldrin, looking about himself as the skies darkened as 
though the hand of Mida covered her light, and great, heavy drops of rain began to fall. "Never, however, 
have I seen one as brief and gentle as that which you describe. We must find shelter, and that at once." 

"I have seen many storms in these parts," said Chaldrin, looking about himself as the skies darkened as 
though the hand of Mida covered her light, and great, heavy drops of rain began to fall. "Never, however, 
have I seen one as brief and gentle as that which you describe. We must find shelter, and that at once." 

"The caves!" shouted a male voice, one impossible to distinguish from the sounds all about us. "We must 
take shelter in the caves!" 

All of the kand were plunging with fear, attempting to pull from the reins which held them and race away 
from storm-brought terror. The rain had thickened to such a downpour that it was difficult to see about 
oneself, and clearly the caves which we had seen were the sole place we would indeed find shelter. I 
gestured onward through the pelting rain in the hopes that I might be seen, and then did I urge my kan in 
the proper direction, which he took at once. In the midst of rain and wind and darkness were the others 
quickly lost, yet had I seen them in a flash of lightning, and knew that they rode in the direction I did. 

The ride to the caves was long and difficult, for my kan quickly discovered it could not race at full tilt as it 
wished to. Trees loomed too often in our path, and it was necessary to take care till they thinned enough 
to allow us to hurry. The stony ground before the caves was slippery from wetness, the darkened 
openings shown in a flare of lightning-fury spaced far one from the other. It mattered not at all to me 
which my kan chose, for memory lived strong within me of the last time I had experienced such a storm, 
toward the end of my time in Ranistard. The storm had come during the lashing decreed for me by 
Galiose, he who was High Seat of Ranistard, and each time lightning cracked and thunder spoke I was 
again able to feel the lash descending, cutting my flesh and bringing untold agony. My kan slowed before 
an opening large enough to admit him, giving me opportunity to slide from his back before he plunged 
within, leaving me to stumble shuddering in his wake. The cave might well have been the lair of some 
child of the wild, yet upon the moment I cared no more than my kan. The need I felt to be away from the 
storm transcended every care and consideration, even that which might well become a life threat. I 
entered the cave and moved from the entrance nearly as far as my kan, we both bringing trails and pools 
and drippings of water with us, and then I crouched down with my arms about me, attempting to quiet 
the shudderings which continued to bring tremors to my body. The thunder raved on in seeming anger 
that it had been escaped, and I know not how many reckid passed before it came to me that there was 
light in the cave in which I crouched, the light of a torch. I raised my head in lack of understanding, 
looking belatedly about, and there, in the entrance to a farther cave with faint light streaming out behind, 
stood the male S'Heernoh. 

"I-found these torches upon the ground when I first arrived and struck a light," said he, his voice odd as 
he looked upon me. "Likely they were left by those who took shelter here at some earlier time. I arrived 
enough before you so that I have also been able to light a small fire in the second cavern. " 

He stood unmoving as he spoke, his face expressionless, and well did I recall the manner in which he had 
addressed me earlier in the fey. Though I had no wish at all to go again into the storm without, I had even 
less desire to remain with one who had so little relish for my presence. I arose from my crouch and 
turned again toward the opening through which I had so recently come, yet the words of the male came 
again before I had gone more than two or three paces. 


"Wait!" he called. "I cannot fault you for wishing naught of my company after the words I spoke earlier, 
however you cannot mean to brave the storm again. The next nearest caves are no short distance, and 
we need not even share the same cavern. I have already dried myself somewhat by the fire, and it would 
please me to see you do the same." 

"Wait!" he called. "I cannot fault you for wishing naught of my company after the words I spoke earlier, 
however you cannot mean to brave the storm again. The next nearest caves are no short distance, and 
we need not even share the same cavern. I have already dried myself somewhat by the fire, and it would 
please me to see you do the same." 

"And yet it is," said he, his voice smoothening to coaxing as his step sounded nearer upon the stone of the 
floor. "I saw its distance when I saw those men in black, the Sigurri warriors, enter it just before I entered 
here. And there is sufficient wood for a second fire which I will build here, in this cavern, for myself. 
Once I have taken the wood, I will not enter that cavern again to disturb you." 

I turned my head to look at the male, and though he smiled, I continued to feel a good deal of reluctance 
to remain, and yet to leave that place only to go to the place chosen by the Sigurri males would be idle. 
In truth I had the wish for the company of none of those I rode with, and perhaps the farther cavern 
would truly be the best of it. My nod of acceptance had more than a bit of reluctance within it, yet the 
smile of the male warmed regardless. 

"I shall fetch the wood and my kan at once," said S'Heernoh, his hand lifting as though he would touch 
my shoulder, then withdrawing as he turned from me and hurried toward the other opening. I followed 
more slowly, considering taking my kan farther within, yet did the beast back from me somewhat as I 
approached, as though in fear that I meant to return it to the insanity of the storm. Its eyes seemed 
prepared to roll wildly with the fear it felt, therefore did I leave it be and enter the next cavern without it. 

The second cavern was a mate to the first, rounded rather than squared and large enough to have held 
our entire traveling set within it. The single torch set within the rock of the wall was like that in the outer 
cavern, though aided by the presence of a fire near to the back wall. S'Heernoh had taken a double 
armload of wood from a pile which was much of a surprise by cause of its size, and the amusement had 
returned to his smile as he moved toward his kan. 

"Those who were here before us must surely have anticipated a lengthy stay," said he, taking up the rein 
of his kan. "I have left cloths for you, with which you may take a deal of the wetness which covers you. I 
have others which I shall use in the outer cavern, and shall not disturb you." 

His nod was friendly in a way I did not understand. Much did I doubt that there would ever be true 
friendliness between the male and myself, yet did I follow him to the opening through which he had gone, 
and looked on as he crouched beneath the torch. 

"Should you require further wood," said I when his eyes were upon me, "you may enter and take it as 
you please. The cave, and the wood as well, were first yours. There would be little honor for this warrior 
in seeing you do without." 

"Lady, you are most gracious," said he, remaining crouched where he had been, the smile warming the 
dark of his eyes. "Few females will consider a man so, preferring that he consider them to the exclusion 
of all things including himself. You do me honor by sharing my shelter." 

Well did I know what honor my presence was for him, therefore did I turn away from the words which 
were not meant to be heeded and return to the fire which awaited me. As the male had said, there were 
cloths before the fire, therefore did I first remove my swordbelt and draw the sword given me by Mida, 
then took up one of the cloths. So penetrating the rain had been, that the blade of my sword was nearly 
as wet as that of my dagger. First did I see my sword wiped, and then my dagger and life sign, and only 
then did I begin upon my own self. A warrior will ever see first to her weapons, else is she no warrior; 


the dark red crumbling will take any weapon not properly cared for, and that most likely when it is raised 
against an enemy. I crouched before the fire, the wet breech stripped from me, the stone rough yet warm 
beneath my feet, drying my body and hair and regretting that I had no oil to see more completely to my 
sword. Once the storm was gone, I would find the oil I required. 

the dark red crumbling will take any weapon not properly cared for, and that most likely when it is raised 
against an enemy. I crouched before the fire, the wet breech stripped from me, the stone rough yet warm 
beneath my feet, drying my body and hair and regretting that I had no oil to see more completely to my 
sword. Once the storm was gone, I would find the oil I required. 

He who was called Sigurr's Sword stood astare in the opening, his thumbs in his swordbelt, his red hair 
darkened with wet, his broad face surrounding the deep anger gleaming from the green of his eyes. So 
large and well-muscled was he, so tall did he stand, that a thing deep within me chilled to see him so. He 
stood no more than a moment staring upon me in silence, and then did he come forward, away from the 
opening and toward me. Again did the chill twist about inside me, for my sword lay a number of paces 
behind me, beside the fire. No time at all was there to turn and make for it, scarcely was there time to 
take my dagger from its leg bands and bring it up, the front of my hand against the leather of my life sign 
where it was wound about the hilt just below the guard. I stood in readiness as the anger in the eyes of 
the male increased, his glance going to the blade in my hand, his pace slackened not at all as he came 
toward me, heedless of my weapon. I slashed the blade toward him, meaning to catch him below the ribs 
and give him what my sword had given Chaldrin, yet did my blade meet naught save air, for the male 
twisted about with unexpected speed to avoid the stroke. A heartbeat and half breath later my arm and 
hand were in his grip, the arm held tight, Mehrayn's back to me, the hand turned in some manner so that I 
was unable to struggle or free myself. One turn and the dagger was gone from lifeless fingers, one pull 
and I followed the weapon quickly to the rock of the floor. No sound save a pair or two of scuffling 
footsteps had been made in the dimness of torch and firelight, yet I lay upon the stone unable to move, 
unable to keep the dripping, red-haired, kneeling figure from capturing my left wrist as well and adding it 
to the right. With both wrists together was the irresistible pressure gone and I able to struggle again, 
against what fate I knew not, yet did I know I wished naught of it. 

"You have now raised that weapon to me twice," said Mehrayn, looking down upon me where I lay, his 
voice overly soft with the anger he felt. "In the first instance you received no punishment, yet this instance 
shall not be the same. Should you ever attempt such a thing again, you had best see that I am quickly 
slain; should I continue among the living, your regret will be very deep." 

My regret was already deep for I had not expected to see the foolish male again, nor had I thought he 
would be able to take my dagger with such ease. The hardness of the rock pressed into my back as I 
tried uselessly to free my wrists, faint sounds of storm-fury drifting through from the other cavern again 
touching and bringing forth memories of pain. The male meant to revenge himself upon me for the attack I 
had attempted-and likely the humiliation he had been given as well-and there was naught I might do to 
prevent it. 

"For what reason do I hear no words from you?" Mehrayn demanded after a brief moment of silence, his 
anger continuing as it had been. "Are you no longer the chosen of all the gods there are, far above the 
doings and wishes of mere males? Will you not tell me of the terrible fate awaiting me should I dare to 
touch you in punishment? Speak to me, woman and warn me away as you have ever done!" 


I moved my wrists in discomfort against his strengthening grip, making no attempt to meet the blaze in his 
eyes, or to speak the words he demanded. Well had I learned that Mida would not shield me from the 
pain given by males, therefore would all words be useless. Males are males, after all, and words may do 
naught against their intentions. 

I moved my wrists in discomfort against his strengthening grip, making no attempt to meet the blaze in his 
eyes, or to speak the words he demanded. Well had I learned that Mida would not shield me from the 
pain given by males, therefore would all words be useless. Males are males, after all, and words may do 
naught against their intentions. 

"I do not hesitate," growled Mehrayn, his eyes continuing angrily upon the male I was unable to see, his 
broad hands still clamped about my wrists. "There is no need for anyone to halt me, for I have no 
intentions of offering this wench harm. It is words I will have from her, and those right quickly." 

The anger-filled gaze returned once more to me, but I knew not what words he awaited, for I had none 
which he would heed. 

"Do you seek to have her beg to be released?" came the voice of S'Heernoh again, puzzlement clear in 
the tone of it. "She may well hesitate to do such a thing, Prince, yet am I able to assure you that freedom 
would bring her deep gratitude, so deep that she will surely recall the doing in the most favorable of lights. 
Her gratitude will . . ." 

"Gratitude!" interrupted Mehrayn with a snort of derision, halting the flow of smoothly spoken words 
from the other male. "This female is incapable of true gratitude, incapable of accepting a freely given 
gesture, incapable of believing that gesture performed without hidden motivations: And I do not await a 
begging of any sort from her. I know well enough she would sooner give up her life." 

His gaze continued to flame down toward me, his anger unabating, and when I again attempted to 
struggle free from his grip, he moved from his crouch to kneel above me, his knees straddling my body. 

"Do you await words of apology, then?" asked S'Heernoh, his voice somewhat fainter than it had been. 
"The wench must truly be in discomfort to be held so, therefore perhaps you would consider . . . . " 

"I will consider naught save continuing her discomfort!" snapped Mehrayn. "My own discomfort has 
continued long enough and strongly enough, yet what consideration have I had from her? The words I 
await are ones of explanation, ones I shall have even should it be necessary to hold her here as I now do 
till Sigurr tires of our world and sends the flames of ending to destroy it! The longer I think upon the 
matter the higher my anger grows, therefore had her words best come quickly! For what reason do you 
insist so upon facing me, wench? For what reason does the need burn so within you?" 

His anger approached nearer as he leaned down farther toward me, yet the greater confusion he also 
brought was a distraction from that anger. I moved my wrists against the strength of his grip, feeling the 
dampness of his flesh where it touched my body, unable to free my hair where most of it lay crushed 
beneath me. 

"I have already spoken of what reasons I have which cause my wish to face the male Mehrayn," I 
replied, sending my own gaze up toward him. "At this moment, the male does naught save add to them." 

"Indeed?" said Mehrayn, his brows rising in mock questioning. "You seek to face me now in insult over 
what was done to you by me, for now you have learned that I am no stranger to the hilt of a sword? You 
attempt to face me as you faced Chaldrin when he allowed you the challenge, yet do I have a question 
concerning that bout: in what manner did you learn of Chaldrin's prowess? Whose valued opinion 


assured you of his ability to face you?" 

assured you of his ability to face you?" 

"You continued to demand the challenge," said Mehrayn, the words putting a glint in the green of his 
gaze. "Am I mistaken in believing that you first gave him challenge upon the moment he initially refused to 
grant you freedom? How then did you know of his prowess? And for what reason would you accept the 
opinion of mere 'males,' those whose own abilities are so often, in your own words, clumsy and inept? 
What then of the dishonor in facing one whose abilities are less than yours?" 

"A warrior is free to challenge any who attempt her capture!" I snapped, struggling yet further against the 
strength which held me. "All males show great bravery when Jalav is bound, less when they must face her 
with weapon in fist!" 

"A warrior is free to do many things, it seems," said Mehrayn, deliberately taking no note of my struggles. 
"Most especially is a warrior free to begrudge and envy the skill of others, as petulantly as any wench of 
the cities. Why do you fail to shrill in anger and stamp your foot as well as offer challenge, child warrior? 
Perhaps then a man would allow his patience to fly, and immediately grant you your challenge." 

"You would accuse a warrior of envying the skill of a male?" I said in derision, scarcely able to credit the 
foolishness he spoke. "For what reason would one envy another for possessing less than she? You speak 
as do all males, without reason and without sense, and I have long since grown weary of it. Release me 
immediately!" 

"If there is no sense in what I speak," said Mehrayn, the anger growing yet again, "for what reason did 
you not insist upon challenge before you were told of how great a skill I am the possessor of? For what 
reason was it necessary that you first be told you could not best me before highly incensed insult touched 
you? For what reason do you do all in your power to force me to face you, rather than merely drawing 
your weapon and having at me? Is it for the reason that merely slaying me would not allow you to boast 
that you had bested me? Is it for the very possible reason that the smallness of your soul will not allow 
another to go unmolested who might well be your superior? Must all those about you bow to your mighty 
blade or be slain? What if I were to best you instead? What if you were to find defeat rather than 
victory? What then, wench?" 

His voice had risen to deafening shouts, and so great was his anger that the grip he held me in had 
become true pain. My thoughts whirled in agitation over the words he spoke, for I found myself unable to 
bear the truth I had been forced to see. Perhaps at first my anger toward him and his doing in the caverns 
had caused me to be incensed over the thought that he might possess the skill to best me with swords, 
yet then had come the unacknowledged fancy that all pain and striving would at last come to an end were 
he able to bury a blade in me. How greatly I longed for such an end I had not known myself, for I had 
pursued and provoked the male at every opportunity, speaking of insult only so that I need not 
acknowledge the truth even in my own heart. To attain the blessed peace of the eternal darkness I would 
have gladly forsaken all those who looked to me for leadership and succor, and so deeply shamed did I 
feel that I closed my eyes and turned my face from the male who glared furiously upon me. To forsake 
those who had placed their trust in one is unforgivable, no matter the burdens one carries, no matter the 
weight and pain of them. So great a coward had Jalav become that naught meant more to her than her 
own comfort and wishes, and in whatever manner the male took his revenge, the coward Jalav had 
earned the pain in full measure. 

A moment of silence passed as my mind thrashed about in the confines of self-made shame, and then did 


the grip loosen upon my wrists as Mehrayn shifted about. 

the grip loosen upon my wrists as Mehrayn shifted about. 

"The loss of this one would be minimal at best," I replied in a whisper, hearing the bitterness in his voice 
yet understanding naught of it. "I have, however, certain duties which seemed to have slipped from my 
thoughts, therefore must I withdraw my challenge to you. She who is Jalav is not free to lightly face one 
who might well best her." 

Again came the silence surrounding the dark of closed lids in which I lay, and again did Mehrayn move 
about upon his knees. The feel of the stone against them could not have been one of comfort, yet he 
continued to hold me in place as he had. Then, as though the words fought their way through clouds of 
confusion, he spoke. 

"Sooner would I have thought to hear begging than that which you have just voiced, wench," said he, his 
anger momentarily forgotten beneath the weight of puzzlement. "You withdraw the challenge? Just so 
easily? You will no longer seek to face me?" 

"Blindness no longer covers me, and my duty stands clear again in my sight," said I with a sigh, looking 
upon him once more. "Should the male Mehrayn think upon the matter and find that his anger demands 
challenge after all, Jalav will meet him after the strangers have come and been seen to. She will then be 
free to do as she wishes." 

"Yet till then the matter of challenge must be forgotten," said Mehrayn in a mutter filled with growing 
pleasure. "I had not thought to find myself joyed at the prospect of the arrival of those who mean us ill, 
yet now-" His muttering ended as his gaze returned to me, and a smile turned his lips. "Should the choice 
be left to me, wench, there shall never be challenge between us, for I shall never face you. I am endlessly 
pleased that matters between us may now return to that which they were." 

With such words did his head then lower toward mine, his intention clearly to have our lips touch, yet 
such a thing could not be allowed. I had seen naught to suggest he no longer meant defiance of the gods, 
and I would continue forever to refuse to be party to such mindlessness. I turned my head quickly so that 
his lips found my ear rather than that which they had sought, and his head rose again in immediate 
annoyance. 

"Perhaps this time it is I who has forgotten," said he dryly, "yet does it seem that matters between us were 
other than this. I cannot recall having often sought your ear to kiss. It is your lips I wish, wench, and I 
wish them now." 

Again his head lowered toward me, and again I turned my face from him. "Your wishes are of no 
concern to me, male," said I to the even greater annoyance in his eyes. "I have said there is naught 
between us, and have also attempted to prove that. Even a male should have found the doings sufficiently 
clear for full understanding, therefore may you now release me." 

"May I indeed," said he, gazing down upon me with a lowering look which showed how completely his 
previous pleasure had departed. "And for what reason is there now naught between us, when till now 
there was more than I had ever known was possible?" 

"I find I have tired of you," said I, speaking the lie with discomfort as I moved my wrists in his continuing 
grip. "A war leader is accustomed to using many males, and the use of no more than one grows quickly 
tiring. I shall never again find interest in you; therefore may you give over all thoughts of defying the gods. 


The gesture would be an empty one, even were it possible to find survival and victory." 

The gesture would be an empty one, even were it possible to find survival and victory." 

"I see," said he, glancing briefly at S'Heernoh, whose sigh had returned his presence to our awareness. 
"You no longer find interest in me, therefore need I no longer consider defying the gods. It strikes me that 
you are correct, and I shall indeed no longer consider such a thing, however-" 

The pleasure that his words brought was short-lived, for he quickly slid one arm beneath me, turned me 
to my belly upon the stone, then brought my arms down and crossed my wrists at my back. 

"I, myself, have not yet tired of you," he continued, fumbling about briefly with one hand before the feel of 
a strip of leather was brought to my wrists. "As you no longer find me of interest, it will be necessary that 
I hold you in capture till I have had my fill of you. That will easily take the balance of this fey and all of the 
darkness to follow." 

The accursed male chuckled as he tightened the leather about my wrists, then backed upon his knees till 
he was able to do the same with a second strip about my ankles, paying no mind to the manner in which I 
growled and struggled in fury. The stone of the floor put grit on my breasts and belly and all down the 
front of me, the sole accomplishment of my struggles; the leather refused to stretch free to loose me from 
the male. 

"I shall return momentarily to begin the enjoyment of my captive," said Mehrayn, stroking my thigh before 
rising to his feet. "I desire greater comfort than this cavern now provides, and my kin has not yet been 
seen to." 

With little concern did he then leave the cavern, crossing before S'Heernoh, who stood perhaps a pace 
from the opening. The gray-haired male was clearly amused at Mehrayn's doing, yet when he saw my 
eyes upon him he attempted to swallow his amusement. 

"The thongs have not been tightened too far upon you, have they, war leader?" he asked, some small 
indication of true concern evident in his tone. "Should you be in pain, I feel certain that the Prince will 
immediately loosen them." 

"It would please me to loosen certain parts of the Prince!" I snarled low, furious that the male would dare 
to attempt to make me his captive. "My dagger lies here beside me, S'Heernoh. Take it up quickly and 
free me." 

"Alas, war leader, I may do no such thing," the Mida-forsaken male replied with a return of amusement, 
badly hidden beneath a false look of sorrow. "As you have so often pointed out, one who fails to bear 
weapons would be a fool to stand in the path of one of skill. I have, in my time, held a hilt in my fist, yet 
was I far from the best among my people. As I am unable to challenge the prince for his captive, that 
captive must remain his. It is my fondest hope that that captivity will not prove to be too-tiring." 

His bow took his smirk briefly from my sight, and then did he turn and depart through the opening. The 
snarl in my throat was well high wordless, yet was Mida surely able to make out in it my demand for her 
wrath to fall upon the heads of all males alike. Had Mehrayn attempted to give me pain in vengeance for 
that which I had done to him I would not have made an effort to deny him, yet I could not bear the 
thought of spending another darkness in his capture. Once before had he held me briefly in capture, and 
no warrior in even partial possession of her wits and reason would wish for another darkness like it. The 
male had been impossible, as totally beyond reasoning with as all males, and memory of that time set me 
to squirming about upon the stone in an effort to reach the dagger which lay near where I lay. It had 


become desperately necessary that I free myself, and that as quickly as possible. 

become desperately necessary that I free myself, and that as quickly as possible. 

"Your dexterity is truly admirable, wench," said Mehrayn, stepping over me to halt where I might see him 
with my dagger in his hands. Also did he hold his cloth-covered lenga fur, rolled and tucked beneath one 
arm, the smile he showed one of true amusement. "Had I not returned when I did, my captive might well 
have been lost due to that dexterity, yet does the effort remain admirable. A pity it was fated to be 
wasted. " 

I ground my teeth and struggled against the leather at sound of his chuckle, yet were my doings ignored 
as the male had already turned from me to walk closer to the fire S'Heernoh had built. My dagger was 
dropped with my swordbelt, the rolled fur was opened and spread upon the stone of the floor, and then 
did Mehrayn open his own swordbelt and remove his weapons. Once they had been carefully placed 
with mine, the male turned toward me again. 

"It will be pleasant having a captive for this darkness," said he, coming to where he had earlier stood. 
"Though a man is relieved of the necessity of adhering strictly to his devotions when he travels from our 
city, his body has nevertheless grown accustomed to those devotions and voices serious complaint when 
it is disallowed its usual performance. We must cause you to feel great desire for me, wench, else shall I 
likely bring you harm." 

"I have no wish to feel desire for you!" I spat as he went to one knee, put his arms beneath me, then lifted 
me from the stone. "The sole desire I have is for solitude, the solitude which was mine before your 
arrival!" 

"Wench, it is unheard of to be captive in solitude," said he, his tone gently admonishing as he rose to his 
feet. "One must be reasonable in these matters even though one is female. Let us have no further 
foolishness now, for there is much undone left before us." 

The ridiculing grin the male wore set me to struggling once again, yet the strength of his arms would have 
easily held me even had the leather been absent. With no effort was I taken to the covered lenga fur, set 
down upon it, then left as Mehrayn went to the cloths I had dried myself upon. After removing his black 
body cloth he set to drying himself, and once a good deal of the wetness had been taken from his body 
and hair, he returned with the cloth to the fur where I lay. 

"I dislike a captive with stone dust covering her," said he, putting himself upon the fur beside me. "We 
shall first see to the removal of the dust, and then we may continue on to those things which are required 
of a captive." 

Had it been possible to run from him I would certainly have done so, at great speed and with no thought 
given to dignity. He brought the cloth first to my breasts, the dampness of it taking the grit from my flesh 
slowly and carefully, his eyes all the while looking down into mine, his nearness and the touch of his hand 


nearly setting me to moaning. To allow the male to remain beside me would be to encourage his thoughts 
of defiance to rise again, yet how was I to see his life preserved when he did me so? Beneath me my 
hands were fists as I twisted about, my breathing grew more rapid despite my efforts to calm myself, and 
then did the male move the cloth to my middle and bend over the breast he had finished with. His kiss 
was fire to my flesh, so painful that I voiced a sound of desperate agony, so deeply pleasurable that I 
writhed with the need to feel the same all over me. 

nearly setting me to moaning. To allow the male to remain beside me would be to encourage his thoughts 
of defiance to rise again, yet how was I to see his life preserved when he did me so? Beneath me my 
hands were fists as I twisted about, my breathing grew more rapid despite my efforts to calm myself, and 
then did the male move the cloth to my middle and bend over the breast he had finished with. His kiss 
was fire to my flesh, so painful that I voiced a sound of desperate agony, so deeply pleasurable that I 
writhed with the need to feel the same all over me. 

"Jalav, I have only just barely begun," said he, his voice a murmur as his tongue also tasted of me, mild 
reproof again to be heard. "As you have so little interest in me, it will be quite some time before your 
desire is strong enough for you to be used. I would not wish to bring you harm." 

"Mida, take him from me!" I screamed as the cloth moved over my belly to my thighs, his lips and tongue 
continuing as they had been doing. My eyes squeezed shut and I writhed in earnest, my prayer to Mida 
as unfulfilled as it was unacknowledged. My desire for Mehrayn was so great that my body seemed 
unable to contain it, so fierce that I would have slain without stop for his use, so consuming that the mere 
thought of him made me his without question. It had been necessary to deny him so that his survival 
would be assured; that necessity remained, yet was it no longer possible to see to. The male had taken 
me in capture, a capture that ended all necessity save one. 

"I am endlessly pleased that your Mida chooses to allow your call to go unheeded," whispered Mehrayn, 
the cloth no longer in the hands that touched me. "You have been given to me by the gods for my 
pleasure, wench, a pleasure which is mine from no more than the sight of you. To also be allowed the 
touch of you, and the taste of you, and the use of you-A man would be a fool to believe life able to hold 
and bring more. I had thought to keep myself back from you for a time, as punishment for your misdeeds, 
yet such a punishment would be more mine than yours. I cannot keep myself from you, nor shall I attempt 
to do so." 

His lips came to me then, fiercely demanding, his hands touched me everywhere, adding to the flames 
which consumed me, and then was he gone, moving quickly to the leather which held my ankles. One tug 
and the knot was opened, one pull and the leather was gone, and then was he between my thighs, his 
desire quivering as it eagerly sought mine. Mida! So great was my need that I felt naught from the fingers 
of metal which held to my thighs, no more than the awareness of his manhood entering me coming to my 
flesh. He plunged deep with a grunt then gathered me to him, and as his lips took mine my thoughts were 
his as well. 

I know not how long a time Mehrayn spent in his use of me, yet was the time clearly more use than 
sharing. The determination to punish me was evident in his eyes from the time the first of his need was 
seen to, yet his intentions mattered not. Use or sharing, it was sufficient that I had him deep within me, 
filling that emptiness and that other which was unreachable by those who were not he. When final release 
took him I lay unmoving at last, my eyes closed to allow me to savor the last of his presence. I awaited 
his withdrawal, yet his hands came to my back instead, and his lips to my face. 

"I sense no resentment within you, my lovely hadat," said he, touching his lips to the closed lids over my 
eyes. "It was my intention again to give you punishment, and again I have failed. " 

"Mehrayn has not failed," said I, making no attempt to return sight to myself. "Jalav has been well and 
truly and thoroughly punished. She will not again attempt that which brought the punishment." 

A silence came, during which time my throat was given the presence of his lips, and then Mehrayn 


sighed. 

sighed. 

"You would do so?" I asked in vast surprise, at last finding the need to look upon him. "You would truly 
withdraw the vow?" 

"I have been given little choice," said he, faint annoyance to be seen in the sober green depths of his eyes. 
"Were I to keep to the vow, the wench I desire would be immediately gone from me, withdrawing herself 
in utter despair. As keeping to the vow would mean immediate defeat, how may I continue? It had not 
occurred to me that the gods would do battle in such a manner." 

"They do battle in whatever manner most pleases them," said I, disturbed over the anger which filled him 
at thought of his defeat. "Give thanks that they did battle in any manner, for they do not always have it so. 
Their chosen may not be halted in the tasks she sees to for them." 

"Had their chosen been old and ugly and infirm, the difficulty would not have arisen," said he, a sourness 
to him as he looked down upon me. "I dislike this state of affairs more than I care to speak of, yet shall I 
allow it to pass by without complaint under one condition: as I am to give up my vow, I will have a thing 
in its place." 

"What thing?" I asked, abruptly filled with confusion and disbelief. The male would bargain with the 
gods? 

"As I am not to be allowed full and complete possession of the woman I desire, I must be allowed her 
presence and use at any time I wish it," said he, his voice and eyes as implacably upon me as though I 
spoke for the gods. "I shall not allow my wishes to interfere with the tasks which have been given her, yet 
must those wishes at all other times be obeyed. Have I made myself clear?" 

"Indeed," said I, all at once aware of a great discomfort. "You would have the chosen of the gods in 
slavery. Has she given you such deep, unforgivable humiliation then?" 

"I would not have her in slavery," said he, a softening coming to his grimness as he stroked my hair. "It 
will not be as a slave that I take and use her, but as a promise of more to come when once her tasks are 
seen to. In no other manner will I find myself able to calm my desire for her." 

"And if the gods should choose not to accept your demand?" I asked, discomfort growing even higher. 
The male was truly impossible, and I knew not what to do. 

"If my request is refused," said he, leaning down toward me with determination, "then I shall have no 
choice save to continue to hold the wench in capture, keeping her from all those things the gods wish 
seen to. Should the doing mean my life, then so be it; my life is mine to do with as I please. I will not be 
swayed from the purpose I have chosen." 

I attempted to move in desperation beneath the male, yet the leather on my wrists and his continued 
presence upon me refused to allow it. Were I to deny his terms I would surely be sealing his fate, yet to 
accept them would be to place myself at his command. Mida! The male watched me closely, awaiting 
what words I would speak, yet words refused to come to me. My thoughts swirled about, first this way 
and then that, unable to find escape from the dilemma, finding instead only a small protest. 


"I am scarcely the one to speak such a request to," I faltered. "The decision is one for the gods to make, 
and I am not they." 

"I am scarcely the one to speak such a request to," I faltered. "The decision is one for the gods to make, 
and I am not they." 

"Mehrayn, I cannot!" I hissed, desperately. "Should I refuse, they will take your life to return my 
freedom! And should I agree, then my life is no longer mine! You cannot demand such a decision of 
me!" 

"Wench, I may do no other thing," said he, with compassion-and determination. "Sooner than lose you I 
would see my own life lost, for my life would be naught without you beside me. I shall gladly lead my 
warriors and the Princes of the Blood into battle against the strangers, yet must my mind be clear for the 
thing else shall few of us survive. For the sake of those who follow me, then, this matter must be settled 
to my satisfaction. Should you give me what part of your life you may, you will not regret it." 

So deeply did he gaze into my eyes, that nearly did I agree to that which he asked. His presence within 
me had once again grown to strength, a thing he was not unaware of, and perhaps, had he not attempted 
to steal my vow in the manner of another before him, I might well have heeded the madness he brought 
and agreed. And yet, though the effort was not the same it seemed the same, and I could not again face 
the consequences of a stolen vow. 

"The life of this warrior is not hers to keep or give away," said I at last, feeling much the coward yet able 
to do no other thing. "No other than Mida may speak on the doings of Jalav, therefore the male Mehrayn 
must release her, and together they will ride against the strangers as the gods have demanded. All is as 
the gods demand, Mehrayn, and we are neither of us able to alter that. Bitterness is useless, for we each 
of us have our duty." 

"Duty," he growled, the fury of frustrated anger filling his eyes. "is there no such thing as duty to oneself? 
Must all duty be to others? The word once meant much to me, and still does it mean much, yet in an 
entirely different manner." 

Still held by anger he withdrew from me, for he could not deny the words I spoke no matter that he 
would have had it otherwise. With his knees to either side of me his hands came to my waist, and then 
was I face down upon the pelt, my bound wrists where he might reach the leather upon them. I awaited 
the untying of the leather, yet his hand came instead to stroke my bottom. 

"Never, in all the kalod of my life, have I ever felt such desire for a woman," said he, the words a mutter 
meant for ears other than mine. "To show a man what might be his and then deny it him when he has 
grown to desire it above all else is the act of a fool, for men may not be so easily denied. The gods, I 
know, are far from fools, therefore shall I make a final attempt and address them directly. Sigurr, hear my 
words! Though I address them to the goddess Mida, I ask your aid as well! Lady, the wench here before 
me is Jalav, one of yours, therefore must I ask your leave for that which I seek. I would possess the 
wench as far as I might, yet does she refuse to hear me for she rides as your chosen. My possession of 
her will not take her from you, indeed it will aid you, for I will guard her life with my own, a thing which 
will allow her to continue in your service. Should it be your will that I be allowed her possession you must 
give her a sign, for the stubborn she-lenga will not heed the words spoken by a 'male.' She rides now to 
danger where her life might well be lost before she is able to oppose the coming strangers. Grant her to 
me, goddess, and I will spend my own life before allowing hers to be lost!" 

The words of the male rang in the dimness of the cavern air, an earnest plea spoken with sureness yet 


filled with desperation. I closed my eyes against the pain so clear in the voice of Mehrayn, a pain destined 
to grow larger and larger still. Jalav was not meant to be the possession of a male, and naught of the sign 
Mehrayn wished would be forthcoming. 

filled with desperation. I closed my eyes against the pain so clear in the voice of Mehrayn, a pain destined 
to grow larger and larger still. Jalav was not meant to be the possession of a male, and naught of the sign 
Mehrayn wished would be forthcoming. 

The joy which took Mehrayn brought a chill to me for no reason I could easily discern-till my eyes 
opened to see what he saw. I raised my head from the lenga pelt and there, beside the wall where our 
weapons lay, was a glow so pure and golden-bright that it might have been sent by no other than Mida. 
That the glow emanated from my life sign was undeniable, yet did sudden horror force me to attempt a 
denial. 

"Mida, no!" I cried, struggling even more strongly against the leather which bound me. "Do not give me to 
this male! I am your chosen, and his presence is unnecessary! He is no more than a male, as lacking in 
reason as are they all, as blind, and foolish and stubborn! Do not give me to another of his kind!" 

My prayer was truly heartfelt, for to have a male was most certainly not the equal of being given to one, 
yet for reasons beyond my understanding was Mehrayn heeded and I not. No sooner did my words 
cease than the glow did the same, rejecting my plea as Mehrayn's had not been. Mida had spoken, and I 
was again to be the possession of a male! 

"A fine, understanding goddess, your lady Mida," said Mehrayn from behind me, deep satisfaction and 
happiness alive in his voice. "To know which boon the proper one to grant is surely the mark of true 
wisdom." 

Wisdom! I lowered my face to the cloth of the lenga pelt, as deeply sunk in misery as Mehrayn was in 
happiness. At other times had I been given by Mida to males, once to breed hatred within me for those 
selfsame males. Thinking upon it I found I had come to believe that each time I was held in capture it was 
by Mida's intent, her purpose not always clear yet surely always served. What I was to be given this time 
I knew not, yet surely was punishment a possibility. Were it known to Mida that I desired Mehrayn, well 
might she have granted me to him so that his life would indeed be forfeit in exchange for mine. That I 
would not allow such a thing to occur should also have been known to her, and perhaps it was. Perhaps 
that very thing was the reason Mehrayn had been granted his request-Mehrayn of all males! It had been 
my deepest wish to have him return to his Sigurri where he might not be so easily seen by the gods, and 
now it would never come to be. Sooner would I have seen myself given again to Chaldrin! 

"So, my girl, your presence and use are now mine to direct as I will," said Mehrayn, the satisfaction still 
strongly with him, his hands going at last to the leather on my wrists. "It seems a man need only state his 
needs, and the gods will see to them." 

"It is scarcely the gods who have been set to tending your needs," said I in a mutter, bringing my arms 
before me as quickly as they were freed. My wrists ached and, to a lesser extent, my arms as well, and 
no thought seemed so pleasing as that of departing the cavern immediately. Even facing the storm without 
was preferable to being commanded to the service of a male. 

"You seem less than pleased that my request has been granted," said Mehrayn, moving my hair to my left 
shoulder so that he might touch my back and arm without impediment. "Do you envision the slavery you 
spoke of earlier, that you fail to share my joy?" 

"A warrior must be entirely free, else is she no other thing than slave in truth," said I, keeping my sight to 
the marks of the leather remaining upon my wrists. "The word given you was not mine, therefore may 


your joy be premature. I have ever been free to escape capture when I might." 

your joy be premature. I have ever been free to escape capture when I might." 

"You consider willful disobedience of the gods?" he demanded in a roar, bending somewhat toward me, 
his outrage most evident. "Accidental or necessary disobedience is not the same, for they will not 
overlook this as they have other disobediences of yours! Do you seek to be ended? Do you seek to be 
horribly punished?" 

"The male Mehrayn may defy the gods, and the war leader Jalav may not?" I asked, again made uneasily 
aware of how large the male was. He had put his hands to either side of me upon the pelt, and the thews 
stood out stonelike in his arms. 

"The male Mehrayn does not ride for the gods," said he, his words more growl than voice, the glitter in 
his eyes akin to the metal of a sword. "He does not pass his feyd ever taking their notice, nor needing 
their constant good will to assist in survival! He does not now ride toward the waiting hands of enemies, 
to make himself their leader whether they will it or no! There are those who await you to lead them into 
battle, others who await an end to captivity; what would become of them should your lady Mida take 
insult at your doings and turn from you?" 

The demanding question, once spoken, hung between us, unanswerable in the manner I most wished to 
reply in. My honor forbade that I abandon those who looked to me for leadership and freedom, and one 
may not turn one's back upon honor. 

"Indeed the male Mehrayn may and the war leader Jalav may not," said Mehrayn, his anger somewhat 
cooled by my silence. "Freedom is a true blessing from the gods, wench, yet are there those of us who 
have little of it, though no chain or binding touches us. We are bound by far stronger ties, those of the 
needs of the ones who follow us, and may not escape the capture of our service. Were we meant to 
effect such an escape, we would not have been bound so to begin with." 

I turned from the sober gaze of the male to lie upon my right side, my hair beneath my cheek and arm, 
continued silence the sole reply I was able to make. The truth he had spoken could not be denied, nor 
was it possible to regret the thing; I had sought the glory in being war leader to Midanna, and would not 
put away the honor even if such a thing were possible. Had I not become the chosen of the gods I would 
have regretted naught of my life, yet regret at the doings of the gods is idle. Far better to accept the 
burden and continue on, looking toward the fey the burden would be no more. 

"And so the war leader Jalav shall remain in the possession of the male Mehrayn," said Mehrayn, putting 
himself upon the lenga pelt behind me, the deep intensity gone from his voice, yet not so the hard 
determination. "She will obey his wishes and come to him at any time he desires her, and will no longer 
dwell upon the foolishness of escape and disobedience. Will she not?" 

The agreement sought by Mehrayn continued to be difficult for me, yet there was naught I might do save 
nod my head in capitulation. As abhorrent as the state was to a warrior, I had been commanded to allow 
my captivity. 

"Excellent," said Mehrayn with pleasure-filled satisfaction, his great hand coming to gently stroke my arm. 
"Your reluctance stems from the manner in which you are bound to me, I know, therefore do I discount 
such reluctance and overlook it. You felt constrained to deny me of your own self due to your sense of 
duty, and this I understand as well. Turn and look at me, wench." 


I turned from my side to my back with a sigh, then flinched when I saw the manner in which the male 
looked upon me. Unfaltering was that look, hard as the rock which stood all about us. 

I turned from my side to my back with a sigh, then flinched when I saw the manner in which the male 
looked upon me. Unfaltering was that look, hard as the rock which stood all about us. 

"Words of praise?" I echoed, finding naught in my memory of that which I had said to Mida concerning 
Mehrayn. "Of what description do you speak? In what manner might I have spoken of you, that I fail to 
recall it?" 

"Perhaps your failure to recall the doing is an attempt by your lady to protect you once again," said he, 
smoothing his hand across my belly below my breasts. "The attempt cannot be a command for me, 
however, for my memory of the episode is as clear as possible. 'You need not give me to this male, for 
his presence is unnecessary,' you said. 'He is no more than a male who is blind, foolish, stubborn and 
lacking in reason,' you said. Perhaps you should have added how little pride I possess, how rarely I take 
insult over that which is disparagingly said of me, and how well it pleases me to be humiliated before the 
gods." 

An odd manner of pleasantness had formed upon his visage, yet was it entirely negated by the manner in 
which he continued to look upon me. His eyes would not have seemed improperly placed had they been 
given to a lenga whose kill was being carried off by a paslat, and indeed did I abruptly feel the paslat 
before him, for the words I had spoken in desperation and dismay had returned to me. His hand upon me 
was soft and undemanding, yet did its presence and his nearness cause me to truly regret the loss of my 
weapons. 

"Mida is well acquainted with the true nature of males," said I at last, attempting to soothe his upset. 
"Naught was said that she was not already aware of, therefore Mehrayn need not be overly disturbed. 
Mida possesses males of her own. " 

"Naught was said that she was not already aware of," muttered Mehrayn, his eyes closing in a manner 
which seemed to indicate pain. "The goddess is already acquainted with-she possesses-Great Sigurr, give 
me the strength to keep my hands from curling about her throat and slowly closing! Give me the strength 
to keep from beating her as she has never before been beaten!" 

"Should Jalav's presence so disturb Mehrayn, she need not remain here," said I, disliking the manner in 
which he spoke to his god. "It was not she who asked the possession of a male." 

I began to rise to sit up on the pelt, more than pleased at the prospect of departing the cavern-and that 
right quickly-yet was Mehrayn not of a mind to see it so. His right fist came immediately to tangle in my 
hair, and then was I once again put flat upon the pelt. 

"You are correct, wench," said he, holding me still against all attempts at struggling, his green eyes holding 
mine once more. "It was I who asked the possession of a wench, and I who was granted that possession. 
I believe it is more than time for the wench to be taught of the man in whose possession she is, so that 
should she find it needful to speak of him again, she will not be in doubt concerning his true nature. Pay 
close heed to the lesson, girl, else shall it be repeated till it is remembered." 

The words of the male caused me to wish even more fervently for my weapons, yet was I mistaken in 
believing that he meant me true harm. No more was done to me than that which had ever been done by 
him, a thing which, in truth, brought many another word and phrase to mind concerning the true nature of 
him. When, at last, I was able to do no other thing than speak them, he beat me. 


CH 5. The difference between males-end a difference in capture 

CH 5. The difference between males-end a difference in capture 

When once the new light had come, I had departed the cave to discover that the others of our set had all 
found similar caves in which to shelter themselves. The Sigurri males had indeed been in the nearest cave 
as S'Heernoh had said, yet had he failed to note that Wedin and Dotil had shared the shelter. The two 
Summa seemed as well pleased with the darkness which had passed as did the males, yet did they greet 
S'Heernoh with a warmth and concern which seemed odd. Chaldrin and Ilvin also appeared from the 
mouth of a cave, the male as calm and placid as ever, the Hitta warrior silent and thoughtful. I spoke little 
past my wishes upon the point of departure, and soon took to the trail even before the others. 

Despite the glory of the fey, the despondency I felt caused me to ride alone, joying in naught about me. 
Deep resentment burned within me that Mida would give me to yet another male, this time bound only by 
her command. Jalav had had thoughts which were no credit to the goddess, and Jalav had not feared the 
loss of her magical life sign as deeply as was meant that she should, therefore was Jalav given to a male 
to serve, to teach her regret and a proper humility. Had there been none other upon whom punishment 
might fall I might well have refused the command, yet there were far too many others who might bear the 
wrath brought about by my defiance. Even were I to find it within myself to challenge the authority of the 
one who was mother to all Midanna, how might I do so when defeat would be visited upon others in 
addition to myself? I tangled my hand in the mane of my kan against the smouldering embers which 
burned so within me, attempting to swallow and quiet my anger. 

"-You have as yet said no word to me this fey, wench," came the voice of Mehrayn, his kan drawing 
close to mine as he rode up. "The sweet chirpings of the lellin in the treetops would be sweeter still were 
you to send me a smile and ask after my rest." 

The continuing satisfaction in the voice of the male was as a breath upon those smouldering embers within 
me, and truly did I find it necessary to make myself aware of the kan beneath me and the forest we rode 
through to keep the fire from leaping high. I tightened the hold of my legs upon the smooth sides of my 
mount, and we moved forward away from him who had been given possession of me. 

"So, again you sulk after having been given a well earned punishment," said Mehrayn, again urging his kan 
beside mine at the swifter pace I held to. "To speak in such a manner to one who holds you with greater 
strength is the act of a foolish child, an act which merits only punishment. Should you do such a thing 
again, you will be punished again." 

Memory of the beating Mehrayn had given me with the leather previously used to bind me did naught for 
my attempt to contain my anger. Deliberately I slowed my kan well behind his, allowing him to ride ahead 
alone. This second doing drove the satisfaction from him, nearly causing him to jerk upon his reins in 
order to return to my side. 

"One who cannot stand in challenge also may not offer insult," he pursued, annoyance now to be heard 
entangled in his words. "Am I so much less than you, that I must accept humiliation and shame 
unprotestingly, the while you do not? As we may not raise sword against one another, would it not be far 
more pleasant to forgo all insults and beatings and simply enjoy one another as we have in the past? I 
have pledged myself to your protection, and you have been pledged to my service; may we not merely 


take pleasure in the time we have, and leave thoughts of other things for when they may no longer be put 
away from us?" 

take pleasure in the time we have, and leave thoughts of other things for when they may no longer be put 
away from us?" 

By the time Mida's light reached its highest our set rode together again, silent till we came upon the small 
clearing. At sight of the clearing the males began a great clamor that we halt and take provender, and 
although Ilvin and the two Summa said naught, they too seemed in need of feeding. A number of lellin had 
been brought down by the two Sigurri who rode with Mehrayn, and although my warriors and I might 
well have fed upon the already featherless flesh as we rode, the males had need of a halt and a fire. To 
calm my impatience I recalled that our kand had need of rest as well, for they were not like the gandod 
warriors were able to ride from the beginning of a fey's new light until its end. I quieted the clamor by 
allowing the halt, and once we had dismounted and preparations for the meal had begun, I took myself to 
the far side of the clearing alone. The need to face all nine of the enemy clans together was a great 
vexation to me, for to meet and speak with a single war leader was not to face nine and a Keeper as 
well. It would be necessary to ride alone into their midst, a doing far simpler than remaining unattacked till 
the words I meant to speak were spoken. How was I to . . . 

"You seem preoccupied, wench," came the voice of Chaldrin. "The Sword seemed well enough pleased 
at first light, yet now seems somewhat out of sorts. For what reason do you continue to provoke him?" 

"I do not provoke him," I answered. "The male is as much a fool as the gods, and I do no more than 
refrain from giving any of them words." 

"Wench, do not speak so!" Chaldrin protested with upset, his great hand coming to close upon my 
shoulder. "You may speak as you will of men, yet the gods may not be given such insult! Do you wish to 
be punished by them?" 

"I am already punished by them," I replied in a mutter, moving forward away from his hand. "Mida has 
commanded me to give service to Mehrayn, and now he will never return to his own. The fool has 
pledged his life in protection of mine, thinking himself well repaid by my service. He has no knowledge of 
how the gods take repayment for that which they give, yet shall he learn of it to his sorrow. To think of 
naught save the pleasure of the present is the doing of a child, and much do I wish it were possible to 
take the leather to the child Mehrayn as he did to me." 

"So he found it necessary to again give you a hiding," said Chaldrin, the calm returned to his voice. "Were 
you rash enough to speak of the gods before him as you have before me, there was little else you might 
expect. And for what reason should he not pledge his life to defend yours? He would do so even had he 
not spoken the vow aloud, and having spoken it allows him his way with you. Had I been given the 
opportunity, I would have done the same." 


"Such is to be expected, for you are as much of a male as he," said I, turning my head to cast a dark look 
at Chaldrin. "I would know, however, if you are Midanna enough to teach me this battle without 
weapons you have spoken so often of. I am weary of being prey to one with greater strength than I, one 
who beats me at any time desire comes to him. I am a war leader of Midanna, and will not be treated 
so." 

"Such is to be expected, for you are as much of a male as he," said I, turning my head to cast a dark look 
at Chaldrin. "I would know, however, if you are Midanna enough to teach me this battle without 
weapons you have spoken so often of. I am weary of being prey to one with greater strength than I, one 
who beats me at any time desire comes to him. I am a war leader of Midanna, and will not be treated 
so." 

"I shall dream of the fey," said I, moving forward to put a hand to the broadness of Chaldrin's shoulder. 
"Upon that fey I shall take a length of leather to Mehrayn, and then shall he learn of the indignity he so 
easily gives others." 

"And after the hiding, will you then use me?" came the voice of Mehrayn, filled with amusement. The male 
came from the trees we stood near, and halted beside Chaldrin with the amusement clear in his eyes. 
"Had I striped her back rather than warmed her bottom, she would have long since forgiven me," said he 
to Chaldrin with a chuckle, reaching out to take my hand from the darker male's shoulder. "You may 
attempt to teach her what she would know, brother, yet must she be disallowed the liberties she 
continues to take with you. As you will not again have her use, you will find the doing uncomfortable in 
the extreme should it continue, a thing the wench is innocently unaware of. It takes a man, I think, to 
appreciate the point." 

"Indeed," agreed Chaldrin with matching amusement in his own eyes, naught to be seen of anger nor 
insult. "A man may appreciate her as a woman may not. You believe she will not acquire great enough 
skill to do you harm?" 

"Should she grow to my size, my concern will grow as well," said Mehrayn, his amusement continuing. 
"As you observed, I am not entirely unskilled, and perhaps not so unskilled as to fare badly against one 
who is of a size with me. Would you care to share a bit of sport with one who lacks your exalted 
standing?" 

The pleasantness had not left Mehrayn's face nor voice, yet was it clear that he gave challenge to 
Chaldrin in an area where the other male did not consider the bout lost before it had even begun. 
Vexation rose high in me that I would be unable to stand for Chaldrin in such a meeting even if Mehrayn 
did not withdraw the challenge, for these males were far too large for a warrior to best with empty hands. 
A faint smile came to Chaldrin, and deliberately did he fold his leather-clad wrists beneath his massive 
arms. 

"The Sword must forgive me," he drawled, "yet am I not far enough healed to accept so kind an offer. 
Should my apologies for having used the wench be insufficient to heal the insult, I will not refuse a meeting 
with blades. A man does, after all, have his rights." 

"And you would not deny me those rights, even though you would pay with your life," observed 
Mehrayn, meeting Chaldrin's eyes with a slow nod of understanding. "Nor will you face me in a meeting 
where you know yourself to be superior, for you feel you have not the right. The wench is correct in 
relying upon your honor, brother, for it is clear it will never fail her. It is my fondest hope, however, that 
another thing will fail her, and that from this fey forward. It would give me great pain to take the life of so 
honorable a man." 

"And Sigurr will surely not forgive me should I bring pain to his Sword," said Chaldrin, chuckling. "What 
choice have I, save to say that her service was given by the gods to one other than myself? I will face any 


man who seeks to face me, yet am I not so foolish as to pit myself against the gods. I will not again allow 
the wench to lure me, and for this you have my word." 

man who seeks to face me, yet am I not so foolish as to pit myself against the gods. I will not again allow 
the wench to lure me, and for this you have my word." 

Chaldrin nodded with a continued chuckling as Mehrayn took my arm and pulled me with him, retracing 
his outward steps from the trees. I had no desire to accompany the male, yet was there little I might do 
against his strength-as yet. Branches and leaves beat at me as Mehrayn hurried me through the forest 
away from the clearing, and when a sufficient distance had been achieved, he halted and thrust me within 
a ring of closely set bushes. The grass was soft and thick and cool beneath my feet there, and thin golden 
ribbons of Mida's light played down through the treetops. 

"I have had enough of your thick, censuring silence, wench," said Mehrayn, turning me so that I might 
look up at him. "You have been directed to serve me and obey me, and I have no wish to be served by a 
woman who will not speak to me. I have allowed you to sulk for a time, and now I command that you 
speak." 

"I obeyed Mehrayn's command by remaining silent," I replied with a shrug, allowing my gaze to rise no 
higher than the wide chest before me. "As no other insults are to be given him, I have naught further to 
say." 

Had his hand not remained upon my arm I would have turned away and left him there, for the impatience 
I had felt all of that fey continued to plague me. The male, however, was not of a mind to see me free. 
His hand closed somewhat more tightly about my arm, and his free hand came to raise my face so that I 
must look up into his eyes. 

"I do believe I spoke truly when I said you would have already forgiven me had I striped your back 
rather than warmed your bottom," said he with a narrowing of the green which looked down upon me. 
"Once we discussed the punishment given a warrior as opposed to that given a girl, and it would have 
been clear even without your agreement that you far preferred the greater pain of being done as a 
warrior. Never will you have a warrior's punishment from me, wench, though in truth you are no other 
thing, however the punishment of a girl is another matter entirely. Will you give over your insolence, or 
must I continue as I have already done?" 

I met the steadiness of his gaze in silence, attempting to show naught of the turmoil within me. The male 
was more than capable of giving me humiliation again and there was naught I might do to halt his 
intentions. His hand against my face was gentle despite the strength in it, and he waited no more than a 
moment for the answer I was not able to give. 

"The turbulence in your dark, lovely eyes grows greater," said he with a sigh, as though he truly believed 
the thought of humiliation would cow me. "I know not what might be done with you, wench, yet do I 
mean to know before this journey is done. For now I will merely have service from you, therefore are 
you to remove those weapons and that breech." 

With the command spoken his hands left me, giving me the opportunity to obey him. A long moment 
passed in hesitation before my hands were able to begin the movement toward my swordbelt, and truly 
did I believe that had Mida then appeared before me, I would have put many, many lives in jeopardy. To 
be set to the service of a male sat ill with me, putting the sort of humor upon me which must be washed 
away with blood. 


Removing swordbelt and breech and dagger was unfortunately no more than the work of a moment, and 
then I merely stood within the ring of bushes, having obeyed the command I had been given. Mehrayn, 
with swordbelt and black covering already put aside, sat himself upon the grass, then lay back to look up 
at me. 

Removing swordbelt and breech and dagger was unfortunately no more than the work of a moment, and 
then I merely stood within the ring of bushes, having obeyed the command I had been given. Mehrayn, 
with swordbelt and black covering already put aside, sat himself upon the grass, then lay back to look up 
at me. 

He lay at his ease upon the thick, green grass, his tan, well made body clearly awaiting me, though he 
was as clearly not yet prepared for my use. I went to my knees beside him, taking care not to so much as 
brush his flesh, and a faint smile curved his lips. 

"Should you intend seeing me regret having asked for your service, you will find disappointment," said he, 
making no attempt to touch me. "Willingness does indeed make your use the sweeter, yet far better 
unwilling use than no use of you at all. I am helpless before the madness which possesses me, girl, a 
madness which I find myself unable to recover from. Bring your lips to mine, and press them to me as 
though you truly desired my use." 

I leaned over him with great care, still attempting to keep my flesh from his, yet my breasts touched the 
warmth of his chest even before our lips met. So strong and warm were those lips, demanding even in 
acceptance, setting my mind to whirling even as I strove to cling to thoughts of anger against Mida and 
fury for having been given the punishment of a girl. It was Mehrayn whose lips touched mine, Mehrayn 
whose flesh burned my flesh, Mehrayn whose wide shoulders were suddenly beneath my hands. Never 
would I be allowed to possess him, never would he be allowed to survive after having brought himself to 
the notice of Mida, yet was I as helpless as he against the madness which held us both. I had attempted 
to deny him and send him from me so his life would not be forfeit, yet had he refused to allow the thing 
which would have meant his safety. He had demanded my service from Mida and had been granted his 
demand, and though my confusion and lack of understanding was great, I did not truly begrudge him the 
boon. His arms circled me and pulled me close as my hands went to his face, bringing to me the 
knowledge that my service would forever be his. 

"Jalav, my Jalav," he crooned, rolling me to the grass so that he might lean over me and press his lips to 
my face all about. "You are truly mine, are you not, wench? Despite your anger with me and your 
attempts to ride from me, and your never-ending denial-you are now and always shall be mine!" 

I am Mida's, I whispered in my heart, unable to voice the words through the fierce possession of my lips. 
My vow to the goddess is unbreakable, and I shall ride in her service to the end of my time. I cannot 
deny you, my red-haired Sigurri male, for you will not allow it, and yet shall Mida deny you as she denied 
Ceralt, demanding that I turn from you as I turned from him. How strong and warm you are beneath my 
hands, Mehrayn, as warm and strong as Ceralt, and also in such a way did he part my legs with his knee 
and prepare to enter me. The feel of your manhood against my desire maddens me, and although I 
whimper and moan and struggle in your arms you enter me slowly, making me know the strength of he 
who is Sigurr's Sword. Ceralt's thrust was not so slow, his throbbing need pierced me quickly, and yet 
the feel of you within is the same, the breathless, sobbing, demanding, pleading desire put on me no 
matter my frantic wish to deny such feelings. Ah, Mida, how well the male uses me, the pleasure so great 
that I would weep unashamedly like the lowliest of slave women! Do you mean to take them both to 
serve you, to give you the pleasure only I now know? Am I to be denied them so that they might not 
interfere with the tasks I have been given-or in punishment at my having dared consider them without 
your let? Is it possible to retrieve one's life-vow in challenge? Is it possible to challenge the gods? My 
thoughts fade to naught as the male touches my soul, and yet-is my sword skill truly less than yours? 


To count the time passing in pleasure is not possible, for kalod are lived during reckid and hind, the time 
unending and yet ending too soon. When the need had passed from us I lay in Mehrayn's arms, my face 
to his great chest, his hands spread across my back, beneath my hair. The thoughts I had had at the 
beginning of his use remained with me, returning the dark mood which had held me and the impatience as 
well. There were so great a number of matters to be thought upon that my head rang with the clatter of 
them all. 

To count the time passing in pleasure is not possible, for kalod are lived during reckid and hind, the time 
unending and yet ending too soon. When the need had passed from us I lay in Mehrayn's arms, my face 
to his great chest, his hands spread across my back, beneath my hair. The thoughts I had had at the 
beginning of his use remained with me, returning the dark mood which had held me and the impatience as 
well. There were so great a number of matters to be thought upon that my head rang with the clatter of 
them all. 

Gently did his arms tighten about me as he chuckled, clearly an attempt to reassure me that he made no 
sport of me, yet it would have mattered not even had he seriously sought to torment me. It would truly 
have been idle to attempt to deny my desire for him, not when touching him meant I must have him. 

"You are a great fool, Mehrayn, greater even than other males," I said, holding him as tightly as he held 
me, breathing in the musky male smell of him. "You must return to your Sigurri immediately, and remain 
with them till we meet again before the gates of Bellinard." 

"You would ask a man to break a vow to the gods?" said he, the amusement still with him as he toyed 
with my hair. "Had I not made the vow to guard your life with my own I would surely have ridden off and 
left you, yet now am I forced to remain here and submit over and over again to your service. The time 
will be greatly trying for me, and wearying as well, yet honor demands that I accept my suffering in 
silence." 

"It amuses you to act the fool," said I in accusation, raising my head to look darkly upon him. "It is to be 
hoped that it will amuse you as well to be closed in Mida's chains and set to her service." 

"You believe the goddess wishes me for her own?" he asked, mockery joining the amusement in his eyes. 
"Your opinion of my prowess is flattering, wench, yet would I prefer that you seek to keep me instead 
from other wenches like yourself. You would not face your Mida for me, I know, and I currently feel a 
great need to be jealously guarded." 

"There is more to be feared from a goddess than from her warriors," I made answer to his foolishness, 
along with a sound of disdain. "Ceralt was denied me and so shall you be, yet I am now certain that 
unlike him, you are meant to be taken to serve. His fate would simply have been death, yet now do you 
both stand in jeopardy far greater than the endless dark. Should you return to your males, there is some 
faint possibility that the fate may be avoided." 

"You do not jest," said he, losing all amusement as he looked closely upon me. "You truly believe the 
goddess wishes me for her own. Are you not able to see the outrageousness of such a suggestion, girl? I 
am no more than a man, naught to breed desire within a goddess! For what conceivable reason would 
she wish my service?" 

"For the reason that I desire you," I replied, seeking to banish the heavy doubt he showed with firm 
assurance. "Ceralt denied Mida's existence, therefore was his own existence denied. You, however, have 
not only acknowledged her existence, you have asked for and been granted a boon. Such a doing is 
never without a price, and the price already offered by you is insufficient. Think you Mida has need of 
your swordarm to aid me, when none have yet been able to best me? And what of the time before our 
meeting? Who was it who stood before me then? No, male, Prince of Sigurr's Sword Mehrayn, the 
goddess has no need of your swordarm. She desires my humiliation in punishment the while I am pledged 
to serve you, and then she will take you for her own and have your other sword instead. Perhaps she 


feels I will hunger for your blood as once I led her to believe I hungered for Ceralt's, and for that reason 
will take you from me, both of you. It is denial she wishes for me, and denial she will have. You must 
return to your Sigurri, for even your god cannot aid you now." 

feels I will hunger for your blood as once I led her to believe I hungered for Ceralt's, and for that reason 
will take you from me, both of you. It is denial she wishes for me, and denial she will have. You must 
return to your Sigurri, for even your god cannot aid you now." 

"Your god would have continued his protection of you had you remained in his domain," I informed the 
male with all the scathing condemnation which then filled me, pushing from his unresisting arms to sit upon 
the thick, cool grass. "So clever was the male Mehrayn, however, and so intent upon his desire to plunge 
as deeply and as often as possible within a Midanna war leader, that he asked a boon of the goddess 
Mida, thereby taking himself from the domain of his god into the domain of another. Another who will see 
that he begs to plunge deep for all eternity." 

"I begin to see more fully the qualities of a war leader," he muttered, as subdued before my anger as 
would have been a newly blooded warrior, a glance no more of his gaze than he was able to give me. "I 
have not had a dressing down such as that since the feyd of my training as a young warrior. You say you 
have seen the men chosen to serve the goddess?" 

"Aye," said I with a grim nod of acknowledgment, recalling those males whose souls were no longer their 
own. "It was during my time with Mida and Sigurr in their domain upon this world. Those who were 
commanded to serve me were naught save empty husks, well made and desirable without, trembling and 
fearful within. No males were they but slaves, held by that which was far worse than chains. And he who 
was taken to serve Mida herself was given the sthuvad drug, an aid Mida has no true need of, yet did it 
amuse her to do him so. She took me to where he lay chained to a couch of stone in a large, bright, 
otherwise empty cavern, the drug having been given him many hind earlier. The agony of forced lust 
strained his flesh so greatly that he screamed with the belief that it would soon part, yet was he denied the 
use of any save Mida, and she not then of a mind to indulge in that use. Insanity attempted to take him at 
sight of two whose use he had so great a need of, his struggles increasing the flow of blood from rawly 
savaged wrists and ankles where the chains held him, yet neither insanity nor death were allowed him. No 
release, no freedom, not even escape to the final darkness. Is that what you wish for yourself, 
Mehrayn?" 

Silence hung between us as the male stared upon me, an unnamable expression strong in his eyes. A faint 
breath of cool whispered about the bushes we sat among, yet was the pleasure of it without strength 
enough to banish the heaviness left by my words. A long moment passed with the silence, and then did 
Mehrayn stiffen somewhat where he sat. 

"When first we met, you spoke of your soul having been slain by the god I serve," said he, unbelievably 
making no mention of that which he had been told. "Much did I believe that you spoke so through lack of 
true knowledge of the use of men, yet have I since learned differently. You are fully aware of the strength 
men may bring to a wench, therefore do your previous words take on new meaning. Tell me of the use 
you had from my god." 

Memory of the use I had had from Sigurr remained as strong within me as though the doing were only 
just past, and briefly did I feel again the terror and agony and soul illness of the time. A shudder touched 
me, as it ever did when I thought upon the thing, and then was the feeling pushed aside by matters of 
greater moment. 

"Mehrayn, we do not now discuss Sigurr," said I, a bit impatiently. "It is Mida we must consider, for it is 


she . . . . " 

she . . . . " 

Ardently were those answers demanded of me, answers the male believed he truly craved. He served 
Sigurr as I served Mida, yet what choice had we in that service? 

"It would not be possible to speak of the time to one who was not then present," I replied, taking no note 
of the way his hand tightened upon my arm, the way the cold deepened in his eyes. "The use of Sigurr 
was-not as the use of his Sigurri, for he is a god and they are not. Just as Mida is a goddess. Will you 
continue to court disaster, or will you display the reason other males lack?" 

"Woman, I dislike the manner in which you avoid my queries," growled Mehrayn, a great dissatisfaction 
upon him. His hand left my arm yet his gaze remained upon me, little warming to be seen therein. "It 
seems most clear that there is much you must yet be made to speak of, yet shall I refrain from pressing 
the point-for the moment. There will be another time when the words flow more freely, and at that time I 
shall listen." 

His hand came gently to my face in a brief caress, and then he rose to his feet, looking about himself for 
his body cloth. I, too, arose from the grass and retrieved my breech, feeling a deep satisfaction that 
Mehrayn would return to his males, a thing I knew from his having spoken of another time. The doing 
would surely be best for him, for it would take him from the immediate notice of Mida, perhaps to be 
forgotten altogether amid the arrival of the strangers and the battle to follow. I replaced the 
life-sign-wound dagger in my leg bands and lifted my swordbelt, then turned again to Mehrayn. 

"Best would be if you and the others depart as quickly as you have fed," said I, aware of the scent of 
roast lellin upon the faint, sweetly pleasant breeze. "We shall meet again before the walls of Bellinard, and 
then, perhaps, shall find it possible to discuss now the battle shall be fought., Without knowledge of the 
enemy, it will be difficult to . . . . 

"Hold, wench, hold," interrupted the male, one hand raised. "Where do you think I ride, that you send me 
forth in so commanding a manner? I have voiced no intentions of departing. " 

"You continue to refuse?" I demanded in disbelief, the usual confusion I found when conversing with 
males returning to swirl about me. "When it would be mindless to remain? When you would not then be 
able to take yourself from the notice of Mida? When you spoke of another time?" 

"When I continue to have a wench who must serve me?" he returned with a laugh, the amusement fully 
upon him. "The other time I spoke of will appear in due course, and I must be present when it does. Do 
you mean to don your swordbelt, or cart it in one hand?" 

My eyes lowered to the weapon he gestured toward, its presence having entirely escaped me amid the 
vast annoyance of his continued insistences. With short, angry motions I wrapped it about myself and 
secured it, then looked again upon the fool of a male. 

"You will surely be present when many things occur," said I with disgust, my hands resting upon the 
newly replaced swordbelt. "Do not fail to give my greetings to Mida when her chains close about you, 
and the sthuvad drug begins to flow down your throat. It will be then that you will truly regret not having 
taken yourself from her sight, yet will the time for so reasonable a doing be long behind you." 


I began to turn from him then, to leave that place and return to the others, however a large hand came to 
my arm to halt me. 

I began to turn from him then, to leave that place and return to the others, however a large hand came to 
my arm to halt me. 

The strength in the green of his gaze was clear as he looked down upon me, an annoyance nearly as thick 
as my own accompanying it. The male was a fool and I have little patience with fools, therefore did I 
attempt to pull my arm from his grip in order to depart. Rather than release me he abruptly pulled me 
close, locking his arms about me to keep me before him. 

"It disturbs you most, I know, that I refuse to do as you think best," said he, his voice now soft with 
understanding. "You would see me safely away and secure from peril, yet, wench-are you unable to see 
that I wish the same for you? I have no doubt that should I require the presence of your sword and the 
skill of your swordarm, they would be there to aid me; am I not to be allowed to do the same for you? 
Think you I would find life full and satisfying elsewhere, knowing you rode to danger and I too far from 
there to give what aid I might? Life would be bereft of all save duty were you lost to me; far sooner 
would I spend that life in your defense than keep it and be forced to live it. And perhaps we two might 
use our skill to see to the safety of one another, in a situation where either of us alone would fall. Will you 
send me from you to ride alone, and therefore fail to be there when I have need of you? Will you let me 
fall, never again to rise, merely by cause of your annoyance over having to serve me?" 

The strength of his arms continued to hold me to the warm, firm flesh of him, else would I have surely fled 
with my hands clapped to my ears, to keep all further words of his from reaching me. My agitation was 
so great that I pushed hard against the chest of the male, freeing myself from his suddenly loosening hold, 
and then sped away from him. Once again I knew not what to do, and my head buzzed and whirled with 
the confusion thought brought. 

The others were already partaking of the lellin when I reached the clearing, and although I had no true 
wish for provender it was far easier accepting that which was given me than refusing it and thereby 
beginning a many-sided discussion. I took myself and the lellin to the far side of the fire and sat, beside 
none of those who rode with me, disturbed by none of them. Wedin and Dotil and Ilvin and Chaldrin all 
looked upon me with concern in their silence, and so, too, did the male S'Heernoh. Only the two Sigurri 
took especial note of the appearance of Mehrayn, they having prepared and kept his provender for him. 
His low words of thanks preceded his seating himself by them, and then he hungrily began upon the flesh 
he had been given. 

My eyes went to the lellin I, myself, held, the churning in my middle speaking of a need too long held in 
abeyance, yet did I not begin upon it. 

"That lellin is meant to be eaten, not merely torn apart," said Chaldrin, his appearance and Ilvin's before 
me startling me. Dotil and Wedin accompanied the male and the Hitta, and all four crouched down to 
give me the sobriety of their gazes. 

"Are you ill, war leader?" asked Ilvin, deep concern in the pale blue of her eyes, her hand raising 
somewhat before halting, as though she had meant to put it to my shoulder before thinking better of the 


doing. "Has the male harmed you in some manner?" 

doing. "Has the male harmed you in some manner?" 

"My life sign glowed with Mida's own golden light," I made answer, looking down at the lellin I had 
twisted and torn between my hands. "Who other than a god might have caused it to glow in such a 
manner? Should the male have contrived the doing, he, too, must be a god, and therefore would all 
discussion upon the point remain idle. I am his to command and use, save that he may not interfere with 
my tasks on behalf of the goddess." My eyes then went to Chaldrin, where he crouched as did the 
others. "Have you no other welcome tidings, brother, which it would please you to share with all the 
world?" I asked, at last taking a mouthful of the redly running provender I held. "Do not hesitate to 
speak, for all eagerly await your words." 

"These wenches follow you as I do, girl," he rumbled, naught of diffidence breaking into his usual calm. 
"They asked after what disturbed you, therefore did I inform them as to what was imparted to me. I was 
not, you may recall, asked to keep silent upon the matter. Surely you would have soon informed them 
yourself." 

"A warrior's shame is not so easily discussed," I muttered about a mouthful, still upset, then did I turn my 
eyes to the others. "As Mida is so clearly displeased with me, it is in my mind that best would be for us to 
take separate trails. I would not bring her wrath down upon you as well, for no other reason than that 
you accompany me." 

"You ask us to abandon you?" declared Dotil, outrage clear in the light of her eyes, her body stiffening as 
did Wedin's. "Surely such abandonment would be of greater distaste to the goddess than our remaining, 
and surely would we then also be punished! No, war leader of the Hosta, we will not do as you 
suggest!" 

"Nor may I," said Ilvin, she sharing the agreement shown Wedin. "I have given my vow upon a certain 
matter, and must therefore remain beside the one who holds that vow. Against the time I will be released, 
you understand." 

Her amusement was clear, this warrior who had so disliked the need to follow and serve a male, she who 
now crouched companionably close to Chaldrin and no longer scowled upon him. I saw the difference in 
Ilvin which I had earlier failed to note, and her amusement turned wry at the questioning gaze I sent to 
her. 

"Clearly I must now admit that your punishment is no longer a punishment," said she, something of a sigh 
taking her. "I have not yet learned the lesson you wished to teach, war leader, yet have I learned one 
which was unanticipated by both of us." 

Her crouch became a cross-legged, seated position, and when the others had done as she, she again sent 
a faint smile toward me. 

"It had not occurred to me that there might be differences among males," said she, shaking her head to 
send her pale hair back from about her arms. "The sthuvad which our clan used, the males we fought in 
the city called Bellinard, those who held me captive-all were of the same sort, fit for naught save us or 
death, no more to be noticed than Mida's ground beneath a warrior's feet. Deep outrage took me that I 
was required to serve one of that ilk, and I sought to force the male to the challenge so that I might rid 
myself of him. When he refused to issue a challenge I grew even more enraged, and began thinking of 
naught save the fey I would be able to issue challenge of my own." 


Again her smile grew wry, and her hand rose to stroke her life sign where it hung between her breasts. 

Again her smile grew wry, and her hand rose to stroke her life sign where it hung between her breasts. 

Ilvin's words ceased in a somewhat shame-faced manner, yet was it Chaldrin I looked sourly upon as I 
chewed and swallowed the lellin. The male was clearly taken by amusement, and when I looked upon 
him, he chuckled. 

"The wench has most obviously taken a liking to my use," said he, his dark eyes making no effort to avoid 
mine. "Will you have me beat her for showing such excellent taste?" 

Both the Summa and Ilvin laughed aloud at Chaldrin's sally, knowing the male intended no such thing, and 
Wedin shook her dark-haired head. 

"You may not lay the blame for the thing at the feet of the male, Jalav," said she, looking fondly upon him 
whom I called brother. "He is, as spoken of by both you and the Hitta, without the cruelty of other males. 
He may, in honor, do no more than he has already done. Has your purpose been served?" 

"No, Wedin, my purpose has not been served," I replied with weariness, throwing the lellin bones from 
me and then wiping the blood and grease from my fingers with two handfuls of grass. "Or perhaps it has 
been served, and I merely unaware of the accomplishment. Had Ilvin followed me elsewhere than to the 
Sigurri, her word would now be held by another, never to be returned to her; yet-is she a warrior and 
free, free to ride where she wills, free to spend her life in any manner she sees fit. I am no longer able to 
see the truth as clearly as once I did, therefore shall I no longer insist upon possibly pointless 
punishments. Ilvin, your word is now returned to you; you may ride and do at the direction of no one 
save yourself." 

I put my hand to the Hitta's shoulder to show I felt no anger toward her, yet was I unable to meet her 
eyes. My efforts to show her without agony that which I had learned amid great pain had failed, and 
should her life and freedom be subsequently lost, the blame for the thing would be mine alone. I rose 
quickly to my feet and went directly to my kan, mounted in a single leap after freeing my reins, then rode 
from the clearing. My attempt to save Ilvin had failed, much as many of my other recent attempts, and no 
longer was I sure of the rightness of my path. Unaccustomed indecision twisted me about within, and 
much did I silently revile myself for having avoided the teeth and claws of the lenga. 

The others once again rode in my near wake when darkness approached, therefore did I call a halt 
before a clamor might again arise. The forest had withdrawn from a wide, lovely meadow, and I drew 
rein beside a small yet swiftly running stream, dismounted, then stretched into the fey's lowering light. The 
heat continued sultry all about and heavy upon one's shoulders, and I bent to the stream to drink as my 
kan did, bringing the wetness to cool my insides until I might slip into the waters and see to my outward 
flesh. Silence had returned to those four who followed me, yet had there been many words from Summa, 
Hitta and male before that return. Each had attempted to question me as to that which whirled about in 


my head, yet how was I to speak of those things which could not even be thought upon? Polite refusal at 
last saw to the Summa, firmer refusal and an assurance of lack of anger took Ilvin from my shadow, yet 
was there naught which moved Chaldrin from his insistences till I called down Mida's wrath upon his 
head and rode from him at high speed. His kan, more heavily burdened than mine, found itself unable to 
match the pace I set, therefore was the male forced to fall back. When I had ridden from Chaldrin for the 
third time he gave up his attempts, and took up a position beside Mehrayn. The two had ridden together 
from then on, a thing which had happily kept them both from bedeviling me. 

my head, yet how was I to speak of those things which could not even be thought upon? Polite refusal at 
last saw to the Summa, firmer refusal and an assurance of lack of anger took Ilvin from my shadow, yet 
was there naught which moved Chaldrin from his insistences till I called down Mida's wrath upon his 
head and rode from him at high speed. His kan, more heavily burdened than mine, found itself unable to 
match the pace I set, therefore was the male forced to fall back. When I had ridden from Chaldrin for the 
third time he gave up his attempts, and took up a position beside Mehrayn. The two had ridden together 
from then on, a thing which had happily kept them both from bedeviling me. 

Much did it cause me great upset to be so enclosed by events and the doings of others that I felt borne 
along by those events, my own actions forced upon me and none of my choosing. The stream current 
tugged strongly at me, swirling my wet hair about and attempting to carry it away, seemingly whispering 
that best would be if I were to leave all those who laughed and splashed and cavorted upstream from 
where I stood, and continue on alone. Much did I wish to do so, so much so that the need was a 
struggling, demanding heaviness within me, yet without the Summa I rode I knew not where; were two to 
accompany me the other six were naught, for it was complete solitude I craved, not some partial shadow 
of it. I turned from the bank in the deep red of fey's end, and began to stroke toward the far side of the 
stream. 

The stream was not much widened from where it left the forest a short distance away, and no more than 
a few reckid saw me at its other bank. I pulled myself up and sat with feet adangle in the water, 
squeezing the wetness from my hair as I moved about upon the grass, seeking to halt its attempts to cling 
to my bottom. The lowering light showed me the others at the opposite side of the stream, Ilvin, Wedin 
and Dotil showering great splashes of water upon Chaldrin and the two Sigurri warriors, the males 
retaliating in kind, all laughing well at the foolishness, even Mehrayn, who merely stood in the stream and 
observed the others. I did not begrudge them their laughter and joy, yet was I far from a state where I 
might join them in their play with a fullness of heart. The lack increased the annoyance I felt, over the 
length of the journey before me, over the need to do as I had no wish to do, over the indecision 
concerning Mehrayn's presence or absence, over the need to face all enemy Midanna at once, over the 
strangers who would come. I threw the heavy, twisted coil of my hair behind me, rose to my feet upon 
the stream bank, then walked toward the blood-red remnants of Mida's dying light, afloat in the thoughts 
I could not rid myself of. I walked from the stream bank, again attempting to find the words which would 
need to be spoken to the enemy clans of Midanna, and they came at me from behind the clouds of 
sightlessness and lack of hearing in which I was enmeshed. The first I knew of their presence was hands 
on my arms and a fist in my hair, tightening quickly and cruelly, and causing my lips to part in a gasp of 
surprise and pain. Just so quickly as my lips parted was a wad of cloth thrust between them, a thin length 
of leather immediately tied about to hold the thing within, the strength of male hands holding me where I 
struggled. Three males there were, the gray of their body cloths difficult to see in the waning light, and 
with the strip of leather tied I was hurriedly taken by them into the forests, from which they had obviously 
emerged. 


Once among the trees and no longer in danger of observation by their enemies, the gray-clad males 
ceased their hurry and came to a halt. Two of them continued to hold to my arms as all three looked 
upon me, and the shadows were not so thick that their great pleasure was difficult to see. I struggled in 
their grasp, attempting to pull free, and he before me laughed softly. 

Once among the trees and no longer in danger of observation by their enemies, the gray-clad males 
ceased their hurry and came to a halt. Two of them continued to hold to my arms as all three looked 
upon me, and the shadows were not so thick that their great pleasure was difficult to see. I struggled in 
their grasp, attempting to pull free, and he before me laughed softly. 

"I give thanks that we observed their arrival rather than they observing ours," said a second, he who held 
to my left aria. "This one would not then have come running to us. What of the other wenches still at their 
camp?" 

"Those who ride with us will surely return for them," said the first, bringing his free hand to the place 
between my thighs. Again I struggled, attempting to avoid his touch, yet the other two each put a knee 
behind my thighs, forcing me to endure the outrage rather than escape it. The male stroked and toyed till 
the heat began to rise within me despite my fury, and then he laughed. "Should the others be as hot as this 
one," said he, "their capture will be well worth the small effort of slaying the men who now hold them. We 
are, after all, twelve to their four, the slavey who toils for them unarmed and therefore of little concern. 
The others should not need our assistance, yet shall they have it, should they be willing to wait till we have 
thoroughly used our little bird here." 

"I shall use her last," said the second, he who held to my left arm, his tongue moistening his lips as he 
looked upon the manner in which I was forced to move by the hand at my thighs. "She squirms about 
now with the need you put upon her, and I care little for eager acceptance by the wench beneath me. I 
will have her fear and pain instead, which will bring her more quickly to know me her master." 

"She will know me her master when I choose to ease her," replied the first, joining the laughter of the 
third, purposefully continuing with his efforts to heat me. "She will be taught to beg her use, and prettily, 
else shall I keep her in need the whole fey through, squirming and weeping and unable to halt the flames 
within her. She will learn to crawl to me and kiss my feet, and please me well before her own need is 
seen to." 

"And she is large, and will likely afford us longer use than the last wench we shared," put in the third with 
high-pitched laughter, speaking for the first time, spittle running from the corner of his mouth. "She will 
serve us all, and well, else shall I open her throat with my blade and drink her lifeblood!" 

The edge of the male's dagger was at my throat then, his laughter shared by the other two, and surely 
would I have snarled in rage had the cloth wad not been thrust in my mouth. Was a warrior of Mida, a 
war leader of Midanna, to tremble in fear at the touch of a dagger at her throat, to obey the demands of 
males to halt the spilling of her lifeblood'? Should the males end me I would then have the solitude I 
craved, a state they knew not how deeply was desired by me. Perhaps I would have laughed had the 
cloth not been there, for the males knew naught of what thoughts touched me, and would therefore, at 
some time, see me free so that I might serve them. They each of them wore swords, and should a hilt 
come to my hand, my life would be sold dearly indeed. 

"We must take her in proper style to our camp," said the male before me, his toying continuing without 
halt. "She now squirms even with the blade threatening her, and would surely beg had she not been 
silenced. Bind her wrists, Cludain, the while Clomain ties a lead upon her." 

"For what reason must it ever be Cludain and I who bind the wenches?" said he who held the dagger, he 


who now withdrew it with great reluctance and petulance. "For what reason may we not give her our 
attention as you now give her yours, Mondolain?" 

who now withdrew it with great reluctance and petulance. "For what reason may we not give her our 
attention as you now give her yours, Mondolain?" 

"An amusement!" exclaimed this Clomain, he who stood to my right, immediately brightening. "Ever have 
I been fond of your amusements, Mondolain! I will certainly assist you. " 

"Excellent," murmured he before me, a faint smile upon his lips as he gazed upon me. He took no note of 
the manner in which he to my left drew my arms behind me and tightly knotted leather about my wrists, 
nor the manner in which the third did the same with a length of leather about my throat. The leather had 
been held in the swordbelts of these males, and much did it seem that that leather had seen a deal of 
similar use. He before me continued to increase my need, and much amusement did he find in my inability 
to keep from burning as he wished. When the leather was tightly upon me he at last ceased his 
ministrations, then took the leather lead from the male Clomain. 

"See the lovely kan filly we have captured, my friends," said Mondolain, reaching to stroke my hair with a 
laugh. "Let us lead her before the others so that they, too, may admire her before we -mount and ride." 

He pulled hard upon the throat leather then, nearly sending me from my feet, pulling me forward as he 
strode off more deeply into the forest. The other two males laughed, Clomain more shrilly than Cludain, 
both following quickly, though Clomain paused briefly with a further laugh. In a moment had his footsteps 
rejoined his brother's, yet another hand of hurried steps were forced upon me before I learned of the 
reason for his pause. 

"Hat, filly, step along more briskly there!" came the voice of Clomain, accompanied by the sharp sting of 
a switch across my thighs. Again the three males laughed, and again I would have snarled, yet there was 
naught else I might do for it. Bound in leather and pulled by the neck, I was able to do no more than 
follow. 

The distance to the camp of the gray-clad males was not far, and those who peopled the camp sprang to 
their feet with exclamations of surprise at our appearance. The male Mondolain continued his unrelenting 
pull till we stood in the very center of the camp, near to the large, now easily seen fire, and then he turned 
to the others. 

"The first of four, my friends!" he cried, attempting to send me to my knees by a sharp pull upon the 
leather he held. As I stood flat-footed he did no more than bring an ache to my neck-till one of those 
behind struck my knees with his second pull. Down I went, nearly pitching forward on my face, and the 
laughter set flame to my rage so that it well nigh boiled over. My teeth set hard in the cloth between my 
lips, my wrists pulled furiously at the leather which held them, and little of the grass, dirt and stones 
beneath my knees penetrated my awareness. 

"The first of four, my friends," laughed Mondolain, drawing the leather about my throat as tight as he was 
able. "The other three are as toothsome as this one, and held by only four men. We will gladly 
accompany you in the taking of them-as soon as we have taught this one to know the men she now 
serves. Clomain!" 

"Yes, Mondolain!" acknowledged the third male eagerly amid the stirring excitement and laughter of 
those who had been found within the camp. "Are we to begin the amusement?" 


"Indeed we are," said Mondolain, sending an already amused glance at the switch the other male held. 
My thighs and calves ached from the doing of that switch, nearly as much as my hand ached for the hilt of 
my sword. "We must be sure our filly is not lost among the others," said Mondolain, his eyes close upon 
me. "Therefore must we mark her clearly as ours. Draw your dagger Clomain, and come stand beside 
me." 

"Indeed we are," said Mondolain, sending an already amused glance at the switch the other male held. 
My thighs and calves ached from the doing of that switch, nearly as much as my hand ached for the hilt of 
my sword. "We must be sure our filly is not lost among the others," said Mondolain, his eyes close upon 
me. "Therefore must we mark her clearly as ours. Draw your dagger Clomain, and come stand beside 
me." 

"See how large and insolent her breasts are, Clomain," murmured the other into what had become a 
deep, breathless silence, his eyes close to glowing. "Such breasts draw a man's eyes and hands; therefore 
shall we make certain that all know whose property they are being drawn to. We shall mark her with the 
letters of our names, Clomain, one letter upon each of her breasts, cut deep so that they will scar 
properly when they have healed. Are we not fortunate that there are no more than the two letters among 
the three of us? Had it not been so, we would require a wench with three breasts." 

"Indeed, a wench with three breasts!" laughed Clomain, his hands caressing his dagger, the wildness in his 
laughter bringing a chill to those who stood about in the warmth of the darkness. One or two attempted 
to join his laughter, yet was their mirth filled more with fear than amusement, for the male before me truly 
relished the thought of that which he would do. His use of the dagger would be slow, I knew, and 
fervently did I give thanks that what pain I felt would be unable to pass my lips, yet thought of the shame 
in being marked so brought a trembling to my body which I was unable to halt. No honest battle scars 
would I be given, but the marks of ownership by males! My breathing grew faster to the great thud off 
my heart, and when I made to rise to my feet, a fist came suddenly to tangle painfully in my hair. 

"Begin now, Clomain," came the voice of the other, he who was called Cludain, he who continued to 
stand to my left. By the fistful of hair was I bent backward enough so that he with the dagger would have 
no difficulty in reaching me, also disallowing me all possibility of rising. "Perhaps I will take her first after 
all," said Cludain, "yet must you begin now." 

The voice of the male who held me was thick, companioning the smell of desire which was equally thick 
upon him. The male was greatly aroused by the pain I would be given, a thing which brought me greater 
illness than the prospect of the doing itself. A rush of hatred for all things male flashed deeply through me 
as he with the dagger came slowly, laughingly forward, and when his free hand touched me softly, 
caressingly, truly did I believe I would soon be even more deeply ill despite the cloth between my teeth. 
Again I struggled where I was held, sweat slicking my body and face, the dagger now coming to touch 
my flesh-and then was it suddenly withdrawn in shocked surprise. 

"Jalav, where have you gone to?" came the call of alight, unconcerned voice, clearly the voice of Ilvin. 
"Darkness has fallen, and Mehrayn desires your service. You must return and see to him, for he grows 
most agitated. Jalav!" 

All in the camp had turned at the sound of Ilvin's voice, even those who stood about me. With my hair no 
longer held in so tight a grip I, too, was able to look toward the sound, and then was it no longer sound 
alone which took the attention of all. Into the clearing stepped Ilvin, her long, pale hair wet yet from her 
swim across the stream, her body as bare as mine and also pale from the faint illumination thrown upon it 
by the firelight. She halted a scant step within the clearing, looked all about herself, then let her eyes come 
to me. 

"What do you all do here?" she demanded angrily. "That is not a city slave-woman you hold, therefore 
are you to release her at once!" 


"Rather than release her, my pretty," said Mondolain, a slow grin taking him, "it would please us more to 
have you join her. You were to be ours in any event, yet sooner is more desirable than later. Seize her, 
you men!" 

"Rather than release her, my pretty," said Mondolain, a slow grin taking him, "it would please us more to 
have you join her. You were to be ours in any event, yet sooner is more desirable than later. Seize her, 
you men!" 

"Perhaps you would also care to seize me," said Chaldrin, suddenly appearing from behind a tree no 
more than two steps from Ilvin, a sword held in each of his hands. He, too, was otherwise bare of 
covering, and as he halted beside her, she took her sword from him. 

"You, male, are scarcely as seizable as I," said Ilvin, settling the hilt in her fist with a widening grin. "It is I 
they wish to seize, therefore must they be allowed to do so. Come, males, come and seize me." 

Those who had begun to make for Ilvin had halted at the appearance of Chaldrin, milling about with 
hands to weapons as though in great confusion. All had been startled by the abrupt appearance of the 
male, yet startlement held Mondolain the shortest. 

"He is no more than one blade against your four!" he called to those who milled about. "The wench is 
naught, and may be taken when his blood flows to the ground! Down him quickly and then seize her!" 

"Ah, now am I able to understand," said Chaldrin as the four drew and began a cautious advance upon 
him. "I am to be downed, wench, while you are to be seized. I had thought at first that I was to be 
ignored entirely." 

"No, it is I they think to ignore," said Ilvin with a sniff of contempt, her attention close upon those who 
approached. "A pity they will not survive to learn how greatly they err." 

A grin took Chaldrin at the scorn in Ilvin's tone, and then the four who approached rushed together upon 
him. He and Ilvin stood shoulder to shoulder as the clash of fire-glaring blades sounded for a brief 
moment, and then one of the gray-clad males stepped back in shock the while his brothers fell lifelessly to 
the ground. 

"Ha! You were mistaken, girl," said Chaldrin, gesturing with a red-streaked blade to the male who 
continued to back from the two. "There is one who survives to learn how greatly he has erred." 

"For now," agreed Ilvin as she again raised her own redly glistening weapon. "We shared the last of those 
three, therefore am I due the fourth alone. I am, after all, a warrior of Mida, and you no more than simply 
a male." 

"Slay them," whispered Mondolain, a sudden trembling taking him. "Slay them both and slay them now!" 

His scream of rage brought the others, forward as they dragged weapon from scabbard, and surely did I 
think to see Chaldrin and Ilvin stand back to back against so many; that they merely stood as they had 
with grins upon their faces brought me confusion, yet again the confusion was quickly seen to. 

"Are we also to be allowed to slay them?" came a voice, and this time the followers of the Oneness 
whirled to see Wedin and the Sigurri male Gidain to the right, Dotil and the second Sigurri Rinain to the 
left. Each held a sword, each was completely bare, and each wore a grin resembling those upon Chaldrin 
and Ilvin. It was the male Gidain who had spoken, and the words brought even greater rage to 


Mondolain. 

Mondolain. 

Fear now drove the gray-clad ones, therefore did they obey without hesitation. All six made for Chaldrin 
and Ilvin, thinking to take those two and then have fewer to face when the Summa and Sigurri reached 
them. Ilvin and Chaldrin were quickly engaged, the Summa and Sigurri ran as quickly to their aid, and he 
who was called Mondolain trembled in fear and fury as he watched. 

"They may best us," he muttered, a wildness to the muttering. "Our numbers were greater than theirs, and 
yet they may best us. It is all the fault of the wench, and she, at least, will not live to mock us." 

With the end of his muttering was his sword drawn slowly clear of its scabbard, and then he turned 
toward me, his intent plain. That he and his two stood without aiding the others was of no moment to him, 
nor was the lack of ability of those he rode with. I pulled again, futilely, at the leather which bound me as 
Mondolain and his two turned full to look upon me, then ceased my struggles in confusion when their 
eyes rose in startlement to look beyond me. 

"The wench may well have asked to be taken by strolling about alone and unarmed, yet you need not 
have obliged her," came the voice of Mehrayn, from the sound of it so near that he was well nigh upon 
me. "A man must learn to be responsible for the consequences of his own doings, else shall those 
consequences be the last he receives in this life." 

"You are a fool to believe you may stand before us alone," said Mondolain to Mehrayn, his face now 
twisted in a sneer of gratification. "We three, at least, will have the opportunity of losing ourselves in the 
darkness of the forests, and you may go to your death knowing the wench will accompany us. When she 
follows you to your unknown god's pastures, you will no longer find her recognizable. Let us take him 
now, and quickly!" 

His final words were hissed urgently to his companions, yet before they might comply Mehrayn, as bare 
as the others, had leapt to a place before me, bringing the battle to those who foolishly thought to slay 
him. The swords of all three made frantic attempt to reach him, yet he knocked their blades aside with a 
sound of contempt, his effortless replies causing the gray-clad males to strain to keep his point from their 
bodies. Again and again the three attempted to best the one, yet their sword skill was no greater than that 
of the others of their ilk; when abruptly the male Clomain gasped and drew his brother back with him, 
Mondolain was left to face Mehrayn alone. 

"Disengage quickly, Mondolain!" Clomain cried, grasping Cludain by the arm in shrill terror. "His 
shoulder- Can you not see his shoulder? He is a Prince of the Blood in Sigurr's legions!" 

"No!" screamed Mondolain, taken fully by terror, yet had the warning come far too late. Mehrayn's 
sword slid easily within his belly, bringing forth gurgling redness from his mouth, and then did the male slip 
lifelessly to the ground, his sword falling from eternally numbed fingers. 

Cludain and Clomain watched till Mondolain lay crumpled in his own blood, and then did they begin, as 
one, to back from Mehrayn. No longer was Cludain distant and Clomain wildly amused, for the two 
were filled with a fear which paled them to powder, and set their limbs to trembling as though with a 
fever. Step by step they backed, their eyes unmoving from Mehrayn, who slowly pursued them, till the 
breath of their god upon the backs of their necks caused them to jerk their heads about. Behind them 
were none living save those of my traveling set, the six of whom also slowly advanced with bloodied 
blades, the still forms of those who had been followers of the Serene Oneness covering the ground 
behind them. A soul-lost whimper escaped Clomain, his sword fell from an unfeeling grip, and then did he 


go to his knees, in the fire-lit darkness and grasp the leg of his brother with both arms. 

go to his knees, in the fire-lit darkness and grasp the leg of his brother with both arms. 

The words of the male turned to wordless screams, echoing about the camp and tearing at the flesh of 
those who heard them. He who was called Cludain stood with point down and eyes nearly closed, a 
shudder running through him at his brother's terror that was clearly derived from great pleasure. All had 
halted short of the two, males and warriors alike, disgust covering the faces of the males, frowns upon the 
warriors. When he who was erect clasped himself one-handed with the agony of his pleasure, the Hitta 
and two Summa warriors lost their frowns and advanced together to circle about and stand before the 
two. Wedin and Dotil quickly raised their blades as Ilvin guarded their backs, and then was there 
sharpened metal plunged into the bodies of the last of those who were gray-clad, ending screams of 
terror and grunts of pleasure together. Those males who rode with our set remained unmoving even after 
the two brothers had fallen side by side, a thing which showed them possessed of greater reason than 
most males. The sight of those bereft too often brought pity to males, filling them only with thoughts of 
those whom the gods had crookedly touched, taking all thought of those who would be victim to such 
unfortunates. Kindest and wisest was to end ones unable to live as those about them, for in such an 
ending lay the sole salvation of those innocents who would feed their monstrous appetites. Had it been 
possible to straighten their crookedness the Summa would surely have done that instead; with 
straightening impossible, no other avenue was practical save that which they had taken. 

"You wenches had best clean your blades as quickly as possible," said Chaldrin in a rumble filled with 
vast distaste, his eyes upon the two males who lay upon the ground. "I have heard it said that the blood 
of ones such as they may poison a man simply by its touch. We would none of us wish to be poisoned in 
such a manner." 

The faces of the two Sigurri warriors reflected fervent agreement with Chaldrin's words, and then was I 
able to see no further of them, for Mehrayn had turned and come back toward me. He stood before me 
as his hand went to the leather which held the cloth between my lips, the leather was freed, and then was 
the cloth pulled away. I attempted to return moisture to my mouth as I awaited the removal of the leather 
from my wrists, yet Mehrayn crouched before me instead, his gore-smeared sword still held in his fist. 

"I give thanks to Sigurr that that madman had not the time to use his dagger upon you," said he, his 
shadowed eyes looking down upon me. "Ilvin's appearance kept him from it as it was meant to, and no 
later opportunity was allowed him. For what reason did you take yourself to this side of the stream, alone 
and without a single weapon? How was it possible for those three to have surprised you so easily?" 

"Consideration of the tasks yet before me filled my mind too full," I husked, the cloth taste remaining to 
plague my tongue. "So many are the matters which demand my attention, that nearly did I find an end to 
them all. The state is distasteful, and once again I must give my thanks for having had my life returned to 
me. Will you now remove the leather upon my wrists?" 

"Distasteful," said he, continuing to stare upon me without attempting to do as I had asked. The others, 
not far distant to begin with, came to stand and stare in a similar manner, silent in the darkness. "Nearly 
does she end mutilated or slain, and the state is distasteful," said Mehrayn in a mutter. "She wanders 
about lost in thought, unconcerned over that which occurs about her, finds herself taken captive by 
madman, and considers the matter no more than distasteful. " 

"Clearly is it through Mida's wishes that we accompany her," said Wedin, something of annoyance to be 
heard in her voice. "Mida desires the survival of her chosen during times of difficulty, therefore are we to 


guard the war leader in her distraction. Our presence can have no other purpose." 

guard the war leader in her distraction. Our presence can have no other purpose." 

"A war leader of the Midanna requires no others to guard her!" I snapped, glaring about at males and 
warriors alike, unthinkingly pulling at the leather which continued to hold me. "To allow others to stand 
for one is the act of a coward, a thing warriors, at least, should be aware of! Jalav shall guard herself as 
ever she has done, facing her enemies in her own shadow, and now does she demand to be released!" 

"Ever does Jalav make demands upon one point or another," said Mehrayn, thick annoyance having 
come to him, his shadow-form still crouched before me. "So enmeshed is she in the doings of the gods, 
that the doings of men have become of less importance to her than ever. To guard one at the behest of 
the gods brings no dishonor upon that one, wench, no more than the desired safety given them. Such 
safety will be given Jalav, for in her foolishness such guarding has become necessary. Kneel silently, 
wench, and obey the man to whom the gods have given you." 

Great anger wished to bring forth further words from my throat, yet the male had presumed upon the 
foolishness of the gods and I was unable to deny his command. I knelt in seething rage before him, no 
longer permitted to discuss the false understanding of those who stood about me, and then the male 
straightened and moved to stand behind me. Carefully did the edge of his sword touch the leather which 
bound me, its keenness slicing quickly through the coils, and when all of it had fallen away, his hand came 
to my arm to raise me to my feet. 

"No," said he, halting my fingers they began to unknot the leather upon my throat. "As Jalav pays so little 
heed to where she strolls, she is clearly in need of some form of guidance. You will remain close beside 
me till I release you, wench, for I strongly feel that the gods wish you to be well schooled in the 
consequences of folly. Perhaps when you are once again unbound, you will give greater thought to 
retaining that freedom." 

Approval was strong in the manner of those others who stood about, unbelievably even in those who 
called themselves Midanna. Mehrayn took up the leather lead in his free hand, paying no mind to the 
soundless fury he was doubtless able to see upon me, and turned to the balance of our set. 

"Let us merely put out their fire," said he, looking about at the unmoving forms in the clearing. "The beasts 
of the forest will see to the disposal of their carcasses, a disposition which is more than fitting for such as 
these." 

Murmurs of agreement came only from the males as they and my warriors turned to give their attention to 
the leaping flames, and Mehrayn's glance touched me briefly. 

"Indeed does your lady continue to watch over you," he murmured, coiling the end of the leather he held. 
"Had S'Heernoh not seen you being taken and spoken of it immediately, you would now be held more 
closely by agony than this leather holds you. We paused no longer than to take up swords before we 
came, therefore do we all seem more prepared for pleasure than battle. I give thanks to Sigurr that your 
wenches have no more need to cover themselves than do we." 

By then was the fire nearly smothered and quenched by the dirt thrown up from the ground and the 
contents of the drinking skins which had been found among the possessions of the gray-clad males, 
therefore was Mehrayn unable to see my look of derision. No other than city slave-women would find it 
necessary to first cover their bodies before going gladly to battle, and the Midanna were far from so low 


a place. Had Mehrayn had a true understanding of warriors, never would he have shown surprise over so 
obvious a point. 

a place. Had Mehrayn had a true understanding of warriors, never would he have shown surprise over so 
obvious a point. 

"How pleased I am to see that you all return in safety," he exclaimed, grinning about in greatly relieved 
welcome. "The kirol is already upon the fire, therefore may you all take your ease the while it cooks, 
regathering your strength and drying your hides." He chuckled well at the delight shown by Summa, Hitta 
and Sigurri, then did he turn to me when they had taken themselves toward the coverings and weapons 
they had left behind. "I am most gratified to find that you are unharmed, war leader," said he, looking with 
amusement upon the leather held by Mehrayn. "To see your health and beauty undiminished gladdens my 
heart." 

I spoke no word to the male for I had been bidden to silence, yet surely was he able to see to how small 
an extent I shared his amusement. I held his gaze till discomfort began to touch him, a thing which 
Mehrayn was able to see. 

"Had I not demanded silence from her, she would surely give you gracious thanks for your timely 
warning, S'Heernoh, " said Sigurr's Sword, the words smooth despite the shadow of annoyance to be 
heard behind them. "I have decreed punishment for her for her carelessness, from which she will learn or 
face additional punishment. You have, of course, my own thanks as well." 

"The pleasure was mine, Prince," said S'Heernoh with a gesture of dismissal, a faint smile now touching 
him. "If you will excuse me, I must see to the kirol." 

His bow to me was wryly formal, odd in its execution, as odd as the male himself. The moment he turned 
away Mehrayn also took himself off, and I, perforce, followed after. When we reached the covered pelt 
he took his sleep upon, Mehrayn gestured curtly toward it. 

"Put yourself there, wench, belly down and cheek to the fur," said he, his voice held low to keep the 
growl of anger from reaching the ears of others. "You behave as a child would, sullenly ungrateful to the 
man who deserves your thanks, the while you sulk from the punishment you so eagerly sought with your 
own actions. Much do I feel the urge to cut a switch with which to see to you, and should there be any 
further difficulty from you this darkness, I shall surely do so." 

He watched as I placed myself upon the pelt as he had commanded, then did he turn from me and walk 
to his body cloth and swordbelt, anger continuing to turn his movements brusque and stiff. I, too, was 
filled with anger, for the male was a fool in all he said. Most certainly would I have given S'Heernoh 
thanks for his assistance had I been able, and that despite the fact of his amusement over the indignity 
termed "punishment" imposed upon me by Mehrayn. It was Mehrayn with whom I felt anger, for the male 
had no right to do as he did, despite the fact that the gods had granted him possession of me. Such 
possession was complete foolishness, for nearly had it been ended by the actions of the gray-clad males. 
Had they done as they had intended, his possession would have been shown as the mockery it was. 

I turned my head away from the fire, settling my left cheek to the pelt cloth, unable to find comfort 
through the twistings of my anger, and then all thoughts of anger and discomfort were gone, smothered 


beneath the sudden realization which took me. Mehrayn had spoken of my capture as carelessness, yet 
was Jalav seldom guilty of such a thing when she rode or walked the forests alone. Those who 
approached the forests with carelessness rarely survived them, a thing which all Midanna knew. That I 
had been lost in thought was true, and yet the reason for my having been taken so deeply into myself did 
not now seem as easily discernible as I had at first thought. Well was it possible that my senses had been 
turned inward and kept so, to ensure the capture which waited hidden from easy sight. Was this 
supposition true, the brevity of my capture in no manner indicated a jocular, light-hearted intent, for there 
was considerably more to the matter, which apparently only I now knew of. 

beneath the sudden realization which took me. Mehrayn had spoken of my capture as carelessness, yet 
was Jalav seldom guilty of such a thing when she rode or walked the forests alone. Those who 
approached the forests with carelessness rarely survived them, a thing which all Midanna knew. That I 
had been lost in thought was true, and yet the reason for my having been taken so deeply into myself did 
not now seem as easily discernible as I had at first thought. Well was it possible that my senses had been 
turned inward and kept so, to ensure the capture which waited hidden from easy sight. Was this 
supposition true, the brevity of my capture in no manner indicated a jocular, light-hearted intent, for there 
was considerably more to the matter, which apparently only I now knew of. 

"Jalav, you tremble," came Mehrayn's voice from close behind me, and then was his hand warm upon my 
arm. "Do not allow the thought of what was nearly done to you to bring you upset, wench. No man or 
beast will bring harm to you while I live." 

I turned upon the fur to see him where he knelt beside me, a dark shape in the sultry warmth of the 
darkness, then quickly rose to my own knees so that I might hold him about with all the strength in my 
arms. His own arms closed about me and held me as tightly as I held him, and had I not been a war 
leader of Midanna I would surely have wept with the loss which was to be mine. First Ceralt and now 
Mehrayn, for Jalav was to have no males; Jalav was to do no more than ride at Mida's command. So 
warm and strong was the body I held to, so familiar was the male smell of him-and so soon would he be 
taken from me. A fool was the male, as unreasoning and willing to give humiliation to a warrior as all 
males, yet would memory of him indeed remain with me for the rest of my feyd. That was the punishment 
I had been given, the agony of memory; beside it, Mehrayn's foolish efforts faded to naught. I closed my 
eyes in the circle of his arms, throbbing with the agony, knowing it was destined to be mine forever. 

CH 6. A new lesson-and a fool's challenge 

"Now, you wenches, pay close heed," said Chaldrin, walking slowly and unconcernedly along. Our camp 
was nearly ready to be abandoned for the new light had already come, yet was there a thing the males 
were of a mind to show us first. The two Sigurri warriors crouched down ahead of and to either side of 
the path Chaldrin trod, taking there from the sight of Mehrayn, beyond them and also in a crouch, also 
undetected. 

"Here I stroll, totally ignorant of the villains who lie in wait for me," said Chaldrin, slowly approaching the 


crouching Sigurri, yet seemingly seeing naught of them. "I am unarmed, therefore do the villains take me 
for easy prey, a lovely wench who may be captured and used till the tears fall from my eyes, 'till the evil 
lust is gone from them." 

crouching Sigurri, yet seemingly seeing naught of them. "I am unarmed, therefore do the villains take me 
for easy prey, a lovely wench who may be captured and used till the tears fall from my eyes, 'till the evil 
lust is gone from them." 

"As I come within reach, the villains leap and pounce upon me," said Chaldrin, his words bringing the two 
Sigurri warriors upright in mock attack. "As their hands close upon me I struggle, yet is their strength too 
great for me to overcome. I part my lips to scream for assistance, yet does the third of their ilk move 
quickly to silence my cries." 

Mehrayn, already erect, moved forward to place an imaginary cloth between Chaldrin's lips, yet was 
there something amiss. 

"The third came from behind," said I as Mehrayn approached Chaldrin, halting them in their movements. 
"The two held to me as these hold to you, yet did the third approach from behind and take my hair in his 
fist. An attacker from behind is not as easily guarded against." 

"To one with proper training, it makes no matter," said Chaldrin with a shrug of indifference, his arms still 
held by the Sigurri. "The Sword may approach from behind me if he wishes, yet must he guard himself 
more closely there, for I will not be able to see him well enough to know that my blow is sufficiently 
restrained." 

"How closely will I need to guard myself from a 'lovely, desirable wench'?" asked Mehrayn with a grin, 
looking upon Chaldrin. "The strength of a woman is not the strength of a man." 

"The movements I mean to demonstrate are not dependent upon strength," returned Chaldrin, the faintest 
trace of annoyance evident in his voice. "Even delivered by a wench, they are devastating." 

"You truly believe that you, using half strength, would find it possible to best the three of us, we using our 
full strength?" asked Mehrayn with a laugh, his two warriors joining his amusement. "We are trained 
warriors of Sigurr, Chaldrin, far from the ignorance and helplessness of those you are accustomed to 
teaching. If you wish your demonstration to have meaning, you may not propose such a thing to us." 

"And what meaning will my demonstration have if my attackers attack half-heartedly?" asked Chaldrin in 
turn, meeting the amused gaze of Mehrayn. "it was agreed that you and your warriors would use full 
strength, the while I would not. I shall use even less than the strength of a wench, for I would not wish to 
cause you and yours harm, brother." 

"Ah, you do not care to harm us," said Mehrayn, continuing in his amusement. "You wish us, however, to 
attempt to cause you harm. I would not have you look the fool, brother, for as I recall, you are not yet far 
enough healed to attempt a proper defense, yet should it truly be your wish-" 

"It is," said Chaldrin, a faint smile coming to him at the manner in which Mehrayn's words trailed off. 
"Should our wench not be convinced of the efficiency of this manner of battle, she will not make the 
attempt to master its precepts. In this instance, I must consider her needs above yours." 

"For the sake of our wench, then," said Mehrayn, his head raising somewhat as he nodded at Chaldrin. 
"We will take our 'prey' with full strength." 


With a final nod to his males Mehrayn took himself about behind Chaldrin, and clearly was it then 
possible to see that the two Sigurri held him in grips that seemed unbreakable. Chaldrin stood unmoving 
in the grips, as though truly held, and then did Mehrayn's fist take his hair in preparation for pulling his 
head back, free hand also held fisted, as though there were a cloth in it. 

With a final nod to his males Mehrayn took himself about behind Chaldrin, and clearly was it then 
possible to see that the two Sigurri held him in grips that seemed unbreakable. Chaldrin stood unmoving 
in the grips, as though truly held, and then did Mehrayn's fist take his hair in preparation for pulling his 
head back, free hand also held fisted, as though there were a cloth in it. 

"Had this been a true attack," said he with continuing calm, "the kick would have been to the attacker's 
privates, the elbow to the second attacker's throat, and the fist also to the throat. The first attacker would 
then be held by crippling pain, and the second and third slain from their throats having been crushed. The 
first would then be available either for questioning or for a leisurely ending, whichever course of action 
you preferred. There are also other responses available against such an attack, some as lethal as that 
which I chose, some more gentle. The decision of which to use is ever the choice of the one who is 
attacked." 

"Perhaps I should have stipulated a more gentle choice," said Mehrayn, raising himself from the ground 
with one hand to his head. The manner in which he looked upon Chaldrin should surely have produced 
deep chuckling in the second male, and when it did not, Mehrayn shook his head. "Very well," said he 
with a sigh, stepping nearer to the dark-haired male. "I have always been of the belief that a man should 
be given the credit due him, even should such giving be painful to the pride. Your ability to do battle 
without weapons far surpasses the ability I imagined was yours, and I ask your pardon for having 
doubted you. Had you used your full strength, my warriors and I might well have slept through the glory 
of this entire fey, if not longer. I will refrain from giving you challenge with swords, brother, if you will 
continue to refuse challenge from me with no weapons. I have been struck on the head, you see, and 
therefore cannot be held responsible for what foolish challenges I offer." 

"Sigurr would surely frown upon me if I were to take advantage of a man who has been struck on the 
head," said Chaldrin, and now the chuckling was indeed upon him. "You need feel no anxiety, brother, 
for I shall not accept challenge from anyone in this manner of battle-save, perhaps, from the wenches, 
when they feel themselves far enough advanced. I shall do with them as my teacher did with me." 

"I give thanks that they have not as many kalod in which to learn," said Mehrayn, sending a look to me as 
his hand went again to his head. "It should prove possible to successfully defend myself for the balance of 
this journey, I hope, for there may be additional punishment to be given, and I shall not stint upon my 
duty no matter the consequences. For now, I think it best that we ride." 

With Mida's light growing stronger it was well past time to continue our journey, yet had I been forbidden 
to speak upon the point. Indeed I had been forbidden all matters of leadership the while Mehrayn's 
punishment continued, a foolishness which already filled me with annoyance. Soon the male would be 
taken from me, and he concerned himself with no other thing than punishment. Such great fools were 
males that I could not tell why warriors found any attraction in them whatsoever. 

Chaldrin and Mehrayn and S'Heernoh examined each of Mehrayn's males, found them no more than 
shaken, then Chaldrin and the gray-haired male assisted them to their kand. Summa and Hitta also went 


to their kand, yet was she who was Hosta forced to remain where she stood till Mehrayn came to again 
take up the leather lead tied about her throat. Weapons had been permitted her-nay, it was demanded 
that she don them-yet had she been commanded to take no step save that Sigurr's Sword held her leash. 
A growling anger flexed its claws in her flesh, yet the male Mehrayn cared not; her possession had been 
given him by the gods, and she was able to deny him naught. 

to their kand, yet was she who was Hosta forced to remain where she stood till Mehrayn came to again 
take up the leather lead tied about her throat. Weapons had been permitted her-nay, it was demanded 
that she don them-yet had she been commanded to take no step save that Sigurr's Sword held her leash. 
A growling anger flexed its claws in her flesh, yet the male Mehrayn cared not; her possession had been 
given him by the gods, and she was able to deny him naught. 

"Your wenches have changed considerably since they fought beside Chaldrin and my warriors last 
darkness," said Mehrayn, amusement to be heard in his voice as he, too, looked upon what occurred 
between the others. "They no longer consider Sigurri 'mere males,' for they have become battle 
companions through the shared shedding of enemy blood. The wenches, too, are now looked upon 
differently by my men, for they have become more than 'mere wenches.' " 

Indeed did it seem that Mehrayn spoke the truth, for the males hastened to assure my warriors that no 
lasting hurt had come to them, their manner quiet and without amusement at the concern shown on their 
behalf. Truly did it seem that males and warriors had formed an odd, new clan, each member pleased 
with the presence of the others, each member happily aware of the new state. To me, however, the thing 
seemed in some manner wrong, for never before had warriors and males drawn together so. 

"Remove that frown from your face, wench," said Mehrayn, drawing my eyes to where he looked down 
upon me. "Your disapproval stems only from the punishment you now find yourself subjected to, and will 
disappear once you no longer chafe beneath my restrictions. You cannot deny warriors the pleasure they 
have ever sought, the pleasure of one who will not only lie with them but who will also stand with them. 
No warrior will be denied so." 

It came to me then with a good deal of shock that Mehrayn referred to both male and female, both 
Midanna and Sigurri. Neither would find it possible to live as the other currently did, therefore had they 
chosen an entirely different manner, one new to both, one acceptable to both. The male before me 
seemed desperately eager to become a part of that newness, yet I recalled that he had been denied to 
me. Were I to attempt to join the newness of the others, my very presence would likely bring Mida such 
anger that she would bring the newness crashing down upon the heads of those who attempted it. For the 
sake of those about me I must obey the goddess, and think naught of the bitter gall which filled me. 

"I care not what others do," I said to him who looked upon me so closely, turning my face from him. 
"There is but one thing for this warrior to do, and that is to see to the tasks she has been given. I have 
neither the time nor the interest to dally and sport, for I am a war leader. Those others are not." 

"For one who has no interest in sport, wench, you do well in the furs," returned the male, his hand coming 
to touch my neck beneath my hair, amusement in his tone. "When we halt for our mid-fey meal I shall be 
more than prepared for you again, and it is my command that you speak to me then of how you greatly 
desire my use. The words will not be lies, I know, for you have shown your true feelings for me often 


enough when not angry and petulant. You may mount now for the others are prepared to depart, yet are 
you to think often in the hind to come of the use which awaits you. In such a manner will you soon come 
to be as eager as I." 

enough when not angry and petulant. You may mount now for the others are prepared to depart, yet are 
you to think often in the hind to come of the use which awaits you. In such a manner will you soon come 
to be as eager as I." 

We rode till the light was near its highest, the silence allowing me to remain deeply immersed in my 
thoughts. In the midst of consideration of what approach would be best to the enemy clans, and possible 
deployment of warriors against that which the strangers would bring to the coming battle, the hind flew 
away to naught; before I became aware of it a clearing had been found in the forest we had reentered, all 
were preparing to dismount. I looked about me in considerable confusion, and Mehrayn chuckled as he 
came to my kan to put his hands to my waist. 

"So you have at last returned to us," said he, taking me from the kan as though I were unable to do the 
thing myself. "So well wrapped in thought were you that none of us thought it wise to disturb you, for you 
undoubtedly considered the tasks you have been given-as well as that which was commanded by me. 
Are you prepared to please me?" 

I looked upon the male with a good deal of exasperation, for in the midst of matters of import, his 
commands had slipped from my memory. Had the word which bound me to him been mine, I would 
have been forsworn; as the condition had come about by the decision of another, I was merely visited 
with annoyance. 

"You cannot mean I was disobeyed," said he, seeing in my face the truth I had not yet put words to. "Are 
you so simple-minded a wench that you cannot recall what disobedience brings you?" 

The mock sternness in his manner as he looked down upon me increased my annoyance, for it was clear 
that the male spoke only to bring me anger which could not be protested nor revenged. In this instance, 
however, his intentions were idle, for he, himself, had admitted acquiescence to necessity. 

"Perhaps it is Mehrayn who has forgotten that the commands of Mida are not to be interfered with by a 
male," said I, meeting the green gaze in which the hint of amusement attempted to hide. "As it was her 
tasks I considered as I rode, I cannot be taken to task for having overlooked male foolishness. The 
goddess will undoubtedly make clear the point when the male Mehrayn has been claimed by her." 

Abruptly was all amusement gone from the male, the look he sent to me as I folded my arms well filled 
with rapidly growing annoyance, yet before he might speak of his displeasure, Chaldrin appeared beside 
us. 

"With the permission of Sigurr's Sword, I will have the wench now," said he, his calm taking no note of 
the manner in which Mehrayn looked upon me-and I him. "There is a good deal of time yet before our 
meal is prepared, therefore shall we begin her lessons. I would see her as knowledgeable and competent 


as possible for the time she must face those other wenches." 

as possible for the time she must face those other wenches." 

"Very well," said he, reaching to the knot of the leather about my throat. "You may have the wench for a 
lesson, yet is she to be sent back to me immediately the lesson is done. There will be a second lesson 
awaiting her which she will see to before she takes her provender. Best you see that the matter does not 
again slip from your mind, girl." 

Again was that green gaze sent to me, no amusement to be seen as he coiled the leather, then did Sigurr's 
Sword turn and walk off. Chaldrin watched him gone, then did he turn to send me a look of his own. 

"You seem to joy in provoking him, wench," said he, resting one hand upon the flank of my kan, "Do you 
joy as well in the hidings your provocation brings you?" 

"I do no more than speak the truth," said I, looking upon Chaldrin as I had looked upon Mehrayn. 
"Would you care to have me speak the truth to you as well, brother?" 

"At times the truth is best left unspoken," said he, showing faint amusement at my question. "One such as 
I, with great wisdom to call upon, am easily able to tell that this is such a time. Remove your sword and 
dagger, and stand with the others." 

Ilvin, Wedin and Dotil, already weaponless, stood awaiting my arrival and the battle method Chaldrin 
would teach, therefore did I divest myself of sword and dagger and join them, tying a bit of leather about 
my hair as they had done. Midanna much preferred entering battle with leather holding their hair, yet 
recent circumstances kept me from the practice. The three Midanna warriors greeted me warmly when I 
joined their ranks. It would have brought shame to all had they allowed themselves to see the humiliation 
being given a war leader without trying to halt it, therefore would they have been bound to give me 
assistance-against Mida's will. That they believed the punishments given me by Mehrayn were Mida-sent 
was clear, for the will of a mere male would have meant naught to them; this belief freed them from the 
embarrassment of needing to come to my aid. I returned their greetings with polite formality, unable to 
argue against an unwillingness to oppose a goddess-yet did my former annoyance and anger increase. 

Chaldrin began lessons that did well to lessen the emotion of anger. First were we required to stretch 
ourselves in all manner of odd ways, so that we would not harm ourselves when we began the true 
lessons. The heat of the fey did naught to aid us, and quickly were we covered with the sweat of 
exertion, bending and stretching as though we attempted to warm ourselves against the cold. When this 
loosening, as Chaldrin called it, was done, we began to learn the proper manner of delivering kicks. One 
did not merely kick out, we were told, one kicked with either the heel, the side of one's foot, or the place 
just beneath the toes, with the toes held well up out of the way. We attempted these manners of kicks, 
over and over, Chaldrin speaking quietly in correction, berating us only when it seemed to him that our 
efforts flagged. Many reckid passed in the doing, and then were we begun upon the method of keeping 
another's hands from us with our own fists and arms, a thing termed blocking. This, too, was done again 
and again, the time lasting till our provender was done, and then did Chaldrin call a halt. 

"You wenches may now rest yourselves," said he, seemingly pleased with our efforts and the sheen of 
sweat which covered us. "Your rate of breathing remains well in your control, a pleasant sight for me 
after my having trained so many who panted and gasped from so small an effort. When we make 
darkness camp, we will do the same again." 

Ilvin and the Summa murmured approval of the intention, undoubtedly feeling the same pleasure which 
touched me. The movements which Chaldrin had shown us were clearly no more than a small beginning, 


He released me then and got quickly to his feet, gathered up his body cloth and swordbelt, then rode 
quickly off, going toward the kand. Ever is it necessary to recall that a weapon is able to cut both enemy 
and friend alike, and therefore must care be taken in its use. The male had forgotten this truth, therefore 
he had drawn blood from his own self, just as he had heretofore drawn the same only room me. I sat 
upon the grass with a hand to my ribs, pleased that the wielder had felt the same edge which so often 
tormented only me, less pleased that Mehrayn continued to forget how great a strength was in him. It 
would be necessary to speak of the matter to Chaldrin, I saw, to learn if there was aught which might be 
done to free me from such an embrace. 

He released me then and got quickly to his feet, gathered up his body cloth and swordbelt, then rode 
quickly off, going toward the kand. Ever is it necessary to recall that a weapon is able to cut both enemy 
and friend alike, and therefore must care be taken in its use. The male had forgotten this truth, therefore 
he had drawn blood from his own self, just as he had heretofore drawn the same only room me. I sat 
upon the grass with a hand to my ribs, pleased that the wielder had felt the same edge which so often 
tormented only me, less pleased that Mehrayn continued to forget how great a strength was in him. It 
would be necessary to speak of the matter to Chaldrin, I saw, to learn if there was aught which might be 
done to free me from such an embrace. 

His gaze had gone to my hand where it lay against my ribs, therefore was the question not unreasonable. 
I withdrew the hand, for there was naught save a small soreness within, and looked upon the male. 

"I thank you for your concern, yet am I unharmed," said I, attempting to keep the annoyance from my 
voice. "It does indeed ease me to have one less difficulty to ponder, for I truly believe that that difficulty is 
one without an answer, one beyond the power of a war leader to solve. As I am now able to speak with 
you, I also wish to give you my thanks for your assistance of the last darkness. I dislike your amusement 
over the doings of Mehrayn, yet are you indisputably due my thanks--despite the fact that you continue 
to pry into matters which concern only others. Have you no desire for continued life, that you press the 
patience of a Midanna war leader so closely and so often?" 

The male blinked at me in seeming surprise, then did he smile with the wry amusement which had come 
to him so often of late. 

"Your openness might well be considered childlike, were one to discount the topic spoken upon," said 
he, linking his fingers before him as he continued in his crouch. "For what reason do you consider 
concern from the others permissible, the while from me it is prying? Am I then so much less than they?" 

The question was mildly put, no more than curiosity to be heard in it, and yet did it seem that there was 
something of hurt hovering beneath. For what reason the male would feel hurt I knew not; was he not a 
stranger among us? 

"The Summa and Hitta are sisters to me, the male Chaldrin a brother," said I, an odd discomfort 
beginning to touch me. "Mehrayn and his males are battle companions, those who have earned a place at 
my back. All of those I ride with are warriors, known and valued for their presence. The male S'Heernoh 
is-unknown." 

"Ah, I am the stranger in your midst," said he with a nod of understanding, his smile warming. "I have not 
stood in battle with you, therefore do I remain an outsider. Your upbringing among the clans has taught 
you suspicion and distrust of the stranger, for he might well be an enemy. A pity you were not raised as a 
town girl, who is taught instead to respect and obey a man of mature kalod. And yet even if you had 
been, I much doubt you would be as the others about you, well-mannered, shy, and obedient. There is 
that within you which would disallow such qualities." 

His smile grew to amusement as he straightened out of his crouch, and it was with that amusement that he 
looked down upon me. 

"I doubt I shall ever become a battle companion to you, lady war leader," said he with his odd smile. "I 
shall, however, endeavor to become less of a stranger, for it is not my intention to curb the 'prying' which 


brings you such annoyance. I shall continue to concern myself with your doings, therefore may you take 
sword in hand and strike me down, else may you resign yourself to the 'prying.' Among my people it was 
my place to give what comfort and aid I might to those who had need of them. I have come too far along 
the road to change the habits of a lifetime." 

brings you such annoyance. I shall continue to concern myself with your doings, therefore may you take 
sword in hand and strike me down, else may you resign yourself to the 'prying.' Among my people it was 
my place to give what comfort and aid I might to those who had need of them. I have come too far along 
the road to change the habits of a lifetime." 

Again did the male look upon me with blinking surprise, much of his amusement gone, yet had I no 
further time to spend in converse with him. I therefore turned to my breech and weapons and prepared to 
once again resume my journey. 

Mehrayn had ridden ahead of our set, yet was his track clear through the forest and for the most part 
unhurried. He undoubtedly sought no more than the solitude I had sought, in which to consider the 
difficulty he had given himself. It mattered little what decision the male made, for it continued to escape 
him that the final decision lay in hands other than his. The request he had made of me had at first brought 
pain, yet the pain grew less the longer I considered it. If Mehrayn were taken, his need would truly be 
greater than mine, for agony and forced use would be his sole companions. I well remembered how 
greatly I had been aided by sweet memory through the use I had been put to by Sigurr, and clearly saw 
that Mehrayn would require the same. It had been foolish to believe that I might put the male from my 
mind, for such a thing was no longer possible; memory of him would remain with me till my soul spread 
and faded in the final darkness. The doings of the gray-clad males, the near marking of my flesh by cause 
of their twisted desires, had brought me an unreasoning fear over the anger of the goddess, yet that fear 
no longer held to me with the strength it had first had, therefore would struggle and an attempted humility 
be doomed to failure before it had truly begun. I must obey Mida, yet would I do so as I had ever done, 
acting in the manner I deemed most fit. Were I to be punished for the decision I had made, it would be 
clear that Mida no longer wished me for her chosen. 

Though the others rode not far from me, I remained alert and aware of the forests I rode through, deep 
thought this time finding it impossible to take me. It was for this reason that I knew immediately of 
Mehrayn's return, and found no startlement when he drew his kan up beside mine. 

"Wench, I have come to a decision," said he, his tone brisk and decisive, his eyes more upon the forest 
we rode through than upon she to whom he spoke. "As I would sooner lose you than bring you pain, I 
will no longer press you for that which you are reluctant to give. You may withdraw from me as far as 
you are able, for I shall no longer even take use from you." 

"Indeed," said I in a murmur, examining our path with fully as much care as he. "And do you also mean to 
return to your own?" 

"Would that I were able to do so," said he, a weariness behind the words. "Had I not given my vow to 
the gods, I would surely relieve you of my presence, yet has my word indeed been given. I must remain 
with you, yet shall I take care to give you as little awareness of my presence as possible." 

"Shall you, indeed," said I again, this time turning my head to gaze upon him. "And what shall occur, great 
fool of a male, should the war leader Jalav come to the decision that she wishes the near presence of a 
fool of a male? Does the male believe he will refuse her?" 


"You believe I will allow you to give me the warmth I mindlessly asked for despite the pain it brings you?" 
he said with a sound of disdain, also turning his head so that he might meet my gaze. "I will not permit you 
to do such a thing, Jalav, and it is my word which must be obeyed." 

"You believe I will allow you to give me the warmth I mindlessly asked for despite the pain it brings you?" 
he said with a sound of disdain, also turning his head so that he might meet my gaze. "I will not permit you 
to do such a thing, Jalav, and it is my word which must be obeyed." 

"You stubborn she-lenga!" growled Mehrayn, anger in his tone. "Never is there obedience from you, no 
matter the point, no matter the desires of others! Upon this point, however, there shall be obedience, for 
I am determined that it will be so! Do not protest, for I will hear none of it! I will simply be obeyed!" 

His anger then put heels to his kan, taking him and his mount once again from our set. I watched till his 
stiffened shoulders disappeared from view, the greens and browns all about enfolding him quickly, then 
shook my head with a good deal of annoyance. It was said that fools are oft-times protected by the 
gods, therefore was Mehrayn's continued survival in some manner explained. As a male, Mehrayn did 
well in upholding the standards of them all. 

Our ride through the balance of the fey was uneventful, and when we reached an adequate place to camp 
for the darkness, we discovered that Mehrayn had halted there first. There was no stream nor pond in 
which to bathe, no more than a narrow rill from which to drink, and when Ilvin, Wedin, Dotil and I again 
began upon our lessons, we regretted the lack. We did again as we had done earlier in the fey, halting 
only when our nilno was nearly done. We who were Midanna might well have fed upon the nilno as it 
then was, yet was S'Heernoh firm in his decision that the provender would not be given us till it had 
received his approval, therefore did we wait with the others for the cuts to be properly roasted. Wedin 
and Dotil were amused at S'Heernoh's insistence, and Ilvin was uncaring; though I, myself, felt some faint 
annoyance, the matter was scarcely of great enough import to remark upon. There were other things to 
concern me then, one of which sat in solitary thought upon his cloth-covered fur, some distance about the 
fire from the balance of our set. 

"Rarely have I seen a man who appeared so determined and at the same time so filled with misery," said 
Chaldrin as he took a place beside me in the grass, his voice low, his eyes upon Mehrayn. "Have you 
been speaking further truths to him, wench, or has he found truths of his own?" 

"He is taken by what he believes to be his will," said I, moving my eyes from the fool of a male. "It yet 
remains to be seen for how long he considers it such. Which brings to mind, brother, a question I would 
ask: is there a manner one might use to escape from the clasp of arms too vigorously held to one? Well 
might such a thing be of use to a warrior, for males are ever of a mind to abuse their greater strength." 

"Indeed is there a method of relief for such a thing," said Chaldrin, faint amusement showing in the dark of 
his eyes. "There are, in fact, a number of such methods, some more ruinous than others. Do you 
anticipate the need of them in the near future?" 

His glance returned briefly to Mehrayn as his amusement increased, and this time did it seem that the 
humor was at the expense of one other than I. 

"The fool believes he will keep himself from me," said I, choosing not to add my glance to Chaldrin's. 
"Does he believe himself different from other males, that he spouts such foolishness? All males who look 
upon Jalav desire her, and in that Mehrayn has been so different from his brothers; given the opportunity 
to use Jalav he will do so, no matter the words he spoke, no matter his attempt to keep to his resolve. He 
is male, and will quickly come to recall naught else." 

"You are most likely correct, wench," said Chaldrin, his amusement having turned inward, his dark eyes 
full upon me. "I, myself, found it impossible to refuse you, and that in the face of a threat to my very life. 


How, then, might a man refuse you who feels for you what the Sword does?" 

How, then, might a man refuse you who feels for you what the Sword does?" 

Our provender was at last allowed us by S'Heernoh, therefore did we see to it in becoming silence. The 
nilno flesh was truly sweet, aided by the fire rather than ruined by it, a thing decreed by all who tasted of 
it. Truly pleased did S'Heernoh seem, he who had labored to bring us satisfaction, most especially when I 
added my voice to those of the others. I knew not the reason my approval brought him such pleasure, 
save perhaps that he understood at last that proper service alone would bring him such approval. Should 
such have been the truth, I might at last be freed from the annoyance I ever felt in his presence. 

Our fire had taken on greater and greater brilliance as the darkness deepened, and soon were we 
surrounded by naught save the sounds of the forest, calming hums and far-off snarls. Chaldrin and the 
two Sigurri spoke quietly with Ilvin, Dotil, and Wedin, sharing the various watches up among themselves, 
S'Heernoh sitting with them and merely listening. Mehrayn continued to keep to himself a distance from 
the balance of us, his nilno, like ours, already fed upon, his large body now stretched at ease upon his 
right side, his gaze lost to the leaping fire. I stirred where I sat then rose to my feet, feeling the beginnings 
of desire touch me. I would give Mehrayn the pleasure he would keep in memory, and then I would seek 
the healing depths of sleep, to rid myself of as much of the same memory as possible. Too many were the 
memories I had to be rid of them all, yet to dwell upon any of them would be idle; Jalav was denied 
males of her own by Mida, and there was naught which might be done for it. 

Mehrayn kept his gaze with the fire when I halted before him, seemingly taking no note of my presence. 
His swordbelt lay upon the ground beside him, within easy reach of his hand, and when I took mine and 
laid it by his, his eyes at last came up to my face. 

"You seem to be of the belief that no fey must pass without at least one disobedience," said he, looking 
blankly upon me. "Are you not able to understand that I will not use you-" 

"You seek to make me believe you have no desire for me?" I asked, smiling faintly as I put my dagger 
with my swordbelt, then knelt down before him upon the edge of his pelt. "All males feel desire for Jalav, 
all males use her when they may, and Mehrayn is very much male. Open your arms to me, male, for my 
desire for you will quickly warm all reluctance and foolishness from your body and will . . . . " 

I had put my hand out to stroke the broad strength of his arm, yet the caress and my words were ended 
together when Mehrayn's hands flashed to my arms and pulled me down past him, onto the pelt behind 
where he lay. He twisted about to kneel across me as his hands captured my wrists and held them above 
my head, and surely did I believe that his foolishness was done till I saw the fire-brightened anger upon 
him. 


"Once again are you completely mistaken, wench," he growled, his hands and thighs holding me still 
without giving me pain, his eyes near to burning. "I have said naught about feeling no desire for you, for 
words such as those would be lies. Upon the moment do I feel more desire for you than ever, yet do I 
refuse to use you. Take yourself from me now and do not return, else shall it be a switch rather than a 
rod which you find. In this I will not be disobeyed." 

"Once again are you completely mistaken, wench," he growled, his hands and thighs holding me still 
without giving me pain, his eyes near to burning. "I have said naught about feeling no desire for you, for 
words such as those would be lies. Upon the moment do I feel more desire for you than ever, yet do I 
refuse to use you. Take yourself from me now and do not return, else shall it be a switch rather than a 
rod which you find. In this I will not be disobeyed." 

"Take care that you do not stumble, wench," came the soft voice of Chaldrin from behind me, his bulk 
halting my backward progress. "One must look upon one's path, else is that one likely to become lost." 

I turned to look upon Chaldrin with all of the confusion which spun my head about, clutching my 
weapons to me as though there were one nearby who would take them from me, finding no words to 
express what I felt. In no manner would understanding come to me of that which had occurred, that 
which was so far beyond reason. 

"You appeared less disturbed when still in the capture of the followers of the Oneness," said Chaldrin, his 
tone and eyes gentle as he looked down upon me. "Come to my fur, wench, and perhaps I may assist 
you." 

Had his hand not come to my arm, I might well have remained where I stood for all of the darkness. The 
doings of males most often lack reason, yet never had I seen a doing quite so lacking in reason as 
Mehrayn's. The Summa and Sigurri sat apart from the place where Chaldrin's pelt lay, S'Heernoh saw to 
the balance of the unfed-upon nilno, and Ilvin assisted him. None save Chaldrin and I sat upon his pelt, 
then, and when his hands came to ease my weapons from my grasp, I turned my eyes to his face. 

"It is an illness which has suddenly touched him is it not?" I asked, allowing the swordbelt and dagger to 
be taken as the thought came from the swirling of my mind. It was surely the explanation I had not been 
earlier able to see, yet Chaldrin smiled somewhat and shook his head as he put my weapons aside. 

"There is no illness, wench," said he, his voice as calm and gentle as it had been. "Mehrayn is as hale as 
ever, perhaps even more so. Have you never before been refused by a man?" 

"Never," said I, shaking my head in an attempt to free myself from the confusion which strove to grow 
even stronger. "Among the Midanna, no male would begin to consider refusing a warrior, not to speak of 
a war leader. And when once I began to move through the lands of males, much did it seem that all about 
me strove for my capture and use or, if capture were impossible, then merely the use. All know males will 
ever take the use of what females they may, as often as they may, as often as they are able. All males 
have ever done me so, all males! For what reason would Mehrayn not do the same? Is he no longer 
able?" 

"No, no, wench, you continue to misunderstand," said Chaldrin, his hand coming to smooth my hair. 
"You must not feel that harm has touched him, for it has not. It has simply come to him that further use of 
you by him will bring you pain, and the Sword has no wish to bring you pain; sooner will he keep himself 
from you." 

"Yet what of the memories he will require?" I asked, too deeply upset to put credence in the words 
Chaldrin spoke. No male would deny himself merely to keep pain from a warrior, for most often it was 
they themselves, who brought the pain. "When he lies in Mida's chains, agony and hopelessness all 


through him, he will have naught of memories to warm away the pain! He will have need of those 
memories, Chaldrin, as I had need of them! How may I allow him to refuse me?" 

through him, he will have naught of memories to warm away the pain! He will have need of those 
memories, Chaldrin, as I had need of them! How may I allow him to refuse me?" 

"By trafficking with the gods!" I snarled, pushing away from Chaldrin as the true meaning of what had 
occurred abruptly came to me. Just so easily was the goddess able to take the male from me, and yet not 
take him at all. The fool of a male did her bidding as though he were sworn to her service, all the while 
unknowing! No other than a male would see the refusal of a war leader's willing use as a justifiable thing, 
a noble thing! Again I was to be denied, and again by the hand of Mida-and Mehrayn was to be without 
the warmth of memories. 

"Take another tone when you speak of the gods, wench," said Chaldrin, a growl having entered his voice 
as his eyes narrowed. "Have you not had enough pain through disrespect? Will you court disaster through 
a lack of common sense?" 

"Disaster need not be courted," I grated, rising to my feet to look down at him in the glow of the fire. "It 
comes whenever it wills, just as anger and fury-and awareness of a need to be revenged. There are some 
few about who have not learned to be wary of the vengeance of a Midanna, yet are those few destined 
to be wary of the vengeance of a Midanna, yet are those few destined to some fey learn of it, to their 
sorrow. I shall not speak upon this matter further, nor shall I speak of it again; merely shall I allow it to 
be." 

I took up my weapons and walked from the staring, frowning male, seeking and finding a place upon the 
ground to take my solitary rest. To give challenge to the gods was the act of a fool, yet I no longer had 
patience for the doings of reason. 

Even the gods might toy with a Midanna war leader only so long before that which made her a war 
leader demanded a halt to the constant humiliation. Pain had I been given, even unto agony, yet pain from 
then on would be reckoned as part of vengeance due, the greater the pain, the more to be returned in 
revenge. I lay down upon the ground, stretched at full length, my hand not far from my sword hilt, my 
dagger returned to my leg bands. I would not consider vengeance again till after the strangers had been 
seen to-save were I forced to it by further toying. Should the concern of the gods over the strangers be 
great enough, they would leave me be till I had seen to my tasks; should their concern be less, my life 
would be quickly taken. I looked upon the warm, dark sky above me, seeing only a small part circle of 
Mida's Realm shining there, then closed my eyes, caring little which the gods chose. 

CH 7. A task continues--and the white lend 

My awakening with the new light seemed to indicate that I was to be allowed to continue with my tasks 
without further foolishness, therefore did I begin to do so. The nilno we had might be fed upon as we 
rode and so did I see it done despite the protests of the males. No time was there to work further at 
Chaldrin's battle methods, yet the impatience which held me so strongly in some small way assuaged my 
regret over the loss. The impatience I now saw for what it was---an impatience to be done with the tasks 
of the gods-and no longer attempted to push it from me. It was necessary that I clearly recall what I was 
about, and this would be seen to through that impatience. 

Again the fey was warm as we rode beneath the close green and brown of the forest, and therefore was 
it necessary to keep from over-tiring our mounts despite my impatience. I rode somewhat ahead of our 


set, keeping a calm eye upon where I rode, and after perhaps two hind of traveling Chaldrin brought his 
kan up beside mine. He rode in silence for a number of reckid, also considering the forests, and then 
were his eyes of a sudden upon me. 

set, keeping a calm eye upon where I rode, and after perhaps two hind of traveling Chaldrin brought his 
kan up beside mine. He rode in silence for a number of reckid, also considering the forests, and then 
were his eyes of a sudden upon me. 

"The matter scarcely concerns you, brother," I replied, keeping my eyes from him as I looked about. "I 
will require no sword other than my own when the proper time has come, therefore will you and the 
others be free to go about your own concerns. " 

"I and the others," he echoed. "I and all the others, even Mehrayn?" 

"As he is numbered among the others, aye, even Mehrayn," said I, turning my frown upon Chaldrin to see 
the surprise in the dark of his eyes. "What ails you, male, that you come to me with such foolishness?" 

"Foolishness?" he repeated, indignantly. "You speak of vengeance you mean to take after having been 
refused by Mehrayn, and we are not to believe you mean the Sword? How might we believe otherwise? 
And for what reason do you not hold him culpable? It was he who refused you, was it not?" 

Only by the doings of another, I thought, looking upon the confused vexation of the male beside me. He 
attempted to take up his usual calm to soothe the roiling within him, yet the effort proved useless. 

"The male is free, and was therefore within his rights to refuse me," I informed Chaldrin, the calm that was 
usually his now mine instead. "As for what vengeance I mean to take, that is a matter I have no wish to 
discuss. I was told, was I not, that I had only to say I had no wish to discuss a thing, and I would not be 
pressed?" 

"Yes, I spoke those words," said he, "and yet-" His speech ended and his face worked in agitation. 
Annoyance touched him then, one mixed with deep frustration, and then his head nodded curtly. "Very 
well," said he, giving ground with little grace. "As you have no wish to be questioned, I shall not press 
you. Do you also have no desire to be questioned upon the life sign which now hangs about your throat? 
I had thought its presence disturbed you?" 

"I have come to feel otherwise," I replied with a shrug, turning my face from him as my hand rose to 
touch the crystal hadat. "Also do I feel that the time has come to turn from all dallyings with males. My 
next task is not so far before me that I may continue to befog my mind with foolishness. Should I fail to 
survive, there are others who will fall with me." 

"You bar the door upon your side after another has foolishly closed it in your face," said Chaldrin, his 
voice again calm, his hand suddenly and gently upon my shoulder. "Is this what you truly wish, wench? 
No avenue left open for apology and forgiveness, for realization of the truth and patience rewarded? All 
men are at one time or another foolish, yet Sigurr has blessed them by giving to wenches the capacity for 
great patience and deep understanding. Will you take a man's blessing from him?" 

"Free males, like free warriors, may do and say as they please, freely speaking to the gods of their 
intentions," said I, feeling no distress at Chaldrin's male foolishness. "Warriors have learned to accept the 
consequences of such doings, no matter how distasteful those consequences come to be. Males would 
be wise to learn to do as warriors." 

With a final glance at Chaldrin I kicked my mount into faster motion, ending the discussion and leaving 
the male to his agitation. Ever do males behave so, swearing to do a thing, learning to regret the vow, 
then seeking about to be freed of it by the efforts of another. As Mida so valued the possession of such 


males she was welcome to them; Jalav would seek out none of them, and would thereby come to her 
vengeance with unburdened soul. 

males she was welcome to them; Jalav would seek out none of them, and would thereby come to her 
vengeance with unburdened soul. 

Two further feyd fled past in travel, and with the arrival of the third darkness came the completion of the 
pipe I fashioned, the pipe which would allow me to return to the White Land. With roast lellin and fellin 
tubers filling me to satisfaction, I took both pipe and sack and sat myself beside Chaldrin, feeling the 
pleasure of anticipation. 

"You must know what I do, so that none attempt improper interference," said I to the male who frowned 
upon that which I held. "With the aid of the contents of this sack, my spirit shall journey to a far land, a 
land from which I have heretofore been barred, save for my initial journey there. I know not how long I 
shall journey, yet are you forbidden to attempt drawing me back against my will. There is much to be 
seen in the White Land, and I shall not return till I have looked my fill." 

Chaldrin, still frowning, parted his lips to speak, but another spoke before him. 

"Surely, lady, you have been taught that so prolonged a stay is impossible," said S'Heernoh, halting 
before me with some of what remained of the lellin in his hands. "One of skill may see much in the short 
time one is allotted upon the Snows, yet not so a novice. The time which seems like reckid there is hind 
here, and to spend hind there is to allow one's untenanted flesh here to die from lack of attention. Best 
you remain no more than the allotted time and then return, for many here would mourn your loss. Those 
of us who walk the Snows dislike such restrictions, yet how may mortals disobey the will of the gods?" 

His half-shadowed smile was cordial as he turned from me, to return to packing the lellin for the new 
fey's journey. I stared silently for a long moment, just as Chaldrin did, both of us looking upon the male 
who prepared our provender without complaint. Little had I thought upon the male S'Heernoh save for 
the annoyance he had brought, yet was it now necessary that I consider him more closely. Speaking his 
name turned him to me and a gesture brought him to crouch where he had previously stood, his smile as 
cordial as it had been despite the questioning in it. 

"So you are a Pathfinder," said I to this male who regarded me with amused, dark eyes. "I wonder that 
you did not speak of this sooner." 

"To what purpose?" he asked, spreading his hands as his amusement turned wry. "My store of grains to 
bring the Clouds of Seeing was long since exhausted when we met, for I have been quite some time from 
my people. And among them I am called a Walker, one who prowls the Snows. This is what you term 
'Pathfinder,' is it not? Are you a Pathfinder to your wenches as well as their war leader?" 

"No," I replied, unsure why I continued to mistrust the male. "My warriors have no Pathfinders among 
them, for I am the first to have visited the White Land. In what manner does one know when her allotted 
time upon the Snows has elapsed? Mida's light does not appear in the skies there so that it may be 
tracked." 


"Indeed is there naught save the eternal gray and white," said S'Heernoh, his gaze now growing 
thoughtful. "The awareness of the passage of time upon the Snows is an inner thing, taught a Walker by 
the Walkers who have been themselves taught in such a manner. Have none made the effort to train you 
to self-sufficiency?" 

"Indeed is there naught save the eternal gray and white," said S'Heernoh, his gaze now growing 
thoughtful. "The awareness of the passage of time upon the Snows is an inner thing, taught a Walker by 
the Walkers who have been themselves taught in such a manner. Have none made the effort to train you 
to self-sufficiency?" 

He seemed startled, then amused. "You mistake the situation, wench," said he, clasping his hands before 
his lean body. "All who walk the Snows, man and wench alike, are in their turn conquered by them, not 
the other way about. The Snows show the events which lay before us, the triumphs and defeats, the 
sadness and joys, which we will encounter, even unto our deaths. That which will be cannot be 
conquered." 

"Should I find victory awaiting me, I will not seek to conquer," said I, growing even more eager to begin 
my search. "This and no more will Java give her word upon, for defeat is not acceptable. Will you teach 
me the manner of walking the White Land, or am I to seek the knowledge alone?" 

"War leader, you have my utmost admiration," said this S'Heernoh with much of a chuckle to indicate his 
increased amusement. "Were it possible to conquer the Snows, I have no doubt that the victory would be 
yours. I will be honored to share my modest knowledge with you as quickly as I have completed my 
tasks, which will take no longer than the time required to fill and light your pipe." 

The male then stood straight and returned to the fire, clearly moving with purpose. I lifted the sack and 
pipe, prepared to begin as soon as might be, feeling the eagerness put a small trembling in my hands, and 
Chaldrin stirred where he sat. 

"You mean to go to a place of great danger with none save that weaponless man to stand beside you?" 
he asked, his voice showing his disturbance and also his scorn for the stranger S'Heernoh. "You have 
accepted my presence till now, wench; am I now to be left behind?" 

"Should you find yourself able to accompany me, you may do so," said I in return, sending him no more 
than a glance as I carefully filled my pipe within the sack. "Have you ever been in the midst of the Clouds 
of Seeing?" 

"Aye, I have indeed," said Chaldrin, and truly had his calm soured. "For me, as for all who are not 
Pathfinders, they are the Clouds of Blindness. I fail to see in what manner duty draws you in such an odd 
direction, girl. What will occur should you fail to return?" 

"I will not fail to return," I murmured, paying more mind to filling my pipe without loss of the coarse grains 
than to giving heed to male fretting. "Once before did I walk the Snows, and returned just as I departed. 
Chaldrin merely dislikes being unable to accompany me." 

"Indeed do I dislike the need to remain behind," said he in a growl, his frown clear as I realized that I had 
no flame maker. It would be necessary to borrow from our cooking fire, I saw, yet before I might rise to 
my feet, S'Heernoh turned from the fire and began to approach me, a twig alight in his hand. Again 
Chaldrin growled, this time wordlessly, his eyes upon the male who approached. 

"Should you return alone from your journey," said he to S'Heernoh as I took the twig carefully handed 
me, "do not consider your life, at least, as having been preserved. Either both live or neither will continue, 
for this you have my word." 


"How might I have expected less?" asked S'Heernoh, seeming amused as he sat beside me, away from 
Chaldrin. "Have no fear that I will leave the war leader behind upon the Snows. Do we not both return, it 
will be neither." 

"How might I have expected less?" asked S'Heernoh, seeming amused as he sat beside me, away from 
Chaldrin. "Have no fear that I will leave the war leader behind upon the Snows. Do we not both return, it 
will be neither." 

"What occurs here?" said he, looking narrow-eyed upon pipe and male, one of whom now took deep, 
pleasurable breaths of smoke from the other. "For what reason do you appear so disturbed, Chaldrin?" 

"Our wench goes to walk the Snows with S'Heernoh," said Chaldrin, the disapproval strong in his voice. 
"I have attempted to reason with her, yet to no avail." 

"Ever does a man find difficulty in reasoning with a wench, for there is no reason within one," said 
Mehrayn, his growl much like Chaldrin's. "As there is no conceivable need for her to risk the Snows, she 
will remain behind. Do you hear, wench? You are bound to obey me, and I forbid your walking of the 
Snows." 

Indeed was I able to hear the male, yet only at a seemingly great distance. His form was dark, as was 
Chaldrin's and those of the others who now crowded about, all save S'Heernoh and myself. He and I 
seemed nigh to glowing with the Clouds of Seeing which filled and surrounded us, his movements as slow 
and deliberate as mine. Soft gray began to rise up higher all about us, gathering in S'Heernoh and myself, 
yet did I breathe in a final breath of smoke and smile. 

"The male Mehrayn is free to do as he wills-as is the war leader Jalav," said I, the words coming forth as 
soft and breathy as the growing gray. "Should Mehrayn dislike the doings of Jalav, he may speak his 
displeasure to the gods; they, perhaps, will find interest in such foolishness. Jalav does not." 

Words of greater anger came from Mehrayn, yet were they so far distant that naught intelligible was able 
to reach me. The strength had gone so swiftly from my body that I lay back in the grass as though 
mortally wounded, S'Heernoh beside me, we both unmoving in the growing gray. Deeper and deeper did 
the foggy mist take us, and then was I surrounded by white, once again upon my feet, yet bereft of all 
coverings and weapons. Naught was I able to see in the mist, yet was I in some manner aware of a 
presence close beside me. I looked all about, continuing to see naught, and then was my head filled with 
the strange, voiceless speech of the White Land. 

"Let us move forward, war leader, to where your instruction may begin," said S'Heernoh, for it was his 
voiceless voice which came to me. "Do you mean to seek out whatever you may, or have you specific 
events you wish to study?" 

"I would see the battle with the strangers," said I, mouthing no words, yet somehow replying to the query 
put to me. The effort was filled with greater discomfort than previous, and briefly did I wonder if my 
intent had reached my unseen companion. 

"Then let us search among the paths," came the reply, soothing my wondering and reawakening my 
eagerness. Alone in the white mist I paced slowly forward with the difficulty of motion I had experienced 
before, as though I moved through thick, clinging mud, seeking the end of the mist, and then, as before, 
abruptly stood upon a vast white plain with many tracks proceeding in many directions. Movement to my 
left brought me sight of S'Heernoh, who stood as bare as I. 

"Where now we stand is near to the present, therefore are there fewer branchings," came the voice of my 


companion, warmed by his gentle amusement. "Behind us is what has already been, therefore is there but 
a single path. The branchings ahead at times converge to meet at a single place as well, showing that 
some happenings are not to be avoided no matter the effort, yet is there choice in the greatest portion of 
that-which-will-come-to-be. Save for those few events which are set by doings of the past, the 
happenings of the feyd to come are determined by that which goes just before it." 

companion, warmed by his gentle amusement. "Behind us is what has already been, therefore is there but 
a single path. The branchings ahead at times converge to meet at a single place as well, showing that 
some happenings are not to be avoided no matter the effort, yet is there choice in the greatest portion of 
that-which-will-come-to-be. Save for those few events which are set by doings of the past, the 
happenings of the feyd to come are determined by that which goes just before it." 

"See there," said S'Heernoh, clearly indicating one branching in a manner which left no doubt, despite the 
lack of gesture or near approach. "See you the traces remaining of what-might-have-been? So great was 
its possibility of attaining reality that it continues to cling to visibility even after its defeat and bypassing. It 
is gone now to that nether realm of shall-never-be, yet will it fade only slowly to complete extinction." 

"I am able to see no movement, also is the scene difficult to make out," said I, forcing my step nearer to 
the indicated branching. No mark did my step leave to show my presence in that land, and that, like the 
silent speaking, was somehow unsurprising. "Somewhat am I drawn toward that unfulfilled doing, though 
I know not why." 

"The why of it is easily explained," said S'Heernoh from his place to my left, his mind-voice containing a 
good deal less amusement. "The event is one you were deeply embroiled in, which may be seen by the 
figures frozen in the last of their movements. See you the hadat, clearly female, and the three male sednet 
shapes surrounding her? Had they not been halted, the three would have ended the hadat amid much 
pain, and clearly was such halting no more than the faintest of possibilities. It gives me great pleasure, in 
this instance, to see the faintest become the strongest." 

The grimness in his silent voice brought a great disturbance to me, for he spoke of the time of my recent 
capture by those who had been followers of the Oneness. How close I had been to an end I had not 
known, yet had another known and had taken steps to have it otherwise. Much did I wish to wrap my 
arms about myself as I stared down upon the frozen, fading figures, yet I did not; that which is past and 
done is gone, and that warrior who concerns herself with might-have-been is a fool. What-will-be is ever 
more to the point, for one who means to see her will done. 

"There is little time left for us here," said S'Heernoh from where he had not stirred, calling me back from a 
contemplation of the obvious. "Shall we search for that which you wish to see?" 

"Indeed," said I, slowly turning from the dead branching toward the male, again feeling eagerness flare 
within me. Even were I able to see no more than the forces which would be arrayed against me, victory 
would surely be mine. I raised my head to look beyond S'Heernoh-and frowned at the thick, 
impenetrable mist which rolled toward us from the direction of that which would be. The male, too, 
frowned, then uttered a silent exclamation of surprise. 

"'From whence comes that mist?" he asked, turning all about to seek out the edges of that which rolled 
toward us. "Were you able to see from when it arose?" 

"I saw naught save its abrupt presence," said I, taking a step toward that which rolled silently at us. "May 
we not make our way through it to see that which I must see?" 

"It is-a barrier," said S'Heernoh, backing a step from the approaching mist. "Should we attempt to enter 


it, it will immediately return us from whence we came. Such a barrier rises only rarely, and never have I 
seen one before, no more than heard of it from those who Walked before me. We are not to be allowed 
longer upon the Snows this fey." 

it, it will immediately return us from whence we came. Such a barrier rises only rarely, and never have I 
seen one before, no more than heard of it from those who Walked before me. We are not to be allowed 
longer upon the Snows this fey." 

"So has it ever been," said he, looking upon me with disturbance in the dark of his eyes. "You feel great 
disappointment, I know, yet will there be other times. I would now teach you to know when you must 
return, and the manner of returning itself. Step away from the mist with me, so that we shall not be 
ejected from here before the lesson might be taught. " 

With great reluctance I made myself follow the male who accompanied me, both of us avoiding the track 
of that-which-had-been. When S'Heernoh halted I did the same, and then did silent words reach me 
again. 

"Feel within yourself for a sense of well-being or lack thereof," said he, his eyes full upon me. "Do not 
anticipate which you will feel, merely allow the feeling to reach your awareness." 

The words made little sense, yet did I attempt to do as he had said. It came to me that there was naught 
of bodily feeling about me as I was, and then did I become aware of a sense of distress, faint at the time, 
yet growing stronger with the passing of each racing moment. A pressure of sorts did it seem, drawing 
me in a direction I could not envision. This I spoke of to the male, and he nodded with pleased 
satisfaction. 

"Your deserted body sends you the feeling of distress," said he, "telling you of it, need for your return. 
You must always be aware of the size of that distress; for it is that which will tell you when you must 
return. In order to do so, you have only to close your eyes and allow your spirit to be drawn back. You 
need not be aware of the direction in which you move. Merely close your eyes and allow yourself to be 
drawn back." 

Again I had no true understanding of that which he spoke, yet did I close my eyes and attempt again to 
learn. The pressure I had felt grew greater and greater, pulling and pushing and clinging and thrusting all at 
the same moment, ringing me more and more closely, pushing and pulling the breath from me-and then 
was I aware of the tickling of grass, and the firmness of Mida's ground, and the lingering scent of roast 
lellin, and the cooling of a small breeze in the sultry heat of darkness. My limbs and body were held in a 
familiar lethargy, yet was I able to force my lids open to the sight of many shadows hovering close. 

"Thanks be to Sigurr!" came the voice of Mehrayn, strain underlying its usual strength. "She has returned 
at last and lives again!" 

"And now does S'Heernoh return," said Chaldrin as hands lifted me from the grass to lean upon a hard, 
broad body. "Clearly did he recall my words and allow the wench to return first." 

"I-had no need-of your words," said S'Heernoh with some difficulty, his strength undoubtedly returning as 
slowly as mine. "I would not--have returned-without one who-could not return--alone. She--is now 
able-to return alone." 

"Then you have taught her the skill she requires to find safety in great danger," said Chaldrin, the growl 
gone. "For that you have my thanks, man, and my respect as well. Should you ever require a thing done, 
you have only to speak of it." 

"And I," said Mehrayn, he who now held me to him with such strength. "Again are my thanks yours, 


S'Heernoh, and more than my thanks. My debt to you is very great, and happily shall I some fey pay it." 

S'Heernoh, and more than my thanks. My debt to you is very great, and happily shall I some fey pay it." 

"Indeed is this woman my life," said Mehrayn, his arms again tightening about me. "Though rational 
thought is impossible when I am beside her, life itself is impossible when I am not. I have returned to the 
place I belong, and shall not leave it again. Do you hear my words, wench?" 

The smell of him came to me clearly there in the dark of the forests, and the warmth and strength of his 
body and arms as well. I stirred somewhat against the manner in which I was held, and when the 
movement caused those arms to release me, I sat straight in the grass-and alone. 

"Indeed do I hear the words of the male Mehrayn," said I, pleased that the presence of my life sign 
allowed me to feel naught save a faint annoyance. "Again he seeks the notice of a war leader of Midanna, 
yet does that war leader now have matters of true import to concern her. Go seek another to serve, 
male, for this Midanna wishes naught of you." 

"You are justified in feeling anger toward me," said Mehrayn with much of a sigh, his face wincing yet 
from the coldness of my words. "I would not deny you justified anger, yet would I have you recall that I 
acted from a wish to keep pain from touching you. Am I to be condemned, then, for feeling too great a 
love for she who is my chosen?" 

Steadily did his light eyes look upon me, a reflection of our fire shining brightly therein, and clearly did the 
male mean to bind me with his words. Had my life sign not been upon me it might perhaps have been so, 
yet my life sign was indeed upon me. For a brief moment I returned his gaze as steadily as it was given, 
and then did I rise to my feet. 

"The male Mehrayn is free to do as he wishes," said I, looking down upon the surprise which took him. 
"Jalav, too, is free, and in no manner does she wish the service of a male who is filled so full of the 
foolishness which touches all males. Do not come again to me, male, save that you come with weapon in 
hand. This one is chosen to no other than the gods." 

I turned to walk from him then, needing the movement to take the last of the stiffness from me, yet he 
rose quickly to his feet and halted me with a hand upon my shoulder. 

"That you refuse to hear me is not unexpected," said he, no more than steadiness to be heard in his tone. 
"You seem to forget, however, that the service of their chosen was given me by the gods. Come with me 
to my fur, wench, and I will warm all anger and thoughts of hurt from you. 

"The male Mehrayn may seek service from those who granted it!" I snarled, turning and knocking his 
hand from my shoulder with a movement taught me by Chaldrin. "Should you wish to see the blood flow 
all about, male, approach me again with words such as those! And a war leader of Midanna will not take 
the possession of another till battle has been joined-and survived! We Midanna are not to be likened to 
males!" 

"Battle?" He frowned, immediately distracted from the anger he showed at the manner in which I had 
freed myself. "What battle do you speak of, wench, and who is to be fought over? And what have I told 
you upon the matter of disobedience to the gods?" 


"The battle I speak of concerns none save this Midanna," said I, looking up at the male with little 
approval. "What male I keep to please me will be my decision entirely, else shall I have no need of the 
decision. I will not have any other seek to limit me, and this point will be decided by swords. You, 
however, need not be overly concerned with the outcome of the battle. Even should I win the right to put 
hand to you again, it is scarcely likely that I shall do so. Males find serious decision difficult, I know, yet 
even a child is able to know her own true will. As for disobedience to the gods, mortal males would do 
well to allow those above to voice their own insult--else might their anger fall instead upon he who 
presumes to speak for them." 

"The battle I speak of concerns none save this Midanna," said I, looking up at the male with little 
approval. "What male I keep to please me will be my decision entirely, else shall I have no need of the 
decision. I will not have any other seek to limit me, and this point will be decided by swords. You, 
however, need not be overly concerned with the outcome of the battle. Even should I win the right to put 
hand to you again, it is scarcely likely that I shall do so. Males find serious decision difficult, I know, yet 
even a child is able to know her own true will. As for disobedience to the gods, mortal males would do 
well to allow those above to voice their own insult--else might their anger fall instead upon he who 
presumes to speak for them." 

CH 8. Denial-and an oath to follow 

"I simply do not understand," said S'Heernoh, looking upon the pipe he held, seeing it clearly in the glow 
of our fire. "Never before has such a thing been." 

"I take it from that that you are still unable to reach the Snows," said Mehrayn from where he crouched 
beside the other male. "Are you able to know the reason your spirit and the wench's are unable to attain 
release from your bodies?" 

"Attaining the release of our spirits is not the difficulty," said S'Heernoh, his voice earnest as he looked 
upon Mehrayn. "The Clouds of Seeing take us up as quickly as ever-yet are we immediately hurled back 
to our bodies at the touch of the mist which covers the Snows. We may approach the Snows, yet we 
may not walk them." 

"Nor may we look upon that-which-is-coming-to-be," said I with all the bile which filled me, pulling 
angrily at the grass upon which I sat. "Three times we have tried, and still the numbers and disposition of 
our enemy remains unknown!" 

"War leader, our being barred from the Snows may not be the loss you think it," said S'Heernoh, his 
earnest dark eyes now turned toward me. "Progress through the Snows is a slow and trying thing, for 
ever must one begin his Walk near to the point which is his present. To see that which lies far ahead, one 
must risk being parted from one's body for too long a time. The battle you thought to look upon may well 
have been too far ahead for us to reach." 

"And again it may not have been," said I, not to be soothed as a child too small to take up dagger use. 
"How may we know till we have made the attempt?" 

"One with sense would by now begin to suspect that the gods frown upon such an attempt," said 
Mehrayn, his light eyes seeking to draw mine. "Disobedience to the gods often brings unexpected 
punishments." 

"How long will that mist remain upon the Snows?" said I to S'Heernoh, paying Mehrayn no more mind 
than I had for the six feyd behind us. "How long has it been known to remain?" 


"Never has it been known to remain even as long as it already has," said S'Heernoh, speaking quickly in 
the face of Mehrayn's sudden anger. "At times are certain happenings barred to us all, yet for all of it to 
be barred-! Perhaps it is indeed the will of the gods." 

"Never has it been known to remain even as long as it already has," said S'Heernoh, speaking quickly in 
the face of Mehrayn's sudden anger. "At times are certain happenings barred to us all, yet for all of it to 
be barred-! Perhaps it is indeed the will of the gods." 

"Clearly, then, are you barred by the will of the Snows," said Chaldrin, his words drawing nods of 
agreement from both warriors and Sigurri, who sat not far from him. "There is some-thing which must not 
be looked upon, and surely is it within reach of seeing, else you would not be barred from it. To continue 
your attempt to see that which you are not meant to see would be foolishness, girl." 

"Mida take it, you have the right of it, brother," said I, looking upon Chaldrin with newly uncovered eyes. 
"The doing is close before us, therefore would I find it possible to see it upon the Snows if I were not 
barred from the White Land! What doing might it be, and for what reason am I refused a knowledge of 
it?" 

I rose to my feet to pace with agitation, weakness not touching me at all, for my spirit had not been 
parted long enough from my body. The heat of the fire was no lure in the warmth of the darkness, yet did 
I begin to pace about it. 

"Perhaps it would be unwise for you to consider the point," ventured S'Heernoh from his place in the 
grass. "There are certain events which will not come about should even the least hint of them come to the 
key mover of the sequence. It may well be pain or harm which might be easily avoided with prior 
knowledge, a pain or harm which is utterly necessary to bring about a further key event. Few of us would 
not seek, even unconsciously, to avoid what pain and harm we might, even though we knew that 
acceptance of such was necessary. Even might it be other than pain or harm, pleasure, perhaps, which 
must be accepted, a pleasure which one would forgo if one were to think upon the doing. 
Foreknowledge will negate what is meant to be, and might well cost you a victory in some manner." 

"Mida take it all!" I shouted, then did I turn in great fury and stalk away from those others who rode with 
me, to sit alone. Ever was Jalav to strive without sight in those tasks set to her hand, for sight would 
perhaps smooth the path she rode, and perhaps also bring victory more easily to her grasp. No other 
thing than difficulty was to be her lot, with none about even to raise weapon to in frustration! 

"So it might well be pleasure which you are not to avoid," came the voice of Mehrayn as he halted beside 
me, to look down upon me. "in that event you must remove your life sign once again, so that what comes 
might be properly accepted." 

Had it been my wish to acknowledge the existence of the male, I would easily have pointed out that I 
was to do naught to alter matters as they were, not act to change them. The male saw the point as clearly 
as I, I suspected, therefore did I indeed do naught save turn my back toward him and stretch out upon 
the grass on my side, the more easily to stare into the fire. 

"Had you not replaced that life sign, I would already have taken the anger from you," persisted the male, 
his own frustration clear in his voice. "I have given my word not to interfere with the tasks given you, 
wench, yet was I to have my woman in return. As the time passes without my woman beside me, the 
strength of my vow grows weaker and weaker, soon to be no more. Do as you will, Jalav, for so shall I, 
most especially at the time when my patience is no more." 

Having spoken his annoyance the male then took himself off, leaving me annoyed myself. I cared little 
what the male attempted for he was not mine, yet were his insistences beginning to anger me. Did Mida 


not soon curb him, I would find it necessary to do the thing myself. There were matters of true import 
before me, matters far removed from the foolishness of males, yet Mehrayn refused to see this. Happily 
there was not much trail time ahead before he might be left behind, and that calming thought assisted me 
in finding sleep. 

not soon curb him, I would find it necessary to do the thing myself. There were matters of true import 
before me, matters far removed from the foolishness of males, yet Mehrayn refused to see this. Happily 
there was not much trail time ahead before he might be left behind, and that calming thought assisted me 
in finding sleep. 

The fey came at last when we reached Midanna lands, therefore did Ilvin, the Summa, and I seek out a 
place to halt for our mid-fey meal which would also serve as a camping place for the Hitta and the males. 
Ilvin knew well enough that she might not accompany me, and she had grown to know and have trust in 
the Summa who had become her sisters, and was grimly pleased that they would be beside me. The 
Summa had sworn to stand beside me in any battle which came to be, save against their clan sisters, and 
Ilvin knew the worth of their words. When our meal was done the Summa and I rose to our feet, yet did 
I gesture Chaldrin back as he made to do the same. 

"Our journey together is at an end, brother," said I, seeing the frown which took Chaldrin and the 
surprise of the other males. "From here the Summa and I continue on alone, for there is no place among 
the clans for a male such as you." 

"There had best be a place for me," said Mehrayn before Chaldrin might speak, standing slowly to rest 
one hand upon sword hilt. "If there is not then they shall find the need to make one, for I will not remain 
behind. My sword cannot protect one who is not beside me." 

"And have you forgotten my vow to Sigurr, girl?" asked Chaldrin, also rising to his feet. "Would you have 
me be forsworn?" 

"Were you to accompany me, brother, then would you be forsworn," said I, looking upon Chaldrin 
alone. "You will remain here, and should any come to fetch you save Wedin or Dotil, you will know 
yourself faced by enemies. Bide in peace, Chaldrin, for we are meant to stand together against the 
strangers." 

I turned from the deep upset upon Chaldrin with a gesture to the Summa, and we three began to move 
toward our kand. No more than two steps were gone beneath our feet, however, when it became clear 
that one came behind us. Dotil glanced back in annoyance, then did she voice a very low groan. 

"Wherever you ride, there shall I follow," said Mehrayn, his tone so inflexible that I halted where I was. 
"You may ignore me as you wish, wench, yet do I also do as I wish. When darkness has fallen to end this 
fey, I shall take that life sign from you, and then we shall see how long you are able to continue to ignore 
me." 

The words of the male were more than challenge, yet had I no further anger to waste upon him. Mida 
knew well enough what his presence would mean, and if I were to be ended in such a manner, then so be 
it. The Midanna would have no war leader to take them into battle against the strangers, and all by cause 


of spite. If this was in accordance with the wishes of the goddess, there was naught I might do to change 
it. After no more than the slightest hesitation I again began walking toward my kan, unaware of the fact 
that the Summa no longer paced me till Wedin spoke. 

of spite. If this was in accordance with the wishes of the goddess, there was naught I might do to change 
it. After no more than the slightest hesitation I again began walking toward my kan, unaware of the fact 
that the Summa no longer paced me till Wedin spoke. 

I reached my kan and ran my hands over him, aware of the silence which had fallen behind me. The male 
undoubtedly sought a path about the wall which Wedin had erected, for his often-voiced concern for 
Jalav would become hollow indeed were he to merely brush aside the words of caution given him. He 
would not do other than accompany me, I knew, for he had at last determined to have me again, no 
matter the cost of his appetites. I freed my reins from the bush to which they had been tied and began to 
back my kan from the press of the others, yet was halted again by the voice, not of Mehrayn, but of 
S'Heernoh. 

"You said, 'free male,' lady Wedin," said he, a thoughtfulness to his tone. "Are there men, then, who are 
allowed among your clans, men who are not free? What is done to restrain these men who are not free?" 

"Those males who have begged to follow a warrior are not free," said Wedin, a lack of understanding 
clearly touching her. "They are forbidden weapons, and they must obey the word of she whom they 
follow, else are they slain. No slightest disobedience are they allowed, for they must forgo their own will 
in deference to the will of warriors. With their lives held hostage to their word, what further restraints 
might be necessary?" 

"Then there is the manner in which you might be safely accompanied," said S'Heernoh, the smile of his 
triumph bright as he looked about, yet did Dotil's laughter immediately dim the radiance. 

"You believe a male of our set other than yourself would behave in such a manner?" she asked, also 
looking about at the others. "Few males choose to follow a warrior, for few males have so small a sense 
of self to allow them to obey properly. Males are far too arrogant, S'Heernoh, and these more arrogant 
than any others I have seen. To be brother warriors, yes; to be followers of warriors? Never." 

All of the males seemed to take some small insult at Dotil's amusement, as though they thought 
themselves capable of being followers despite the truth of the words spoken. I sighed without sound at 
such colossal foolishness and gathered my reins to mount, yet was it Chaldrin who this time halted me. 

"Arrogance is a coin I have in the past been taught to spend little of," said he, reaching down to open his 
swordbelt. "As my life has already been dedicated to following a wench, I have only to give up some 
small bit of my pride to see my vow fulfilled. Will I need to continue on without a sword once those 
enemy wenches are yours, girl?" 

I stared upon Chaldrin with narrowed eyes, for surely the male knew not what he said. This former 
leader in the Caverns of the Doomed, he who was foremost among the fighters there, he who took 
females to please him whether they willed it or no, was to follow meekly after a war leader? 

"One who no longer lives has little need of a sword," said I, looking upon the male with scorn. "Think you 
the sisters of the Summa will smile with acceptance upon one who wishes to treat with them as equals? 
Males are less than warriors, considerably less, and so must they conduct themselves when among those 
who have the power and ability to take their lives. Also will there be none to 'take a fancy to your furs,' 
for you will have no furs. No more than the sleeping leather of the warrior who uses you will you have, 


she whom you must serve whether you will it or no. Should your temper be lost your life will soon follow, 
and that I will not allow. Should you wish to obey a war leader, you may do so by remaining here." 

she whom you must serve whether you will it or no. Should your temper be lost your life will soon follow, 
and that I will not allow. Should you wish to obey a war leader, you may do so by remaining here." 

He had stepped forward away from his swordbelt and had folded those massive arms across his broad 
chest, making me know that the word he had given me had not been idly given. Sister he had called me, 
just as I called him brother, and well he knew that I would not leave him to die in the forests. I continued 
to gaze upon the male in silence, disliking the need which had been forced upon me, yet was there naught 
I might do for it. 

"Very well, male," said I at last, nodding coldly, telling him that no longer would he find himself brother to 
me. "As you wish so heartily to follow a war leader she will allow it, yet are you to prepare yourself for 
prompt and absolute obedience. Should you behave in any other manner, it will need to be my sword 
which takes your life. Do you understand the words I speak?" 

"Indeed," said he, losing a deal of the satisfaction which had filled him with the first of my words. "Should 
I do aught to cause my life to be taken, the pain of taking that life will be yours long after my last breath 
has been drawn. I will recall that I have sworn to keep pain from you, and will give you no cause to end 
me." 

"Such is my sincere hope," said I, unable to keep the dryness from my tone. "Males are scarcely of such 
great value that they will be kept no matter their doings. One alone may be used to serve many-if he is 
properly cared for between the times of his use." 

Chaldrin's jaws tightened as I taunted him with a reversal of his own words upon the subject of female 
slaves in the Caverns, yet was he not so great a fool that he protested his indignation aloud. He accepted 
my words in a becoming silence, therefore did I indicate that he and the Summa were to mount up. Just 
as they began moving toward their kand, it was proven that the matter was not yet over and done with. 

"Wait," called Mehrayn, frustration having turned to decision in his eyes. "Where one might go, so might 
another. I, too, wish to follow a war leader." 

His hands opened and removed his swordbelt, then let it fall to the ground as his eyes challenged mine. 
Again did a low-voiced groan come from Dotil, for the male was well-nigh made of arrogance. One such 
as he would never truly follow a warrior, and any Midanna who looked upon him would know this 
without doubt. 

"Go to your knees and bow your head, and say the same again," said I with a snort of ridicule, seeing the 
manner in which the male's head rose in annoyance at such a suggestion. Wide-legged did he stand, with 
shoulders unbowed and red-maned head high, and one such as he was to follow and obey? Far better 
were I to open my own throat upon the instant, and save the enemy clans the effort. 

"Speak seriously and I will obey," snapped Mehrayn, angered that I had turned once more to my kan. 
"Just as you would not obey such a command, neither might I be expected to." 

"The war leader has no need to obey such a command, male," said Wedin when I failed to turn again to 
Mehrayn. "Never has she begged to follow a warrior, the very thing that you insist you do. Are you 
unable to see that she need not coax forth approval of her commands from one who truly follows, before 
obedience might be expected? To follow a warrior, a male must be capable of giving complete, 


unquestioning obedience; this, I think, is beyond you, brother." 

unquestioning obedience; this, I think, is beyond you, brother." 

"I ask to be allowed to follow a war leader," said he, the words as humble as the posture. "So deep is my 
need to do so that I will pledge myself to absolute obedience for the time that I follow her, swearing to 
do only and precisely as I am bidden to do. Should I be refused I will follow without this vow, and stand 
with naked blade against any who attempt to bring harm to that war leader by cause of my presence. No 
other thing than one of these may I do, and I leave it to the war leader to decide between them." 

Again were those light eyes upon me, calmly awaiting what decision I would make, calmly ignoring the 
anger I made no effort to conceal. That the male would follow after, I had no doubt, nor did I doubt the 
fury which would grip the enemy clans at sight of him. To keep the blood from flowing like water it was 
necessary that I accept his vow, yet was my anger not destined to be denied. 

"You may consider your pledge accepted, male," I informed the light-eyed gaze upon me with grim 
pleasure. "You are now no longer free to do as you will, only as I will. Take yourself from your knees 
and find your mount, then follow along behind your betters-in silence. There is much for you to learn, and 
it shall begin immediately." 

Many were the stares which came to me as Mehrayn rose slowly to his feet, his not the least among 
them, yet was a war leader well used to having many eyes upon her. S'Heernoh and the two Sigurri 
males stood silently beside Ilvin the while those who rode with me at long last got themselves mounted, 
yet did it seem that the gray-haired male sought words which might be spoken to me without adding to 
my anger. The sack containing the grains which brought the Clouds of Seeing hung from his belt, for it 
had been my decision that to carry the sack with me was to jeopardize the contents unnecessarily. Far 
better to leave the sack behind me, and again attempt its use when the matter of the enemy clans was 
done. Perhaps then the mist would be gone from the Snows, and Jalav would see what she sought to see. 
Before S'Heernoh found the words to approach me with, I raised a hand to all in farewell, turned my 
kan, and rode from the camp. 

Growing anticipation and anxiety turned the Summa silent during the balance of the fey, my word upon 
the matter doing the same for the males. Anticipation grew within me as well, yet was there more 
determination than anxiety to accompany it. It would be glorious indeed to see all the Midanna ride as 
one, most especially against an enemy which was common to all. It would be wearying to have so many 
more war leaders to command-and be commanded by-yet would the time be for the battle against the 
strangers only. Afterward all would become as it had been, sister Midanna and enemy sister each going 
her own way-directly after the Hosta and Silla were freed. That final doing would also free Jalav, to seek 
out Mida and speak of many things-or possibly to end in the attempt. The thought brought me little 
agitation, no more than pleased anticipation, and so did the fey lower toward darkness in pleased 
contemplation. 

Darkness camp saw three Midanna served by two males who followed them, large and well-made males 
who wore no weapon and made no objection to that which they were commanded to do. Silent were 
these males, for they had not received permission to speak as they would, and somewhat disturbed were 
they that the Midanna they rode with now took no true note of them, as though they were well beneath 
notice. Wedin and Dotil knew well that the only true safety for the males lay in their being no different 
from those other males who followed warriors, therefore did the presence of Mehrayn disturb them 
considerably. The male served with a silence like Chaldrin's, yet was there some manner of difference to 


him. 

him. 

"Perhaps Chaldrin does a thing which he does not," suggested Wedin, attentive to the paslat she fed 
upon. "We will be among the clans mid way through the next fey, war leader. I doubt there is time 
enough to discover the true difficulty." 

"The difficulty is that Chaldrin finds no insult in standing back from the doings of warriors," said I, 
continuing to apply myself to my own provender. "The other feels the need to bring himself to the 
attention of those he serves, a vanity I am familiar with. There is a cure for the thing, one which did well 
with a previous male who followed me, and one it will do little harm to attempt with this one." 

Only then did I allow my eyes to touch Mehrayn where he and Chaldrin crouched, awaiting what further 
service would be required of them, their own provender having been bolted down in anticipation of being 
summoned. A glint of hidden anticipated amusement showed in the eyes of Chaldrin, yet Mehrayn's light 
gaze held only wary unease. 

"Rise and stand before us, male," said I to Mehrayn, my tone no warmer than it should be with one who 
served me with less than satisfaction. In truth I was wont to treat my males with a good deal more 
kindness, yet was Mehrayn of a different ilk than those others who had followed me. Those others had 
not been permitted to force their presence upon me when they were unwanted, yet Mehrayn had done 
no other thing. 

"In future," said I to him who stood looking down upon me, "upon reaching a halting or camping place, 
you will immediately remove your body cloth and put it from you, not to be donned again till our journey 
resumes. You may begin the practice upon the moment, for we have not the time to await the new light." 

"May I speak?" said the male, a tightness to the line of his jaw, a hardness to the look in his eye. 

"Briefly," I acknowledged, taking my eyes from him and returning my attention to my provender. 

"I alone am to do this thing?" he asked, his words uneven despite his attempt at calm. "Chaldrin will not 
be required to do the same?" 

"Chaldrin makes no attempt to present himself with overblown importance," said I about a mouthful, 
seeking around me for the wet cloth which my male had earlier brought. "To serve warriors bare and 
continue to invite their attention is to ask to be used, upon your back and only to the extent that those 
warriors care to use you. Should it not be your wish to be used in such a manner, you will quickly learn 
self-effacement in the presence of those you serve." Then did I raise my eyes and look directly upon him. 
"Need I repeat a command?" 

"No," said the male, growling, his gaze hard upon mine. "The war leader who holds my pledge has no 
need to repeat a command. Much does it seem that you are quite at ease commanding men to your will, 
war leader." 

"I have, in the past, had some experience with such," I replied with a shrug, watching as the male before 
me reluctantly began to obey the command given him. Little effort was needed to remove the black body 
cloth, and then did Mehrayn attempt to stand uncaring before the Summa and myself. He it was who had 
remarked upon the good fortune of Midanna being unencumbered with a sense of body-shame, yet had 
he then been but one bare among many. Now he alone stood so, gazed upon by warriors who grinned 


and murmured in appreciation of his form, his brother male continuing covered, and something of the red 
of the last of Mida's light brightened the tanned skin of him. 

and murmured in appreciation of his form, his brother male continuing covered, and something of the red 
of the last of Mida's light brightened the tanned skin of him. 

"Some small skill," I conceded, noting with amusement that Sigurr's Sword was scarcely pleased to be 
praised so. "I was also told by those Midanna who used him in Bellinard that he was deemed-adequate. 
Do you find interest in him, Dotil?" 

"Indeed," said she, continuing to look upon Mehrayn, the single word spoken in such a manner that the 
male foolishly allowed his gaze to be drawn to hers. For many feyd had Mehrayn kept himself from the 
use of any female, a doing I had little understanding of. That he had at first not wished my use, then had 
not been allowed it, should not have kept him from seeking among the other warriors of our set, yet it 
had. No use at all had the male had, and he one who had great appetites and needs. His gaze touched 
that of Dotil, moved quickly all about her reclining form-then Wedin laughed aloud in great amusement. 

"The male also seems to find interest in you, sister," said she to Dotil, bringing a grin to the face of her 
sister Summa. At once Mehrayn took on a closer resemblance to the dying light of the fey, yet was there 
naught he might do to change or deny his interest. Most evident had that interest grown, so evident that I, 
too, could not keep from chuckling. Wedin attempted to catch the eye of the male as Dotil had, yet did 
he avoid the gaze of both and close his eyes as though in pain. Clearly was it humiliation rather than pain 
that the male felt, a humiliation not often visited upon so doughty a warrior, and Wedin bethought herself 
to give him something of ease. 

"I would have what more there is of this toothsome paslat," said she, glancing toward me as she 
smoothed away her amusement. "I would be grateful, Jalav, if you were to bid your male bring it to me." 

"Certainly, Wedin," said I, nodding in an agreeable fashion, then did I look toward Chaldrin. The 
dark-haired Sigurri male crouched with elbow on thigh and hand rubbing face, striving diligently to keep 
his usual calm from sliding into laughter. Wedin's eyes followed mine and amusement flashed briefly, then 
did she speak again before I might do so. 

"I would have your red-haired male serve me, Jalav," said she, no more than the lightest hint of amused 
reproof evident in her tone. Had she not called Mehrayn brother I might perhaps have felt insult, yet had 
she indeed addressed him so. 

"As you wish, Wedin," said I with an uncaring shrug, seeing that the Summa had not thought through her 
desire to give Mehrayn assistance. "Fetch for the warrior Wedin what paslat remains, male." 

The male nodded shortly and turned from us, taking sight of his humiliation from our view; then he went 
to the fire, not looking at Chaldrin. The second male continued in his calm crouch, also looking not upon 
he who avoided his eye, his face now serene as it had not earlier been. A brief moment did it take for the 
last pieces of paslat to be gathered, and then had Mehrayn returned with them to Wedin. He stood 
before her, unthinkingly leaning down to offer the paslat, and Dotil's laughter pealed out to echo 
throughout the forest. 

"Indeed a toothsome choice, sister," said she to a Wedin who sighed with defeat at the manner in which 
Mehrayn flinched and immediately straightened himself. "What hunger you have must surely dictate that 
choice, nor will it be easy. The hungers of a warrior are never easily seen to." 

"It seems I erred in suggesting this solution to the difficulty the male gave," said I, smiling at Dotil's 
amusement. "He has not only not given over his previous actions, he now presents himself in an even 


more forward manner." 

more forward manner." 

"It is my sincere hope that the war leader I follow has found a great deal of amused enjoyment," said he 
who was called Sigurr's Sword, his voice soft. "Come the fey my word no longer binds me, she will find 
a great need for memories of enjoyment." 

The darkness had fallen too close about us for his features to be easily seen, yet had I no more need for 
seeing them than did Chaldrin. The white-clad Sigurri had known of Mehrayn's anger even before it was 
voiced, yet I, unlike him, felt little disturbance over it. 

"Have you at last found a reason to give me the challenge, male?" I asked, leaning down to one elbow in 
the grass so that my comfort might be increased. "Humiliation is a strong goad toward that end, is it not? 
Should it be your choice then to give me the challenge I will not refuse you, yet do you now continue 
bound by a vow of obedience-and have spoken without permission. See to the balance of your tasks 
quickly, the while I consider what punishment is to be yours." 

For a long moment the male stood unmoving, seemingly wishing to speak again, yet had he been 
commanded to silence. The need for obedience was a greater stone in his throat than he had anticipated 
it would be, so great that it well-nigh choked him before he turned and took himself to his tasks with 
frustration-stiffened movements. The remains of our repast needed seeing to, and this he began even 
before Chaldrin rose from his crouch to assist him. 

"Should you continue to cause anger in him, Jalav, he will not learn," said Wedin in a soft voice, having 
put aside the paslat she had not truly wanted. "As he accompanies us solely to stand in your cause, it 
would be less than honorable to allow his life to be lost by cause of your need for turnabout. Do you truly 
mean to give him punishment?" 

"He accompanies me by cause of his own stubbornness, Wedin," I returned with some annoyance. "The 
cause he stands in is his own, as ever it has been, and much has he earned a taste of turnabout. As for the 
matter of punishment, his arrogance needs taking down a bit. Did he follow you, would you allow him to 
speak as he did to me?" 

The dark-haired Summa warrior turned her part-shadowy, part fire-lit face from me, choosing to remain 
silent rather than speak against the one she had called brother. Well did she know that she would not 
have permitted such a liberty with a male who followed her, yet had she accepted Mehrayn as warrior 
rather than male, much as I had done with Chaldrin. That I spoiled Chaldrin far less than she attempted to 
do with Mehrayn was not a matter which might be pointed out to her; a warrior treated with other 
warriors as she willed, allowing them liberties if that was her desire; a war leader required respect and 
obedience from those about her, else was she useless to her clan, both in battle and in peace. It was not 
possible that I overlook Mehrayn's insolence, nor would I have done so even had it been possible. After 
having forced himself upon me, it was no more than male idiocy to believe he would not be made to 
regret the doing. 

Though Wedin looked only upon the fire, Dotil's gaze rested directly upon me, her shadowed eyes asking 
a silent question. I had no need to see her to know the question she asked, for I had expected the 
request. I nodded once, with a smile, and saw that smile reflected upon Dotil's face before she turned her 
attention toward the two males who labored by the fire. The question of Mehrayn's punishment would 
require some thinking upon, and best would be to keep the male occupied the while, learning to do as he 


must do among the clans. I, too, looked toward the males, waiting for their tasks to be completed. 

must do among the clans. I, too, looked toward the males, waiting for their tasks to be completed. 

"First watch this darkness is mine," said I, looking at the two as I loosened my sword in its scabbard. 
"Those who are unarmed stand no watches, even were they permitted to do such a thing under other 
circumstances. Best we seek our rest as quickly as possible, for the new fey will bring much to occupy 
us. " 

Chaldrin nodded with calm acceptance as he looked down upon me, more so than Mehrayn who, though 
he also accepted my words, nevertheless was not pleased with them. Sigurr's Sword then began to turn 
from me, most likely to seek a place to take his rest, however Chaldrin remained where he was, 
apparently suspecting that there was more to come. I smiled at the perceptiveness of the male, then 
nodded my head. 

"You, Chaldrin, will serve the warrior Wedin this darkness, obeying her as you would me," said I, 
sending approval to him with the smile. Mehrayn's attention returned to me immediately, therefore did I 
look upon him with considerably less approval. "You, male, will serve the warrior Dotil," said I, watching 
him closely. "You will give her all the pleasure you are capable of giving, and will obey her as you are 
bound to obey me. Are my instructions clear to you?" 

"Aye, completely clear," growled the male, hands closed into fists at his sides. "And who is to serve the 
war leader?" 

"The war leader desires no service," said I, touching my life sign as a faint smile came to me. It disturbed 
the male that I had no desire for him, yet was I greatly pleased by the circumstance. Best indeed was it 
for a warrior to keep herself from males, most especially ones such as Mehrayn. "As for the matter of 
your punishment," I continued, "we will see to it with the new light. I would not have you made unable to 
perform properly for the warrior who desires you." 

"Ah, of course," said he, nodding with understanding as his great arms folded themselves across his chest. 
"It would be inconsiderate to allow my punishment to interfere with the duties given me. Accept my 
thanks for your consideration, war leader, and be assured that I shall serve the warrior Dotil to the very 
best of my abilities." 

The nod he sent to me was more than cordial, and then had he turned from me to make his way toward 
Dotil, not far from where Chaldrin already began seating himself beside Wedin. Much did it seem that his 
words called for a reply, yet was I unable to conceive of what that reply should be. With some very faint, 
unexpected disturbance I turned from them all and began to move about the camp, a disturbance the 
following hind did naught to clarify nor dispel. The darkness dragged on a very long time, most especially 
after Dotil screamed with pleasure. 

CH 9. The enemy clans-and trials to be faced 

"It would perhaps be best if we halted now to take our mid-fey meal," said Wedin, wiping at the moisture 
which beaded her brow despite the cool of numberless leaves above us. "The visiting place is not many 
reckid ahead, and another opportunity might well be disallowed us by the outlying sentries." 


"You may well be correct," said I, pulling my kan to a halt beside hers. Her gaze moved no place save 
with the forests all about us, as did mine, yet was I well aware of the location of her true concern. 
Mehrayn rode with Chaldrin behind us, and he whom she called brother was in considerable distress, as 
he had been since the beginning of that fey's journey. With the new light I had seen him receive the 
punishment I had decreed for him, the punishment for insolence which he more than merited. 

"You may well be correct," said I, pulling my kan to a halt beside hers. Her gaze moved no place save 
with the forests all about us, as did mine, yet was I well aware of the location of her true concern. 
Mehrayn rode with Chaldrin behind us, and he whom she called brother was in considerable distress, as 
he had been since the beginning of that fey's journey. With the new light I had seen him receive the 
punishment I had decreed for him, the punishment for insolence which he more than merited. 

"Perhaps Mida feels that this overcast heat will in some manner aid us," said I with a shrug. "Very well, let 
us dismount till we have taken our meal." 

The two Summa dismounted quickly, yet did a glance back show that Mehrayn had acted with even 
greater speed. Chaldrin looked upon him covertly with much sympathetic feeling in his dark eyes, yet 
when that gaze came to me it contained a good deal of reproach. No words were spoken by Chaldrin, 
yet did he look upon me with accusation, for having commanded what I had, and for having commanded 
his own involvement. Early that fey I had had Mehrayn cut and trim a switch, then had I had Chaldrin 
beat him, in the manner that Mehrayn had last beaten me. The dark-haired male had not stinted on the 
strength of his blows, and then had it been necessary for Mehrayn to place his punishment directly upon 
the back of his mount. The ride till then had been painful and humiliating for him, as evidenced by his 
flushed countenance and stiff, slow movements. It was to be hoped that the male had in some manner 
learned from the pain and humiliation, both in regard to the use of insolence and the giving of humiliation 
to others, yet was the hope faint and unlikely in the extreme. Males learned slowly, if at all, and Mehrayn 
was, without the slightest doubt, male. 

Our provender, prepared by the males before the new light, was fed upon quickly and quietly, with little 
more than single words from the Summa and myself. The matrig was set out before us and we each fed 
upon what tempted us, yet despite the wish of the two warriors with me for the halt to feed, little tempted 
them. They each looked down upon their provender rather than consuming it, deeply lost within 
themselves, disturbed over the visiting place we neared. Again and again had Wedin attempted to suggest 
that I allow her and Dotil to approach the war leaders of the clans alone, the purpose being that they 
would strive to ease the way for my appearance, thereby perhaps avoiding what might well come to 
immediate death for me. That I had refused to hear such a suggestion gave both Summa great upset, yet 
there was naught else I might do. The task of uniting all the clans was mine, given me by Mida herself; 
were I to delegate the task to others, would the wrath of the goddess not then be assured? How might 
victory be found in such a circumstance, with Mida's anger turning all to ashes? No, the task continued to 
be mine alone, no matter the near certainty of the reception I would receive. 

"Your confidence is not as great as you would have us believe, is it, girl?" came the voice of Chaldrin, 
interrupting my thought. The male crouched close before me, speaking softly, unheard by any other save 
myself. Wedin and Dotil had gone to see to their kand, a departure I had not even been aware of. 

"My task will be successfully completed," I replied in a mutter, throwing from me the matrig I no longer 
wished. The grass I sat upon stuck to my thighs and legs, and much would I have joyed in the presence 
of a stream just then. "To believe otherwise would be to believe that Mida's chosen has been poorly 
chosen indeed." 

"Your goddess's chosen has triumphed before, yet not without pain and great difficulty," said he, 
continuing to look upon me though I avoided his gaze. "Will you need to face and withstand such things 
again?" 


"Was the uniting of enemies among the Midanna easily seen to, it would have been done much the 
sooner," said I, giving him the sole answer I wished to give. Still was I loathe to meet his eyes, and this he 
understood as well as that which I had left unspoken. 

"Was the uniting of enemies among the Midanna easily seen to, it would have been done much the 
sooner," said I, giving him the sole answer I wished to give. Still was I loathe to meet his eyes, and this he 
understood as well as that which I had left unspoken. 

It was surely the warmth of the fey which brought greater heat to my cheeks, accompanying a sense of 
dismay that the male had so easily seen my intentions. As Ceralt had once done, so had I attempted to 
do, yet Chaldrin had known of the thing without overhearing the words of truth. He looked directly upon 
me with something of anger in the dark of his eyes, then nodded his head. 

"I see you did indeed consider us in so flattering a manner," said he, his tone softly serious. "We were to 
greet the death of an unfeeling tyrant with great joy, then were we to return to our former lives with no 
further thought given to her, for we would have been avenged. I know not what Mehrayn means to give 
you for what has been done to him, yet do I know what you shall have from my hands when this task of 
yours has been seen to. I have given my word to stand beside you the while life remains to us, girl, but 
you may not brush aside my wishes as though they were unimportant. Perhaps best would be that you 
hope those savage wenches end you; do we both survive, you will find a suitable punishment for the 
thoughtless doings of an 'unfeeling tyrant.' " 

"You believe I have naught to think upon save the rantings of a male with wounded pride?" I asked, 
pushing his hand from my face with impatience. "Should you wish to be revenged upon me, Chaldrin, you 
must wait till many others have first taken their vengeance. As for the male Mehrayn, he may speak of his 
displeasure to she who has claimed him through his own efforts. I am not that one." 

"Sigurr's Sword will speak of his displeasure with the one who brought it to him," said Chaldrin, 
crouching close to prevent my rising from the grass. "We neither of us know the reason you continue to 
insist that he has been claimed by the goddess; we know only that it is he who means to claim you, no 
matter the difficulty he finds in the doing. His fury now rides so high that it is barely containable, and wise 
would you be, wench, to consider his wounded pride. He cares little for having been done in such a 
manner for the sake of uncalled-for jealousy. " 

I could only respond with puzzlement. Ever do males speak so, with their meaning well hidden, so that a 
warrior must feel continually at a loss. 

"For what reason must you be so like other males, and do naught save babble?" I asked of Chaldrin, 
touched well with annoyance. "To understand the nonsense you speak, one must also be male which, 
thanks be to Mida, I am not." 

"You fail to avoid my gaze in guilt," observed Chaldrin, his tone now musing. "Can it truly be that you, 
yourself, are unaware of the jealousy you feel?" 

"How may one feel a thing one has no knowledge of!" I snapped, truly losing patience with the fool of a 
male. "What of that male's am I this time accused of coveting?" 

"Softly," cautioned Chaldrin with a small gesture, disallowing his gaze to move about us. "We know not 
who might at this very moment be observing us, and for that reason do I rather than Mehrayn speak with 
you. We do not accuse you of coveting some ability of the Sword, but of coveting the man himself. We 
believe that had he used Dotil and given her no more than small pleasure, you would surely have found 
another punishment for him in place of that which he was given. The punishment was not for insolence, as 


you announced, but for daring to give another what was by right yours. It was for his full, anger-induced 
obedience for which he was humiliated so, obedience to a command which you, yourself, petulantly gave 
him. Only jealousy can account for it." 

you announced, but for daring to give another what was by right yours. It was for his full, anger-induced 
obedience for which he was humiliated so, obedience to a command which you, yourself, petulantly gave 
him. Only jealousy can account for it." 

"I am to be of the opinion that there is a limit to the use of a male?" I asked, beginning to be taken by 
chuckling. "That once this limit has been reached, he may never again be used? That to allow his use by 
another warrior is to reach this limit sooner? That it would have pleased me more to have the male 
forsworn, doing other than that which he had been commanded to do? Truly do I regret not having 
known you sooner, brother. Your ability to bring me heart-lightening laughter is equalled by none I have 
ever met." 

"Do not think to put me off with forced amusement, wench," snapped he. "I have told the Sword what I 
believe to be the truth, and once told, he believes as I do. You wish Mehrayn for your own, and no other 
thing save stubbornness keeps you from his side." 

"Indeed?" said I, continuing to chuckle as I rose to my feet despite Chaldrin's nearness, "This is the truth 
you have seen and have shared with your brother male? Then perhaps you will be good enough to share 
an additional truth with him." I leaned down to put my lips near to Chaldrin's ear. "He who gave his vow 
to follow and obey me has not removed his body cloth as previously bidden. Although the omission was 
surely caused by his wish to keep hidden the humiliation which is his, he had nevertheless disobeyed me. 
You may inform him that there will be additional punishment for that disobedience." 

"You cannot seriously mean to anger him further!" hissed Chaldrin, rising from his crouch to look down 
upon me with painful disbelief. "No man would be so mindless as to do such a thing, yet you, wench, 
show not the slightest hesitation! The Sword will not be forsworn, yet afterward . . . . " 

"First there must be a beginning before there is an afterward," said I, disallowing the balance of his 
words. "For now I am the war leader whom you follow and obey, therefore shall you be silent and see to 
the clearing away of that which is no longer desired by my warriors and myself. The end of our journey is 
before us, and I would reach it as soon as may be." 

Chaldrin drew himself up angrily, yet not a sound passed his lips. Much did he wish to speak further, I 
saw, yet had he been commanded to silence by she whom he followed. I held his gaze till he turned stiffly 
away to do my bidding, then smiled faintly as I took myself to where Wedin and Dotil stood awaiting 
me. 

"He obeys with reluctance, yet does he obey," observed Wedin, looking upon naught save my smile. "I 
give thanks to Mida that his word is able to hold him." 

"Most especially at this time," said Dotil with a worried sigh. "We are now unable to offer you our 
assistance, Jalav, yet do we mean to continue to stand with you." 

"Best you stand well to one side with the males behind you," said I, widening my smile in thanks to her. 
"As it is soon to begin, I would have you away from the path of danger, and the males firmly out from 
under foot." 


"The males do well ignoring the manner in which they are being observed," said Dotil, glancing to where 
the two Sigurri saw to their tasks. "One would believe they were unaware of those who now surround 
us." 

"The males do well ignoring the manner in which they are being observed," said Dotil, glancing to where 
the two Sigurri saw to their tasks. "One would believe they were unaware of those who now surround 
us." 

"And that despite the mention made by Chaldrin that we knew not who might now be observing us," said 
I to a Dotil who attempted to swallow her stricken look. "Even then were the warriors moving to 
surround us, yet the male saw and heard naught of them. Do you doubt that they are as helpless as babes 
in the forests?" 

"How might one doubt?" asked Dotil, again heaving a sigh. "The thing is so often made clear . . . What 
are we to do now, Jalav? Are we to be as the males and see naught?" 

"And lose standing in the eyes of those who watch?" I asked, noting Wedin's faint amusement. "Best we 
acknowledge their presence at once, showing we neither seek to hide ourselves nor fear to face them." 

"Never have I felt such reluctance to face sister Midanna," muttered Dotil, straightening where she stood 
as her left palm caressed her sword hilt. "Also is it true that never before have I faced them with an 
enemy war leader beside me and two nearly uncontrolled male warriors behind, and yet-Ah, Mida! How 
truly fortunate is the warrior who is able to meet all which comes to her with no concern other than the 
sword she grasps!" 

"How truly fortunate is she who is not the chosen of the goddess," said Wedin, her hand to her life sign, a 
look of commiseration in her eyes. "I believe there are Summa among those who have found us, Jalav. 
Which of us is to address them?" 

"You may do so, Wedin, after I have addressed the humble, obedient males who follow me," said I, 
finding a sigh within me much like those which had touched Dotil. "Should they forget their vows, we are 
all done. Should they recall and hold to those vows, they are to be absolutely forbidden to come to my 
aid no matter the circumstances, no matter how greatly they sire it. I ask of you no other thing than 
that-and their safe removal from the visiting place, should I be unable to see to the matter my own self." 

"I will see to it, Jalav," said Wedin, a sadness upon her and Dotil. Much did it seem that we all of us 
contemplated defeat rather than victory, therefore did I turn from them and walk a small number of steps 
toward the males. It is truly said that one often receives that which one most often expects, therefore is a 
warrior wise to keep her thoughts and anticipations with victory alone. 

"You males!" I snapped, bringing the startled attention of Chaldrin and Mehrayn to me. "To your knees, 
and quickly, and do not rise again till bidden to it by a warrior!" 

Much did I look upon them as I was wont to look upon those males who had, from time to time, 
followed me, that is to say, as a war leader upon an unarmed male who merely follows, himself 
commanding naught. The two continued to be held by startlement, yet did they both go to their knees as 
ordered. Had they not, I would likely have clubbed them down with my dagger hilt; this, I believe, they 
were able to see in my eyes, a thing which contributed much to their surprised lack of understanding. 
Once the males were as I wished them, I turned back to the Summa who accompanied me, folded my 
arms beneath my life sign, and nodded to Wedin. That warrior stepped forward with a faint smile, then 
addressed the trees and bushes all about us. 


"We give you greetings, sisters," said she, her voice raised so that it might be readily heard by those who 
had found us. "Come forth now in peace, for we bring one who rides in Mida's name." 

"We give you greetings, sisters," said she, her voice raised so that it might be readily heard by those who 
had found us. "Come forth now in peace, for we bring one who rides in Mida's name." 

"All here ride in the name of Mida," said she to Wedin, a matching coldness in her tone, her gaze held 
firm to the stranger in their midst. "For what reason do Summa bring an interloper among us?" 

"For the reason that Mida has sent her to us," said Wedin, angered by the manner of the Selga, yet 
unwilling to allow her anger full rein. "This is Jalav, once war leader to the Hosta, now war leader to all of 
her clans. She comes to speak with us on behalf of Mida herself." 

"Indeed," murmured the Selga, her cold gaze faintly warming, her visage lightening. "War leader to the 
Hosta and all of her clans, you say. This rain-filled visiting now promises amusement beyond all which 
have gone before." 

"She is a guest of the Summa, and therefore of the other clans as well!" snapped Wedin, taking a short 
step toward the other. "You cannot treat with her as though she were . . . " 

"An enemy?" demanded the Selga, taking her eyes from me at last to send matching anger to Wedin. 
"What other thing might the war leader of our enemies be? And in what manner might she be a guest of 
the Summa, when the Summa war leader has spoken naught upon the expectation of her arrival? When 
your war leader is asked of this one, Summa, what will be her reply?" 

"Our war leader was not present when Jalav freed us from the capture of males!" said Dotil, speaking 
quickly when Wedin did not. Dark-haired Wedin stood with deep anger all through her, the restraining 
hand of Dotil upon her shoulder likely the sole thing holding her from giving challenge to the Selga. 
"Honor demands . . . ." 

"You guide enemies to our place of visiting, and dare to speak of honor?" interrupted the Selga, hearing 
naught of Dotil's opening words. Indeed did the Selga appear to be of the sort who heard naught save 
that which they wished to hear, the sort who self-importantly found naught save their own will in all 
matters. "What honor is there in turning one's back upon sisters to speak in defense of enemies? To stand 
with enemies? To. . . ." 

"None here save you name me enemy, Selga," said I, and the dark eyes which blazed so at Wedin and 
Dotil quickly returned to me. "It is not as an enemy that I have come, yet would it be dishonorable to 
refuse a challenge earnestly given. Should the burning within you allow you no other recourse, I will, with 
the reluctance of a guest, face you." 

I continued to stand wide-legged as I had since just before their appearance, my arms folded below my 
life sign, hands well away from sword and dagger hilt, an indication that I meant to conduct our 
discussion without battle. The eyes of the Selga quickly took me in once again, fleetingly touching 
weapons, life sign, and a height greater than any other warrior there, and surely did memory return to her 
that I was war leader to not one clan but ten. No more than a brief moistening of lips did I see, enough to 
know that the Selga would not allow her enmity to be put aside by my blade, and then was the thought 
fully confirmed. 


"The place is not ours to give challenge to one who claims to be no enemy when shafts and points 
surround her," rasped the Selga, her fist closing even more tightly upon the hilt of the sword she held. 
"Our duty is to take in capture any who attempt to disturb the visiting, and this we have done. What 
follows must be at the bidding of our war leaders, who will issue or accept challenge of their own. Should 
they name you guest, Hosta, you will have words of apology from us; till then you are our captive." 

"The place is not ours to give challenge to one who claims to be no enemy when shafts and points 
surround her," rasped the Selga, her fist closing even more tightly upon the hilt of the sword she held. 
"Our duty is to take in capture any who attempt to disturb the visiting, and this we have done. What 
follows must be at the bidding of our war leaders, who will issue or accept challenge of their own. Should 
they name you guest, Hosta, you will have words of apology from us; till then you are our captive." 

"Not quite at once," said the Selga, turning her head from Wedin to eye me once again. "This captive 
must first be properly prepared, else shall the war leaders be greatly angered with us. A war leader of 
enemy Midanna must be treated with the respect due her rank." 

With a gesture did the Selga summon those warriors who stood behind me, who were quick to obey the 
one who spoke for them all. My arms did no more than begin to unfold, when my back felt the presence 
of a spear point parting my hair. Sharp was that spear point, and entirely unwavering, showing the 
readiness of the warrior who held it to plunge it speedily through me. Before I was able to do more than 
consider the only-just-learned response of whirling away and striking aside the spear taught me by 
Chaldrin, four warriors had taken my arms, thrust me to my knees, and held my wrists behind me for 
immediate binding by a fifth. Truly had Chaldrin been correct when he had said that to hesitate at the 
onset of attack is to give victory to one's opponents! One must indeed enter into unarmed battle without 
thought, merely responding to that which is done, leaving thought for activities of leisure! My hesitation 
had cost me my freedom, a thing I had not intended giving up before facing the assembled war leaders. A 
bound captive is seldom listened to with the attentiveness given an armed, unbound warrior, a thing the 
grimly pleased Selga was aware of. 

With the leather knotted tightly about my wrists and a thong tied between my ankles, I was pulled from 
my knees to stand upright once more. The hand of Summa warriors had taken no part in my binding, for 
they had been fully engrossed in keeping Wedin and Dotil from coming to my aid. Stern whispers of 
admonishment would have done little to keep my two new sisters from my side, yet had they also been 
held by unyielding grips and had had their swords taken. I looked upon the Selga who now approached 
me, with the fury I felt so strongly, yet was she uncaring of the fury of one who stood in her capture. With 
her own sword sheathed she reached to my swordbelt and removed it, then bent to take the dagger from 
my leg bands. 

"Considerably more proper," said she as she straightened, something of a smile for my anger. "Where are 
your clan colors, war leader of the Hosta? Have you forsaken them and the sisters who followed you, for 
the greater glory of leadership of all of your clans? How pleased those warriors must be, to follow one 
who forsakes her own in order to achieve personal advancement." 

"Do not speak upon matters you have no knowledge of, Selga," I growled, looking down upon her as my 
arms tested the strength of the leather which bound me. "The Hosta were no more abandoned by me 
than were my clan colors, nor has my position aught to do with personal advancement. When Mida 
speaks, a Midanna can only obey." 

"Ah, I see," said she, nodding solemnly as she looked up into my eyes. "It was Mida herself who 
demanded that you abandon your own and seek greater glory. Upon occasion have one or two among 
our own clans put forth such an insistence, yet were we able, despite their protests, to see the truth 
behind such doings and speech. Mida willing, our war leaders will see the same again. To whom do those 
males belong?" 


Her eyes went past me, and when I turned I, too, saw the males I had nearly forgotten. Both Chaldrin 
and Mehrayn remained upon their knees, four warriors just beyond them, two with bows, two with 
spears. Well aware of those warriors were the males, and perhaps for that reason was there no indication 
about them that they considered the disobedience of interference. The look of the Selga had contained 
considerable interest, as did the gazes of each warrior who was unconcerned enough with other matters 
to look upon them, and this, too, were the males aware of. Much did it seem that the interest they drew 
did more than the presence of ready weapons to bring about an earnest attempt at self-effacement by the 
two, and this estimation was able to bring a faint smile to my lips despite the sobriety of the balance of the 
happenings about me. 

Her eyes went past me, and when I turned I, too, saw the males I had nearly forgotten. Both Chaldrin 
and Mehrayn remained upon their knees, four warriors just beyond them, two with bows, two with 
spears. Well aware of those warriors were the males, and perhaps for that reason was there no indication 
about them that they considered the disobedience of interference. The look of the Selga had contained 
considerable interest, as did the gazes of each warrior who was unconcerned enough with other matters 
to look upon them, and this, too, were the males aware of. Much did it seem that the interest they drew 
did more than the presence of ready weapons to bring about an earnest attempt at self-effacement by the 
two, and this estimation was able to bring a faint smile to my lips despite the sobriety of the balance of the 
happenings about me. 

"They will learn to obey whatever warrior commands them," said the Selga with a sound of her own 
disdain, drawing the eyes of the males from me. For an instant did the two Sigurri allow rebellion to show 
in those eyes at her words, a thing which brought amusement to all who looked upon them and approval 
to the Selga. "It pleases me to see that they are spirited," said she, nodding somewhat at the stubbornness 
the males attempted unsuccessfully to mask. "Taking the fire from a foolish male brings half the pleasure 
to be had from one. Bring them along as well." 

Spears urged Chaldrin and Mehrayn to their feet, matching touches to the one which was given me by the 
Sedda behind me. I turned my attention from the hum of approval which arose at sight of the full size of 
the two males, and gave it to the chore of walking without destroying what little balance was left me by 
the leather thong tied between my ankles. The Selga led the way from our halting place, two Sarra saw to 
our kand, and Wedin and Dotil were kept by their sister Summa well away from the bound interloper in 
their midst. 

The walk to where the tents had been erected for the visiting was longer and more difficult by cause of 
the leather upon me, the effort I was forced to bringing a heavy sheen of sweat to my body even before 
we passed the lone abandoned wooden dwelling which stood not far from where the Summa, the males, 
and I had halted. The dwelling seemed odd where it stood surrounded by naught save the forests, yet 
was the sight of it also familiar from those few similar sights to be found upon the lands claimed by my 
own clans. From time to time did city males attempt to take for their own the seemingly unused lands of 
Midanna warriors, their intention being to kill the forests which fed us all, and put in its place those lines 
of plantings which fed no more than those of the cities. Herds of tame beasts were also meant to be run 
by these males, beasts which tasted of the unending captivity which was theirs. In no manner would 
Midanna allow the forests to be destroyed by those of the cities, therefore were the males removed from 
our lands as quickly as they were found. Some few found the time to first erect a dwelling, yet were they 
ever denied the time to become accustomed to that dwelling. 

At last did the forests open upon a large meadow, one which contained the tents of those who had come 
to the visiting. Beneath the lowering dark skies which seemed to press down the heat upon all beneath 
them were the colored visiting tents of Midanna, the white of the Sarra, the orange of the Samma, the 
violet of the Sarda, the brown of the Sedda, the yellow of the Sonna, the gold of the Selga, the rose of 
the Sidda, the blue of the Summa, and the green of the Simma. Only the red of the Silla was not to be 
found, just as the green of the Hosta would be absent from a visiting of my own clans, and thought of the 
Hosta was again an illness within me. Perhaps, were the clans unable to ride to their rescue, Mida would 
take pity upon those who once rode in her name, and allow them the freedom of death. 


The inner ring of tents were those of the war leaders, surrounding a large open space in the midst of 
which stood the tent of the Keeper of their clans, a tent which comprised all the colors of all the clans of 
their grouping. Rilas, Keeper of our own clans of Midanna, had told me of the choosing of a new Keeper 
for the enemy clans, one who had not long before been a warrior. Ennat, who had been of the Sidda, 
was not known to me, and the sight of her tent brought apprehension. The war leaders of the nine visiting 
clans would be within that tent, for the Selga who led us took no other place as her destination. Eager 
was the Selga to reach that destination, and at her command was the spear point applied even more 
vigorously to my back, so that my steps, too, would be hastened. The touch of sharpened metal in my 
flesh was no sensation of pleasure, and bound and disarmed as I was, my capture could not be 
denied-yet was I not of a mind to be hurried as though I were captive male or city slave-woman. Despite 
the abrupt presence of moisture other than sweat upon my back, my pace remained as it had been, filled 
with some modicum of dignity. The Selga looked upon me with fury in her eyes, her lips moved briefly 
without sound, and then did she turn and run on ahead, unable to wait longer to speak the news she 
brought. 

The inner ring of tents were those of the war leaders, surrounding a large open space in the midst of 
which stood the tent of the Keeper of their clans, a tent which comprised all the colors of all the clans of 
their grouping. Rilas, Keeper of our own clans of Midanna, had told me of the choosing of a new Keeper 
for the enemy clans, one who had not long before been a warrior. Ennat, who had been of the Sidda, 
was not known to me, and the sight of her tent brought apprehension. The war leaders of the nine visiting 
clans would be within that tent, for the Selga who led us took no other place as her destination. Eager 
was the Selga to reach that destination, and at her command was the spear point applied even more 
vigorously to my back, so that my steps, too, would be hastened. The touch of sharpened metal in my 
flesh was no sensation of pleasure, and bound and disarmed as I was, my capture could not be 
denied-yet was I not of a mind to be hurried as though I were captive male or city slave-woman. Despite 
the abrupt presence of moisture other than sweat upon my back, my pace remained as it had been, filled 
with some modicum of dignity. The Selga looked upon me with fury in her eyes, her lips moved briefly 
without sound, and then did she turn and run on ahead, unable to wait longer to speak the news she 
brought. 

"She seems rather insolent for a captive," observed the Selga war leader to her warrior, looking down 
upon me where I struggled in fury to rise again. "And she is said to be war leader to the Hosta and the 
others of her clans as well?" 

"She is without doubt war leader to the Hosta," said another voice, one I knew. I turned my head and 
looked up into the gray eyes of Ludir, war leader to the Simma. Green was the clan color of the Simma, 
a green different from Hosta green, and much red blood had been spilled in the battles between the 
wearers of those two greens. Once, not long after I had taken the second silver ring of a war leader, 
Ludir and I had met in battle. The broad scar across her middle was her remembrance of that battle, and 
the gray of her eyes glittered as her left hand stroked that scar. 

"I, too, know Jalav of the Hosta," said another voice, a strong voice unknown to me. From behind the 
war leaders stepped one who wore the long, many colored clan coverings of a Keeper, one whose light 
brown hair was unlined with gray, one whose dark brown eyes looked down upon me from a height 
which was surely even greater than my own. Ennat the Keeper was far from the age of Rilas, yet was 
there respect in the eyes of the war leaders who looked upon her. 

"I will be the one to face her," said Ludir to Ennat, sending no more than a glance to the Keeper before 
resuming her stare at me. "You are no longer a warrior, Ennat, and therefore no longer permitted the use 
of a sword. I have learned much in the kalod since last we met, and this I am eager to show the Hosta 
trash." 

"For what reason do you believe we will allow her the death of a warrior, Ludir?" asked another, she 
who wore Sonna yellow. Renin was the name of the war leader who led the Sonna, a warrior of repute, 
one who had met every challenge in a hand of kalod. Pleased anticipation gleamed from the light eyes of 


Renin, anticipation of other than the witnessing of a battle to the death. "Enemies captured while sneaking 
about are seldom accorded the treatment of warriors," said she. "Most often are they put to death with 
the shame they, themselves, have indicated they deserve." 

Renin, anticipation of other than the witnessing of a battle to the death. "Enemies captured while sneaking 
about are seldom accorded the treatment of warriors," said she. "Most often are they put to death with 
the shame they, themselves, have indicated they deserve." 

A mutter of outraged anger rose to match the outraged insult taking Renin, and those who stood about 
above me closed somewhat with the object of their anger. So close were those warriors and war leaders, 
some with hands to hilts; I struggled furiously to free myself of the leather which bound me, too angry to 
countenance the thought of being put to death without striking all about me and taking as many as 
possible of those who attacked with me. The leather bit into the flesh of my wrists as I struggled, adding 
to my fury with its refusal to part, and then was my head snapped painfully back by the fistful of hair 
taken by Ennat. 

"Your youth is little excuse for such foolishness, Jalav of the Hosta," said she, her voice and eyes free of 
the anger which gripped those others who stood with her. "No matter the manner of your capture, you 
are no other thing than captive to us, one who may indeed be ended by our slightest whim. One who 
kneels bound before her enemies may not give insult so freely, for there are many things other than death 
which she may be given in return. For what reason have you come here, then, if not to learn what you 
might for those who follow you? What word might you speak to those who have interest only in spilling 
your blood?" 

The strength of her grip upon my hair did not lessen, nor was I able to lower my head to ease the ache in 
my neck. She who was now Keeper to the enemy clans held me as though I were a warrior-to-be, 
caught in a disobedience which would not be overlooked. My lips drew back in a silent snarl as I met her 
gaze, and faint amusement turned the corners of her mouth. 

"Yes, I am aware of the fact that Keepers do not demand answers from war leaders," said she, not 
loosening her grip. "I, however, am newly come to the glory of being Keeper, and you do not stand as 
war leader among us. It is for those reasons that I ask you to indulge me in my harmless fancy, and ask 
also that you reply to the queries I have put to you. In such a manner shall we all learn, and that without 
the necessity for spilling blood. Come, Jalav of the Hosta; it cannot be that you fear to speak?" 

The increase in her amusement was clear as was the lessening of the anger in those to whom she was 
Keeper. No longer did many hands curl about sword hilts, no longer was there the rumble of outrage; my 
anger, too, seemed less than it had been, and that despite the manner in which I continued to be held. No 
sisterly feeling arose within me toward Ennat the Keeper, yet was there the very beginning of respect. 

"Indeed do I feel fear, Ennat," I husked, unable to speak clearly through so tautened a throat. "I fear that 
the word I bring from Mida will go unheeded, and then shall the anger of the goddess fall upon those who 
refuse to give ear to her messenger. I have seen the results of the goddess's anger, and truly does the 
memory bring me fear." 

"You claim to bring the word of Mida?" said Ennat, her amusement gone more quickly than it had come. 
A long moment did she stand and stare upon me, and then did she release me and turn to the others. "I 
ask that you allow the Hosta to speak before us, war leaders," said she, no hint of demand to her tone. 
"The doing will cause little harm, for she may be put to death at any time." 

"The sooner that, the greater my pleasure," muttered Renin coldly though she did not deny Ennat's 


request. A small number of the others nodded reluctantly, the respect they held for their Keeper eliciting 
grudging agreement, and slowly did they all reach the same position. 

request. A small number of the others nodded reluctantly, the respect they held for their Keeper eliciting 
grudging agreement, and slowly did they all reach the same position. 

"Best we take this matter within my tent," said Ennat through the murmur of agreement which rose at the 
words of the Selga, the Keeper's eyes studying the thick gray which rode the skies above us. "Already 
do I feel the first drops of Mida's continuing tears, and surely have we been blessed enough this visiting. 
It would also please me to return to my daru." 

At the Keeper's gesture my arms were taken so that I might be pulled to my feet, yet was our entrance 
into the tent halted by the words of the Selga warrior who had come first to announce my presence. Full 
confident was that warrior that the difficulty I presented would quickly be seen to, therefore was she now 
eager to see her own interests served. 

"War leaders, what of the males who follow her?" she asked, as if she had just recalled the presence of 
those males. "Are they to accompany her into the Keeper's tent, or am I to see to their disposition?" 

"There is no need of additional males in the tent," replied the Selga war leader with some annoyance, 
quickly gesturing aside the question. "You may do with them as you please, for the Hosta is unlikely to 
require further use of males." 

The Selga warrior, pleased with the prospect of seeing to the new males, began to turn again toward the 
two Sigurri, who had stiffened with the knowledge that they would no longer be allowed to accompany 
me. No sound nor difficulty had come from them till that moment, and that despite the fact that Wedin 
and Dotil had been taken elsewhere and had not returned; the decision as to their disposition was not 
difficult to make, nor did I hesitate in the voicing of it. 

"Selga," I called, halting her before she again faced the males she was so eager to see to. "For the 
moment you may have my males, yet would you do well to recall that I shall examine them closely when I 
come to reclaim them. Should I find aught amiss there will be a reckoning between us, one in which you 
will not be fortunate enough to find an ending. And yet, should it truly be your wish to see properly to 
them, there is a thing which must be done. He of the red hair was in a small way disobedient, yet did I 
lack the time to see to his punishment. As he is now in your possession, you may see to the thing for 
me." 

A ripple of amusement at Mehrayn's suddenly reddened scowl sounded from those warriors who looked 
on, clearly an appreciation that having been taken captive had not turned me unaware of that which was 
necessary. To allow a male to go unpunished when he has earned it, will too often encourage the male to 
repeat his offense. My action had shown him that he might not do as he pleased among Midanna, and 
nods of approval came even from certain of the war leaders who stood about. The male himself showed 
little approval, nor did Chaldrin, yet were they turned away from where they stood and urged elsewhere 
with spears before they might do more than cast dark glances upon the war leader they followed. The 
Selga who followed them also looked briefly upon that war leader, yet was her glance more thoughtful 
than those others which had touched me. She had realized that a vow had been given her, and such a 
thing is never taken lightly by a Midanna. 

With the small distraction seen to, the nine war leaders and Ennat entered the Keeper's tent, their captive 
held where she stood till her captors had gone before. The tears of Mida had begun to thicken before I 


was thrust after, to enter the many-colored tent behind those who had already returned to the places they 
had so abruptly left. The clean black leather of the tent floor was true pleasure to the bottoms of my feet, 
recalling to me a happier time with my own clan, a time before it had been necessary to ride the lands of 
males and seek out those who joyed in the thought of spilling my blood. The aroma of brewed daru filled 
the confines of the large, candle-lit tent with its full-flavored beckoning, curling about me and also luring 
me down paths of sweet memory. How often I had had daru in the tent of Rilas, Keeper of our clans, 
downing pot after pot the while we spoke of-

was thrust after, to enter the many-colored tent behind those who had already returned to the places they 
had so abruptly left. The clean black leather of the tent floor was true pleasure to the bottoms of my feet, 
recalling to me a happier time with my own clan, a time before it had been necessary to ride the lands of 
males and seek out those who joyed in the thought of spilling my blood. The aroma of brewed daru filled 
the confines of the large, candle-lit tent with its full-flavored beckoning, curling about me and also luring 
me down paths of sweet memory. How often I had had daru in the tent of Rilas, Keeper of our clans, 
downing pot after pot the while we spoke of-

"Again must you be reminded that you stand before us as other than a war leader," said Ennat, evenly. 
"No more than captive are you, Jalav of the Hosta, and best would be that you recall the fact." 

"Jalav has been captive many times since Mida called," said I, looking upon Ennat as she looked upon 
me. "No matter the number of times, however, Jalav has ever remained a war leader, a state whose glory 
may be taken by no other thing than a sword. There are those about you who are able to explain to you 
the truth I speak, Ennat." 

Little liking for my words did it seem the Keeper had despite the expressionlessness she held to, yet did 
many of the war leaders chuckle and look upon Ennat in amusement. No war leader had Ennat been but 
a warrior, and none may know the fullness of war leadership without having herself slain for and taken the 
second silver ring. 

"Jalav continues in her insolence," said the Selga war leader, sipping from her pot of daru the while her 
eyes continued to hold to me. "Should this be all Jalav has come to put before us, we would be wise to 
begin at once a discussion of her permanent disposition." 

"Indeed," said Renin of the Sonna, the yellow of her clan colors bright in the dimness of the tent. "I would 
see to this great Hosta war leader before what little courage I have fails me." 

"My courage has not diminished from what it was," said Ludir of the Simna, smiling somewhat at the 
words of Renin. "I will face this Hosta as once I did, and this time will her blood alone pool upon the 
ground." 

"Sisters," said Ennat, her tone as calm and soothing as her smile. "Well do I know how eager you are to 
see to this interloper in our midst, yet has she been put to her knees before you and been bound at your 
pleasure. Though all Midanna serve Mida, a Keeper's service is somewhat nearer to the mother of us all, 
and I would hear what words the Hosta claims to bring from the goddess. Should we hear that which is 
patently untrue, you may then silence her in a fitting manner." In the grudging silence which followed, 
Ennat turned to me. "Speak, Jalav of the Hosta," said she, looking deeply into my eyes. "Should it truly 
be Mida who has sent you you must cause us to know it without doubt." 

The leather upon my wrists bit again into my flesh, the pain alone telling of my attempt to part my bonds. 
All those about me listened for what words I would speak, yet what weight would they have coming from 
one who was so clearly no more than a captive? Much did it seem, and scarcely for the first time, that 
defeat rather than victory was the goal of she who had caused me to be placed in such a state, yet 


thoughts of that sort were clearly foolishness. Only my success would bring Mida the force she required 
to meet the strangers, and such a force was desired by her above all else. As it was necessary to speak 
my tale from my knees I would do so, yet would there be a reckoning with certain of those war leaders in 
the tent before I allowed them to follow me. 

thoughts of that sort were clearly foolishness. Only my success would bring Mida the force she required 
to meet the strangers, and such a force was desired by her above all else. As it was necessary to speak 
my tale from my knees I would do so, yet would there be a reckoning with certain of those war leaders in 
the tent before I allowed them to follow me. 

No sound interrupted my narrative, therefore did I continue on through the balance of it, speaking briefly 
upon each point and as little as possible upon the shame which had been given me in the service to which 
I was bound. At times were the males gestured to those war leaders who wished more of the daru, yet 
were the actions done quietly, without an intent toward interruption. My knees began to ache through the 
telling, and my wrists and arms as well, the sweat poured from my legs which were covered by my hair, 
and my back flared in pain from the leavings of the spear point which had touched me; nevertheless did I 
continue on, and at last came to an end. Deep, thoughtful silence held each of those who had listened, 
and it was not unexpected when Ennat came to speak first. 

"And it was in the city of these males you called to battle that Mida last walked your dreams?" she asked, 
a great disturbance upon her. "For what reason would the goddess choose an enemy to lead us? For 
what reason would the glory not be given to one of our own?" 

"Perhaps for the reason that we are beloved enough to be spared such glory," said the Summa war 
leader, she who was called Faris. As light-haired and light-eyed as Dotil was she, and well pleased had 
she seemed when I had spoken of the capture of Dotil and Wedin as having been demanded by Mida so 
that I might be guided to their visiting place. "To have one's entire clan taken by males so that one might 
lead one's sisters unchallenged, to be given, time and again, into the capture of males to do Mida's 
bidding, to appear before one's blood enemies and say they must follow and not slay-No, Ennat, such 
glory is beyond my appetites. Might there be any here who see the matter differently?" 

Faris looked upon the others as she spoke, her words in no manner a challenge, therefore were they 
accepted without insult; however, agreement became another matter entirely. 

"Should one accept the Hosta's tale as it was spoken, no," said the Selga war leader, her tone full 
thoughtful, her eyes upon Faris. "One must recall, however, that a particular presentation of an event may 
not necessarily be a totally correct or properly interpreted presentation. As we none of us were present 
at these events, how may we be certain of those things we are asked to judge'?" 

"You feel uncertain as to the disappearance of the Crystal guarded by the Silla, or perhaps upon the 
disappearance of the Silla themselves?" asked Faris with a sound of faint disdain, returning the Selga look 
for look. "As we have discussed little else this visiting, Kalir, I trust you will forgive my lack of 
understanding of your skepticism." 

"My skepticism is easily explained, Faris," returned the Selga Kalir, with a faint smile. "We have been 
told that the Crystal of the Hosta was stolen, the Hosta rode out to effect its return, and then was it 
discovered that the Silla had given their Crystal in trade for males to serve them. The culmination of this 
entire affair is the possession by males of not only all of Mida's Crystals, but of the Hosta and Silla as 
well. For what reason might we not suppose that it was the Silla's Crystal which was stolen, the Hosta's 
Crystal which was given in trade, and the Silla war leader who was meant to lead us? Perhaps it is the 
Hosta who are held captive through Mida's anger, and the Silla who serve the goddess through required 


torment, their war leader Zolin now riding in the name of Mida, this Jalav doing no more than attempting 
to usurp her place and mislead those who would follow her. How are we to know, save that we await 
the return of Zolin?" 

torment, their war leader Zolin now riding in the name of Mida, this Jalav doing no more than attempting 
to usurp her place and mislead those who would follow her. How are we to know, save that we await 
the return of Zolin?" 

"Should it be your intention to await the return of Zolin," said I to the Selga Kalir, "best would be that you 
provision yourself extremely well. Zolin now dwells with Mida in her Blessed Realm, undoubtedly reaping 
the rewards of her actions in regard to the Crystal which was her sacred trust. Zolin thought to best Jalav 
in the city of the males who had tainted Zolin's soul, yet did Zolin discover that Jalav stands behind 
Mida's shield. Had it been Zolin who stood in the right, surely would it have been Jalav who fell." 

"A fair rebuttal," said Faris to Kalir, somewhat amused at the Selga's annoyance. "Are we to believe that 
Mida would have allowed Zolin to be bested had Zolin been her chosen? The shield of Mida is all, with 
no mere mortal able to broach it." 

"Granted," said Kalir with continuing annoyance, rising to her feet to walk to where the males sat beside 
the brewing daru. One of the males rose to take her pot and see to its refilling, though Kalir seemed 
unaware. Her thoughts remained with the disagreement she wished to muster, and quickly was she 
prepared to speak further. 

"I will, of course, grant the truth regarding Mida's shield," said she, taking her refilled pot with the same 
inattention she had surrendered it. "However, we have the word of none save the Hosta that Zolin has 
been bested. Well might it be that Zolin rides toward us this very moment." 

"Indeed may it well be so," said Faris, looking to the Selga where she stood before the males. "However, 
the possibility also remains that Zolin has indeed been slain. Were we to choose to await what the new 
fey will bring, or perhaps the following fey or the one beyond that, we may well discover that it is Mida's 
anger which is brought. To sit about doing naught may well prove the doing of fools." 

"Do you propose, then, that we follow the Hosta?" demanded Kalir angrily. "We are to unquestioningly 
accept the word of one who has ever been an enemy to us, stumbling in our haste to obey, asking no 
single question upon her right to command us? This, you believe, would not be a doing of fools?" 

Tight-lipped did Faris look upon Kalir, unable to answer so pertinent an objection, a disturbed muttering 
from the others who sat there, flowing about the stiffened forms of the two who engaged in verbal battle. 
With some small effort did I shift where I knelt, attempting to ease the discomfort and pain which held 
me, attempting to search out the words which would cause these Midanna to find belief in my task. What 
words might be spoken had little difficulty eluding me, and then were there words from one who had for 
some time remained silent. 

" To be the chosen of Mida is a blessing, for Mida protects her own," said Ennat, her eyes directly upon 
me, her voice again calm. "To have the shield of Mida before one is to have all, for none may prevail over 
one who is so protected. To prove the point, one need only submit to testing, for in no other manner 
might such a contention be shown as truth. With Mida's aid, no challenge will prove too difficult to best. 
" 

"How wise you are, Ennat!" cried Kafir the Selga with a laugh. "From her own tale has the Hosta faced 
testing a number of times before this, and clearly was it indicated that she triumphed. Now is it given to 
Midanna to see to her testing, to prove her truly worthy of Mida's favor." 


"How eager you seem to prove her worthy, Kalir," said Faris, her tone having gone dry, her pot of daru 
held negligently in her hand. "It cannot be that you contemplate more than a test to prove worth, more 
than one might reasonably be expected to endure. Midanna are strong, and Mida's chosen must be 
strongest of all, yet must it also be recalled that she is merely chosen, not Mida herself." 

"How eager you seem to prove her worthy, Kalir," said Faris, her tone having gone dry, her pot of daru 
held negligently in her hand. "It cannot be that you contemplate more than a test to prove worth, more 
than one might reasonably be expected to endure. Midanna are strong, and Mida's chosen must be 
strongest of all, yet must it also be recalled that she is merely chosen, not Mida herself." 

"And it is no other thing than the truth which we seek here," said Ennat, continuing to look only upon me. 
"Should it truly be Mida's wish that we ride to battle with a stranger at our head, we must know that that 
stranger is truly our superior in all things, truly sent by the goddess to lead us. You must consent to be 
tested, Hosta war leader, else shall your words and efforts come to naught." 

Again silence descended upon those in the tent, even the light eyes of Faris the Summa speaking of the 
need to know full truth in the matter. No words not spoken by Mida herself would then suffice, I saw, 
and the great weariness which lay buried in me rose high again, bringing with it a deep, burning anger 
which I was unable to acknowledge. 

"Very well," said I, straightening myself where I knelt, looking upon each of those who watched me so 
carefully. "Testing has indeed been my lot many times, most especially while in the capture of males. 
Perhaps Midanna will find themselves able to accomplish that which the males were unable to do, and 
Jalav will be ended. Such a state is not without its benefits. Let us begin at once." 

"For what reason are you so filled with bitterness, Jalav of the Hosta?" asked Ennat, curiously. "Should 
the words you spoke be true, you are more beloved by Mida than any other warrior at any time. Would 
this not be cause for soul-blazing joy rather than soul-blighting bitterness?" 

I thought upon each of the joys I had been given in my service to Mida, the joys of pain and humiliation 
and shame, and saw at last the disappointment which had come to me when my acceptance among 
Midanna had been no better than that which had been mine among males. The feeling was foolishness, I 
knew, yet was I powerless to chase it from me. One is usually untouched by the manner in which one is 
treated by enemies, yet were these also Midanna, and I more touched than I had thought. 

"Time enough for joy when I have survived your trials, Ennat," said I, looking upon the Keeper with little 
of the openness she herself showed. "The sooner we begin, the sooner will that joy come to me." 

"An eagerness to face that which will surely be completely lacking in pleasure of any sort is 
commendable," said Ennat with the faint smile which seemed to indicate deep understanding. "However, 
despite your eagerness, our war leaders trust be allowed a time of discussion to determine the exact 
nature of the trials you will face. You will remain our-guest for the remainder of this fey and the darkness 
following, and we will begin with the new light." 

"And I, personally, shall see to her comfort," said Kalir the Selga, showing pleasure. "One who was not 
the chosen of Mida would require a good deal of uninterrupted rest, to prepare her for the rigors she 
must face; one who rides for the goddess, however, will not require the same. Victory will be hers no 
matter the barriers erected in her path." 

"The war leader Kalir speaks the truth, Faris of the Summa," said Ennat to the Summa who clearly 
gathered herself for protest, ending the other's words before they were begun. 

"The Hosta must triumph with no aid whatsoever, even in the face of distinct opposition, else shall the 


trials have no more meaning than words of insistence. Surely you are able to see this?" 

trials have no more meaning than words of insistence. Surely you are able to see this?" 

She turned then and walked toward the fire above which hung the daru, giving no heed to the venomous 
look sent her by Kalir. Truly among her own would Kalir have been with the Silla, those who took great 
pleasure in the agony of others. 

"And yet this-plight was freely accepted by the intruder among us," said she, restraining her anger. "The 
greater the number of difficulties we give her to overcome, the more certain will we be upon the question 
of her position. Benetros, come stand beside me." 

At the summons, one of those males who served by the fire rose and came forward, halting beside the 
Selga as she had commanded. Dark-haired and dark-eyed was the male, of a height greater than Kalir, 
perhaps even somewhat larger than myself. What might be seen of the male both above and below the 
colorless wrap about his middle showed him to be well made, and the manner in which he looked upon 
me showed him to be one with the Selga. 

"Benetros came to take, yet remained to give," said Kalir with a smile. "He thought to have a Midanna as 
slave-woman, then found more pleasure in himself giving service. As he has been thoroughly taught the 
proper manner with war leaders, he will see to the comfort of our guest till the time her presence is 
required at the first of the trials. Does any here object to this?" 

Kalir looked about herself, most especially at Faris, yet the Summa drank freshly poured daru with her 
back to the Selga, no longer willing to spend words uselessly. Were I to survive what trials were put 
before me the Summa would find further words, yet was it necessary that I first demonstrate my 
worthiness of her support. None might fault Faris for her doing for she had, in honor, attempted to deal 
fairly with a difficult situation. Were I permitted to triumph over what lay before me, I would not forget 
such honorable treatment of one who was, in strictest truth, an enemy. 

As none had given denial to Kalir, the Selga had turned to the male beside her, spoken softly so that only 
he might hear, then had smiled in approval at his nod of agreement. Despite the difficulty of my position in 
that tent, it undoubtedly would have aided me to remain during the discussions to come, therefore was I 
annoyed when the male immediately turned from Kalir and approached me. I was able to see the frown 
upon Ennat as the male went to one knee before me, then was I taken by the waist and raised to his 
shoulder, a moment later hanging head down as he rose again to his feet. My anger was great that the 
Selga would dare have me done so, as though I were in truth no other thing than a captive and a slave, 
yet did I speak no word of protest as the male bore me from the tent. I looked upon the Selga and met 
her smirk with the gaze of a war leader of the Hosta, promising a time when the matter would be seen to 
between us with swords. She smirked as though the silent vow I had made was meaningless, and I grew 
truly angry. 

Without the tent were the tears of Mida, falling heavily upon the grass and tents, darkening the light of the 
fey even more than the gray of the skies. No warrior stood about to see the manner in which the male 
carried me, one arm about my legs, to a tent lacking all evidence of clan colors, one which stood not far 
from the Keeper's tent and was of a size larger than most. The male hurried through the rain, making no 
attempt to keep me from looking all about as best I might, and I wondered upon the oddity of one who 
served Midanna being hurried by even so heavy a rain. Among certain of the clans, males were often 
used beneath the tears of Mida to seek an added blessing, one which would give the birth of no more 


than daughters to that clan. Quite possibly the male who carried me had been used so, therefore was the 
reason for his hurry unclear-till we reached the unmarked tent and entered it. The voices of other males 
greeted him but the male remain silent till he had dropped me to the tent floor, in candle-lit dimness. 

than daughters to that clan. Quite possibly the male who carried me had been used so, therefore was the 
reason for his hurry unclear-till we reached the unmarked tent and entered it. The voices of other males 
greeted him but the male remain silent till he had dropped me to the tent floor, in candle-lit dimness. 

"Surely, Benetros, that is a Midanna," said one. "Also does she wear the second silver ring of a war 
leader. To do her so is to invite a death more horrible than I care to contemplate. Have you lost your 
wits?" 

"My wits remain sound, Telemar," replied the male Benetros with a laugh, dragging his arm across his 
face to wipe away the tears of Mida which covered him. "This wench is in truth Midanna, yet is she 
enemy to those whom we serve. I have been commanded to see to her in whatever manner I please, with 
the aid of any others I choose. Would you care to join me in the use of a war leader?" 

"In truth?" asked the male Telemar, his eyes widened as he again looked down upon me. "To again be 
permitted to take a wench, rather than being taken by one! And she a war leader! Indeed would I care 
to join you, Benetros, even should the time allowed be no more than reckid." 

"The time allowed is hind, therefore may you others join us as well," said Benetros to those two who had 
not yet spoken, then did he seat himself beside me upon the soft tan leather of the tent floor. "It pleases 
me greatly to have had you given to me, wench. From the words you spoke to the war leaders-and from 
those which remained carefully unspoken-I am of the belief that you have been taught to serve a man 
well. In the hind to come, I will see that you serve me exceedingly well." 

"I have been taught to serve males with sword and dagger," said I to Benetros, then did I look upon the 
others. "That I am currently bound in leather is meaningless, for I mean to win my freedom with the new 
light. Those who offer me insult now will surely be recalled at that time." 

"Ah, but we shall offer you no insult," laughed Benetros even as one of the silent males shuddered and 
quickly walked to the far side of the tent. The touch of a hand to my breast immediately returned my 
attention to the darkhaired male who sat beside me, and again he laughed. "We offer you only pleasure, 
war leader," said he, "for you are surely made for no other thing. What lovely mounds you have, so high 
and full, calling to a man to put his hands and lips upon them. I feel sure you will quickly be brought to 
begging what pleasure you may be given-should it be our wish to give it." 

"She shows naught of arousal, Benetros," said Telemar with unease, seating himself carefully to my other 
side as I growled and attempted to dislodge the hand of the first male. "Are you certain she may be made 
to desire us-and will not retain her anger?" 

"Her anger is great, yet it will soon be put aside," said Benetros with much confidence, his amusement 
undiminished. "After we have caused her to squirm and beg and debase herself, her shame will be too 
great for her to ever approach us again. Have no fear, Telemar, for I have dwelt among these Midanna 
longer than you, and therefore have a deeper understanding of them. Our deaths will not wipe away the 
shame she will feel, for she will have been proven less than we-and she will not, in any event, survive the 
trials she will face with the new light. We will be the last to take pleasure from this body, therefore shall 
we take as much as we are able, eh, brother?" 

"Indeed," said the second male, his unease remaining, yet was that unease overcome by his desire to use 
a war leader as he had been used by them. My anger was indeed great as the hands of Benetros went to 
the ties of my breech. for the shaming I was to be given was at the command of Kalir the Selga. Again I 


struggled to loosen the leather which bound me, uselessly doing naught as the breech was pulled away, 
and then was a hand between my thighs, touching me in a manner intended to raise my heat. My shock 
was deep, then, yet was it an entirely unexpected shock. The shame I had anticipated had not come, nor 
would it, for I continued to wear my life sign! No desire for a male ran through my blood, no need was 
awakened, no awareness of the touch as anything other than a touch upon my flesh anywhere. I would 
not respond to the male no matter his efforts, and surely would this keep him from me. 

struggled to loosen the leather which bound me, uselessly doing naught as the breech was pulled away, 
and then was a hand between my thighs, touching me in a manner intended to raise my heat. My shock 
was deep, then, yet was it an entirely unexpected shock. The shame I had anticipated had not come, nor 
would it, for I continued to wear my life sign! No desire for a male ran through my blood, no need was 
awakened, no awareness of the touch as anything other than a touch upon my flesh anywhere. I would 
not respond to the male no matter his efforts, and surely would this keep him from me. 

"I must use her," muttered the first male, no longer amused due to the failure of his efforts. Anger seemed 
to hold the male, and a good deal of fear, and lines of upset entered his face as his eyes hardened. "Kalir 
has demanded that I use her, and I must not disobey. Should I fail she will send me from her, and I 
cannot bear the thought. And you two shall aid me, else shall I make it known that you disobeyed the 
word of a war leader! This one shall be ended with the new light, yet Kalir will remain; do you wish her 
to be told of your disobedience?" 

The near-shrillness of Benetros caused the other two to look upon each other with great upset, yet there 
was naught they might do to deny the will of the first male. They dared not disobey the word of a war 
leader, and to them I was not the war leader they must obey. A thrill of apprehension flashed through me, 
bringing me a touch of cold in the heat of the tent, and then was Benetros again looking down upon me, 
his hands now moving all about my body. 

"No more than one of us need be aroused, wench," said he, the look in his eyes far from pleasant. 
"Though you are somehow able to resist my touch, the feel of you is more than enough for my own 
arousal. Should you wish to be spared agony, you had best allow your own lubrication." 

With that did his hands go to the leather upon my ankles, freeing one side of it, causing me to again throw 
myself about and kick. It was not possible to allow my body to protect itself, and as my knees were 
forced wide and Benetros came to present himself to me, I knew that the first of my trials was at hand. A 
Midanna will sooner have pain than shame, yet where the survival of many is at stake, even shame is 
preferable to failure. With difficulty did Benetros thrust within me, beginning the thing, and well aware 
was I suddenly made of the fact that darkness had not yet fallen. Hind had the male spoken of, and hind 
did it become. 

CH 10. The fruits of success-and betrayal 

The new fey was as gray as the last had been, lacking only the fall of Mida's tears. A small breeze 
touched me as I walked to the urging of the male's hand upon my arm, the small movement of the air 
bringing only a small lessening of the heat which sat upon all like a warrior upon a gando. Many warriors 
looked upon me as I was taken past them, therefore did I attempt to straighten myself as I walked, as 
befitted a war leader of Midanna. What success I had I was unable to judge, for no more than wordless 
murmurings came to me from those who watched, and then was I approaching Ennat and the nine war 
leaders, they who would decide if I indeed rode as the chosen of Mida. 

"We greet you, Jalav of the Hosta," said Ennat as I halted before her, yet she frowned rather than smiled. 
Indeed was the Keeper larger than I, and as I attempted to straighten even further in my stance, her hand 
came to my shoulder. "How great is the pain you feel?" she demanded in low-voiced anger, her 
sharpened glance touching the male beside me. "What number of hind of sleep were you allowed?" 

The male Benetros drew his breath in low and backed a step, yet I made no effort to look upon him. His 
obedience to Kalir had been complete, as was the obedience of the other males, and it had been their 


spendings alone which had kept the time from giving to them the pain it had given to me. Had I not worn 
my life sign I might well have been unable to walk, and unconsciousness rather than sleep had taken me 
for some few hind of the darkness. Had I expected to awaken healed and free of pain I would have 
found great disappointment, yet had I expected nothing of the sort. Only deep, grievous wounds did my 
life sign heal, and too lengthy a use by males was not the same. The sole benefit I had reaped from the 
darkness past was the unbinding of my wrists, and I had come to myself with the new light with much of 
the pain of first movement already past. I met the anger in Ennat's gaze with something like annoyance, 
and shook my head at her. 

spendings alone which had kept the time from giving to them the pain it had given to me. Had I not worn 
my life sign I might well have been unable to walk, and unconsciousness rather than sleep had taken me 
for some few hind of the darkness. Had I expected to awaken healed and free of pain I would have 
found great disappointment, yet had I expected nothing of the sort. Only deep, grievous wounds did my 
life sign heal, and too lengthy a use by males was not the same. The sole benefit I had reaped from the 
darkness past was the unbinding of my wrists, and I had come to myself with the new light with much of 
the pain of first movement already past. I met the anger in Ennat's gaze with something like annoyance, 
and shook my head at her. 

"We are here to begin a testing, not to engage in idle chatter," came the annoyance-filled voice of Kalir 
before Ennat was able to reply to me. The Keeper and I turned our heads to look upon the Selga, and 
much satisfaction filled her eyes at my appearance. I stood without covering or weapon of any sort, the 
aches of my body clearly spread all through me, and such was in accordance with her most ardent 
desires. Deep hatred had the Selga for she who was Jalav, and little attempt did Kalir make to disguise 
the feeling. 

"The term testing may not be equated with the term 'execution,' save possibly at its end," said Faris of the 
Summa, looking upon Kalir with thinly veiled disgust. "Has the Hosta been allowed provender, either 
during the darkness or at the beginning of this fey? Our aim in this testing is to make success difficult, not 
wholly impossible. That would prove naught save that Mida's chosen was mortal, a thing we are already 
aware of." 

"Faris speaks truly," came another voice before Kalir might reply, surprisingly the voice of Ludir. She 
who wore Simna green stood herself beside Faris and looked upon the Selga with little approval. "There 
is little glory to be found in facing one who has difficulty in holding herself erect, and little honor in sending 
such a one forth to survive against great odds. I would have the Hosta survive to face me, Kalir, and 
would have the besting of her to be sweet. Should we allow you to continue as you have so far done, I 
will have neither thing." 

"I, too, must cast my vote with Ludir," said Renin of the Somna with great reluctance, yet with no 
uncertainty. "Though it would please me to end the Hosta without delay, if we have committed ourselves 
to testing, we must proceed with honor. Never have I faced a challenger who was unfit to face me, and 
never shall I do so. To handicap the Hosta too greatly is to make a mockery of our avowed intentions, 
and I will have none of it. At the very least she must be given water, for no one may face this heat without 
it and survive." 

Kalir the Selga looked all about herself, seeing agreement even on the faces of those who stood with her. 
Again she fought down her anger, and then she faced the three who had spoken in opposition to her with 
a nod. 

"Very well," said she, her capitulation stiff with resentment. "The Hosta may have what water she 
requires, that and no more! What sense in testing her in the first place, if the testing is not to be nearly 
impossible to survive? Are we not agreed that she must triumph against odds which we, ourselves, could 
not hope to best? Do you wish to find the necessity of following one who is given victory through the 
efforts of those who feel pity for her? The chosen of Mida will survive without the efforts of others, for 
Mida herself stands beside her. Will you hold your pity in abeyance, so that the truth might be known? If 
you do not, this foolishness may the well be ended upon the moment." 


Again was there silence caused by the words of the Selga, a silence which returned a large measure of 
satisfaction to her. Truly well versed in twisting words was Kalir, yet was there no denial of the truth she 
spoke. Water was brought me, a wetness which flowed down the burning channel of my throat and 
returned some measure of strength to me, and then did Ennat briefly touch my shoulder again. 

Again was there silence caused by the words of the Selga, a silence which returned a large measure of 
satisfaction to her. Truly well versed in twisting words was Kalir, yet was there no denial of the truth she 
spoke. Water was brought me, a wetness which flowed down the burning channel of my throat and 
returned some measure of strength to me, and then did Ennat briefly touch my shoulder again. 

"I am to go into the forests, alone and unarmed, to elude all pursuit till darkness, and you ask what I 
say?" I smiled somewhat at the sobriety of the Keeper, then did I move my eyes to Kalir where she 
stood, wrapped in smug complaisance. "I say that I will return when darkness has fallen, and perhaps see 
to a task or three which I now leave undone. No true follower of Mida need fear that return." 

"No one of any sort need fear that return," said Kalir, her complaisance undisturbed. "What reason to 
fear a return which will not occur?" 

"Your continued self-possession pleases me, Selga," I said, my half smile widening a bit. "Mida frowns 
upon giving challenge to the fearful." 

"Also does Mida frown upon accepting challenge from the dead," she returned, still undaunted. "Your 
survival in the forests is impossible, therefore do I look forward to your return--dragged lifeless behind 
those who slay you. In no other manner shall you return." 

Again I allowed my smile to widen, yet rather than reply I turned from her, to look upon Ennat. The 
Keeper returned that look with a good deal of penetration, perhaps seeing that I spoke only to bring 
disquiet to the Selga, for the pain and weariness I felt would likely do for me exactly as the Selga wished. 
No words did Ennat speak upon what she saw, however, for other words waited in their place. 

"Once you have reached the forests, our warriors will wait no more than two hands of reckid before 
following," said she, her sobriety turned to calm. "Should you truly be Mida's chosen, I ask that she guard 
you as only she may do; should you be other than chosen, I ask that she allow your soul what peace it 
has earned in your place as her war leader. You may now begin." 

Those about me stepped back at the words which signaled the onset of the trial, and I, with what strength 
and dignity was left to me, turned and made for the edge of the forests across the meadow. Those 
warriors who watched the proceedings formed an aisle of sorts, one it was considerably easier taking 
than ignoring. I walked the aisle far across the meadow, beneath the eyes of warriors without number and 
the gray of the skies, walked beyond the aisle, then entered the forests. 

Two hands of reckid, I thought as I looked about, taking myself from the sight of those behind as quickly 
as I was able. Two hands of reckid to elude the pursuit of countless numbers of warriors, all fresh and 
alert, all eager to bring down the enemy who had dared to attempt claiming their leadership. Much did I 
believe that the trial was of Kalir's devising, yet it mattered not. A chosen of Mida might well survive the 
time, yet the aid of the goddess was unlikely to be given me. Triumph or failure would be mine alone, and 
yet would failure be punished as though I had been offered aid and had spurned it. This was I certain of 
above all other things, therefore was it necessary that I make the attempt. 


I stumbled past bushes and trees for a very short time, painfully aware of how little distance I had put 
between myself and the visiting meadow, and then did I see that which caused me to halt, blinking in 
confusion. A small patch of green cloth hung upon a bush beside a small patch of blue cloth, and the 
strangeness extended beyond the presence of cloth upon a bush in the forests. The blue was Summa 
blue, yet the green was Hosta green, a color not easily found in those lands. I remained where I had 
halted another moment, finding difficulty in believing what I saw, for surely Faris would not have gone 
against the decision of her sister war leaders to such an extent that assistance would be-

I stumbled past bushes and trees for a very short time, painfully aware of how little distance I had put 
between myself and the visiting meadow, and then did I see that which caused me to halt, blinking in 
confusion. A small patch of green cloth hung upon a bush beside a small patch of blue cloth, and the 
strangeness extended beyond the presence of cloth upon a bush in the forests. The blue was Summa 
blue, yet the green was Hosta green, a color not easily found in those lands. I remained where I had 
halted another moment, finding difficulty in believing what I saw, for surely Faris would not have gone 
against the decision of her sister war leaders to such an extent that assistance would be-

My limbs fluttered with fatigue and throbbed in an echo of the pain I felt elsewhere, yet would I continue 
on as long as possible, attempting the impossible. I pulled the cloth from the bush, both Hosta green and 
Summa blue, yet did the blue cloth fall from my uncertain grip and float to the ground some small distance 
within the ring of bushes. Wearily yet with a certain haste I went to one knee, reached within the ring for 
the cloth I dared not leave behind-and only then saw the second bit of cloth in green. Seemingly half 
buried in the grass did it appear, and had I not gone to one knee, I would surely have missed it among so 
similar a green as the grass. With the difficulty of sweat and weariness-blurred sight in the gray of a 
lowering fey, truly must it have been Mida's doing that I saw it at all. Now was there truly a need for 
haste, so that the doings of both sisters and goddess not be undone. 

In a gait more like a hobble than that of a hunter and warrior, I took branches and returned the way I had 
come, then retraced my steps a final time, obliterating those steps and the previous ones as I went. No 
sign of my passage did I leave, and once returned to the circle of bushes, I threw the branches as far as 
my rapidly fading strength would allow. Only then did I lift the disguising cover from the pit dug in the ring 
of bushes, taking great care not to disturb the grass arranged upon the close frame of branches. The pit 
was twice the depth I required and long enough to allow me to stretch out full length, and briefly did I 
send my thoughts to my Summa sisters, for the doing must truly have taxed them greatly. All over 
atremble I eased myself into the pit, then replaced the frame of branches and grass. Surely some of the 
grass must have been disturbed by my movement of the frame, yet was there naught I might do for it. The 
two hands of reckid I had been given were surely gone, as surely as the strength I had spent in haste. I 
fingered the cloth I had taken with me into the pit and attempted to ignore how great the heat and lack of 
air were, for it was necessary that I listen for those who came behind me. Although the pain I felt began 
to flash with greater urgency, it was necessary that I make no sound which would draw the pursuit to me. 
I lay in the pit upon my back, attempting to feel naught of what had been done to me, attempting to listen 
for those who came behind, and in such a way did the darkness find me, ending all of my attempts. 

The sound of Mida's tears came first, pattering all about and bringing a great coolness to my body. For a 
moment I knew not where I was, and then did memory return of the pit I had found, the pit which had 
seemingly not been found by others. I moved somewhat in the damp and wet which had seeped through 
the covering of grass to reach me, and was greatly surprised to discover that both weariness and pain 
were no longer mine. The sleep I had slept had been the sleep of healing, a fact also attested to by the 


great hunger I felt. 

great hunger I felt. 

Without haste did I finish both provender and daru, and only then did I lift the frame above me 
somewhat, to see what part of the fey it was. Through the heavily falling tears of Mida, I was able to see 
that darkness was not far distant, the time I had hoped it would be. With great care did I lift the frame 
higher and take myself out of the pit, giving silent thanks to the goddess for the strength of her tears. My 
body and hair were well covered with the mud the bottom of the pit had become, and it would be 
necessary to wash that mud from me before I returned to the visiting camp. I had no wish to give even 
the smallest hint of the manner in which I had survived the trial to those who waited, for surely would they 
consider the matter done with the aid of one other than Mida. They would not see that Mida had aided 
me as well, and all would have gone for naught. No, the truth was not for those who waited, for truth is at 
times more misleading than lies. 

With the mud finally washed from me, I began my return to the visiting tents. This time were those who 
searched weary and aching, and she who eluded them well rested and in full health. Not without difficulty 
did I pass those who continued to hunt me, yet was I as much Midanna as were they, not city 
slave-woman or male to make my presence known throughout the forest. At times was it necessary to 
crawl upon my belly, the ends of my hair trailing in the mud, the rain beating upon me as though in anger, 
yet did I make my way at last to the tent of Ennat. Through growing shadows close about the tents had I 
crept, yet was I proudly erect when I stepped through the opened tent flap before those who waited; the 
glare of the animal-fat candles bringing a narrowing to my eyes. At first was there no notice taken of she 
who stood silently by the opened flap, and then did Ennat look up with a start of surprise. 

"Despite the uncertainty caused by the rains," said I, disallowing any other to speak before me, "I believe 
it must be agreed that darkness has fallen. Is this trial now done with?" 

"Hosta, you have returned!" cried Faris, rising quickly to her feet with a number of the other war leaders. 
"Despite the difficulties you faced, you are alive and unharmed!" 

"More than merely alive and unharmed," said Ennat, a wondering to her tone, she making no attempt to 
stand as did others. "The pain and weariness no longer trouble you, and that after a full fey of being 
hunted. Surely must the hand of Mida have caressed you, and wrapped you firmly about to shield you 
from harm. Is it possible to retain any doubt of this?" 

"It is more than possible to retain doubt!" snapped Kalir, a true fury upon her, her hands turned to fists at 
her sides where she stood. "Those who hunted the Hosta were unable to find her track through the 
forests, therefore is it likely that she was met and taken away by others, most probably a number of those 
who follow her! Having been tended carefully throughout the fey, she now stands before us with the 
pretense of full health, yet am I not to be taken in like a credulous Keeper! The Hosta has failed the trial, 
I say, and must be executed!" 


"So I have failed," said I, again disallowing others to speak before me, my gaze solely upon Kalir as I 
moved from the flap. "There were those awaiting me in the forests you say; very well, what of their track? 
In what manner did those who leave no track carry me swiftly enough to elude hunting Midanna? Where 
was I taken? How is it I was able to return without them? And should my full health be no more than 
pretense, for what reason do you call for execution rather than give the challenge? Speak again to me, 
Selga, and say that a hand other than Mida's soothed away what you gave." 

"So I have failed," said I, again disallowing others to speak before me, my gaze solely upon Kalir as I 
moved from the flap. "There were those awaiting me in the forests you say; very well, what of their track? 
In what manner did those who leave no track carry me swiftly enough to elude hunting Midanna? Where 
was I taken? How is it I was able to return without them? And should my full health be no more than 
pretense, for what reason do you call for execution rather than give the challenge? Speak again to me, 
Selga, and say that a hand other than Mida's soothed away what you gave." 

"Jalav of the Hosta," said Ennat, gently intruding in the quarrel between two war leaders with apology in 
her tone for the intrusion. I turned my head to look upon her, and saw that the wonder continued to 
possess her. "In what manner were you healed through Mida's intervention?" she asked, much longing to 
know in the question. "In your tale you spoke of the many times Mida's blessed aid was yours, yet no 
true explanation was vouchsafed us. Does she appear before you and lay hands upon you?" 

"No, Ennat," I replied, somewhat amused to see that the Keeper retained her place upon the leather. 
Well might it have been that she had no wish to stand taller than Mida's chosen, and that was indeed 
amusing. "It is Mida's gift which brings me healing," said I, raising my hand to touch my life sign. "Before 
my visit to Mida's Realm upon this world, my life sign was of wood, as are the life signs of other 
Midanna. Not only was its substance changed, it now protects my well-being as well as my soul. Its 
powers have proven themselves beyond doubt." 

"By the Sword and Shield!" breathed Ennat, no longer able to keep from rising and approaching me. Her 
eyes clung to my life sign and her hand reached out to touch fingers to it, yet did the hand halt just short 
of the Crystal-like hadat, as though such a touching would be sacrilege. "Surely was it Mida's doing that I 
failed to see sooner what life sign you wore," said she, raising her eyes to mine. "To have the truth of your 
words proven in such a manner was clearly necessary, as necessary as the trial which you survived. 
There still, of course, be no further trials." 

"There will be further trials!" came the snarl of Kalir, the sole objection to Ennat's statement. All joined 
me in looking upon the Selga, who was now even more taken with fury. "Have you, all of you, forgotten 
that this is a Hosta?" she demanded of her sister war leaders, her furious gaze touching all save Ennat. 
"Have you forgotten your anger at her insult, Renin? Or you your desire to face her, Ludir? Have the 
Hosta never spilled Samma blood, Tarit, or Sarda blood, Telin, or Sedda blood, Belat? Will the Sarra 
now greet the Hosta as sisters, Melid? Will the Sidda now crawl to the will of an enemy, Hirin? The trial 
was survived by trickery, sisters, of this I could not be more certain! We must continue to test her till her 
perfidy has been exposed!" 

"Or till you have succeeded in ending her, Kalir?" asked Renin the Sonna, her tone and expression sour. 
"Indeed did I find insult at her words, yet was that insult given so that my sisters and I might be spared 
Mida's anger and punishment. I may look upon one who has such concern for myself and my clan as no 
other thing than a sister." 

"And my desire to face her is no more," said Ludir the Simna. "Surely would I refuse to do so even 
should she now accept my challenge, leaving me with great dishonor. As Mida has sent her to us, how 
might I raise a blade to her, when it has been clearly demanded that I follow her? What once was is now 
no more, for Mida has shown us her will." 


"We have been shown no more than the Hosta's will," said Kalir, her fury having grown cold and deadly, 
her gaze moving briefly to the others before returning to me. "I cannot and will not believe that Mida 
would send an enemy to lead us, and so shall I prove to all of you. I, myself, shall face the Hosta come 
the new light, and when she falls before me, then shall the will of Mida be known! Blade to blade there 
may be no trickery, therefore shall the contest decide all; till then, I demand that she continue as a 
captive." 

"We have been shown no more than the Hosta's will," said Kalir, her fury having grown cold and deadly, 
her gaze moving briefly to the others before returning to me. "I cannot and will not believe that Mida 
would send an enemy to lead us, and so shall I prove to all of you. I, myself, shall face the Hosta come 
the new light, and when she falls before me, then shall the will of Mida be known! Blade to blade there 
may be no trickery, therefore shall the contest decide all; till then, I demand that she continue as a 
captive." 

"Wise indeed is Mida the golden," said I, giving to Kalir a shadow-smile indicating my extreme pleasure. 
"No more than one Midanna life shall be lost to the sword of her chosen, and that life one of little 
consequence. Come the new light we will meet, Kalir of the Selga, one war leader to another, skill 
against skill. Mida will be pleased to speak of your error when you have reached her Realm." 

"My First Question to Mida, when I have at last attained her Realm, will be upon the reason for your 
having attempted so foolish a deception," replied Kalir, no amusement whatsoever to be seen upon her. 
"As you will have preceded me there, she may well give the answering of it to you. Where is she to be 
confined for the darkness?" 

The last of her words were addressed to those who stood about the tent in uncertainty, those who knew 
not which way to bend in the gale. Ennat stood and gazed solely upon me, far less uncertainty within her 
than that which held the others, and when none other answered the demand of the Selga, it was she who 
took up the spear of challenge. 

"To confine one who is likely Mida's chosen is not a thing to be honorably done by Midanna," said she, 
speaking comfortably as that one among the clans who is closest to the goddess. "Jalav of the Hosta-who 
may well soon be Jalav of the Midanna-Will you accept the hospitality of our clans for this darkness, 
given freely despite the unavoidable hesitation we feel? Never before have we been faced with a decision 
such as this, therefore do we ask your forbearance till the matter of challenge is done." 

"Indeed is this matter unlike any to have gone before it," said I, pleased that it would not be necessary for 
me to refuse confinement. It was not then possible for me to accept such a thing and still retain what 
standing I had achieved in the eyes of the other war leaders, a fact undoubtedly well understood by Kalir; 
for no other reason would she have suggested such a thing. "The hospitality of the clans is an honor I 
accept with pleasure," said I, "an honor which shows the true generosity of the clans. Further words may 
be spoken between us once challenge has been answered. " 

"If challenge is answered!" snapped Kalir, nearly beside herself with rage. "To allow this Hosta freedom 
of the camp is to allow her to run from challenge once all eyes are no longer upon her! The new light will 
show the truth of my words!" 

Fury took the Selga from the tent in broad strides, a departure which left a silence tinged with 
embarrassment behind. Midanna were not wont to give such insult even to those who have been 
challenged, most especially not once the challenge has been accepted. I kept my eyes from the flap Kalir 
had used as though I knew naught of what she had said, and Ennat breathed a sigh in gratitude. 

"I must give apology for having naught save a male's tent to offer," said she, as though no interruption had 
occurred. "Should you prefer to remain here, as my guest, it will be my honor to have you, yet do I feel 


that the privilege of solitude has been earned by you. Will you speak your preference?" 

that the privilege of solitude has been earned by you. Will you speak your preference?" 

Ennat colored somewhat at my comment, exchanging quick glances with those others who stood about, 
yet was she relieved despite her embarrassment at what Kalir had done. Her embarrassment would have 
been considerably greater had I asked a place in her own tent, for the final challenge had not yet been 
answered. To say I would send Kalir to Mida's Realm was not to do the thing, and should I somehow 
fall instead, the Keeper would be left with the shame of having sheltered an enemy and a liar. To accept 
the hospitality of all the clans would be to spread the shame and thin it, so that none would feel it more 
than any other. 

"I will have my clan sisters see to the emptying of the tent," said Faris of the Summa, something of 
amusement to be seen in her eyes. "Should the males have no other tasks they must see to, they will be 
given the opportunity of pleasing my warriors, a far more difficult task than the last they were ordered to. 
Should they not prove pleasing, they will regret it." 

With a nod to me did Faris take herself out of the tent into the darkness and still-falling rain, and Renin of 
the Sonna gestured to the leather we stood upon. 

"As Ennat has offered you our hospitality and you have accepted," said she, "perhaps you will sit awhile 
and take daru with us. There are certain points in your tale I would have you speak more fully upon, such 
as the city of males which was taken by you and your warriors." 

"And Mida's Realm upon this world," said Ennat, an eagerness in the gaze she looked down upon me 
with. "Greatly would it please me to hear further upon that glorious place." 

Words came from the others as well, words of true interest and encouragement, therefore did I take seat 
upon the black leather and accept a pot of daru from the male who brought it me, then began to speak 
more fully upon the things I had done and seen. Perhaps two hind passed in such a way, the daru 
warming me to these warriors who would soon be sisters, and then did Ennat hold up a hand to stem the 
latest queries which were about to be asked. 

"Sisters, it is my duty to remind all here that a challenge will be answered with the new light," said she, 
looking about from one war leader to the next. "Would it not be best if the war leader Jalav were to go 
now to take her rest?" 

"Ennat, she is not a warrior-to-be," laughed Ludir, looking upon the Keeper in amusement. "The Hosta 
will have no difficulty in answering the challenge." 

"Most especially as it is Kalir she faces," said Renin, a brief sourness crossing her features. "Had I been 
Selga, she would long since have forfeited the second silver ring, and her life as well. Much do I believe 
that her tongue has kept her sword more often idle than any other war leader known. I continue to find 
wonder that she brought herself to give challenge." 

"Her skill is not so poor that it might be discounted entirely," said Faris, who had long since returned from 
her errand, bringing with her my breech. My weapons continued to be absent, nor did any remark upon 
their whereabouts. They would be returned to me with the new light, and thereafter would they remain 
with me without question-were I to be victorious. "Kalir earned the second silver ring as did we all," said 
Faris, "facing the one who was war leader before her. Do any believe that Adiln was so poor a warrior 
that the doing was a mere nothing?" 


"Adiln was a warrior of skill," said Renin, her words slow and grudging, yet not to the detriment of Adiln. 
"I would not take the worth of the doing from Kalir, yet do I continue to see her as-less." 

"Adiln was a warrior of skill," said Renin, her words slow and grudging, yet not to the detriment of Adiln. 
"I would not take the worth of the doing from Kalir, yet do I continue to see her as-less." 

"Not in the kalod I stood as war leader," said I, finishing the daru in my own pot. "Before that, while still 
a warrior, my clan and the Selga met with Adiln as war leader. Adiln, it seemed to me, was indeed a 
warrior of skill." 

"Therefore would it undoubtedly be wise of all to seek their tents," said Ennat, rising to her feet to look 
about her once again. "She who sleeps beyond first light may well find the battle done when she finally 
arises-or the best of it already begun." 

"Should it be the Hosta who sleeps past first light, we have naught to fear," said Ludir with a laugh, yet 
did she first sit and then bring herself to standing. I, too, rose, as did the others, for it was clear the 
Keeper desired solitude, and we all had already swallowed much daru. 

Those eight war leaders who remained insisted upon accompanying me to the colorless male tent which 
had been made mine, before trotting away through the heavily falling rain to their own tents. I shook 
Mida's tears from my hair as I looked about the now-empty tent, seeing that no more than two candles 
had been left alight when the males had been taken from it. In no manner was it as fine as the tent which 
was mine among my own clan's home tents, nor was the green of the Hosta to be seen on any part of it; 
nevertheless did the tent seem to welcome me, as one who would soon be fully one with those about her, 
one who occupied the tent by right. A goodly amount of provender and a skin of daru had been left for 
me, undoubtedly by the Summa who had taken the males, and in truth was I more greatly pleased to see 
the provender than the daru. Drink had I had aplenty in the Keeper's tent, yet provender had not been 
offered me. Undoubtedly was it the distraction of my tale which had caused the oversight, yet was I 
pleased to have it so easily corrected. I walked to the place the provender had been put, sat myself 
before it, then began to heal my hunger. 

When I'd had all I wished, I took a swallow or two of the daru, then extinguished the candles and lay 
myself upon the tent floor. The sound of heavily falling rain was pleasant to hear in the silence of a tent in 
darkness, and it was my intention to lie listening to it the while I considered how quickly I would take 
these clans of Midanna from their visiting place to the city of Bellinard. Best would be to leave as quickly 
as possible, and yet was it necessary to recall that Aysayn undoubtedly led the Sigurri toward the same 
destination. I knew not whether it would be wisest to seek out the Sigurri or attempt to avoid them, for I 
knew not how warriors in large numbers would rub along with males of their sort. I moved somewhat 
upon the tent floor, attempting to gather my scattered thoughts. Of a sudden the tent felt extremely close, 
bringing a leadenness to my body as well as to my mind, and although I strove to turn to my side and then 
rise to my knees, I was unable to do so. Upon my back I continued to lie on the tent floor, all beginning 
to move slowly about me, and then did the darkness grow deeper. 

". . . sleeps as deeply as we wished her to," came a very soft voice, drawing me part way out of the 
darkness which surrounded me alone. "I will take her life sign now, and then are you three to carry her to 
the village. When all is seen to, return to your tents and speak not a word upon what was done." 

"As you command, Kalir," replied another voice, equally as soft yet not equally as sure. "As you say she 
is an impostor we shall not doubt you, and yet the other war leaders . . . " 

"Are fools!" snapped the first voice, fury to be heard. "It has been left to my efforts alone to see to the 


honor of us all! Take the low sednet from my sight as quickly as you are able!" 

honor of us all! Take the low sednet from my sight as quickly as you are able!" 

Again the darkness receded somewhat as the wet, half-mud of the ground struck me, bringing me a 
far-off sense of pain. The sound of gandod-hooves came, lessening quickly as though there were those 
who rode away, and then were there large hands upon my arms, turning me to my back. 

"Well, well, the wenches have cast out another," came the voice of a male, one who seemed well 
pleased. "Though this one seems older than the others, also is she considerably more comely." 

"This torchlight shows little beyond mud and rain," said another male voice, one less pleased than the first. 
"For what reason was she not brought during the light, as were the others, and for what reason is she 
unbound?" 

"What need to bind one whose senses are afloat?" asked the first male, his hand to my face attempting in 
vain to shake me to full awareness. "When she has returned to herself we will have the usual difficulty 
with her, therefore shall we ourselves bind her. It will be some feyd before she is tamed." 

"I will see it sooner than that," said the second, great annoyance in his tone. "I will not have this village 
disrupted with screams and weeping and refusals, as it has been in the past. Come the new light . . ." 

The voice, so very full of insistences, ceased to beat against my ears as I was lifted from the ground, for 
again the darkness had come to claim me. 

CH 11. Unexpected escape-end unexpected bathe 

I lay bare upon the dirt floor of a wooden dwelling, my wrists bound behind me, my ankles tight with 
leather, fury flooding me so strongly that I rolled about, attempting to free myself. When my senses had 
returned the new light had already come, the new light of a fey I was to have faced challenge. I knew at 
once that it was Kalir who had seen to my absence, and had she then been before me and I free, I would 
have attacked even had I been weaponless and she well armed. My hair snarled beneath me as I fought 
the leather which kept me from seeing to a matter of honor, leather which belonged to those of the village 
I had been given to. Clearly had they been given other times those who were not able to be true 
Midanna, those who were brought to the dwellings of males so that they might be taught to serve as city 
slave-women. Now did these village males believe me to be one such, and had bound me to keep me 
from running from them in terror at the thought of my new life. No terror of that sort gripped me, yet did 
my soul shrink in horror at the thought of continuing unable to answer the challenge which had been given 
me. I lay bound among those who thought me theirs, those who had no knowledge of the visiting place I 
had come from. How then, even when I had freed myself, was I to return from whence I had come? The 
trail of those who had brought me was long gone beneath the relentless rains; how was I to return to face 
challenge? These were the unanswered demands which set me to thrashing about, yet did the thrashing 
bring no answers. 

Perhaps two hind passed into the new fey, and none came to look upon their captive. The room I lay in 
contained three small windows, high in the wooden walls, useless for escape yet large enough to show 
that Mida's tears no longer fell. All along one wall stood large round wooden holders of some sort, the 
contents closed well within so that the liquid might not flow free unintentionally, yet not closed so tightly 
that I was unable to detect the odor of unbrewed daru. Large was that amount of daru, nearly enough for 
all of those who normally dwelled in a village of this sort, and I knew not why it would be kept so in a 
single dwelling. Strange were those of villages, nearly as strange as those of the cities, all as strange as 


males were no matter where found. Again I moved upon the dirt floor, attempting to control my growing 
annoyance, and the latch upon the single door rose as the door was pushed open. Males entered, four 
mature males and three who seemed not long come to the state, and beyond them was not the open of 
trees and skies, but another, larger room of the dwelling. The lack of sight of the open brought me 
sudden, unreasoning anger, causing me to struggle again as the males closed the door behind them and 
came to stand above me. 

males were no matter where found. Again I moved upon the dirt floor, attempting to control my growing 
annoyance, and the latch upon the single door rose as the door was pushed open. Males entered, four 
mature males and three who seemed not long come to the state, and beyond them was not the open of 
trees and skies, but another, larger room of the dwelling. The lack of sight of the open brought me 
sudden, unreasoning anger, causing me to struggle again as the males closed the door behind them and 
came to stand above me. 

"Release me at once!" I snapped, sending my anger to this coldly disapproving male with both voice and 
eye. "I am a warrior of Mida, a thing you should be well familiar with, male! Release me or face the 
consequences which will surely come." 

"You are now no more than a wench of this village, girl," replied the male, scorn and a greater annoyance 
showing strongly in his eyes. "You have been sent away from those other wenches forever, for you have 
not proven worthy of remaining with them. We, however, shall not send you away, for there shall ever be 
uses a female may be put to. You will be taught to obey and to serve your betters, and these things you 
will learn quickly if you wish to avoid punishment. How long have you known the use of men?" 

"Your understanding is as deep as that of all males," said I with a sound of disdain, paying no mind to the 
question which had been put to me. "I am not a cast-off, proven unworthy of warriorhood, I am a war 
leader who has foolishly allowed herself to fall victim to one who fears to face her. You do not now 
concern yourself with warriors-to-be who shall never be, male. I am a full warrior and war leader, one 
who will take vengeance for any insult now offered me." 

"You are a young female bound helpless at the feet of men," said the male, the remorselessness in his tone 
turning him blind to any other view of the matter. "No matter what place you held before, no matter how 
high you believed your position to be, you are now no more than any other wench in this village, and in 
many ways a good deal less. This truth you had best accustom yourself to, girl, else shall your kalod here 
be filled with naught save pain." 

"The girl is surely frightened at having been abandoned by her own, Filosel," said another of the males, his 
voice soothing, his manner kindly. "Perhaps it would be best if we were to leave her in peace for now, so 
that she might become accustomed to her new lot." 

"This arrogant varaina feels no fright, man," said the other, scornfully. "See the silver rings in each of her 
ears, confirming the boast of her former importance. One such as she feels no fear of men, for ever has 
she had armed wenches behind her when she faced them down. It has not yet come to her that she no 
longer has such overwhelming advantage, nor has she been taught the true strength of men. You must 
recall that war leaders take, never are they, themselves, taken. She is not untouched, as were the others, 
therefore may she be quickly taught her new place. Would you have us leave her to her arrogance, and 
thereby increase the difficulty of whichever man of our village claims her?" 

"Perhaps you are correct," sighed the other male, a faint sadness in him. "It would indeed be considerably 
more cruel to allow her to believe she may have her own will here as she did in her former life. It simply 
disturbs me to look upon her so, naked and bound, for she greatly resembles my own daughter." 

"This one is daughter to no man," said Filosel abruptly. "Is there shame in her eyes for the manner in 
which her entire body has been exposed to the sight of men? Does she agonize over such exposure, 


knowing well what the sight of her is likely to cause a man to do? No father had she to speak of these 
things to her, therefore must she be taught by other means the need to cover herself at all times. We 
avoid much difficulty, both for ourselves and the wench, by doing as we now do." 

knowing well what the sight of her is likely to cause a man to do? No father had she to speak of these 
things to her, therefore must she be taught by other means the need to cover herself at all times. We 
avoid much difficulty, both for ourselves and the wench, by doing as we now do." 

"Then we may begin with no further delay," said the male Filosel, a heavy satisfaction now upon him, an 
anticipation of enjoyment glittering in the dark of his eyes. "You must know, girl, that to show yourself to 
men in such a brazen fashion is to invite the rousing of their lusts and passions, a doing which will bring 
you no pleasure and considerable pain. These young men will teach you the consequences of exhibiting 
yourself, for they will do what any young men would do, given such provocation. The man who chooses 
you for his own will do more, for you will belong to him and he may do as he wishes with that which 
belongs to him. Think upon how you may please him, in the hind to come, so that he will not allow such a 
thing to be done to you again-and may perhaps be persuaded to give you pleasure rather than 
punishment. The time spent will not be wasted." 

With a nod of his head and a glance, the male then gathered the other three older males and led them out. 
Then, the three who had been left grinned down upon me. 

"Oh, see how large her breasts are," said one with light hair and eyes, his words nearly a croon as his 
gaze caressed me. "Never before have I seen breasts so large!" 

"Never before have you seen breasts of any sort," retorted a second, this one dark of hair and eye, who 
wet his lips repeatedly beneath an unwavering gaze. "The whipping we were given for attempting to 
watch the women and girls bathe in the stream kept us both from it." 

"That was when you were boys," said the third, who seemed somewhat older than the others. "Now that 
you have become men and will soon seek women of your own, you must know what you are about with 
them. Look here." 

This third male crouched beside me, the his eyes amused, and put the flat of his hand to my belly. I 
moved in anger against the leather which held me still for so insulting a touch, and the young male 
laughed. 

"Wenches are aware of the nearness of a man no matter where they are touched," said he, speaking to 
the other two yet looking only upon me. "The softness of their skin will draw that touch and they, as 
though caressed intimately, will prepare themselves to receive him." 

His hand upon me was completely unmoving, as inert and unknowledgeble as his words, his eyes seeking 
the heat which he clearly believed would quickly begin to rise. Though I no longer wore my life sign it 
was as though I retained it still, for I felt no desire for these clumsy, gawking children of villages. Was it 
their intention to raise interest in me, they would be some time in the doing. 

"She scarcely seems prepared for us, Lediald," said the darker-haired male, bending somewhat where he 
stood beyond where the male Lediald crouched, his tone greatly unsure. "Where are the indications of 
arousal I have heard spoken of?" 

"She seeks to put us off, Saladur," replied Lediald, his words filled with a greater assurance than his eyes. 
"She fears what we mean to do, you see, and uses that fear to keep arousal from her flesh. We, 
however, shall not allow her to continue on so. You and Nergalis may also touch her, in any manner you 
please." 


Greatly elated seemed the two younger males, and eagerly did they come nearer to where I lay before 
going to their knees and putting hands upon me. Easily might it be seen through the colored cloth of their 
body wraps that their own excitement was high, yet was I given naught save annoyance through their 
gropings. For a hand of reckid did the touching continue with naught save panting to break the silence, 
and then did he called Lediald speak. 

Greatly elated seemed the two younger males, and eagerly did they come nearer to where I lay before 
going to their knees and putting hands upon me. Easily might it be seen through the colored cloth of their 
body wraps that their own excitement was high, yet was I given naught save annoyance through their 
gropings. For a hand of reckid did the touching continue with naught save panting to break the silence, 
and then did he called Lediald speak. 

Roughly did the male push aside the other two, move to my ankles, then begin to remove the leather 
upon them with short, angry movements. When he at last pulled the leather from me I attempted to kick 
at those who looked upon me as theirs, yet were they prepared for such a doing and quickly captured 
my just-freed ankles. The male Lediald put himself between my widely held legs, opened his body wrap, 
then approached me to thrust within. His attempt to give me further pain was only partially successful, for 
my body quickly saw to its own protection. Much did I anticipate a doing such as the one of the males of 
the clans, or that of the Sigurri males who had brought me to the Caverns of the Doomed, therefore did I 
attempt to brace myself against lengthy assault; consider my surprise when these village males, first 
Lediald and then the others, each found release in no more than a matter of a few reckid! When the last 
of the three withdrew after a performance barely begun, I looked upon each of them, no more than a few 
kalod younger than I, and could not hold back my laughter. So here was the reason for the dissatisfaction 
of village and city females! To be bound to males of such inadequacy was reason for a great deal more 
than dissatisfaction! I threw my head back and laughed as I had not laughed in some time, and that 
despite the vengeance I knew the males would take. The pain my amusement would bring me was 
scarcely to be regretted; far better to show these useless, foolish males my true opinion of them. 

Indeed were the three taken with shame and anger, yet was the pain I had anticipated scarcely brought 
forth. A few pinchings and slaps were produced, and much growling and complaints, however such 
feeble attempts were unable to diminish my amusement. Again and again did the three touch me all about, 
attempting to raise my desire and their own, yet even their own arousal refused to come forth. The more 
earnestly they made the attempt, the more steadfastly did their bodies refuse them, much as though they 
were captured males among the clans who were filled with great fear. Such males were useless without 
the sthuvad drug having been fed them, and so did these males prove to be to themselves. Hind passed in 
the time of their attempts, hind filled with shame and frustration for them, boredom and discomfort for 
me, yet little else of any sort. The males could not bring me to desire for them, nor themselves to desire 
for me; the two younger did indeed come to tears and the third to cursing, yet naught else occurred. 
When at last, in heavy misery-filled silence they sat back from me and hung their heads, I became aware 
of the weariness which filled me. The dragged sleep I had been given had not been restful, therefore did 
natural sleep have little difficulty in finding me. 

The sound of the opening door brought me awake, also bringing me surprise. Darkness filled the 
dirt-floored room I lay in, a darkness now breached by the candle held by one of those who entered. 
Four males were there, the same four elder males who had come earlier with the younger three, and 
beyond them was I able to see the greater illumination in the larger room, and hear the low mutterings of 
many males in converse. I sat up as quickly as my still-bound wrists allowed, only then realizing that the 
leather had not been replaced upon my ankles, and the four males halted to look down upon me. 


"As the greater part of her arrogance has already been seen to, we may now give her to whichever man 
desires her," said the male who held the candle, he who was called Filosel. The satisfaction in his voice 
was thick indeed, yet was I unable to comprehend the reason for its presence. Had he not spoken with 
the younger males who had been left to see to me? Had they not told him of the failure they had found in 
their task? Two of those who accompanied Filosel came forward to raise me to my feet, and he who had 
held my left arm put his hands to the leather about my wrists. A brief moment saw the leather gone, yet 
the pain of movement would not be so easily seen to. I moved my arms forward for the first time in many 
hind, and the male Filosel chuckled. 

"As the greater part of her arrogance has already been seen to, we may now give her to whichever man 
desires her," said the male who held the candle, he who was called Filosel. The satisfaction in his voice 
was thick indeed, yet was I unable to comprehend the reason for its presence. Had he not spoken with 
the younger males who had been left to see to me? Had they not told him of the failure they had found in 
their task? Two of those who accompanied Filosel came forward to raise me to my feet, and he who had 
held my left arm put his hands to the leather about my wrists. A brief moment saw the leather gone, yet 
the pain of movement would not be so easily seen to. I moved my arms forward for the first time in many 
hind, and the male Filosel chuckled. 

The second room of the dwelling was indeed larger than the one which had held me since I had 
awakened. Many candles sat in sconces hung upon the wooden walls, illuminating the many small 
wooden platforms at which sat more than five or six hands of males. These males sat cross-legged upon 
the dirt floor with tall pots of unbrewed daru in their hands, and the sound of converse ceased when I 
was pulled before them. Many eyes took in my form, and the manner in which my breasts moved as I 
attempted to rub the pain from my arms, and then did the sound of their muttering return at a higher level. 
He who was called Filosel took the flame from the candle he held with a single breath, then brought one 
hand up in a gesture of silencing. 

"You now see the wench before you," said he when the greatest part of the sound of others had ceased. 
"She will be given to the most deserving of you who has no woman of his own. What number of you find 
interest in her?" 

A bare moment of hesitation passed and then, by ones and fives, did the seated males all put arms in the 
air. A great laughter arose from this doing, as though they made sport of the male Filosel, yet did Filosel 
show a smile of amusement and shake his head. 

"Never before have I seen so large a number of men in this village without women of their own," said he. 
"Shall I fetch those who believe they have men here before putting the question again?" 

"No!" came the shouts of many males amid much laughter, and then were many arms withdrawn till no 
more than four were left. This number was more to Filosel's liking, and again he nodded. 

"You men each have need of a woman, and find desire for this one," said he, looking one by one upon 
the four. "You must know that she is wild yet, and badly in need of taming. Should any of you not feel up 
to such a thing, you may withdraw your request." 

"Withdrawal is scarcely a thing to be considered with a wench such as that," said one of the four, a large, 
brown-haired male filled with amusement. "First does one contemplate penetration, and only then, after a 
good deal of doing, is withdrawal to be considered." 

Laughter rose all about at the words of this male, heavy laughter filled with ridicule for she who stood 
before them. Anger rose in me at such foolishness, and I straightened as I looked upon the male who had 
spoken, sending the sharpness of my gaze to him. 

"Your concept of a good deal of doing must surely be the equal of a full three hands of reckid," said I, 
allowing a lazy drawl to come to my voice. "Village males are clearly capable of no more of a doing than 


that--else would they be accepted for service to Midanna." 

that--else would they be accepted for service to Midanna." 

"So, you believe yourself still in a position to command men and give them insult, eh, wench?" he 
demanded, his own head held high as he spoke. "For too long have we found it necessary to accept the 
sneers and posturings of savage females, a doing which is no longer necessary with you! You will be 
taught to go to your knees before men, to serve them without complaint, to speak only when spoken to, 
and then with naught save deference! In such a manner shall we regain some of our own, with one of 
theirs to teach the meaning of humiliation to!" 

"Humiliation is easily given to a captive, male," said I, taking no note of the blaze of fury in his eyes as I 
folded my arms across my chest, the word "savage" twisting me about within as ever it had done. "Not as 
easily accomplished is the regaining of one's honor from those who have taken it. The facing of an armed 
warrior would accomplish this end for you, yet have you clearly the stomach for no more than the facing 
of unarmed captives. Never will you regain any part of that which you have so easily given up, male, no 
matter the pain and shame you see fit to inflict upon others. Only in honorable doings does one find honor 
itself, a thing those in this village have yet to learn." 

"How boldly speaks the brave Midanna, seeking to shame those she cannot hope to best," sneered the 
male above the growlings of fury and anger which rose all about, and then did he draw the dagger which 
hung belted at his waist. "Let us see how quickly words of apology may be made to come, words which 
may come quickly enough to save the tongue which speaks them. A tongueless woman takes only a little 
pleasure from a man, while giving him the priceless gift of her endless silence. The trade is one none here 
would refuse, I think." 

Now were there shouts of agreement as the male slowly began to approach me, moving past those who 
urged him on with high-burning approval. I quickly unfolded my arms as he neared, knowing he had not 
spoken in jest, yet was I seized again by those who had pulled me from my original room of capture. 
Each of my arms was taken by a male, an attempt to hold me still for that which would be done by 
another of their number, and abruptly did I recall each of the other times the strength of males had held 
me so. ***'!rile were males, intent upon no other thing than the shaming of warriors and the giving of 
pain, and without thought did the brightly blossoming fury within me take up the teaching I had been 
given. The ball of my sharply upswinging foot caught the male grasping the dagger in his manhood, 
bringing a scream to his throat as he dropped the weapon to clutch at himself and fall to the dirt of the 
floor. With barely an instant between movements did I lower my right leg and then kick out again, this 
time with my heel into him who held my right arm. That male, too, bent with a muffled shout, already 
having released my arm, the arm which moved with fisted hand and great speed toward the male on my 
left. Into the throat of the male did the fist go, the elbow prepared to follow in a backswing, yet did the 
second blow prove unnecessary. As my right arm was released so, too, was the left, allowing me to jump 
for and take up the dagger of the first male. Hands reached for me amid great shoutings and cursings, 
hands I slashed at blindly as I fought my way free of all those about me, and then did I stand with a wall 
at my back, a dagger in my fist, and a snarl of continued rage in my throat, looking upon a scene of 
chaos. 

All about, males stood and shouted in fury, shaking fists and glaring in blood insult. Those three I had 
seen to with my new learning continued to writhe upon the ground, the first emptying himself, the third 
struggling to bring breath into his body. Two other males held hands to bloody gashes, the leavings of the 
dagger I now had my fist wrapped about, and a hand of others stood nearer than the rest, seeking to 
gather their courage to leap upon me. He who was called Filosel stood among the five who attempted my 


recapture, and truly livid with rage was he. 

recapture, and truly livid with rage was he. 

A snarl of agreement came from those he stood among, and all began to approach me at once, spread 
out so that it would not be possible for me to reach them all with the dagger. One or two might fall to me, 
perhaps even three, but the others would surely break through despite the weapon I held. My fingers 
tightened about the hilt as I crouched lower, determined to take as many with me to the final darkness as 
possible, and then there came another voice, carrying easily above the din of the village males. 

"If it is gratitude you wish, you may have mine, providing you now halt where you are," it said, causing the 
males before me to whirl about. "I will be extremely grateful if we need not take the lives of any of you, 
for we have come for something other than slaying. Your village has no need of a captured hadat, while 
we desire no other thing. Release the wench to us, and we will take her and go. " 

"The wench?" demanded Filosel in outrage, the while I stared gape-mouthed at him who stood in the 
opened doorway at the far side of the room. No other than Aysayn was it, he who was called Sigurr's 
Shadow, he who now brought the Sigurri warriors to battle with the strangers. A large number of 
black-clad Sigurri warriors were to be seen behind him, all of whom stood taller than any village male, all 
of whom stood armed with sword as well as dagger. A smile of amusement touched Aysayn at the 
gawking stares from all about, and he raised his blond head beneath them. 

"Who are you?" demanded Filosel. "What do you do here in our village? And for what conceivable 
reason would you wish the possession of this she-savage?" 

"I do not care for your use of the term 'savage,' " said Aysayn. "The wench you thought to do with as you 
please is precious to me, a sister warrior I value most highly. I recommend that you step away from her, 
and that right quickly." 

A brief moment did Aysayn look about himself, his light eyes hard and without warmth, his left hand 
caressing the hilt of his sword, and then did he begin walking toward me, directly through the village 
males. No more than an instant did they hesitate and then were they backing from him, opening a clear 
path between us, casting uneasy glances upon the Sigurri who quietly entered to stand before the door. 
At last did I feel free to straighten from my crouch, and again Aysayn smiled as he halted before me. 

"I see Chaldrin has been engaged in teaching," said he, having glanced at those who littered the ground. "I 
must be sure not to challenge you again, for I value the life you returned in the Caverns. Have they 
harmed you?" 

Despite the lightness of his tone, his pale eyes glittered with the query, his palm again at the hilt of his 
sword. So strange was it, this concern from one who was only male, this support against those who were 
also male. Sister had he called me, aloud and unashamed before strangers and followers alike, a doing to 
make a warrior feel equally strange. 

"I am unharmed," I allowed, looking up into the light pools which looked down upon me. "Had your 
arrival been delayed it might perhaps have been otherwise, yet was your arrival not delayed. No other 
than they, themselves, have been harmed." 

"Had it been Mehrayn in my place, a great number more of them would have found harm," said he, 
putting a gentle palm to my face. "Were you brought here in naught save leg bands, or have you a 


covering to fetch?" 

covering to fetch?" 

"Have her covering brought at once," said Aysayn to Filosel, and that male made haste to gesture another 
to Aysayn's bidding. That other male moved quickly into the second, smaller room, and again Aysayn 
looked upon me. "Also is your life sign no longer hung about your throat." said he, a small narrowing to 
be seen about his eyes. "Is it, too, now in the possession of those in this village?" 

"My life sign is in the possession of another," said I, and the coldness in my voice caused disturbance 
among the village males. "She it was who was to have faced me in challenge at the new light of this fey, a 
war leader of Midanna who first gave challenge, then made certain that that challenge would not be 
answered. When I find her, she will discover that it would have been best to face me and fall the first 
time." 

"A not unreasonable attitude," agreed Aysayn, looking upon the male who had made haste to fetch my 
breech. I took the breech from him and put it on, and Aysayn gestured away the hovering male, who 
backed quickly with great relief. "When we leave here we may, if you wish, ride directly to the visiting 
place," said Aysayn. "It is perhaps two hind in distance from this village, and there we may take our rest 
for the balance of this darkness." 

"You know the location of the visiting place?" I asked sharply, jerking my head up to stare at Sigurr's 
Shadow. "How is it possible for you to know such a thing, and how was it possible for you to come 
here? I had meant to speak of this at a later time, without these others about, yet now . . . ." 

"Your original thought was sound," said Aysayn. "We may speak more easily as we ride." 

Though I truly wished to continue questioning him, I was able to see that Aysayn had reasons of his own 
to withhold his replies. With that in view I tied on my breech quickly, retrieved the dagger I had taken, 
then began moving wordlessly toward the door. No more than two steps had I taken, when Aysayn's 
hand came to my shoulder. 

"You need not take that weapon with you," said he, gesturing toward the dagger I held. "I was advised to 
bring sword and dagger with me, for your own would not be available. It seems I was correctly 
advised." 

"Advised!" I repeated in exasperation. Allowing the single word to stand for all, then, I turned my eyes 
toward the male from whom I had taken the dagger, held it by the point for throwing, then raised my arm. 
The male, who continued to lie painfully curled upon the ground, saw the movement of my arm, paled 
even further than he already had, then hid his face and head with his own arms. Surely did he believe that 
I meant to return his weapon by embedding it in his flesh, yet only males such as he acted so toward 
those who were unarmed. The dagger struck the ground and entered it with the force of my throw, half 
blade deep not far from the quivering male, and then I was able to turn for the last time and leave that 
place. Aysayn followed behind, chuckling, and none sought to bar our way. 

Without was the darkness fresh and clean, the air sweet despite the fact that the rains had been gone for 
many hind, perhaps even for the entire fey. I took the swordbelt and dagger given me, donned them and 
mounted the kan indicated as mine, then rode beside Aysayn before his Sigurri as we left the village. No 
longer did I wait than till we had chosen our direction through the forests, and then did I turn to the dark 
form who rode to my left. 

"Now you may speak, and I would have you do so quickly-brother. In what manner were you able to 


know of my need-and the place I had been taken?" 

know of my need-and the place I had been taken?" 

"Simply said, my knowledge came from a man called S'Heernoh, a-Walker who rides with two of my 
warriors and one of yours," said Aysayn, the dark form of his face turned toward me. "I was told that the 
mist which covered the Snows when you and he attempted to walk them disappeared as suddenly as it 
had come, after you had been gone a short time. He walked the Snows alone, discovered the difficulty 
you would have, used the Snows to discover our location in the forests, then all four rode to intercept our 
host. As luck would have it we were nearly upon them without knowing of it, and at their urging we all 
continued on, then I with a small number of my warriors rode to your assistance. There is more to come, 
this S'Heernoh believed, yet was he still uncertain as to the specific difficulty to be faced. He had not had 
the time to pursue what he had seen only glancingly, yet has he now been given the time. He will surely 
have more to speak of when we have returned." 

Though the male was no more able to see me than I him, I nevertheless nodded to acknowledge his 
words in the midst of my distraction. Apparently S'Heernoh's contention had been correct, and the 
Snows has been barred to me over some particular unforseen circumstance. My time of capture in the 
village had not been unduly harsh, although I had been given pain by Kalir's males, I felt that the time of 
difficulty was yet before me, perhaps in what S'Heernoh had only glimpsed. I would speak with him as 
soon as we returned to where they waited, and then perhaps the last of the mist would be blown away. 

"I have not had the opportunity to ask sooner, therefore shall I do so now," said Aysayn, breaking gently 
into my thoughts. "Mehrayn and Chaldrin-were they left some place other than where the four who came 
to us were left? For what reason did they fail to remain together?" 

"Mehrayn and Chaldrin insisted upon accompanying three Midanna warriors," said I, taking a deep 
breath of the air of forest darkness. "As free males are not permitted to enter Midanna lands, it was 
necessary that they beg to follow a war leader, giving each his word that he would obey her in all things. 
At this moment they undoubtedly give pleasure to whichever warriors chose them for the darkness, for 
they are bound to be obedient in such a way." 

"Mehrayn?" said Aysayn, a slowly dawning delight in his voice. "He begged to follow a war leader and 
gave a vow of obedience? He now gives pleasure to a wench who commands him, her will above his? I 
do not mean to doubt your word, wench, yet this I find somewhat difficult to believe." 

"In no other manner was he able to accompany me, and insistently did he refuse to remain behind," said I 
with a shrug. "His manner of service during the last of our journey was somewhat short of acceptable, yet 
do I feel that the punishment given him did much to correct the fault." 

"Service," laughed Aysayn, true enjoyment in the sound, and then did he abruptly lose his amusement. 
"You-gave him-punishment?" he asked, a certain disquiet in the words. "You could not have-What sort 
of punishment was he given?" 

"By my command, Chaldrin switched him for insolence," I replied, puzzled by Aysayn's sudden concern. 
"Was I to allow him to continue in insolence, in defiance of my authority? It was he who insisted upon 
giving oath to a Midanna; was I to allow him to believe the doing was idle?" 

"Ah, Sigurr, now must you truly give her your protection," said the male with a sigh. "You have erred, my 
girl, in believing Mehrayn a man who might be done in such a manner. I have no doubt that his feelings for 


you drove him to make such a desperate vow, and those feelings are undoubtedly unchanged. The point 
he is sure to dispute with you is the difference between a man who yearns to follow and obey a woman, 
and a man who takes desperate measures to follow and protect a woman. The two are not the same, 
sister, which I fear you will learn when once this matter of your leadership is done. You should not have 
given him a slavey's punishment." 

you drove him to make such a desperate vow, and those feelings are undoubtedly unchanged. The point 
he is sure to dispute with you is the difference between a man who yearns to follow and obey a woman, 
and a man who takes desperate measures to follow and protect a woman. The two are not the same, 
sister, which I fear you will learn when once this matter of your leadership is done. You should not have 
given him a slavey's punishment." 

"You gave him punishment for disobeying you when he was free to do as he pleased?" Aysayn asked 
very softly, a clear attempt to keep insult from the words. "I had thought you possessed of a greater 
sense of fairness than that. And he could not have remained behind and also remained unpunished, 
wench. To see the woman of your heart ride off alone into great danger is a harsher punishment for a man 
than any other might conceivably be. Were you unaware of that truth?" 

"Then it would seem he has little cause for complaint," I replied stiffly. "That he was allowed the lesser 
punishment is scarcely a point for contention-should such foolishness be looked upon by him as truth. 
The final truth he must learn is that I am a war leader of Mida; any male who wishes to follow me must 
do as Mehrayn has given his word to do for only a short time: absolutely unquestioning and with absolute 
obedience. It is then my privilege to allow or disallow the thing." 

"You have come to the decision to drive him from you, then," said Aysayn, a deep sadness clear in the 
heaviness of his tone. "I believe you know as well as I that Mehrayn would find it impossible to live such 
a life. What you have failed to take into consideration, wench, is that the Sword is unlikely to allow 
matters to rest so. Do you deem it wise to give him no choice save to carry you off?" 

"Such a choice is scarcely likely to be allowed him," I replied in a mutter, weary of the topic of 
conversation. "That I am Mida's is deterrent enough; that he is now also Mida's is more to the point, for 
she will allow him no such doing, no more, perhaps, than the thought of it. And I am not one who takes 
the male of another without let and without challenge. The male Mehrayn has done well putting himself 
beyond all mortal females. May he joy in the state." 

In seeming confusion did Aysayn attempt to speak further upon what had been said, yet was I 
determined to have no more of it. Our kand found difficulty in picking their way through the darkness of 
the forests, therefore did increasing the pace we held to cause all to give greater attention to where we 
rode than to speech. We were indeed a pair of hind from where the balance of the Sigurri waited with 
Ilvin and S'Heernoh, and more than once during our journey through the darkness did Aysayn mutter the 
deeply felt wish that Mehrayn were immediately available to resume his place at the head of the Sigurri 
host. The movement and disposition of so many warriors was seen to effortlessly by the Sword, 
awkwardly and with much effort by the Shadow. Had Mehrayn's need to ride ahead not been so great, 
never would Aysayn have attempted even temporary leadership-words, I felt, which were an attempt to 
reopen already closed issues. I gave my attention to the forests all about, to the distant screams of 
hunters and the desperate scurryings of prey, and allowed my silence to speak for me. No longer was 
Jalav plagued by a need for males, a blessing far too long in the coming. 

The end of our journey saw us nearly to the visiting place, at a location which had been deemed by 
Aysayn to be of sufficient distance from the clans that battle would not be provoked by male presence. I 
saw at once that his concept of sufficient distance was scarcely adequate to keep the outlying sentries 
from learning of their presence, and although they had come to that place just after darkness had fallen, I 


was greatly surprised that battle had not already been joined. I looked frowningly about as we rode 
through many, many sets of resting Sigurri warriors up to the fire where those of my former traveling set 
awaited, seeing no sign of any who should have been at the least keeping the intruders under observation, 
then had my attention been forcibly taken by S'Heernoh's extreme agitation. 

was greatly surprised that battle had not already been joined. I looked frowningly about as we rode 
through many, many sets of resting Sigurri warriors up to the fire where those of my former traveling set 
awaited, seeing no sign of any who should have been at the least keeping the intruders under observation, 
then had my attention been forcibly taken by S'Heernoh's extreme agitation. 

"What foolishness do you speak?" I demanded, looking down upon him without dismounting. "The 
gray-clad ones are cowards, and totally without skill. Were they so witless as to attack Midanna, they 
would none of them survive." 

"They attack with countless jars containing Sigurr's Breath!" snarled the Sigurri Gidain, he who had also 
been of my traveling set. "The jars are thrown down and broken near the wenches and in their tents, 
freeing the vapors which the wenches have no knowledge of. One breath and the strongest warrior falls 
senseless, easy prey to those who wear moistened cloth over noses and mouths! The vapors are 
insufficient to slay them, merely do they render them senseless! Those followers of abomination have 
come for slaves, and Dotil and Wedin are among those marked to be enslaved! We must ride to their 
assistance at once!" 

Stunned understanding came to me then, for I well remembered the cavern of the gray-clad males and 
the scent I had detected which Chaldrin had named Sigurr's Breath. It had been for the vapors that the 
males had chosen the cavern, and those others mentioned at times by the gray-clad ones we had 
encountered were those who had come ahead, together and prepared, for the taking of a large number of 
the females they sought to serve them. Now they attacked Midanna warriors with their coward's 
weapon, and those warriors fell before them! I spoke quickly to Aysayn, bidding him gather a larger 
force than those few who had ridden with him to the village, then turned again to Gidain. 

"For that reason has their attack only just begun?" I demanded, aware of the manner in which Aysayn 
roused set after set of his encamped males, and sent them running to their kand. "Their arrival in this place 
must necessarily have been much sooner than ours. For what reason did they fail to strike sooner?" 

"Clearly must the rains have kept them from it," said S'Heernoh, speaking when Gidain scowled in lack of 
knowledge. "The moisture of heavy rains would render the vapors harmless without the tents, and as for 
within-" His shoulders moved uncertainly. "-Within they should have had no difficulty whatsoever, no 
matter the presence of rain without. " 

"Save that in the rains," said I, "the tents could not be approached without alerting the sentries, who were 
themselves beneath the tears of Mida and therefore untouchable by the vapors. Should even a single 
sentry have been able to cry a warning before being stain, the entire camp would have been roused and 
the males would have found death rather than slaves. This darkness must surely be the first without the 
tears of Mida since the arrival of the males." 

"You are surely correct, lady," said S'Heernoh, his upturned eyes showing awareness of the fact that he 
alone now remained before me. Ilvin and Gidain and Rinain, the second Sigurri warrior who had ridden 
with us, had seen how quickly Aysayn's force formed, therefore had they run to their own kand to 
prevent their being left to watch the departure of others. "You must guard yourself in the coming 
encounter, lady," said S'Heernoh, his voice soft with an odd manner of concern. "Certain victory has not 
yet been determined for you, therefore must you be alert for a-slip in the Snows." 


"I will be sure to guard myself amid these large numbers of males, S'Heernoh," said I, smiling somewhat 
as I loosened my blade in its scabbard, my kan dancing about with the hurry of all those about us. Then 
did I recall the questions I had for the male and began to speak the first, concerning the circumstance 
which I felt was yet before me, however the hurry of the Sigurri had at last produced results and all were 
prepared to ride. S'Heernoh stepped back with a hand raised in farewell as Aysayn regained my side, 
therefore did I turn from questioning and begin the short journey to battle. 

"I will be sure to guard myself amid these large numbers of males, S'Heernoh," said I, smiling somewhat 
as I loosened my blade in its scabbard, my kan dancing about with the hurry of all those about us. Then 
did I recall the questions I had for the male and began to speak the first, concerning the circumstance 
which I felt was yet before me, however the hurry of the Sigurri had at last produced results and all were 
prepared to ride. S'Heernoh stepped back with a hand raised in farewell as Aysayn regained my side, 
therefore did I turn from questioning and begin the short journey to battle. 

Odd indeed is the passage of time, scarcely ever flowing at a uniform rate, indeed, upon occasion, 
flowing at more than a single rate. In the midst of the joy of battle does one find this dual rate, the speed 
with which one's sword moves to guard one's flesh and end one's enemy amid the well-nigh leisurely flow 
of the battle itself-at times does individual combat slow to the rhythm of graceful posturing, and the 
balance of battle all about grows frantic with haste. The battle we joined then contained little joy, 
therefore was there naught of the smooth flow which brings pleasure, naught of equal meeting equal. Little 
more than butchering was there, causing the time to sit heavily upon us, quickly taking even the vengeful 
anger from us. I hacked and thrust my way through clamoring gray-clad males till I stood beside a lone, 
embattled warrior, a Sarda by the violet of her covering, her own blood and that of others smeared here 
and there upon her. Alone she had been able to do little more than hold her own; with my blade beside 
hers mere defense became concerted attack, and those who thought to end her were themselves ended, 
instead. With the last gray-clad male upon the ground, I quickly told the Sarda that those who wore 
black were allies and friends, therefore were they not to be set upon once battle was done. Oddly did 
she look upon me, as though I were returned from Mida's Blessed Realm, and then was she gone to aid 
others. I had no understanding of the reason for her strange manner, yet had I also no time to consider 
the point. There were others about the wide-spread camp in need of assistance, and this I began to see 
to with all haste. 

Much time passed with no less difficulty, the manner of battle fought by the gray-clad males sufficient to 
turn the stomach of any true warrior. Rarely, after their initial attempt to overwhelm, did any of their 
number stand and face what came, save for the times when many of them were able to fall upon 
considerably fewer of ours. Many torches were quickly extinguished by intent, so that the gray-clad ones 
were more easily able to slip away in the humid, overcast darkness. The torches were relit by the Sigurri, 
and then did we pursue the craven males deeper into the camp, at times pausing to fight, more often 
cornering and slaughtering. Well covered were we with the sweat of effort and frustration, yet did we 
continue to press the followers of the Oneness, so that they would not have opportunity to slay in anger 
those they would be unable to bring away with them as slaves. 

Ilvin had at first attempted to remain beside me, yet had she quickly gone off to spread the word of 
Sigurri assistance to those warriors who still stood. Gidain and Rinain, those two who had ridden with 
our set, had led a number of their brothers toward the not easily distinguished blue tents of the Summa, 
clearly seeking Wedin and Dotil. Aysayn, leading half our number, had taken the direction opposite to 
mine, leaving the balance of his warriors to prowl in my wake as I sought further prey. All about were 


there the unmoving bodies of warriors, most having been clearly taken from their tents, all seeming 
without life though most undoubtedly survived. The sight brought even greater upset to the Sigurri than it 
did to this Midanna, and wordless snarls accompanied their eager seeking of gray-clad enemies. For 
what reason they felt so, I knew not, the strangeness of Sigurri grew with each new thing one learned of 
them. 

there the unmoving bodies of warriors, most having been clearly taken from their tents, all seeming 
without life though most undoubtedly survived. The sight brought even greater upset to the Sigurri than it 
did to this Midanna, and wordless snarls accompanied their eager seeking of gray-clad enemies. For 
what reason they felt so, I knew not, the strangeness of Sigurri grew with each new thing one learned of 
them. 

"Look!" cried one of the warriors who accompanied me, drawing all eyes to the direction in which he 
pointed. "They think to elude us, and have even taken some of the wenches!" 

Indeed had the Sigurri spoken true. A distance from us in the darkness, only just discernible as shadows 
among the tents, a knot of males hastened away in the hopes of losing themselves and the burdens they 
carried, clearly intending flight with that which they had come for. The Sigurri immediately took to their 
heels in pursuit, full gladness upon them, undoubtedly thinking I followed in all haste. In other 
circumstances I would indeed have followed, yet was there another task first set to my hand. I turned 
with the torch I carried, went to the first of the tents, then began my search. 

Uncounted numbers of empty and only-Midanna-filled tents were behind me, with all battle sounds a 
good distance off, when I emerged from between tents toward those I had not yet investigated, to find an 
unexpected sight. More than a hand of gray-clad males, one holding a torch, attempted to corner a single 
male in colorless clan covering so that they might end him. Swords were tight in the fists of the gray ones 
the while their prey was weaponless, yet were there three gray-clad bodies upon the ground, mute 
testimony to the skill of him they wished to end. Wide leather was wrapped tight about the wrists of the 
broad, dark male, no more than a scratch or two marking his body, and desperate was the silence of 
those who surrounded him, the points of their swords weaving about in search of an opening to his 
vitals-

So large a number should surely have been able to best a solitary one, yet had Chaldrin taught them great 
respect for his skill. 

I thrust the butt of the torch I carried into the earth, then moved forward quickly toward the knot of those 
who sought to take the life of my brother. None had yet seen me, therefore did I raise my voice in the 
Hosta war cry as I neared, causing them to whirl about to face my attack. The paling of their visages was 
clear even in the light of the single torch, and then I was upon them, slashing all about with the strength of 
my anger. My edge took two in quick succession, drawing forth shrieks of mortal agony, and then did I 
beat aside the blade of a third and bury my sword in his belly, finishing him with a gurgling of quickly 
ended terror. No more than a moment did it take for me to wrench my blade free of the flesh it was 
buried in, yet that single moment saw many things occur. One of the remaining gray-clad male turned tail 
and ran, for Chaldrin had used the distraction of my attack to bend and arm himself from one of those 


who lay at his feet, preparing himself to join my attack. Two more hastily attempted to halt the Sigurri, 
and he who held the torch came swiftly nearer, a doing I had scarcely expected. More often did these 
gray-clad ones flee than close, and as I hastened my effort to free my sword from the stubbornly grasping 
flesh in which it was buried, the free arm of the torch male rose high and then came swiftly down, a 
shattering sound following the motion. At my feet lay the shards of some missile thrown by the male, and 
even as I looked upon them, all else faded from sight. 

who lay at his feet, preparing himself to join my attack. Two more hastily attempted to halt the Sigurri, 
and he who held the torch came swiftly nearer, a doing I had scarcely expected. More often did these 
gray-clad ones flee than close, and as I hastened my effort to free my sword from the stubbornly grasping 
flesh in which it was buried, the free arm of the torch male rose high and then came swiftly down, a 
shattering sound following the motion. At my feet lay the shards of some missile thrown by the male, and 
even as I looked upon them, all else faded from sight. 

A finger was thrust in my mouth, the liquid it was covered with reaching my tongue, the taste of cooled, 
brewed daru immediately bringing feeble movement to my inert blood. I stirred, became aware of the 
lenga pelt I lay upon and the near-leadenness of my limbs, and then were my head and shoulders raised 
and a skin put to my lips. I drank from the skin of daru, swallowing carefully, and only then was I able to 
open my eyes. In the dim glow of a not-distant fire was I able to see Chaldrin, his arm about my 
shoulders, his hand holding the skin of daru. I took a final swallow then drew my head back, and 
Chaldrin lowered me once more to the pelt. 

"It will be another moment or two before full life returns to you, girl," said he, one big hand smoothing the 
stray hair from my face. "I will, however, give you thanks now for having returned my life to me. It would 
soon have occurred to those sons of foulness to come at me together, rather than urging one or two of 
their number ahead of the pack. Had you not taken their eyes from me for sufficiently long so that I might 
take up a weapon, I would not have been able to finish the last of them after you fell. Should one pause 
to think upon it, the wisdom of the vow I gave to accompany you will prove itself quite evident. Had I not 
given that vow, you would not have been about to aid me in my time of need." 

Chaldrin's familiar chuckle sounded as I attempted to speak, yet had the last of the vapors not released 
me to a sufficiency for such a thing. I moved about upon the lenga pelt, striving to drive off the slowly 
receding lethargy, and Chaldrin recapped the skin he held, then put it aside. 

"By cause of the debt I owe you, wench, I shall now take my leave," said he, looking down upon me 
soberly from where he crouched beside me. "I have no doubt that this will prove for the best, therefore 
do I go with a gladness within me that has for some time been lacking. Your happiness is mine, sister, and 
for too long has such a state eluded us both. This forced slowing is my gift to you; see that you take full 
advantage of it." 

His hand came to my hair for a final time, the touch very gentle, and then he rose out of his crouch and 
turned away. It came to me then that I lay in a dwelling of some sort, for Chaldrin crossed to the door 
and departed by it, pulling it firmly to behind him. I had no understanding of what then occurred, yet did I 
know that I had no wish to remain where I had been left, in a place so very much enclosed. I struggled 
with greater strength, twisting my hair all about beneath me, then forced myself to sitting upon the pelt. 

"Go slowly, wench," came another voice, a deep voice I knew all too well, a voice which was clearly 
within the dwelling with me. "The vapors will release their hold upon you more easily with gentle first 
movements. You may accept my word that I know whereof I speak." 

The whirling brought to my vision cleared slowly as I sat unmoving upon the pelt, both arms locked tight 
and palms to the fur. Had I not sat that way I would surely have fallen, yet the clearing of my gaze did 
naught to quiet the churning of my thoughts. Mehrayn sat in the dwelling in which Chaldrin had left me, his 
wide back against the wall opposite to where I lay, his knees drawn up and his forearms resting upon 
them. He gazed upon me across the space which separated us, past the hearth which stood to my left 


and his right, and foolishly it came to me that he no longer wore the colorless clan covering which he had 
undoubtedly been given. He sat clad in the black body cloth of Sigurri, yet no weapons girded his waist. 

and his right, and foolishly it came to me that he no longer wore the colorless clan covering which he had 
undoubtedly been given. He sat clad in the black body cloth of Sigurri, yet no weapons girded his waist. 

The male he spoke of I called brother, too, although I doubted his honor. Had the male not left me there, 
with another male I had no wish to be with? Had he not used the difficulty which had come to me during 
battle on his behalf to bring me to a place I would not have come while fully conscious? No, such things 
were not the doings of one who was endlessly honorable, and most certainly would there be words 
between the male and myself over the thing when once we faced one another again. I took my palms 
from the lenga fur and discovered that the strength was rapidly returning to my body, therefore did I go to 
my knees, then forced myself erect. I was still dizzy, but less so, and quickly did it pass into nothingness. 
With this in view I began to move toward the door Chaldrin had used, in the process making another 
discovery. The sword and dagger I had been given were gone, leaving naught upon me save my breech 
and leg bands. Had I not doubted Chaldrin earlier, I would surely have done so then. 

"You need not waste the effort, wench," came the voice of Mehrayn, following me to the door while the 
male himself remained unmoving. "It may not be opened save from without, a doing Chaldrin will see to 
with the new light. This abandoned farmstead has been closed tight with wood, perhaps against the return 
of the former occupants. There are matters to be discussed between us, and I will see them discussed 
without interruption." 

My hand upon the door latch proved the truth of the male's words, for pull as I might, I could not make it 
move. And there was clearly no other means of departing from the dwelling. Wood did indeed cover 
both of the windows, and naught was there to batter at it with save the dust upon the floors. None would 
return to that place, I knew, for those warned off by Midanna returned at peril of their lives. The anger I 
felt grew greater still, therefore did I retrace my steps to the window which was not far from where I had 
lain. Perhaps a loosened corner might be found, through which I would find it possible to. 

"I am more than aware of the fact that you have not yet acknowledged my existence, wench," said 
Mehrayn, a growing trace of annoyance in his tone. "Best would be that you do so quickly, for what 
patience I had has long since been spent. We are here to exchange words and reach an understanding; 
attempting to hold to a childish silence will avail you naught." 

I tossed my head to rid myself of the strands of hair which attempted to circle my arms, finding the dim 
cool of the dwelling less pleasant with each passing hand of reckid. My task among the enemy clans had 
not yet been completed, yet had such a consideration failed to keep the males from doing as they wished. 
I turned from the window and made again for the door, thinking there might perhaps be a board loose 
there which the males had overlooked, yet was I halted perhaps three paces from my goal. 

"Enough of this!" snapped Mehrayn, his big hand on my arm pulling me about to face. his now evident 
anger. I had not heard him rising from his place at the wall, yet was it equally true that I cared not what he 
did. "You will not leave this place till you have gained my permission," he growled. "Therefore need you 
waste no further time upon fruitless search! Come and sit with me, for there are many things we ...." 


With cold anger I used the knowledge given me by Chaldrin to pull my arm from his grip with a single 
thrust. Startlement flared briefly in his green eyes and then did the anger return. His hand came again to 
seize me, much as I had thought it would, yet when I attempted to block the seizing arm and deliver a 
kick as I had been taught to do, naught else occurred as expected. In some manner was my block 
avoided and my kick itself blocked, and then was I whirled about, both of my wrists taken, and my back 
up against the front of the male with his arms wrapped tightly about me. In fury I struggled against being 
held so, attempting to strike backward with my head and also to kick backward, yet were these attempts 
avoided as easily as my first. 

With cold anger I used the knowledge given me by Chaldrin to pull my arm from his grip with a single 
thrust. Startlement flared briefly in his green eyes and then did the anger return. His hand came again to 
seize me, much as I had thought it would, yet when I attempted to block the seizing arm and deliver a 
kick as I had been taught to do, naught else occurred as expected. In some manner was my block 
avoided and my kick itself blocked, and then was I whirled about, both of my wrists taken, and my back 
up against the front of the male with his arms wrapped tightly about me. In fury I struggled against being 
held so, attempting to strike backward with my head and also to kick backward, yet were these attempts 
avoided as easily as my first. 

With deep satisfaction did the male then force me toward the furs I had awakened upon, paying no mind 
to my struggles and snarls. Indeed my lessons had been too few to allow me to fare well against one with 
equal knowledge but greater strength, yet had I had to make the attempt. Had I been able to reach the 
male with but one well-placed kick the matter would have ended differently, however the kick had not 
been delivered therefore was I delivered instead, to the fur and down upon it. Once there I was not 
released, rather did Mehrayn lie behind me, continuing to hold me with strength, facing toward the wall. 
Upon our left sides did we lay, his body close against mine. 

"Too long has it been since I have held you to me, wench," he murmured, his lips close to my hair. "Well 
do you deserve to he beaten for keeping us apart so long, yet am I unable to consider such a thing the 
while my arms are about you. Also am I forced to admit that the fault was not entirely yours." 

I made no answer to the words the male spoke, nor was I touched by them. Jalav had no need of males, 
most especially not one of the sort who held her. 

"Do you hear me, wench?" Mehrayn pursued, shaking me somewhat. "I shall not blindly lay the entire 
burden upon you for I am far from guiltless, and have unquestionably given you a good deal of 
provocation. My actions were thoughtless and cruel, and now I can only ask your forgiveness. It is this 
which I desire above all other things, this which I have brought you here for. Will you forgive me?" 

I could not keep the sound of scorn from escaping my throat, so outrageously mindless was the 
foolishness Mehrayn spouted. Had the male no understanding of any sort? Did he think me as mindless 
as he? I moved in annoyance against the arms which held me, turning my wrists in his hands, feeling the 
hesitation which touched the body pressed to mine. 

"I-am unsure of the manner in which to interpret your response," said he after a moment, his tone now 
cautious. "Are you perhaps attempting to indicate that your forgiveness is already mine?" 

"Ah, Mida, now do I truly begin to doubt your wisdom," said I, filled with an exasperation which was to 
a great extent disbelieving. "Although you likely desire no more than the use of his body, surely you 
would prefer a male with some vestige of intelligence? Would not the presence of one such as he be a 
greater embarrassment than any pleasure he might give?" 

"By the gods!" exclaimed the male in outrage, no longer attempting the coaxing tone he had previously 
used. "What have I said to you, wench, of the manner in which I am to be spoken of to the high ones? 
And for what reason do you speak such words? Surely you cannot continue to believe that the goddess 
has claimed me?" 

"None with eyes and a mind might believe otherwise," I returned with cold abruptness. "Release me 


immediately, male for there continues to be tasks I must see to for her whom we both serve." 

immediately, male for there continues to be tasks I must see to for her whom we both serve." 

"I see now that my brother was both correct and incorrect," said he when I was settled to his satisfaction, 
his gaze now fully upon me. "It was Chaldrin's belief that your coldness and refusal to heed me was 
rooted in jealousy, as was that-punishment you had me given. As I had foolishly sought to hurt you with 
my doings with Dotil as you had hurt me with your rejection, Chaldrin felt it would be best if I were to 
apologize for my 'cruelty' and allow you to forgive me. Now is it clear that I asked for forgiveness upon 
the wrong point--and that the root of your jealousy lies elsewhere." 

"Perhaps it will some fey be possible for males to understand that their lacks may not be found in 
Midanna," said I, the scorn having once again grown heavy in my voice. "Midanna do not covet the 
possessions of others, for they are possessed of the skill to take that which they wish. Should Mida smile 
upon them, their efforts will meet with success; should her smile be withheld, they will find her Blessed 
Realm or perhaps the final dark. No other than a male would stand about shivering in fear and with desire 
for that which he has been forbidden by another to touch." 

"I believe I have spoken before upon the foolishness of arrogance when one is in the power of another," 
said Mehrayn, annoyance attempting to alter the evenness of his tone just as insult hardened his gaze. 
"Much does it seem that you speak so to a purpose, the purpose perhaps being that the pain normally 
given you for such words is needed to feed the hatred you require to survive in captivity. The captivity I 
mean to keep you in is unlike any you have ever experienced, wench, unlike any you are able to imagine. 
It will contain laughter rather than pain, joy rather than despair, pleasure rather than agony. It will be 
shaped to cause you to yearn for it rather than freedom, and will call you back to it no matter how far 
away matters of responsibility send you. It is without doubt a true captivity, yet will you come to desire it 
as strongly as I already do." 

He then lowered his lips to briefly touch my unresisting ones, the sobriety he showed deliberately seeing 
naught of the bewilderment he had bred in me. In Mida's name, the soft words he had spoken had 
brought me a greater sense of dread than any pain he might have given, greater fear than any I had felt 
since my time before the male god Sigurr! How certain the male seemed that it would be possible to 
bring me to such a captivity! How was one to escape from such a thing? 

"That, however, is a matter to discuss at another time," he continued, smiling faintly at the wide-eyed 
manner in which I now watched him. It was not possible to truly understand the doings of one who 
served Mida, nor might one know with certainty what their next actions might be. "The topic currently 
under discussion is dual in nature," said he, "touching as it does your contention that I have been chosen 
to serve your goddess, and my contention that jealousy sends its snarling vapors to fill you with cold 
savagery. The two points are in reality one, and this is what I mean to show you." 

Again his hand came to smooth my hair, the faint smile still upon him, and then did his hand go to my arm 
and side, stroking with great gentleness. My muscles flared instantly in an attempt to break his grip upon 
my wrists and push him from me, yet despite the gentleness of his caress, his grip had not loosened. 

"How smooth and warm your skin is, wench," he murmured, as though unaware of my attempt to break 
free. "It gives me endless pleasure to touch you so, and ever shall it be the same. The same pleasure was 
yours with me, till I asked a boon of your goddess and was granted it. Who is it you thought to challenge 


for the possession of a-male?" 

for the possession of a-male?" 

"No Midanna need feel jealousy over that which she might take with the skill of her swordarm," said he, 
"yet how is a wench to pit her skill against the will of a goddess? That which your lady takes for her own 
is denied to those who follow her, no matter how greatly that thing is desired by them. So strongly did 
you feel upon the matter that you considered the unthinkable, the challenging of a god, for I had been put 
beyond your reach and you could not bear the thought. Indeed did it seem that I had contributed to the 
disaster by bringing myself to the attention of the goddess and then refusing to take myself from the area 
of her attention. Despite your upset you knew well enough that it was impossible to challenge the gods, 
therefore did you withdraw all indications of interest in me, in accordance with the will of your goddess. 
However, the deep, burning jealousy you felt remained, as well as the conviction that I had given myself 
willingly to another, one you might not face in challenge. For this reason was I given so painful and 
humiliating a punishment, for having spurned you and chosen another." 

I closed my eyes against his sober green gaze, unable to speak, unable to halt the ache which rose to fill 
every part of me. I knew not the reason why males ever brought such pain to a warrior, pain beyond that 
which their chains and leather and lashes brought. Far easier to bear was the touch of lash, and again I 
knew not why it was so, only that it was. 

"Jalav, my beloved, are you unable to see that this is not so?" he cried, suddenly releasing me so that he 
might hold me to him with all the strength in his arms. "Never would I choose another before you, sooner 
would I see my soul irretrievably lost! Though you have come to expect no other thing than pain from 
men, I would give you the brief pain of death before I would give you the agony of turning from you when 
you would face the gods for me! And never, never, never would I find it possible to give you death! I 
have not spurned you-nor has your lady denied me to you." 

In some manner had my arms circled him as his circled me, yet did I continue unable to speak. So deeply 
had the male touched me that I no longer knew right from wrong, true from false, honorable from 
dishonorable; no more was I aware of than my great need for him, my endless desire for him. The will of 
a male mattered little to a Midanna, yet to know that he felt for me what I felt for him! The withdrawal of 
a blade from one's flesh brings less easing! 

"You have as yet made no comment upon my next contention, wench," said he, one hand gently astroke 
upon my back. "As you now believe I have not turned from you, so must you believe that your lady has 
not denied me to you." 

I shook my head against the chest I held to, knowing that this, at least, could not be. Mida might well 
require my skill and health to see her will done, yet was her continuing anger with me clear. Denial was to 
be my lot for so long as she willed it, likely to the end of my feyd. 

"Ah, Sigurr, it is my unfortunate fate to be enmeshed to my soul with a woman who will not listen," said 
Mehrayn with a sigh, his words more respectful than his tone. "Your time of late has been more than 
well-filled, wench, therefore do I bid you to pause now for a time of consideration. Well might it be that I 
was kept from you before your approach to those other wenches, yet I fail to see how this might be 
looked upon as absolute, unending denial for all time. Rather than agreeing that I was chosen by your 
lady for her own, I contend that was merely kept from distracting you from your task, a thing I could not 
keep myself from attempting. The goddess, in her wisdom, knew I moved as I did only through being 
unable to halt myself, therefore was I given aid rather than censure. The thought was given to you that I 
had been chosen to serve the goddess you, yourself, serve, and so were my helpless efforts halted by 


your refusal to heed them. Though it was not my determined intention to stand myself in your path, I 
found myself helpless to do other than that very thing. The manner in which I was brushed aside was 
gentle indeed, and devoutly do I thank your lady for having shown such compassion. I am led to believe 
that she has found a small fondness for me within her, likely by cause of my having acknowledged her in 
the manner I did. Although your task continues in some part unfinished, I have been allowed to bring you 
here and speak to you in this way, a thing which could not have been done without her let. Are you still 
able to deny her continuing love for you-and her clear permission for the joining of our hearts?" 

your refusal to heed them. Though it was not my determined intention to stand myself in your path, I 
found myself helpless to do other than that very thing. The manner in which I was brushed aside was 
gentle indeed, and devoutly do I thank your lady for having shown such compassion. I am led to believe 
that she has found a small fondness for me within her, likely by cause of my having acknowledged her in 
the manner I did. Although your task continues in some part unfinished, I have been allowed to bring you 
here and speak to you in this way, a thing which could not have been done without her let. Are you still 
able to deny her continuing love for you-and her clear permission for the joining of our hearts?" 

"I have suddenly been denied the ability to think in any manner resembling clarity," I protested, raising my 
head to look upon the broad face of him. "How am I to know the truth or falsity of these things, to judge 
their merits or defects? How am I to be aware of what I do, when my thoughts are filled with naught save 
the male beneath my hands and the body he presses against mine?" 

"These are the sole things you are meant to be aware of," said Mehrayn with a soft laugh, taking my face 
in both of his great hands. "It was for this reason that I was taken from your side, so that you might be 
undistracted in your dealings with those who were once your enemies. For this darkness you need think 
of no other thing, for you have been given the permission of your lady to do so. I am yours alone, Jalav, 
just as you are mine, and best would be that you accustom yourself to this truth. You have held me in 
capture for too long a time without giving me a similar capture, and I will no longer allow it." 

His lips came to mine then, the touch no longer gentle nor brief, and truly was it capture which he brought 
me to. Never before had I felt such a thing, no desire approaching it save the one I had known when 
Ceralt had first attempted to make me his. Had I not even then ridden in the name of Mida, hers to do 
with as she willed, surely would I have been taken in a similar capture by the dark-haired High Rider of 
those who were called Belsayah. Surely was there unexplained magic within these two males, the 
red-haired and the dark, magic which ensnared a warrior and turned her helpless in their arms. The lips 
of Mehrayn burned fiercely against mine, effortlessly turning me helpless, and nearly was I unaware of the 
fact when he put me to my back and crouched above me. His hands took my breech and threw it from 
me, and then was his body cloth gone as well, naught remaining to bar our desires one from the other. He 
thrust deep as I welcomed him with joy, and then were all further considerations as one with the 
darkness. 

CH 12. With forces joined---to battle the gods 

The new light had not yet appeared when Chaldrin came, unbarring the door he had earlier barred, 
rousing Mehrayn and myself from a deep, dreamless sleep. The white-clad male had been sent by 
Aysayn, the Shadow also sending a plea for Mehrayn's presence. The Sigurri legions were in need of 
disposition, and Aysayn had no wish to attempt the thing again. Mehrayn took my lips a final time, found 
and donned his black body cloth while asking Chaldrin to remain with me till I had returned among the 
tents of the Midanna, and then was he gone, off to see to a duty which had too long been neglected. His 
final glance had been for me, an unspoken promise that he would return as soon as he was able, and in 
some manner was my distress increased by the doing. I sought out my breech where it lay perhaps two 
paces from the faintly glowing hearth, donned it quickly, then left the dwelling for the soft darkness which 
comes just before the light. 


"So, sister, you have used the darkness to return happiness to us both," said Chaldrin, halting me with a 
hand upon my shoulder, just without the dwelling. The weapons which Aysayn had given me were there, 
yet would I have gone past them without sight had Chaldrin not halted me. "Happiness alone, however, is 
scarcely sufficient for your safety in the forests, my girl. You must take care not to grow lax in the 
presence of your body's recent satisfaction." 

"So, sister, you have used the darkness to return happiness to us both," said Chaldrin, halting me with a 
hand upon my shoulder, just without the dwelling. The weapons which Aysayn had given me were there, 
yet would I have gone past them without sight had Chaldrin not halted me. "Happiness alone, however, is 
scarcely sufficient for your safety in the forests, my girl. You must take care not to grow lax in the 
presence of your body's recent satisfaction." 

"You would have me attempt your punishment the while you stand armed?" he asked, his amusement 
clear from the chuckling produced by him. "Surely, had you made such an offer before taking up that 
swordbelt, I would have . . . ." 

His words broke off as I tore away the swordbelt and threw it from me, his silence filled with shock as I 
sent the dagger after the sword. The ache within me was as deep as it had been when Mehrayn had first 
spoken of the matter, and I put one hand to my middle against that ache, feeling the moisture which filled 
my eyes. So horribly unthinking had been my actions, so mindlessly uncaring of consequences had I 
been! 

"No, wench, it cannot be that you weep!" said Chaldrin, shocked, and then were his arms about me, 
holding me to him with one hand to my hair. "You must tell me what the Sword did to you in punishment," 
said he, a growl beginning in his throat. "That punishment was due you is undeniable, yet to bring one 
such as you to tears-! I must know what was done!" 

"He-spoke of my intention to bring hatred to you and him," I whispered, clinging to the male in an attempt 
to throw off the trembling which had seized me. "He knew I had done as I did so that you and he would 
be pleased if my life were lost attempting Mida's task, yet did he ask what I would have done had I 
succeeded in breeding hatred within the two of you-and then had lived. It came to me then that never 
again would I have known the strength of his arms, the unending pleasure of his use, never again would I 
have known the glorious soul-sharing of the presence of a brother by my side. My life would then have 
returned to the emptiness it once was, Chaldrin, only then I would have known the exact magnitude of 
my loss." 

The tears continued their trail down my cheeks, yet was I beyond berating myself for so weakling a 
doing. In memory had I returned to my time with Ceralt, one who had, in full awareness, done as I had 
attempted to do. Only then was I able to fully understand the complete meaning of what he had done, the 
strength which had been required to provoke the hatred of one he would have given his life for. I had no 
doubt that Ceralt would have given his life for me, for he had attempted to give even more with his 
actions, doings which brought even greater pain than they gave. His words had shown that he knew full 
well the loss which would have been his had he not found death, and yet he had been willing to accept 
that loss so that I would be spared the pain of his ending. How blind I had been to see naught save his 
doings themselves, naught save the shame and humiliation given me! How small were those things when 
compared with what he, himself, must have suffered, and yet no word of pain had ever passed his lips! 

"Ah, wench, you have been harshly punished indeed," sighed Chaldrin, stroking my hair in an attempt to 
give me comfort. "To be shown the trace meaning of one's actions, to be forced to face the barrenness of 
one's existence without those one cares for-I much doubt I would have had the strength for such a doing. 
The Sword has clearly forced himself to it for your sake-so that you will not consider such a thing a 
second time." 


"Also was I given other punishment," said I, finding something of the comfort Chaldrin sought to give. "To 
have left me entirely unpunished would have been to have left me to naught save considerations of 
might-have-beens, Mehrayn said, and also had he no wish to leave his own resentments unresolved. His 
second doing was both more and less painful than the first, yet did it serve to take from him the angered 
memory of my own doing." 

"Also was I given other punishment," said I, finding something of the comfort Chaldrin sought to give. "To 
have left me entirely unpunished would have been to have left me to naught save considerations of 
might-have-beens, Mehrayn said, and also had he no wish to leave his own resentments unresolved. His 
second doing was both more and less painful than the first, yet did it serve to take from him the angered 
memory of my own doing." 

"He-beat me," I replied, of a sudden more than eager to end the discussion. I attempted to move from 
Chaldrin's arms, yet did the male continue to hold me to him with a chuckle. 

"I find it fascinating that embarrassment may be felt as easily within you as fear may be felt in the body of 
another," said he, the dark shadow of his face looking down upon me. "I need no longer ask of the sort 
of beating you were given, for it was surely the sort he was given himself. Did he bring forth a switch to 
use?" 

"He had no switch," I replied with disgust. "Nor would he have used one had one been easily to hand, he 
informed me. I would likely find the need to stand in challenge with the new light, said he, and he had no 
desire to see me ended by cause of an inability to move with my usual speed." 

"Therefore did he use no other thing than his hand," Chaldrin concluded with a nod. "I, too, am mindful of 
the challenge you face, and would also be willing to forgo the use of a switch. Are you prepared to 
receive the same punishment from me that you received from the Sword?" 

In memory I felt again the weight of Mehrayn's hand, returning to me what he had been given, felt again 
the silent tears which had streamed down my cheeks at the growing ache in my bottom. Sooner would I 
have faced the whip Chaldrin had once beaten me with, for the whip had brought pain only to my body, 
none to my pride, yet was I unable to request near-crippling pain in place of humiliation. There was 
indeed a challenge I would likely need to face, and the accomplishing of Mida's tasks held far more 
import than even the preservation of my pride. 

"Chaldrin may do as he wishes with this Midanna," I said at last, looking down from the eyes I was not 
yet able to see. "The debt I owe him is large, and the manner of settling it may be the choice of none save 
him. Do as you must, brother. There will be no challenge between us at the end of it. " 

Well prepared was I for accepting that which was necessary, yet was Chaldrin briefly silent, then did he 
raise my face to his again. 

"No debt of any size stands between us, sister," said he, his fingers steady beneath my chin. "That my life 
remains mine through your recent efforts may not be denied, and a doing such as that excuses much. 
What remain between us are bonds of love, a form of love uninvolved with bodily doings, a form of love 
which allows feelings of annoyance and exasperation to exist along with it. Never did I feel true anger 
with you, girl, merely exasperation, which calls for no more than a small punishment to banish it entirely. 
This punishment I will postpone till exasperation touches me again at some doing of yours, and only then 
will I demand the right you have freely given me. Yet must I also give you clear warning: should you again 
involve yourself in such destructive foolishness, you will keenly regret having given me leave to do you as 
I would. I feel Mehrayn has the right of it, and I will give you the same as you received from him, yet not 
with so light a touch." 

"You would not-consider the use of a whip in its stead?" I asked in a very small voice, feeling greatly 


diminished by what Chaldrin had said. Never had I known that such a thing as the love between us might 
be, and in its presence I felt absurdly small and undeserving. Many new things had recently been 
presented me, things which would require the passing of my continued confusion before they might be 
evaluated. "It had not occurred to me that there would come a time when I would look upon the 
whippings and lashings I had been given, as great kindness," I muttered. 

diminished by what Chaldrin had said. Never had I known that such a thing as the love between us might 
be, and in its presence I felt absurdly small and undeserving. Many new things had recently been 
presented me, things which would require the passing of my continued confusion before they might be 
evaluated. "It had not occurred to me that there would come a time when I would look upon the 
whippings and lashings I had been given, as great kindness," I muttered. 

"I must think upon all these strangenesses I have been presented with," said I with something of a sigh, 
going to the weapons I had previously thrown from me. "It may perhaps prove true that one is in better 
state when in the capture of enemies, than when in the care of brothers. Also do I continue to believe that 
questions such as that would not have arisen had I been wise enough to keep from being enmeshed in the 
doings of males." 

"It was not meant that you be kept from the doings of men," said he with further chuckling, watching as I 
replaced the weapons. "You must learn to deal with such things, and also to accept graciously what 
lessons are taught you. We who care for you will assist you in these things." 

"Mida protect me from the assistance of males," said I, speaking very softly, yet did Chaldrin hear and 
allow his amusement to grow. We left the vicinity of the dwelling surrounded by his deep, gentle laughter, 
and no other thing than thought upon what lay before me kept me from a suspicion that I had in some 
manner enchained myself more thoroughly than had been done to me by any who called himself enemy. 

The beginning brightness of the new fey was already returning color to all things about us when we 
reached the first of the tents. Somewhat disturbing was it to see Sigurri warriors all about, yet was their 
presence greatly necessary. Few more than two handfuls of Midanna remained untaken by the vapor of 
the gray-clad males, therefore were they in need of assistance in seeing to their sisters. All about the 
various colored tents did the two groups labor, tending those in matching clan colors. Two sets had been 
arranged in the midst of the tent areas, one of those who merely slept deeply-and one of those who had 
been sent upon the journey to Mida's Realm. Some of those who had stood guard had been slain, and 
some of those who had not been taken by the vapors, and sight of those who had had their lives uselessly 
thrown away before they might be spent to better purpose, turned me more than grim. Slowly did I pace 
from tent area to tent area, looking upon those who were no more, seeing again the gray-clad ones in my 
mind's eye, bitterly regretting that those gray-clad faith were no longer before my sword. Much pleasure 
would there have been in further buryings of my blade, yet did I refrain from visiting the area in which 
were held those of the craven horde who had not been able to flee the Sigurri, yet feared to face them. 
These had thrown themselves upon the mercy of the males, thinking to be carried back to the land of the 
Sigurri and perhaps consigned to the Caverns of the Doomed, yet had I already spoken with Aysayn and 
seen the matter settled otherwise. Those gray-clad ones who stood in capture would be gifted to the 
Midanna when they awoke, a gesture of friendship from warriors to warriors. Also would they be given 
the body of the very young Sarda, she who had been captured by the males and made to show them the 
place of visiting. Her body gave evidence of what she had been made to endure, of what had finally 
broken her and made her agree to the demands of the males. She had not survived the doing long, which 
was much of a blessing; also would no single invader survive to regret his doing, yet would their regret be 
keen the short while they lived. 


Ilvin labored with those clans who had none awake to begin with till there were some few from each who 
had been roused, and then did she come to join me as I paced about; Chaldrin and Aysayn already 
moved silently in my wake, feeling my fury over those who had been slain and wisely saying naught. 
Mehrayn joined us as well when those Sigurri who had fought and labored through the darkness had 
been replaced with those who had slept, and with him was S'Heernoh, deep upset in the dark eyes which 
rested in an overly sober countenance. In soft words was I told by Mehrayn that S'Heernoh's upset was 
caused by his belief that an earlier warning would have lessened the number of Midanna lives which had 
been lost, therefore did it become necessary that I take a moment to speak with the male. Quietly did I 
point out that an earlier warning would have done naught to alter matters, for those two who were able to 
direct the Sigurri legions in their entirety were unavailable, Mehrayn with the Midanna, Aysayn with 
myself. Also did I point out that no warning of any sort would surely have been an even greater disaster, 
therefore was the male foolish to berate himself over a doing which had seen more lives saved than lost. 
When I put my hand to his shoulder and asked if the male S'Heernoh meant to anger a war leader with 
further foolishness, the male smiled his faint, odd smile, met my gaze with the warmth he had so often 
shown, then shook his head. No words were spoken by him, yet did his manner lead me to believe that 
he had taken my own words to heart. 

Ilvin labored with those clans who had none awake to begin with till there were some few from each who 
had been roused, and then did she come to join me as I paced about; Chaldrin and Aysayn already 
moved silently in my wake, feeling my fury over those who had been slain and wisely saying naught. 
Mehrayn joined us as well when those Sigurri who had fought and labored through the darkness had 
been replaced with those who had slept, and with him was S'Heernoh, deep upset in the dark eyes which 
rested in an overly sober countenance. In soft words was I told by Mehrayn that S'Heernoh's upset was 
caused by his belief that an earlier warning would have lessened the number of Midanna lives which had 
been lost, therefore did it become necessary that I take a moment to speak with the male. Quietly did I 
point out that an earlier warning would have done naught to alter matters, for those two who were able to 
direct the Sigurri legions in their entirety were unavailable, Mehrayn with the Midanna, Aysayn with 
myself. Also did I point out that no warning of any sort would surely have been an even greater disaster, 
therefore was the male foolish to berate himself over a doing which had seen more lives saved than lost. 
When I put my hand to his shoulder and asked if the male S'Heernoh meant to anger a war leader with 
further foolishness, the male smiled his faint, odd smile, met my gaze with the warmth he had so often 
shown, then shook his head. No words were spoken by him, yet did his manner lead me to believe that 
he had taken my own words to heart. 

"Those, I presume, are the Summa who rode with you," said she, her frown continuing in evidence. 
"Those males who accompany them-do they follow the Summa? They continue to bear arms and to wear 
their own colors, and they fail to walk respectfully behind or to one side-yet is there some shadow of a 
look about them which suggests they follow warriors in some manner." 

"They neither follow nor demand to be followed," I said, knowing my words would do little to soothe the 
Keeper. "The males, too, are warriors, and in some manner have they joined with the Summa which 
takes from none of them and gives to all. It is not a thing I am able to understand, Ennat, for these Sigurri 
are unlike any males I have ever come across. To take one in capture would be much like taking in a 
Midanna in capture, yet is there no hesitation within them over giving a warrior her due. Should Mida add 
to your wisdom and some fey bring you understanding of ones such as they, I would be greatly in your 
debt if the understanding were shared with me." 

"And with me," said Renin of the Sonna as she joined us, the yellow of her clan covering less bright than it 
had been. "I awoke thinking it would be necessary to give my life in defiance of my captors, then found 
that those would-be captors had already been driven off, and by those who attended me. Gently and 
with respect was I tended, as though clan sisters saw to my well-being, and when I was once again able 
to stand without assistance, my weapons were returned to me." Greatly disturbed did Renin seem, though 
she disallowed much outward evidence of it, and she shook her head as Ennat and I looked upon her. 
"With my weapons returned to me I was left to my own devices, save for a single one of those males. 
When the others had gone he approached me alone, then spoke of how pleasing he found my golden hair 
and green eyes. He, himself, was dark-haired and dark-eyed, and suggested that if I found him equally as 
pleasing, he would come to me when the unsteadiness from the vapors had entirely left me. In no manner 
did he ask to follow me, nor was I commanded to follow him; I had no true understanding of the exact 
proposal made, yet did he make no effort to halt me when I walked from him in confusion. These males 
are clearly free, Hosta; for what reason do they not begrudge our own freedom, as do other free 
males?" 


"I know not, Renin," I made admission with a sigh, finding her confusion a true match to mine. "I, too, 
have sought an answer to that question, yet does the answer continue to elude me. All Midanna know of 
the strangeness of males, yet these males go well beyond that." 

"I know not, Renin," I made admission with a sigh, finding her confusion a true match to mine. "I, too, 
have sought an answer to that question, yet does the answer continue to elude me. All Midanna know of 
the strangeness of males, yet these males go well beyond that." 

"They are unquestionably warriors," came another voice, heralding the approach of Faris of the Summa, 
who was accompanied by the Simna was leader, Ludir. Already had Melid of the Sarra and Tarit of the 
Samma joined us the while Renin spoke, and all eyes turned to the newcomers. 

"Their battle skill, at least, is sufficient to give them the name of warrior," said Ludir, a sourness to the 
words she spoke. She and Faris halted before the balance of us, and Faris attempted to swallow down 
amusement. 

"My sister Ludir is scarcely pleased to find it necessary to make such an admission, and for that she may 
not be faulted," said Faris, silently sending me some part of her amusement. "I had come to the tents of 
the Simna to see if Ludir had awakened as yet, and was presented with an unexpected sight. A Simna 
warrior had awakened abruptly without the strengthlessness which had held the balance of us, looked 
about to see males without number, and suddenly recalled the attack of the darkness. Springing to her 
feet she took the sword of a male before he knew what she was about, sounded the Simna war cry, then 
attacked those she believed were enemies." 

"Attempted to attack those she believed were enemies," corrected Ludir, her sourness undiminished. 
"Those of my warriors who were sufficiently awakened to be aware of the true state of affairs were as 
yet unfit to attempt halting her, yet it soon became clear that the males had no need of our aid. They most 
of them quickly threw themselves from the path of her blade, and then did one, with a black shoulder 
stroke, move forward to engage her with his own weapon. More than once was the male nearly spitted, 
for he made no attempt at attack of his own, yet his skill kept him from an ending till three others of his 
males were able to throw themselves upon the warrior the while her attention was engaged by him who 
stood before her blade. The three bore her to the ground, removed the weapon from her fist, then held 
her the while her sisters were called to speak with her. I, myself, went forward with difficulty to speak 
praise of my sister's bravery in attacking those she thought to be enemies, and unbelievably found myself 
joined in the giving of that praise by him who had held her blade, he of the black shoulder stroke! Never 
before have I heard a male speak praise of a warrior's skill, save that he wished to follow her, and this 
the male did not ask! Merely did he speak the words of praise, and no other!" 

"Perhaps it is in such a way that males such as these ask the thing," suggested Faris, her amusement 
greater at Ludir's heavy indignation. "Jalav will surely know, for one of those who followed her here 
bears a similar stroke of black upon his shoulder. I see the male now bears arms, Jalav, as does the one 
in white. Have they been given your permission to take such a liberty?" 

I turned my head to glance at Mehrayn where he stood in converse with S'Heernoh and Aysayn, and 
also at Chaldrin who stood beside Ilvin, looking down upon her attentively as she spoke words which 
seemed difficult for her. The presence of the Hitta had seemed to provoke more growls of displeasure 
than the presence of males, yet had none seen fit to give her challenge-as yet. I then returned my gaze to 
Faris and smiled faintly. 

"The males both follow me and do not follow me," said I, well aware of the close attention the others 
gave my words. "He of the white covering has vowed to his god to accompany me and stand beside me 


for as long as life is left to him, for he was bested by me with swords and now believes our fates 
intertwined. Chaldrin has great skill with the sword he wears, greater than any of the males who once 
followed him, yet has he little need of it for he also has great battle skill without weapons. He has already 
begun the teaching of this skill to myself and the Hitta and the Summa, for he dislikes the thought of our 
being without it. He is another who joys in the skill of warriors, and joys also in the thought of adding to 
it. " 

for as long as life is left to him, for he was bested by me with swords and now believes our fates 
intertwined. Chaldrin has great skill with the sword he wears, greater than any of the males who once 
followed him, yet has he little need of it for he also has great battle skill without weapons. He has already 
begun the teaching of this skill to myself and the Hitta and the Summa, for he dislikes the thought of our 
being without it. He is another who joys in the skill of warriors, and joys also in the thought of adding to 
it. " 

"And the other?" she asked, returning all eyes to her. "Has the other also sworn an oath to his god? His 
service was stranger than that of the white-clad male, for I tasted them both from curiosity. The 
red-haired one showed no reluctance in giving service to a warrior, yet the use of a war leader was not 
equally as pleasurable. He dislikes being taken upon his back, I think, as though disturbing memories 
come to him with the position." 

"Indeed does he dislike it," said I, the sudden amusement I felt broadening my smile to something of a 
grin. "Those with black strokes upon their shoulders are war leaders to their males, and he is war leader 
to those war leaders. Once, in his own dwelling, I took him so, upon his back with my dagger at his 
throat. He could not deny the pleasure he felt, yet did he vow vengeance upon me for doing him so. 
Greatly amusing are males when they are so highly incensed." 

"Scarcely amusing," said Faris, neither she nor the others joining my laughter. I had thought to distract 
them from Chaldrin with tales of Mehrayn, yet for some reason the ploy had not affected them as I 
wished it to. "These males are too large and well made-and too skillful-for their anger to be dismissed so 
lightly, war leader. The red-haired male is war leader to all of his males, a war leader of war leaders, and 
yet you speak lightly of having taken him against his will. In what manner did he take his vengeance?" 

"He-took no vengeance," I replied, attempting to show naught of my upset. "He followed after when I left 
his city, bringing others of his males, and kept my life from being taken by those gray-clad males who 
held Wedin and Dotil. When I fell senseless from the poisoning of my wounds, he tended me till Mida 
brought me healing. His vow of vengeance was no more than jest, for he dislikes being forced to the 
service of a Midanna." 

"And yet he allowed himself to again be used in such a way, and without protest," said Ennat, her dark 
eyes upon me with sober calm. "A war leader of war leaders, he nevertheless took no vengeance, tended 
you in your need, and allowed himself to be used so that none might say you led a free male to our lands. 
You speak unknowingly in error when you say he does not follow you, Jalav of the Hosta. It is simply 
that these males follow like no others who follow Midanna, both he and the white-clad one. You 
command deep loyalty in odd places, war leader, as the chosen of Mida rightfully should." 

"She is not the chosen of Mida!" rang out another voice even as my thoughts whirled with the agreement 
to be seen in the eyes of the war leaders. I had not expected so effortless an acceptance, and indeed was 
it not meant to be so. Kalir stood not far from our set, her chin high, her feet widespread, fury blazing in 
her eyes from the words she had clearly heard Ennat speak. Deliberately had I avoided seeking out the 
Selga, as what lay between us was meant to be settled in the presence of her sister war leaders and 


Keeper; although not all of the war leaders had as yet made an appearance, enough were present to see 
the thing properly done. 

Keeper; although not all of the war leaders had as yet made an appearance, enough were present to see 
the thing properly done. 

"There was no cowardice in doing such things to one whose blood would have sullied my blade!" 
snapped the Selga, deliberately seeing naught of the shocked outrage evinced by her sisters. "It was my 
determination that another trial was called for, therefore did I see to it. Well pleased am I that that trial, 
too, was circumvented, for it has now become clear that I have been chosen by Mida to end the 
impostor. When her foul blood covers my blade and she lies lifeless at my feet, then will it be equally 
clear to all of you that Kalir is the chosen of Mida, not some worthless Hosta!" 

"I now see the direction in which the lellin wings," said Faris to me in a soft voice as I loosened the blade 
in my scabbard. "Kalir wishes the leadership of all the Midanna to be hers, and will dare anything to see it 
so." 

"Her wishes are of no consequence," I said, feeling the anger and battle desire rise up in me. "Should one 
wish a thing, one does not sully that thing with acts of dishonor. It is completely fitting that the final thing 
she dares is to face me. 

"She wears the sword and dagger given you by Mida!" exclaimed Tarit with great indignation, the first 
words ever addressed to me by the Samma. "Will the weapons not give her Mida's blessing as well?" 

"Mida's blessing is in the skill of the arm wielding the weapon, sister, not in the weapon itself," said I, 
giving answer to Tarit in a voice that easily reached Kalir. Unwavering was the gaze I sent to the Selga, 
and higher did her anger flame when I stepped out toward her. 

"Mida's blessing is indeed in the arm which wields her weapon!" snarled Kalir, nearly beside herself. 
"Also is it to be found in the great magic of her sign, the life sign which once was yours and now is mine! 
I, too, was born beneath the sign of the hadat, another clear indication that Mida has called to me! She 
may perhaps have used this one to carry the life sign to me, yet now is it mine and her life as well! The 
mother of all has spurned you, Hosta trash; behold the one fated to lead her Midanna in your place-and 
behold the beginning of your own ending!" 

Rabidly did Kalir scream out these words, and her fist rose high with the leather of my life sign clenched 
tight therein. The crystal hadat gleamed in the brightness of the fey's light, drawing my eyes, forcing me to 
wonder if the words spoken by Kalir were indeed truth. Much had I felt that Mida was displeased with 
me, and this, perhaps, was to be the time of her taking another chosen. A chill of dread touched me at 
the thought, for Kalir would scarcely see to the freeing of the Hosta once battle with the strangers was 
done, and then dread was thrust aside by the fires of rage. Should Mida take another as chosen, that 
other would not be Kalir! A craven was Kalir, unwilling to face me in battle without the sword of Mida 
before her, thoroughly unfit to be called Midanna, not to speak of chosen. First would this Selga and I 
cross blades, and then would the matter of chosen be seen to. 

"You continue to mean to face me!" said Kalir as her eyes gave her knowledge of my decision, a good 
deal of disbelief in her voice. "I hold all of Mida's gifts and you hold none, and still do you mean to face 
me! You are the greatest of fools, Hosta, even greater for this than for believing you might bring males 


here among us! First will I see to you, and then will I send my warriors against these males, for true 
Midanna can wish no part of them. All of you will fall, and it is I who will see to it!" 

here among us! First will I see to you, and then will I send my warriors against these males, for true 
Midanna can wish no part of them. All of you will fall, and it is I who will see to it!" 

The sound of agony ceased abruptly then, and also did the flames immediately recede from blackened 
flesh. Headless body followed bodiless head to the heat-shriveled grass of the ground, and Ennat looked 
down upon it in silence for a moment before turning to send her gaze to those who had not yet found 
themselves able to utter a single sound. 

"There are many times when the will of Mida is unknown, few times when it is made unarguably clear," 
said she in a strong voice which nevertheless shook some small bit. "We have all of us been blessed this 
fey by having her will shown to us so clearly, taking from our shoulders the burden of the necessity to 
judge truth from lie. All of us have seen the life sign given by Mida hanging passively and protectively 
upon the breast of the Hosta; need we ask any further questions upon the point of who Mida's chosen 
might be?" 

No single voice rose to give disagreement to Ennat's words, and truly do I believe that most were unable 
to utter a sound of any sort. All in view of the Keeper's tent had witnessed Kalir's manner of ending, and 
nearly all were surely filled with the same illness which attempted to twist my insides free. Death comes to 
us all, with some fortunate enough to find it in the midst of the glory of battle, yet none I had ever met had 
earned an ending such as Kalir's. To be consumed alive in the flames of sacrilege, to have no least hope 
of defending oneself! the illness rose up with even greater force within me, sending me down to one knee, 
sending the flames of imagination racing through my own body. The heat I felt was sickening, there in the 
brightness of Mida's fey, and nearly was I overcome completely. 

"Jalav, what ails you?" came Ennat's voice as though from afar, and then were there hands upon my arms, 
and exclamations in the voices of males. 

"Her flesh burns as though she, too, were afire!" came the voice of Mehrayn, a wildness in it. "How does 
this come to be? What are we to do for it?" 

"Perhaps water," said Chaldrin, the hand which was surely his tightening upon my arm. "We must 
immerse her in water, and drive this fever from her!" 

"No!" said another voice, one which seemed like S'Heernoh's, yet was it filled with greater authority and 
force than it had ever held. "The life sign, we must replace the life sign upon her, to quiet its agitation! If 
we fail to do so, she will not survive!" 

With the sound of many voices and presences about me I attempted to force open the lids which had 
closed over my eyes, yet to no avail. The illness and flame heat rose higher and higher within me, and 
then came a touch which brought the ending of darkness. 

Dim was the candle-lit interior of Ennat's tent, close in the warmth of the fey which had not advanced far 


from the time the darkness had taken me. I had awakened to find myself upon the sleeping leather of the 
Keeper, my life sign returned to its place about my neck, all illness and flame heat gone from my flesh. I 
had sighed with relief at their blessed absence, then had raised myself to sitting to look about at those 
who filled the tent. 

from the time the darkness had taken me. I had awakened to find myself upon the sleeping leather of the 
Keeper, my life sign returned to its place about my neck, all illness and flame heat gone from my flesh. I 
had sighed with relief at their blessed absence, then had raised myself to sitting to look about at those 
who filled the tent. 

"I, too, had no doubts," said Chaldrin, who sat to my left, "yet am I greatly relieved to see you awake, 
sister." 

"And I,'" said Mehrayn, lookin upon me from his place to my right. Much did it seem that he wished to 
touch me, yet was he aware of the life sign I wore, the life sign which would take the pleasure from his 
touch. "Do you hunger, wench?" he asked, keeping his light eyes upon me. "You slept the healing sleep 
only for a short while, yet have you ever wakened from it with hunger." 

"I know not whether my hunger stems from that or from not having fed in some time," said I, sipping at 
the daru to quiet the inner rumblings Mehrayn's words had brought forth. "What ever the cause, hunger is 
most certainly with me." 

"Allow me to see to the fetching of your provender," said Ennat, crouching to put aside her own pot of 
daru before straightening again. "Your presence honors my tent, Jalav of the Midanna, and I would see 
the honor continue for a while." 

Her warm smile lit her way from the tent, and for a long moment no other word was spoken. Mehrayn 
and Chaldrin and Aysayn and Ilvin and Wedin and Dotil and I; all of us sat unspeaking, and nearly 
unmoving. 

"To think that that nearly was done to Ladayna," said Aysayn at last, a tremor of illness passing through 
the dark eyes of him. "Had she not only taken her life sign, had she attempted to put it about her neck-" 

"Surely Sigurr guarded her and kept her from it," said Mehrayn, attempting to soothe his brother's upset. 
"We none of us know the full power of the sign given by the gods, yet were we all guarded from it. None 
were harmed-save that one who sought to steal the power for her own. Even my wench now sits before 
us restored to health." 

"For which we all thank the gods," said Aysayn with a nod, producing something of a smile. 
"Nevertheless, as soon as our battle with the coming strangers is done and I have returned to the city, 
Ladayna will be taught the true meaning of punishment. Never will I forget the sight of those flames rising 
from the female's flesh, consuming her with agony... !" 

"Brother, enough!" protested Chaldrin, his eyes upon the trembling which had come to my hands. I, too, 
would never find the sight of Kalir's ending leaving me, and this was an added burden I must carry: never 
again to allow another the touching nor taking of my life sign. The true blame for the doing was mine 
alone, for had I sought out Kalir before she awakened and reclaimed the life sign, it would not have been 
able to do her as it did. Had I not been so pleased to be free of the thing, had I not been so foolishly 
unconcerned-Abruptly I emptied the pot of daru I held, put it aside, then removed my life sign, angrily 
pulling it free of my hair before wrapping its leather about the hilt of the dagger in my leg bands. That 
dagger was the one given me by Mida, the matching sword lying to the right of the leather I sat upon, 
neither showing the least harm from having been upon Kalir at the time of her ending. It gave me little 
surprise to see it so, for the weapons were also possessions of the goddess, as was the life sign I 
wrapped about the hilt of the dagger. Although I must surely keep that life sign from the hands of others, I 
would not allow it to bind me to it, taking all of pleasure from my life, leaving naught save duty and lack 


of feeling. Little enough of pleasure was allowed Mida's chosen, and this little I would not permit to be 
taken from me! 

of feeling. Little enough of pleasure was allowed Mida's chosen, and this little I would not permit to be 
taken from me! 

"For what do you thank us, Jalav?" asked Wedin, raising herself from the floor leather to take my 
emptied pot and turn toward the fire with it. "Little aid were we able to give you, with our sisters guarding 
us so closely. They feared we would be branded traitors, you see, and had no wish for so dishonorable a 
fate to touch us." 

"It must please you to know that the love of your clan sisters is yours," said I, smiling my thanks for the 
refilled pot which Wedin brought me. "The tale of your escaping from observation long enough to build 
the pit must truly be one to be told and retold." 

"Pit?" said Dotil as Wedin reclaimed her place beside her. "What pit do you speak of, Jalav? We built no 
pit, nor were we able to escape from our sisters. They bound us in leather to be certain of this, and we 
were unable to free ourselves." 

"And yet there was a pit in the forest," said I, speaking slowly and sipping at the daru in an attempt to 
clear the renewed confusion from my thoughts. "In the trial I was put to, with the pursuing warriors no 
more than a pair of reckid behind me, pain and weariness curling me nearly to the ground-a covered pit 
in a ring of bushes was my salvation, taking me from the sight of those who hunted me, allowing me the 
time of rest and healing I would not survived without. Also was there provender in the pit to heal my 
hunger-and bits of cloth in Summa blue and Hosta green to guide me to this haven. And you say you 
have no knowledge of it?" 

"Not we," said Wedin, exchanging looks of deep mystification with her sisters. "Perhaps the males-?" 

"I know naught of any pit in the forest," said Aysayn with a shrug, looking to Ilvin. "Likely we rode at the 
time with this wench and the others with her, attempting to reach this place." 

"And the Sword and I were otherwise engaged," said Chaldrin as Ilvin nodded her agreement with 
Aysayn. "Even had we known of your need, girl, there were too many seeking the service of those who 
followed you, to allow us the opportunity for such a doing. We, also, know naught of it." 

"Surely it was the doing of your lady," said Mehrayn, and this time his hand came to touch my hair. "As 
your need was so very great, she took what measures she could to see to it." 

"Perhaps," I allowed, not caring to speak my thoughts more fully. Never before had Mida given me even 
half so great an amount of assistance, and I could not bring myself to believe she had this time done so. 
Where the pit had come from I knew not, yet was this no more than one mystery among many. 

"And were you greatly pleasing to those who demanded your service?" asked Ilvin of Chaldrin, an evil 
leer covering her face. "A male such as you among the Hitta would have been drained to the final drop 
before being allowed the sleep of exhaustion." 

"I think, wench, I must show you how far a distance it is to my final drop," said Chaldrin with calm 
pleasure, looking upon Ilvin the while Mehrayn. Aysayn and the Summa laughed. "Never yet have I done 
so, yet surely has the proper time now arrived. You will have the feyd you require before needing to take 
seat again upon the back of a kan." 


"You intend, for once, to pleasure me fully?" Ilvin asked with a look of delight, and then did the leer 
return to her. "Indeed is such a doing more than past time, for in all other respects you appear quite 
hardy. Afterward, when you find yourself unable to walk, I will even fetch provender to you." 

"You intend, for once, to pleasure me fully?" Ilvin asked with a look of delight, and then did the leer 
return to her. "Indeed is such a doing more than past time, for in all other respects you appear quite 
hardy. Afterward, when you find yourself unable to walk, I will even fetch provender to you." 

His dark-eyed gaze rested fully upon Ilvin, and she, despite the continuing laughter all about her, forbore 
to reply. She knew not whether the male spoke in jest, and behind her own gaze undoubtedly lay the 
memory of the strength of Chaldrin's arm, yet her words of provocation had been spoken and could not 
be recalled. I saw the question come into her eyes upon the wisdom of also speaking words of apology, 
yet that decision would not be easily made by her. If she truly desired the use of Chaldrin, which she had 
not had in some feyd, she would find it necessary to meet with him at darkness. At that time would she 
either speak in apology or accept what punishment he gave, and I knew not which she would 
chooses--or whether she would not choose another thing entirely. The matter lay between two warriors, 
and between them would it be seen to. 

The next moment saw Ennat returned with my provender, and full welcome was it to the hollow within 
me. Mehrayn growled out his disgust with me for not having seen to the need sooner, for the manner in 
which I fell upon the provender spoke eloquently of how great that need was, and Ennat fell again to 
frowning. The Keeper seemed outraged that a male would speak so to Mida's chosen, yet merely did 
she swallow daru till I had fed my fill, and then did she suggest that I be allowed a time of uninterrupted 
rest. To my annoyance all those who sat with me agreed at once, and before I might voice another 
preference, the last of them was gone through the tent flap. I had little interest in either rest or solitude, yet 
it seemed I was destined to have both. I took up my pot of daru and leaned down to one elbow upon the 
sleeping leather, unsure of whether I felt annoyed or amused. When I finished the daru I would leave the 
tent, and then would all of those who followed me see how little need I had for rest. 

"My lady war leader." The soft words spoken at the tent flap drew me to sitting once again, for 
S'Heernoh had entered with as little sound as he ever made. He smiled when he saw the greeting in my 
eyes, and bowed his curious bow. 

"Once again you have returned to health, and once again I am well pleased," said he. "Are you in great 
need of rest, or may I speak with you?" 

"My need for rest exists only in the minds of those who have just departed here," I replied, gesturing with 
the daru. "Come and sit with me, S'Heernoh, so that I may thank you once again for your aid." 

"I believe I have already said that thanks are unnecessary," said he, coming forward to take seat not far 
from me. "I would not have interfered, save that the meaning of what I had seen upon the Snows came to 
me then, and I had no doubt as to the proper course of action." 

"You saw-all this-upon the Snows?" I asked, dismayed. "For what reason did you not speak of it 
sooner?" 

"For the reason that I had no understanding of what I saw," he replied, his now unsmiling face giving 
indication that once again he felt the weight of responsibility upon his shoulders. "There were two female 
hadat, and flames through both of them, and truly did I believe that the black-rimmed golden glow which 
moved from one to the other indicated an event of pure symbolism. In such a manner are certain events 
hidden from us, cloaked in symbolism we cannot hope to penetrate. Only at the last was I able to see 
that the black-rimmed golden glow-your life sign-must be returned to you, else would the flames 


consume you as well. One path showed as much, a path I had only caught a glimpse of before being 
forced to return. I had spent too long a time studying the main path, you see, attempting to make sense of 
it." 

consume you as well. One path showed as much, a path I had only caught a glimpse of before being 
forced to return. I had spent too long a time studying the main path, you see, attempting to make sense of 
it." 

"I saw naught of such a reason, yet it might well be too soon for it to be seen," said he, spreading his 
hands in a gesture of helplessness. "Also might the reason be clearly before us, such as the manner in 
which these wenches now follow you without question. Upon the Snows such a reason is at times 
regarded as sufficient, no matter the manner in which mortal men regard it." 

"I dislike such soulless lack of feeling," said I with a grimace of distaste. "We must make an effort to 
disassociate ourselves from the Snows, to remove the hold they seem to have upon us." 

"Remove the hold of the Snows?" he echoed, seemingly taken with great confusion. "Jalav, the Snows 
have no hold upon those of this world, rather are they shaped by the doings to be found here. The Snows 
are no more than the times coming to be, an advance reflection of that which we, ourselves, will cause. 
They have no strength to shape our lives." 

"Then what of those things that are so firmly fixed that no other paths appear at that point?" I demanded, 
beginning to grow annoyed with the lack of understanding in the male. "What of those things which are 
shielded from us so that we may do naught to avoid them? It is this which we must disassociate ourselves 
from, this slavery to the will of the Snows!" 

"Lady, I have no words with which to speak to you," said the male with his faint, odd smile. "My words 
or lack thereof are entirely irrelevant, for I will certainly follow where you lead. I have no desire to do 
aught else. Would you have me tell you of what else I saw upon the Snows?" 

"Indeed," said I, curious as to what this might be. "It was my understanding that you had not the time to 
remain and see what more there was." 

"This I saw but a short time ago," said he, "when you lay in the sleep of healing. I walked the Snows to 
be sure no other pitfalls lay in your path, and saw the place we travel to from here. Large is that city, and 
filled with many more of your wenches-and when we arrive there it will also be surrounded by many 
men." 

"Males?" I frowned, looking sharply upon the Walker. "What males? In what numbers?" 

"Many men in large numbers, yet not so large a number as you now lead," said he, his voice attempting to 
be soothing. "Some are led by a blue male gando, and more are led by a large white lanthay. The lanthay 
is accompanied by a red flame and a winged revro." 

"Galiose?" I asked in shocked disbelief, knowing the blue gando might be none other than he. "And 
Telion and Lialt and-Ceralt?" 

In a whisper did the last name come from my throat, and I sat unmoving as my hands trembled about the 
pot of dare I held. My warriors in Bellinard were to be besieged by Galiose and Ceralt? And I was to 
appear with greater numbers and end the siege? By attacking? Ceralt? 


"Jalav, your war leaders press for an opportunity to speak with you," said Ennat from the tent flap, her 
frown now for S'Heernoh. "They would hear more of the gods we soon ride to do battle with." 

"Jalav, your war leaders press for an opportunity to speak with you," said Ennat from the tent flap, her 
frown now for S'Heernoh. "They would hear more of the gods we soon ride to do battle with." 

"These strangers are enemies of Mida, are they not?" she asked, looking upon me with puzzlement. 
"What other thing than gods might be those who come from the skies and are enemies to a god? Would 
our aid be necessary against mortals?" 

The words hung between us as they also echoed in my mind, and slowly did I come to realize that Ennat 
spoke no other thing than truth. The enemies of gods were indeed gods themselves, and yet the thought 
had never before occurred to me. 

I rose to my feet to stand tall amidst all the confusion I felt, tossing my head to free my arms of the 
strands of hair which nearly bound them. I rode to Bellinard to battle the gods-and also-perhaps-one 
who was no god at all. 


